It’s amazing out today.

Simply amazing.

Today is the sort of day that reminds me, “Brittny, you can do this. Life is about so much more than this stupid job.”

It’s true.

God gave me the most beautiful day today and instead of just being thankful for the beautiful sun and the warm air, my thoughts are consumed with how much I loathe my job.

I had to go outside to take something to another office and was just taken aback with the beautiful day.

Now- the pessimistic, “I hate my job” side of me initially thought, “Ugh. A reminder that the hellish 130 degree summer is on it’s way.”

However,the optimistic, “God is going to give you strength to get through this time” side of me thought of E.E. Cummings and “Thank you God for this most amazing day” (I think I wrote it right… don’t kill me English majors.). I love that poem.

I seemed to banter back and forth between the two during my walk but finally decided.

Yes. I hate my job. I have never been more unhappy in more short life than now. Yes. I am afraid that this job is changing me as a person in some ways, but you know what? In the grand scheme of things my job ultimately doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t. Today, a beautiful day such as today, reminds me that knowing God and making Him known to others is really the only thing that ultimately counts. That enjoying his creation and appreciating it’s beauty brings Him honor. It reminded me that I have so much to be thankful for.

Today, as I was enjoying the warm air, I simply thought, “I can’t wait to see Will tonight.” It made me look forward to finish my work day and get home to something that really mattered. Will is forever telling me, “Life is too short to worry about everything.” Actually, because my mind is forever clouded with worries Will shortened it and simply says, “Life’s too short,” and he is so right. He has to constantly remind me of this, but I constantly need reminding! He is so about enjoying life while we’re here.

I remember one fall night after church in particular. It was a perfect evening. We were headed home when all of a sudden he pulled into Taco Bueno (the best Mexican fast food place ever!). We were so poor our first year of marriage, and Taco Bueno was like going to the Ritz Carlton for us. I remember that we only had like $20 in our bank account until the next payday. I told Will we didn’t need to spend money on fast food that’s for sure! He simply told me that life was too short. We got our food and he took me to our college campus (the place where we met), where we ate at picnic table and then walked around campus talking for over an hour.

Some might have said it was foolish to blow 6 bucks on a dinner when you only had $20 in checking. Yeah, maybe, but that night was the best. Will and I talked about so many big things. Important things, our dreams, life things… it was a wonderful night. That’s just a simple one but it was the first thing that came to my mind today for some reason. We’ve had lots of “Life’s too short” moments like that- because of Will and certainly not because of me. It is easy for me to lose sight of the small little things that make life so much better when you’re watching. Instead I blow past them and look for the big stuff.

I have spent my day in negativity all day, hating everything.about where I am. How wasteful. How wasteful and foolish of me to concentrate all my efforts on hating something when I could instead be blessed by enjoying the simple fact that the sun is out and a warm breeze is blowing and that before long my sweet husband is going to come home and hold me really tight.

Just typing that makes my heart fill with excitement. I only wish I could truly appreciate the day instead of being stuck inside, but perhaps just acknowledging the fact that I need to take time to enjoy these little blessings more will put me on the right track to live a fuller life with my favorite person.  <3

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I’m finally home and enjoying my evening. I typed the above “stuff” while I was at work today. Will and I both got off a little early tonight, so it was really nice to have the extra time together.

I know I rambled on about “the sun” and “the great day-” gag, right? Sorry, but it was just on my mind. I really need to focus on being an optimist about where I am in my life right now, and today reminded me of that.

thanks for listening to me attempt to be “deep.” ha ha. As you can see I’m not good at it.

Anyway, hope you’re enjoying the rest of your weekend. Seize the day!