I was at work until 9:00 last night.

I was beyond annoyed with the entire situation.

When you work on a military base in the middle east you’re stuck.

Totally stuck on base until you are leaving for the day. There’s no running to the grocery store or going to Applebees on your lunch break. You’re stuck, dang it.

Somehow around 7:30 I “volunteered” myself to get dinner for everyone. My boss gave me money and we all agreed the easiest thing to get would be pizza. I attempted to call and order but got no answer.

No pizza.

“I KNOW!” some freaking braniac shouted, “LET’s HAVE SUBWAY!”

What a GREAT idea!

Not.

Do you know how freaking impossible it is to order sandwiches and salads for like a thousand people?

“I want a six inch turkey on white...no, no wait… make it wheat Doh! Sorry- you know what, let’s stick with white. Then I want pickles, olives, tomatoes, a TINY bit of italian dressing, a DAB of mayo, a SPRINKLE of salt. Then you do the hokey-pokey and you turn yourself around,

thats

what

it’s

all

about!”

I was about to launch across the desk in a firey fury at that point.

So-

As I’m headed to Subway, fuming about work, fuming about “volunteering,” and fuming about ordering 56 different variations of the same sandwich, and all I can say is (and I have no idea where it came from or what it means, but trust me- it made sense at the time):

“I’m starving and I’m pissed. I can go without the food, but not without the pissed. That’s right- I’d like an order of ‘pissed’, please!”

Who knows what I was thinking. All I know is that I totally laughed at myself for being such a weirdo.

By the way- they don’t serve that at Subway.