Because I'm Terrible at Scrapbooks

it’s hard being so busy!

I’ve played 48 games of solitaire today. I’ve won about half.

But who’s counting anyway?

I think winning half is pretty good.

Okay, if you’re in school that’s like an “F“, but solitaire is a challenging game (HA) and I have the theory if I go through the deck and don’t have more than 100 points the first time, I start a new game. So- there are probably games that I COULD have won but just chose not to. smile

Wow. Now you know my strange theory on solitaire. I’m sure you psychology majors are totally analyzing that now. Yes, I’m a strange person. I solved the mystery of my ways so you don’t have to. Trust me, it would take too long.

I changed the design of the cards and drew up a stupid excel sheet of each design and how many games I played and won with each design so I could compare… I’m kicking butt with the cloud design right now.

Not having the internet at work really brings out the go-getter in me.

I really need a vent session about all that, but have decided not to bore you with all the details of my depressing labor situation. Who wants to read that stuff anyway? Especially on a Monday- or ever really…

I have to say that the highlight of this day just may be when I got this awesome new uniball gel pen. Is that sad or what? I’ve been using it to write Very Important Documents… okay… my name over and over on a yellow sticky.

It’s amazing how fun a black gel pen can seem when you are harnessed to a chair for 11 hours.

I see a lot of potential in my future.  I could seriously become a successful artist. At the moment I have lots of “training time.” I’ve been practicing Mona Lisa on the big Post-it pads. Here’s a helpful hint for all you aspiring artists: it’s all in the shading. Uniball gel pens are a little tricky to shade with, but if you can master this art, you are on your way to a successful and solid career.

Yeah, good old Mona. She’s looking pretty good, only I’ve been using my little “cubi buddy” (the lady I share my cubicle with) as my inspiration. I’m trying to be discrete, but I think she knows I’m up to no good. It may have to do with the,

“Sorry. I know you’re busy, but could your purse your lips a bit more and turn your head about 35 degrees towards me? Little more… little more… PERFECT!”

That might have given it away.

I’ve been religiously looking at my planner for like 10 minutes at a time as if something is going to change and it will instantly be filled with things to do. I’ve written down every birthday, anniversary, dog’s birthday, dentist appointments, Honduras’ election dates, what I’ve eaten today, the special powers held by the kids on the old cartoon show Captain Planet (BTW- it’s earth, fire, wind, water, and heart… Go Planet! And then after I did that I debated which one I would want if I could have one… I’m still undecided), and everything else you can imagine… and all that only took about 20 minutes. So then I did a countdown of the days until my anniversary. That took a whole 5 minutes. So then I did the days until my birthday- again 5 minutes.

I’m really struggling here!

I called “Ethel” and told her I was bored and she says she throws candy over the cubicles with little goofy notes attached and then totally plays dumb. I thought that was pretty funny, but I’m in a super small office and my cubi buddy would totally rat me out. Not only that, but I know my office wouldn’t appreciate a snickers bar with, “It’s okay, you won’t get much fatter if you eat this” attached or, “Maybe if you ate one of these freaking things you would crack a smile now and then.” Yeah. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t take it as funny.

I have to admit, it is REALLY hard work trying to look busy. I mean, it’s more stressful than actual work! I don’t even have a computer right now, so I’m using my boss’(boss’s?? bosses?? I don’t freaking know. I maxed out on all my English stuff in school but now I’m the world’s worst grammarian. Tell me how that works.) - who has none of the documents I need (and also does not have the internet!). I have a fake Publisher document created so that I can actually look like I’m doing something when my “big boss,” the boss over my boss, comes around.

See, I even went to the freaking trouble of MAKING UP work so that it looks like I’m actually working!!! How insane is that!? I actually made up some stupid commercial sponsorship form that I am constantly opening and clicking on and drawing little boxes in so that I forever looked swamped.

Ha ha. Yeah. I’m sure I’ve got my cubi buddy fooled. She’s seen me with the same form up all freaking day.

“Man, this form sure is tricky,” I say.

I know she doesn’t buy it.

I mean, it’s not my fault that I don’t have the internet or a computer, but I feel like I need to be doing something productive, and I just don’t have anything to do! I’m sure no one even thinks anything of it since matters are out of my hands, but since I have intense paranoia I just “know” everyone is thinking, “OOOoooooooo! Brittny isn’t woooorkiiiing!” Yes, I’m like 5 and have a stupid and mindless complex. I know. 

Every now and then people can work from home for a day or two- which would be great for me being that I have no computer or internet- but I don’t dare ask. Long story.

Anyway, since that is not an option for me I’ll continue to sit in my dorky little cubicle and continue to stress over that persnickety Publisher document I just can’t design the right way. smile

So after lunch I was feeling very restless. I prank called “Ethel” a couple of times, but when she called 2 minutes later and said, “Yes, Brittny, my refrigerator is running,” I remembered she had caller id on her work phone. Dang! I felt like such a loser. We had a good laugh though.

I’ve (in my head of course) sang the “name song” (you know- Brittny Brittny bobrittny banana fanna fo Frittny… blah blah blah) with every one in my office- and a few others.

My dad’s is the funniest- Chuck. You get to the middle and have to stop and bust up laughing because of the F bomb. You’d think that wouldn’t be funny after a while (and because of the fact that I’m over the age of 12) - but it still is.

I then took everyone’s first letter of their last name and switched it for the first letter of their first name- like Sane Jmith. Ha ha. My time with THAT was hilarious. I even laughed out loud a couple of times. I started to feel like a serious moron so I stopped playing that game.

It is currently 4:00 (though, by the time I post this it will be later). I have successfully pissed away 10 hours of my day. Whew. I feel like I accomplished a lot! Like I said- LOOKING busy is harder than it seems! I’m afraid I’m running out of ideas to keep me occupied. Self-entertaining was sort of fun for a couple of hours, but now it is simply tedious. I feel so cheap. (haha)

**

At home now, thankfully. I only wish my nights went as slow as my days. smile I got up to tinkle last night at midnight and the first thing I thought when I saw 00:16 on the clock was, “Yessss, 3 more hours of sleep.” That’s just not natural! smile If only my sleeping and time with Will “dragged on” forever. Sigh.

Thanks for reading my crazy post. Wouldn’t I be a fun coworker!? Ha ha. I’m sure you would appreciate my mysterious candy notes flying onto your desk. Ha ha.

Sending Snickers your way!

<3

Who could resist this dorky goofy face at the office? ha ha I’m such a weirdo.

posted in The Old Blog bullet permalink bullet 2.20.2006

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About

brittny I'm B-Love. Lover of God, my husband Will, my doggies, OU football, weight training, plyometrics healthy eating (mostly!), peanut butter, and all things health related. Buckle up and get ready for my constant embarrassing moments, health and fitness tips,and my effort to rely on Christ while living life in the real world. Follow me on Feedly! Sign up for monthly emails at blove@theblovelife.com!


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