The B Love Life

take it all off!

It’s starting to get hot out and I’m dying to wear shorts and tanks and fun and cute girly summer stuff. However, I don’t have that luxury here.

I have to dress “modestly” and wear capris and sleeves and everything that makes sweat run down my back.

Okay, retraction, no matter WHAT you wear here sweat is going to run down your back and your neck and your butt crack and you even get that nasty unattractive upper lip sweat.

Ew.

I miss being able to go to Wal-Mart in shorts and a tank and be considered totally normal. I told Will back in Decemeber when we were home I was going to wear shorts just because I could! I didn’t end up doing it because it was cold, but it would have been nice. I don’t even remember the last time I wore shorts in public. That is really sad!

I have a confession.

When we came home for Christmas I thought all of you stateside ladies were hussies.

Yep.

Sorry.

Being Totally honest here!

I would see women in short skirts and low cut shirts and I would instantly think, “What a tramp!”

How funny!? What am I!? An 88 year old woman?!

I guess so.

It’s almost scary how my thoughts on clothes have been morphed. Okay, not morphed, because as soon as I get home I’m walking around in the fewest articles of clothing possible (ha ha), but it sort of has changed because I’ve gotten used to things here.

I guess 2 weeks ago an American got arrested for wearing a bikini. A bikini! I initially thought, “Oh my gosh!! She was wearing a bikini!?” Like I was totally shocked someone would do such a “terrible and audacious thing,” but then I thought, “Crap. That’s what I have in my drawer too!”

Who AM I?

Honestly though, I don’t think you would want to wear a bikini here even if you were allowed. You would probably be the only one and you would scream, “Hey!! Look at me! I’m a big blonde obnoxious American that can’t respect your culture!” Well, at least that is how they would see it. Although, because I’ve been clothes brainwashed I would think the same thing too. Ha ha.

So, I guess I’m forced to sweat the entire summer in my modest clothes. Thank God I don’t have to wear an abbaya. Now THAT would be hot. Those black things suck in so much heat from the sun they could probably be an energy source.

Bzzt! (that’s an electric buzzing sound for you ladies that wondered)

I think I’ll get off that subject now.

It’s only March.

I will wait until July when it’s 135 and I feel like a slab of teriyaki beef jerky because of the fierce heat.

Yeah.

Prepare you hussy women! There will be lots of complaining of heat in the near future.

What!?

You’re mad because I called you a hussy!?

Ugh. You’re so sensitive!

Okay, okay. You’re right.

I’m sorry.

I was only joking.

I was generalizing.

I know you’re not a hussy.

I love you!

Are we cool now?

Are we?

Please say yes?

Okay! Okay! You caught me!!

I’ll admit it!

I’m jealous!

I want to walk around in summer clothes and I can’t! It’s the truth I tell you!

Sigh…

My tantrum is over for the moment…

Do you want to talk about something else now!?!

Lets!

Today is Friday. It’s so funny how embedded the American work week is in our brain. Wednesday will forever be Friday to me and Saturday, when I come back to work, it;s always Monday. I guess that’s just a weird quark.

I have to go home and clean tonight so I don’t totally freak out and so I won’t be in a bad mood all evening. Something about a disaster of a house puts me in a terrible mood and I tend to project that onto others.

It’s sad really, I know… but true!

Will has to pick up some new people at the airport tonight so I think it will be a boring evening. We’ll probably go to be early so he can get up late and pick them up (they come in at midnight). I don’t really care what we do. I’m just glad to be off.

Have I ever told you guys I want a new job?

Have I?

Maybe jus tonce or twice, huh? Ha ha. What a laugh.

Okay, I think I’ve said enough today. As you can probably tell, I’m a little excited that I get to leave this cage and finally have a weekend. What gave it away?

Can’t be sure…

Well thanks for reading! I can’t wait to catch up on your girls’ blogs!

In the meantime you have to do something for me.

I don’t care if your in Michigan or New England or Colorado or Indiana or any other northern place darn it!

You have to wear shorts for me!

you heard me! Don’t be skerrd (scared for you normal people)!

That’s right. I want to see legs EVERYWHERE! I don’t care if it’s 24 with the windchill.

Take one for the team!

Do you think I’m crazy?

I’m not.

I promise.

Well, at least there have been no confirmed reports at this time…