You would think I was harvesting octuplets for barren parents or something.

I am on a ravenous rampage, taking out all around me- small children with candy, old ladies with bran muffins.... I have no prejudices! It is taking all that is in me to refrain from grabbing large handfuls of cookies and shoving them whole down my mouth. I don’t quite know what the deal is, but I have had the appetite of an adolescent boy in puberty the last two days.

I’ve been like an animal. I should be featured on the Jeff Corwin Experience or something. Maybe even Crocodile Hunter. “Now mate. Look at that female go! Step away! She’s eating swallowing that sandwich whole! She almost took my bloody hand off as I fed it to her!”

Okay, if you’ve read long enough you know that I can eat, but these last 2 days have been different. I don’t know if its because I was sick and now I’m feeling better so my body is hungry again or what. It could be Aunt Flo too. She’s back in full force, very angry that I have been ignoring her calls. I did a major no no. I switched to this new Kuwaiti stuff 3 months ago and purposely skipped the visit 3 times, each for it’s own reason (will’s b-day, trip to Qatar… etc). I know that’s okay to do sometimes, or at least my crazy doctor said that, but I think my body is mad at me, because I have been paying for it with the worlds longest, unplanned, and unwanted cycle. Once again, that lovely Brittny info no one cares or wants to know. Sorry guys.

Okay anyway, I am officially scheduled for a visit today (even though that broad has made herself comfortable and kicked her feet up on my uterus while reading USAToday the whole flipping month), so maybe that has something to do with it.
I have been out of control! I’ve been trying hard to maintain a good diet now that I’m working, but these last few days have been terrible. It’s like my willpower is taking a nose dive or something. I think another big reason is because I work in a building full of shops and yummy things to eat. Let’s see… we have Baskin Robbins, Subway, a coffee shop… the smells fill the whole building, which is beyond enticing. Not only that, but behind my building there is a taco bell, burger king and about 50 million other things. I feel like shoving cotton up my nose so I won’t be tempted by the aromas. I haven’t given in, except I do have Subway or Taco Bell for lunch, staggering days between that and a Meal on the Go bar.

Peer pressure is huge too. I was convinced I would eat a Subway salad for lunch yeterday. I almost wrote a freaking memorandum and had it notarized so it was set in stone. My new friend calls and asks me out to Taco Bell and I fold like a 7th grader’s note asking out the band guy. I don’t know what my problem is. I think another thing is my new schedule. I eat breakfast at around 4:25. I am so ready to take out an all-you-can-eat buffet all on my own by 10:00. I should probably keep a snack in my desk- but we don’t have desks yet so I am literally at a long brown table. It’s really sad. Anyway, I eat lunch and then when I get home I am ready to tear the whole house down. I really need to get myself adjusted to my new schedule.

Last night I came home and had a brownie. Then I had 2 pieces of thin crust cheese (yum, my favorite pizza ever), a few spoonfuls of leftover homemade mac and cheese… and then I sat down and ate half a dozen cookies drowned in milk. I didn’t even bat an eye at the time, but afterwards I looked at the horrifying rampage I had went on and thought, “This better be Flo.”

Anyway, I also wonder if it has something to do with the low dosage of hormones I’m on. It’s the lowest on the market- they don’t even manufacture it in the states (which isn’t very comforting ot me). So, maybe that is a factor, or maybe that is me rationalizing (it’s probably just me rationalizing). Whatever it is, it shocked me the last 2 days. Once again, giving you all lots of unwanted information.

Sorry.

Food has been on my brain this week.

I had my mom and sister rolling yesterday. I was telling them I was so hungry yesterday that I was even daydreaming about food.

“I had mozzerella sticks and then 5 cheese fettuccini.”

“Where did you go, Britt?”

“Johnny Carinos.”

“Then Will and I split a canoli… and turtle cheesecake.”

I guess you had to be there…

Yes ladies, not only am I weird, but I am crazy. I wasn’t joking about my appetite! I am kicking that crap to the curb tomorrow and going back to normal, darn it. I went to the gym for the first time since I started work and it nearly kicked my butt. Sorry guys, but I’m sorting my male-like desires for french fries and Lord know what else out!



As for other things, Will got a new ride- sort of. Everyone shares cars here, but he was signed for a Pajero that is crimson. It’s the Sooner Mobile now. Despite their terrible record, we’ll drive it with pride. He came home early last night which made me so happy. That rarely happens, so it was a surprise. We watched some news, and then of course Sportscenter. We were debating whether or not to watch a King of Queens, but we opted for sleep instead. We’ve become that boring couple you all talk about.

“They never have any fun!”

” They are such sticks in the mud!”

On weekends we get out and do stuff, but weeknights are reserved for showers and sleep. In bed by 8:30. We sound like your 7 year old niece, don’t we? Oh well.

I am really making myself seem bad aren’t I? Some crazy girl that eats cookies and milk like its cereal and then goes straight to bed so she can congeal in my tummy and butt 10 minutes later.

What a goof. Enjoy your last day off