I want the Heffernans to be our best friends.

Yes, you heard me right. I want fictional TV characters to magically move to Kuwait, become our neighbors, and think we’re the funniest and best couple to ever walk the earth.

I have a serious problem, guys. I really want that! Will thinks I’m the biggest nut ever- but seriously… I still want it.

Maybe it’s because the friend market here is lacking like a dry shriveled up California rasin in late July, or maybe it’s because, well, everyone knows Doug and Carrie Heffernan are great, but guys- that’s what I want for my anniversary gift: Doug and Carrie Heffernan.

We’re a match made in Heaven! I can see it now-

Will and Doug are off every weekend cheering on their favorite teams (depending on the season), while Carrie and I are out shopping, or eating at that new healthy café down the street, okay okay, and occasional taking Arthur to the Senior Center for Boggle Day.

Will has a built in buddy for all his sports events

I have a built-in gym buddy

Will has the perfect guy to play Madden with

I have the perfect girl to help me pick the perfect lip gloss.

What’s so strange about that!?

Is it strange that the one thing that gets me through the day is knowing I’ll come home and Will and I will sit on the couch to watch what Doug and Carrie did today?

Is it strange that I’m always telling Will, “Oh my gosh, Carrie would love that!” or “Hmm, I wonder if Carrie would wear that?”

Is it strange that I think about them during the day as if they’re real people?

No- that’s not strange at all! Totally normal.

Exactly!!

Doug is Will’s perfect best friend match! It’s almost scary! I mean- they both love to eat, they both love sports, they both love to eat, they both love sports… can we have any two people with any more in common!? I think not!

And I mean, Carrie and I are perfect too! We both like shopping, being healthy, and,

Uh…

Umm…

What else??…

I promote marriage, Carrie broke up a marriage because she didn’t gel with the husband

I buy my clothes, Carrie buys them, wears them until the

return policy is up and brings them back for a refund

I’m take joy in other’s victories, Carrie had to go to counseling because she enjoys when others are miserable

Hmm…

Well…

Carrie’s great, right? We have TONS in common. Me, Carrie, the best of buds, right?

Right?

(crickets)

…

Forget it, maybe Will’s right.

but I can still wish, right?

<3