I sprayed Raid along the baseboards the night before last, being extra careful to make sure the dogs weren’t near it.

However, yesterday morning- in my mad rush to get ready- I sort of (yes, “sort of.” It makes me feel a little better instead of fully admitting what I moron I was) dropped the ball on monitoring the pups. I started hearing this noise but paid no attention. It continued for a few minutes, but I was still rushing around and not fully able to concentrate on anything else. I turned around and there’s Lucy, going to town on the baseboards. The noise was her licking the Raid off!

I seriously thought I was going to come home to a dead dog. I really thought she was going to be poisoned. I stressed all day long about what I would tell Will, and what would happen if she was sick. Turns out, she’s a freak of nature. She was totally fine. Although, she did cross her eyes and walk in circles a lot last night…

I still don’t think I’m ready for kids though. I’m having enough trouble keeping the doggies alive- can you imagine slapping a baby in my arms!?…

Electrical sockets that have pieces of a cover jammed into them

A gallon of bleach on the laundry room floor

Heavy doors that I slam all the time

Leaving the oven open

Guys- I’m a freaking mess!

Go ahead and call Child Protective Services. I know you want to.