Being an older sister is hard sometimes.

As I’ve mentioned before, I have this “motherly” thing with P. I feel like I need to be the tracking bracelet harnassed to her ankle, you know, just to make sure she’s okay. I feel like part of me is part of her (ha ha, I guess technically it is if you want to get into genes and all that stuff).

That’s why I almost had a breakdown over dinner Thursday night.

We were enjoying a lovely evening, when all of a sudden my mom looks down the table at Z and says, “You know, things just aren’t going to be the same when you’re gone!”

WHAT!?

My pulse quickens.

I start breathing faster.

Sweat? Yes, sweat.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

My mom them turned to me and said, “Oh- Z is leaving Saturday morning to go to London.”

Guys- I almost cried right there in my steak.

But then I realized it would be a pity to waste such a good steak- so I held it together.

Can I simply say I felt like Z was breaking up with me over dinner!? I had flashbacks to my junior year when I was on the phone with my boyfriend droning on about German class and he got all quiet. Then the “mutal break-up” ensued (I have no idea why… it couldn’t have anything to do with boring German class talk, right?? Nah.) This couldn’t be happening again right? My sister was jovial and fine, and here I am in utter shock that Z was “breaking up with me.”

He and P are staying together, but he left because he starts college this fall. I knew it was coming, but I was surprised it was so soon. A few weeks ago when I asked he didn’t know, but then bam! I get the break-up news over a wonderful family dinner.

The only thing missing was the infamous, “We need to talk...” line.

So, Z and I are “breaking up.”

I guess it’s true when they say families get attached to the boyfriends too. Who would have thought!? I really like him and P together, and knowing he’s a million miles away makes me sad for her, even if they are still together.

I actually got a lump in my throat yesterday morning when he sent me a text message bidding farewell. I felt so bad for P and it made my heart hurt. Let’s hope Christmas break comes soon for their sake. I told my sister the message made me sad and she totally played the role of the older sister, telling me everything was going to be fine, blah, blah, blah.

Did I mention it seemed like I was the one getting dumped???

Young love is the pits sometimes, huh?

So, I guess you could say I’m surviving my first “sister boyfriend breakup.” I thought break-ups were over! Apparently, I’m going to be experiencing them for quite a while. Self-inflicted supportive heart break… I’m such a good sister, aren’t I?

And she and Z are still together! Imagine what a mess I’ll be during a real break up!

Lord help us all.

Excuse me, I need to get back to my Ben and Jerry’s, tissue box, and 10 Things I Hate About You.

Did I mention I’m taking this hard?