Picture this-

You’re on vacation, staying in a hotel, and just finishing up your shower. The mirrors are all steamy because you spent forever taking the extra time to carefully shave your legs- they’re totally sex prepared. You lotion up and put on your sleaziest vacation lingerie (in fact it’s SOO sleazy it can’t even be classified as a sexy home lingerie. It’s one of those out of character only for out of town trip ones- you all know what I’m talking about. The ones that nomally make us blush upon seeing them in the window). You’re totally ready to pull out all the stops! You fling open the door with your best come and get me grin…

And find you father in law sitting in your hotel chair next to your husband. They’re eating Fritos and licking bean dip that’s dryly glued to their beards as they watch the evening football game.

Can I please die of embarrassment?

Okay, so this scenario is not true but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. See, Will and I are going to all the out of town OU games while we’re home. One of which is all the way in Missouri. This means an overnight stay. In a hotel. No problem, right? No- not at all… until you add the in-law factor.

Will’s mom will probably miss that game so it will be me, Will, and his dad (as if that’s not enough blogging material to last me a year- “Road Trip with the L boys”). I casually mentioned to Will this weekend,

“ You know… if we go to the Missouri game with your dad- what are we going to do about hotel rooms?” <- totally asking him for his response and totally knowing my response AKA the RIGHT answer.

“Oh… I hadn’t thought about that.” The typical male answer, right? What they’re really saying is “oh, huh… good point. I’m so glad I have a wife like you to bring to light all the necessary details such a where my dad will sleep while we’re doing some awkward rendition of a mating ritual l saw on Animal Planet.”

I honestly think Will hesitated and was thinking for a split second that we would all share a hotel room.

In fact, the issue sort of dissolved for the moment and we haven’t talked about it since. So- there are still conversations to be had about the MO trip! Seriously! There is no freaking way EVER in a million years I could sleep with Will with his dad 10 feet away. There is no way I could pee or shower or get ready in the morning while Will’s dad is in the same room or simply separated by a flimsy bathroom door. Heck-I get ready in my bra!

“Oh, excuse me Paul. You don’t mind if my shiny pink bra is scarred in your memory do you? I get hot in the morning and don’t like to be bothered with clothes.” Umm- no. I’m sure Will is going to totally agree, right? I mean, that weird hesitation was just… a weird hesitation, right? I’m sure it was. I mean, seriously, when you think about it logically it makes sense- right? Last year I spent the night with Jenny (MIL). You might remember that post. It was enlightening.

Guys, there is NO WAY I can spend the night with Paul. Ever. Period. Not even for blogging material. It’s simply sick and wrong. I think Will’s hesitation was just a, “Oh duh. I didn’t think about that.” Sort of thing. I’m sure I’ll be letting you know come the week of the MO game! Just incase I better bring some big frumpy pjs and green face cream. Maybe that would scare him away. We can only hope.

“Hey guys, let’s rent a scary movie and paint our toes and eat a ton of junk food!“ Umm-not the sort of sleepover you envision as young girl, right? Maybe the horror movie part, but even so.

I’ve also thought of becoming wife of the week and mention it would be fun if Will and his dad went on a male bonding trip- girl free of course. I know that would make Will happy too. They’re already taking a fishing trip together, but maybe this would be another good opportunity for Will to spend time with his dad. I know he worries about his dad’s health a lot and worries that there may not be many more “Will and Paul” trips in the coming years. So, that’s another possibility.  But then there’s that whole other awkward situation of staying the weekend with Jenny.

Alone.

With no witnesses to testify to what caused my sudden death.

I’m trading one weird situation for another. Okay, it wouldn’t be bad at all, but I’m already freaking out about being left “alone” on the fishing trip- could I handle another weekend and escape with my life? It’s a risky consideration. I’ll be sure to keep you all posted as the Missouri trip approaches.

Approaches- AHHH! It’s practically freaking here, sitting on my lap!

I told Will this morning that from this point on, everything we do won’t be repeated! I know that may sound confusing, but what I meant is this is the last Tuesday we’ll be here. So many Tuesdays I thought about the Tuesdays to follow, but this TUesday is the last Tuesday before vacation- no more Kuwait Tuesdays (for a while anyway)! It’s an amazing feeling to know it’s really here and to think that next week at this exact moment Will and I will be completely jet lagged, eating at Don Pablos (we decided to make that a Minneapolis tradition since we did it on our first day last year), and conversing over all our fun finds at the Mall that day.

Life is good (but in 5 days it will be better. J)