I seriously-

wait.

What’s a more desperate word for seriously?

Hmm…

I don’t know.

I guess we’ll just stick with seriously- but when you read it put some emphasis on it. For example:

seriously

or

seriously

or

seriously

or even

seriously.

Okay?

Moving on…

I (insert emphasis) seriously need to move out of the in-laws’ house.

Don’t get me wrong, they’re great. “Pat” (remember her? I named Will’s mom Pat because she reminds me of Amy’s mother on Everybody Loves Raymond) has had dinner ready each night I come home from work. It’s been so thoughtful and wonderful. I’m really thankful for it.

But (insert emphasis) seriously- I need to get out of here.

I almost flew off the handle today.

During our last trip home I believe I mentioned the fact that Will’s mom was on my case about when we were going to have kids.

You know- because it’s incredibly selfish of me not to want to have them and give her grandkids. That she can spoil and have fun with and then give them back while I’m trying to feed them, clothe them, and put them through college.

Well today it happened again. Will and I were signing up for health benefits through my company and asked for Pat’s help in assessing all the options.

“Well you know, you may want to get coverage X for the maternity benefits.”

Now- it wouldn’t have been a big deal- but it was all in the way it was said. Not only that, but it was mentioned more than once.

Perhaps it’s not a big deal. In fact, in all honesty, the comment is pretty harmless I guess, but (insert emphasis) seriously- it bugged me.

“Well we won’t have to worry about that for a while,” I said.

What I really wanted to say was, “Never! We’re NEVER going to have to worry about that! Get off my freaking case! The more it’s brought up the further it pushes me away!”

but I refrained.

The truth is- I’m sort of softening up to the idea of a kid in a few years. I would really like to adopt a child from a developing country. However, that’s a whole other post for a whole other day.

I honestly don’t know if I want to ever have children, but I figure it’s good to keep an open mind. (yes- Brittny B-Love- the woman that never in a trillion years wanted a kid did just say she was softening up to the idea of one. Mark it down.)

I don’t care about that biological clock crap. If it’s time for me to adopt or have a child, I’m going to have a freaking child, you know? So what if I’m 25, Pat!? Do you realize people aren’t even getting married until they’re in their (gasp!) 30s nowadays!? I wouldn’t mind adopting a child around the 30 mark and then seeing how that works out. It irritates me that since they only waited a few years to have kids and since all they’re friends have grandkids we need to be sex machines cranking out handsome, genius, “my kid is better than your kid” babies every 2 years!

AHHH!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, it just really irritates me how she tries to get in her opinion. How it’s like I’m made to feel guilty for not wanting children.

She left the room for a few minutes and I flew off the handle.

“Tell her, Will!

Tell her that we’re not going to have kids!

Tell her or I’ll tell her!” I told him.

He didn’t.

I didn’t either.

Part of me wants her to know so she’ll get off my back- and not only that- but she’ll be elated if we ever do end up deciding to have kids due to the fact that she was told we weren’t having any.

Will told me not to let her get to me, but it does. It totally irritates me every time a comment is made. You know, I’m so tired of being made to feel guilty for not wanting to possibly ever have kids. Hmm- I already said that about 10 sentences ago. Oh well. I felt the need to repeat myself.

Plus it’s just his mom. I think that adds to my annoyances.

My parents are so great. Of course they want little children running around their house one day, but I’ve flat out told them I don’t want kids and they have totally backed off. They know where I stand and have stopped asking. In fact, when I told them about the possibility of adopting a child from another country in the next couple of years they were so supportive and thrilled. Sadly, I don’t think Pat would feel the same way.

I don’t know why, but I just want Will to flat out tell her what’s going on so she backs off. Then again, I know in my heart it’s not worth it and by next week we’ll be moved out and living on our own and these little digs won’t bother me so much because I’ll have my own house to go to at the end of the day.

I also can understand her perspective. I mean grandbabies are cute and fun and all her friends have them so I’m sure she wants one too. I know she doesn’t mean to meddle- but she is.

Thank God for this blog. I seriously needed to vent today.

So there you have it- my yelling session of the week.

Geez a Lou I wish I could post during the week. You guys miss out on so much fun! ha ha. I’m hoping to have the internet up at the house in a few more weeks. We close on the 30th. I’m so excited!

I’m booking tickets to Rome this weekend, which is even more exciting. The cruise will be here before I even realize! I wish you were coming along.

More vents to come, I’m certain. Have a nice weekend.

missing you…