Because I'm Terrible at Scrapbooks

Dealing With Doubts

I’ve been “saved” 3 times.

Once when I was six,

once in junior high dealing with doubts,

and finally my freshman year of college when I was struggling with doubts so very intense to the point when I thought maybe I never really “got saved” that day on my parent’s bed in junior high.

I concluded these doubts probably meant I wasn’t saved...so I need to “get saved.”

Just to be safe.

I know what you’re thinking, “Um… once would have been enough. Why three?”

Oh friends. If you’ve grown up in an evangelical church maybe you’ve known someone with a story like mine, or heck, maybe you’ve been like this yourself.

Looking back, I know in my heart I gave myself over to Jesus at a young age. There was so much fruit only God could have produced in my life back then.

When I look back at that moment my freshman year of college, on the church parlor floor with Cindy B., my Bible study leader, crying my eyes out, I was really crying out for repentance and a fresh start. A rededication. Not salvation. I already had that!

I had always walked so closely to Christ during my youth.  I had never done anything “bad” up to that point (which is funny, considering God sees all our sin as sin, no rankings). So when I actually screwed up, I felt like it meant I wasn’t a Christian.

Turns out it meant I was human (genius, Brittny). A Christian saved by grace and in need of his forgiveness.

I don’t know why I couldn’t realize it. At the time my mind was so clouded.

God had already saved and redeemed me long ago, yet I couldn’t get it through my thick skull that I simply needed to repent. I was already saved.

Because I was a Christian, God was convicting me of sin. Sin I needed to deal with.

Instead of going directly to God about the way my heart was feeling about this conviction, I got it all twisted in my mind and was convinced it all meant I wasn’t ever really saved. It totally paralyzed me in fear.

So, I decided I needed to walk down the aisle and do what my heart had already committed to long before.

Instead of going to my knees and asking for forgiveness, forgiveness he had already given me as His child, I just up and made the decision to pray the sinner’s prayer.

Again.

I tell you this story because I know a lot of people that have struggled with doubts about their salvation.

Having doubts doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not a Christian.

Today’s post isn’t a one size fits all, but I did want to offer some helpful thoughts regarding doubts. Things that have helped me in my own walk over the years.

1. Satan loves to mess with our minds.

Our crazy brains can be so vulnerable to attacks if we are not on our guard.

Things like-

“You’re not good enough,”

“God could never forgive you,”

Or “God will never use you”

Can all too easily paralyze us from being who we are meant to be.

It’s total head trash, and the devil loves to fill our minds with it to make us doubt who we are in Christ.

Aaaand it works.

I know so many people that allow fears and doubts keep them from living in the fullness of Christ.

We need to be aware of the devil’s schemes.

The Bible says he prowls around like a lion looking for someone to devour.

Um devour. As in rip to shreds.

Not like how I occasionally like to tear into a good veggie burger either. Way worse, way serious.

It’s serious business!

He wants to mess us up. It’s important to be on our guard and recognize his ploys and protect ourselves by arming ourselves with scripture (our sword!).

2. Put on your helmets!

I lovingly remind Will to put on his helmet every day he rides his motorcycle. I love that guy and want him to protect his precious head!

Likewise, Ephesians 6 gives us instructions for how to protect ourselves from our spiritual enemies. Verse 17 tells us to put on the helmet of salvation.

I love the fact it’s called the helmet of salvation.

If only I stopped to use my brain all those years ago, I probably would have avoided a lot of stress, worry, and confusion!

Paul is deliberate in naming this piece of armor the helmet of salvation.

See number one above. Satan loves to mess with our heads. He loves to stir up discouragement and doubt, and why not? It’s worked since the beginning of ages!

We must protect ourselves from those fiery darts by putting on our armor each and every day.

Seriously- put it on. Pray it on every day. 

3. Perform a reality check.

Read First John.

I love this book because the way I test God’s truths are through prayer and through is word.

Read the book and consider if these assurances are true in your own life. This book was (and is) very helpful to me during times of doubt.

If some of these things aren’t true in your life, take a look in your heart and see if there is something you need to deal with. Like me, perhaps God is tugging at your heart to deal with something wrong in your life that has been allowed to fester and damage your relationship with Him.

4. Talk to someone you trust.

Reach out to your pastor, small group leader, or a spiritual mentor you can trust and share your doubts. Chances are, they’ve been there too (read number one again) and can talk it out with you.

5. Perhaps you’re not.

Finally, another reason you may be feeling doubts is because you haven’t had a time in which you turned over your life to God and allowed him to forgive you and be your Savior.

This type of doubt is God’s grace, meant to lead you to repentance. It’s kind of like a big flashing light meant to get your attention and stir your heart.

If that’s you, don’t ignore this tug on your heart, it’s serious business!

Here’s a resource you can use if you think this one applies to you. I realize these sort of sites are sort of impersonal, so if you ever want to chat- I’m a FaceTime call away (just don’t make me stare at the ceiling the whole time like Will does. smile ).

Final Thoughts

It happens once, friends. If you are a true child of God, you will know by your fruits and the Holy Spirit working in you.

You can’t be “unsaved.” When you are a true child of God, the Bible says nothing can snatch you out of His hands. He died once. Once for all of us, and it’s enough.

If you’re in a period when you’ve fallen away, God will bring His children back into Himself. Run back to Him and allow your heart to be softened to His healing.

This isn’t a catch all for doubts, rather something I hope may resonate from some of you who have been there before, or are there now!

I just felt compelled to share.

Love and hugs from your internet friend. <3 Check in soon for more fun!

Verse

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About

brittny I'm B-Love. Lover of God, my husband Will, my doggies, OU football, weight training, plyometrics healthy eating (mostly!), peanut butter, and all things health related. Buckle up and get ready for my constant embarrassing moments, health and fitness tips,and my effort to rely on Christ while living life in the real world. Follow me on Feedly! Sign up for monthly emails at blove@theblovelife.com!


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