For the love of all little children that deserve a good home and occasional bread and water- please pray that women in Kuwait stop freaking using the pill and start popping out kids!

Guys, I’m seriously having a “sponge” moment like Elaine did in Seinfeld.

Do you remember that episode? They were taking the sponge off the market so everyone woman that so much as even thought they might have sex in the next 12 years went on a sponge hoarding spree, leaving women desperate and stingy. “Was so-and-so ‘sponge-worthy?’ Did he really deserve access to one of my thirty-three available sponges?” women across the world asked.

That’s where I am, guys. In a desperate, sponge-like predicament, grasping for hope and raiding all pharmacies with what I need. Yeah, I admit it, I’m totally about to become the mother (no pun intended- ha ha) of all birth control hoarders!

A couple of years ago I had an interesting experience with birth control in Kuwait (insert the link to where I talked about this experience...NOT). As odd as it seems in such a religious and conservative country, you can walk right into any pharmacy and come out with just about anything your little heart desires (you name it), including birth control. Turns out, birth control is quite a hot commodity around here (again- this is where I should insert the link to where I talk about this subject only am too lazy to do so). On several occasions I’ve had to go to more than one pharmacy to find what I need, and when I do you better believe I “Elaine” the joint and take all they have, even if it means the poor 70 year old woman behind the counter has to dig in the back for a freaking case.

I don’t care woman!

Now give me my Meds!

YELLA old woman!! (yella = hurry)

Seriously, I don’t mess around with that crap. I’m pretty sure the woman called me a female goat (which is a huge insult here). I don’t understand why she would have said that…

Maybe it was when I went around the counter to look for the stuff myself-

or the fact that I told her I was tired of “her kind” taking everything for themselves and not leaving anything for the little people.

Power to the people!

She looked at me as if to say, “You freaking idiot moron. I’m 72. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve needed that crap!?”

Anyway, back to the predicament.

Unfortunately there is this amazing BCP called Minesse. I say un because it has become the Holy Grail of birth control- everyone wants it, no one can find it. It’s the lowest dose of hormone you can possibly give someone without a big fat bold disclaimer that screams, “Caution: You’re more than likely going to get pregnant by taking a pill with such a low dose of whatever-the-crap it is that we put in here.”

When I first started taking it, it wasn’t available in the states (probably because our FDA ran a whole bunch of tests and found that 9 out of 10 people got pregnant when using it. Bummer. Let’s hope not.), but maybe now it’s been introduced in the US. I have no idea. All I know is that I love the stuff.

So does every other woman in Kuwait.

Do women in Kuwait even have sex?

Exaaaactly.

I think they’re in cahoots (sp!?) to buy the country’s stock of birth control just to piss people like me off.

I’m back. Sorry I’ve been MIA this week. The last 11 days I’ve worked 130 hours (un-freaking-believable)- and today isn’t over yet. I’ve missed you guys!