I should probably be upfront and tell you this is not the “cheeriest” of posts to brighten a Monday, but somehow through this tension and stress I’m about to talk about I think not only I will feel better, but you will too (Okay, so I’m stretching that a bit… a lot, but oh well).

Today is more of a “healthy” vent session that actually has me feeling better, so feel free to read along.

Its about to blow in this little apartment. The tension is reaching dangerous levels and I am tip toeing around waiting for Mount St. Helens just to ash the joint.

My mom came and asked me if everything was okay with her and Will. She said she didn’t know what was going on but she knew something was wrong. The temperature skyrocketed in the room. I didn’t even want to have to mess with that whole situation. I told her I didn’t want to be the one to talk about it, and she said I shouldn’t have to and that she will talk to Will- which in all honesty is probably not great at this point either. I would so just like to wait until we move out then hash all of these feelings and then have to live in this small apartment for God knows how much longer all together. Is that bad? I don’t know. I do know how my mom is though- so I think that’s the best way to deal with this mess.

Anyway, that whole situation has been the main contributing factor of my foul mood today, and I’m afraid it had spilt over from yesterday. That’s the worst thing that can happen too- to feel bad and then to fall asleep thinking tomorrow will be better only to wake up in the same mood you went to sleep with. I just wanted to wad the world up and use it as my personal punching bag. Quite an analogy huh?

I’ve had many “I just want to go into my room, shut the door, and yell “ days since I’ve been here, but today I was just in a bad mood all together and I’m not really sure why. Most of it is because of the tension of living with my parents, however there are many- no COUNTLESS, variables that could be the culprit to these feelings of “mad.“

For example, today it is my family. Yesterday, on top of my family, it was the fact that I started my non-approved, lowest dose on the market, don’t worry you SHOULD be fine birth control which I may name later. Plus, as I said yesterday, Aunt Flo had already scheduled a visit that I had previously “okayed” only to change my mind. So currently she is ferociously beating down the door with all her mentstral and hormonal anger and I’m just praying that this new stuff will fend her off. But, I can’t say I blame her. I’d be in a bad mood too. Maybe that is why I’m in a bad mood. Who am I to speculate though?

I have bad days, but its not too often when I just am not my friendly self. When this happens, its just bad. In these instances I should probably wear a sign that says something like, “ Typically cheerful person in the foulest of moods. This is a lethal combination and should be considered threatening.” I’m sure you’ve all had one of those days when all it took was the smallest of things to trigger your emotions just the wrong way. For me it was the dryer. I’ll set this up for you so you don’t think I’m totally crazy.

It literally takes an entire day to do laundry here. Their stupid washers take an hour, and then it takes (and I’m not joking) all day to dry the clothes in the dryer. It is a very frustrating process, especially with 5 people that wear clothes everyday and have lots of laundry. You set it for 130 minutes and then you have to drain the water from this bin, start it again and repeat the process twice. Anyway, the outlet situation in our apartment is deplorable. We have kitchen 4 outlets and 6 major appliances- including 2 refrigerators (the “main” one is super small so we had to get another small one), and a small deep freeze. Anyway, every so often we have fuse issues. Today we had fuse issues.

I had to reset the power stip 3 times. FInally it started sparking and smoking which had me totally freaking out. It took forever to pry the plug out of the wall and everything in the freezer was melting and our clothes were all hot and wet and just sitting there… Like I said it was one of those “small” things that just got me going today.

On top of that we had found out that we are not going to get our money from the guy that bought out house because he is still refusing to pay the deposit and if we really wanted it we would end up spending more in a lawyer than we would on the deposit. So, it goes on the market today.

And then, which is was the kicker for me for some odd reason- Will is paying a $150 cancellation fee for our cell phones that my parents are responsible for (we paid our share already) because he doesn’t want to mess with the headache of having to deal with them. Don’t ever get a family plan with your family- just get a couples plan, it will save you a huge headache! Anyway, that irked me. Once again, the “smallest things.”

Will was exhausted today for some reason. He got up late and then was able to get home early because he had this visa thing all day at work. He got home, played (any guesses?) his new game, and then took a nap from 4:30 to 7:00. I was in such a bad mood- and this is terrible- that I just wanted him to wake up because I thought, and I quote, “You have slept too long.” What a dumb thing to say. It sounds like such a mom farce. If the guy is tired, let him sleep! He had to give blood for this visa thing, so I’m sure it had something to do with it.

Anyway, I woke him up and he went out and had dinner while. The whole time I just have this terrible feeling in my stomach that any minute my parent’s bedroom door was going to open and they would want to talk- which as I said earlier, we just really need to do when we’re not under their roof.

She’s gonna blow!

So you are probably thinking, “ how dumb to let all of those little things get you in a bad mood,” and after reading over this post, I agree that you are very right. I’ll be the first to admit that during these last few days I have been focusing so much on all of this house and job and living with my parents stuff that the “little things” have just totally worn me out. Who knew you had to be mentally tough to sit in an apartment all day and live with your family! Sorry for the huge vent session- they are so annoying, aren’t they!? Who likes to hear others complain when we all have something of our own going on? I apologize. There are enough bad things going on in the world and problems like this- minor problems in the grand scheme of the world- are really silly to get worked up over, but that was me as of yesterday! I guess its okay to feel that way every now and then as long as you don’t continually sit in those feelings. Tomorrow is a new day and theres a whole new opportunity to enjoy it. I definitely owe it to myself to focus on the positive, as I have been trying to do most days- but that sure can be rough sometimes!

Will said it best as I was just huffing and puffing and complaining about our situation and why he wouldn’t just “wake up for cryin’ out loud.” (As the sole “breadwinner” plus the fact that he has had to live with the inlaws, he has had to endure a lot more of the stress than I) Despite all the mess around us he simply said, “You know what? You have a husband that loves you very much. He’s just really tired,” and then he peacefully drifted off to sleep as if we had no cares in the world.