Because I'm Terrible at Scrapbooks

The Fruit Debate, Crazy Rides, Holy Police, and Vacation Momentum

Today is long! I went on entirely too long, and I even cut some stuff out!This is pretty much a minute by minute recap of my whole trip, just so I can look back and tell myself I didn’t totally hate my first few months here, so I’m sorry it if is mind numbing today!

August 27, 2005

I’m beyond angry right now. Will and I “splurged” and got the internet in our room, but it won’t let me post. How irritating.

I’m fully convinced that the first few hours of a vacation are crucial in a relationship. The first few hours set the tone for the first day, and maybe even the whole trip!

Okay, like- how did you wake up? Was it super early and you both stayed up too late cramming the shirt that you HAD to have but will probably never wear into you over-packed suitcase?

Are you running late and rushed? This could create attitude conflicts.It could also leave Will very annoyed, and if we’re both late, it just puts everyone in a bad mood!

Is it hot (this is my issue)? Are you waiting outside with the luggage (after being rushed) with the sun pounding on your head while your husband goes out back to get the car!? Being hot puts me in a terrible mood. It is crucial that I do not let it get to me during the “mood setting” hours.

What about the drive there? This can be just as important as climate for setting the vacation aura. Is your spouse driving like the plane leaves in 20 minutes, leaving your body to be pressed against the seat because of all the G Forces? “We have to make good time!” We have to make what!? We are leaving 2 hours early. I would say that can be considered “good time.”

What about missing your exit?

Twice.

“Sorry. I can’t believe I did that… again.” (but I’ll make up for it by driving my Camry like it’s a Vet).

Also, how far away are you parking? The closer the better… but this rule was thrown out today. “I LOVE lugging my bag 4.5 miles to the entrance.” These are all crucial factors.

Will: “Do you know where to check in?”

Brittny: “Yeah, I think it’s over there.”

Will: walking a different way than “there.“

“I thought you said you knew where we were going.”

“I DID! You went a different way!”

All of these factors, occurring in the beginning hours of a trip have the potiential to set the vacation momentum. These were the many factors Will and I faced this morning, and although there was opportunity to get snippy, we did very well.

I did, however get the “talk” about being more responsible and not so careless. I then got defensive and went on and on about how responsible I was… only to unknowingly have my ticket fall out of my lap and onto the floor as I “carefully” headed to the bathroom none the wiser. Thank goodness for Will! So much for being responsible.

I think “early vacation momentum stress” is a universal thing, and after watching other couples while we waited for our plane, I quickly learned that vacation tension knows all regions. I couldn’t understand a single word these couples were saying, but I didn’t need to. The nonverbals said it all. My best bet was that she was running late this morning, making him mad. He said something stupid about it, and she unleashed on him- probably about all his annoying habits, like leaving his full of stains dish dash (their long white robe- not positive on the spelling) on the floor, and never putting the lid down when he used the bathroom. I was glad that Will and I had made it through vacation round one unscathed.

***You go through a million metal detectors in the Kuwait airport, but I’m totally convinced that you could load your pockets with coins and your carry on with Swiss army knives and they’d never say a thing. I watched at 3 different spots how the x-ray watcher guy payed little attention, and how at one he was busy talking to someone as bags slid on through.

“Kuwait Air: Keeping you Safe One Metal Detector at a Time.“

So today Will and I flew on the best airline either of us had been on- remember it was one of the three 5 star airlines. ha ha. Anyway, Qatar air was very enjoyable , and I can see why it ranked so high. They didn’t play scary music, like Kuwait Air which was an instant plus. They had flat screens on every other seat, so that was nice. I do have to say, the snack was a let down. I guess they were too fancy for the simple Oklahomns. smile

After our short flight, I was once again greeted by the friendly lady that said “Welcome to Qatar where it is humid as a rainforest and hot as hell.” She wasn’t kidding. We got our stuff and got a taxi. So far, I have to say Qatar beats Kuwait. They have lush green grass everywhere. It is so beautiful. Doha, Qatar is truly an oasis in the desert. They are gearing up for the Asian Games next fall, so stuff is going up everywhere.

*** Well, as I had said earlier, our hotel was more expenxisive than we would have liked (little sidenote: this is a trip I have to take, so it wasn’t a planned vacation or anything and it wasn’t something we were financially planning for. So while this is a trip for us, it is actually something I had to do and learned about a week ago. The trip away with Will is just the bonus). There were limos and BMW 700 series pulling up to let off guests, and here comes me and Will, rollin’ up in our tiny Honda taxi.

We clearly stand out as we walk in. There are lots of older Westerns, and Arabs, but then here comes the young and Casper white Will and Brittny! I wanted to stay, “Yes, we are in the right place! Stop staring!” We get our stuff and ask a few questions and head to our room.

We get there and I have to go to the bathroom-bad (the fact that I have a bladder the size of an 80 year old doesn’te help the matter). I try to turn on the lights but nothing happens. Will and I try over and over, flipping the switch real fast, then real slow, and a million other techniques (yeah, because it’s all in the tecnhique… if a light doens’t turn on, you just flip the switch differently and it will work) to no avail.

“Surely they aren’t all burned out!”

This goes on for like 5 minutes and finally we, the young Clampett Americans call for help. Apparently you have to insert your card key in this slot fot the lights to work.

What you you doing! Are you just making up stupid stuff to look fancy!? Well, you look fancy and we look stupid! What a dumb idea- stick you card there and the lights work. They obvisouly don’t know I’m the most scatterbrained person in the world and there is no way I will remember to take my key with me unless its in my purse, and not in some “make the lights work in the bathroom” slot.

Enough about that! Our room is very nice.

I totally had a food crisis the first 10 minutes here. There is a yummy basket of fruit, calling to me on the table. I say, “I think it’s free.” Will says, “I think it’s not.” Go figure we would say different things.

Did I say we looked too young to be here? Maybe it’s too unrefined, though I think we know our etiquette and manners.

I text P and all she writes back is: LMAO! Call the front desk! Right. So they can hang up and say, “You’ll never guess what the Americans in 111 just said!” So, the fruit thing is up in the air, but I think I’m toing to have an apple anyway. I’ll show them!

Today was mostly spent getting here and figuring out the internet in out room. It’s from our tv, so it can’t do everything a a computer can- like post! The main reason we got it was for Will’s fantasy draft (talk about timing- in all the weeks out of the year our random trip and fantasy draft fall together). Will spent a chunk of the afternoon on our draft, which kind of put me in a bad mood. I felt bad because our “first hours momentum” kept getting better, and then it came to a stop. I really did need to shut my mouth, but it was too late. Like I said, I needed to realize our $ situatuion for this trip, plus the fact that this draft is so important to Will- maybe even more important since we are so far away from football this year. Anyway, that was a litlle hiccup.

After Will did fantasy stuff the plan was to go to Arbys and a grocery store to pick up water. We went down to ask about a taxi, and all the hotel provides were limos, which is not really how we wanted to spend out money. Talking taxis was a mess. “No thank you. We don’t want a limo. We just want a taxi,” we said a million times.

What we should have been saying was, “Look. We don’t want your freakin’ limo! We are on a budget and want a piece of crap to drive us around. Do you think you can find a piece of crap!?”

We ended up going with this rental service in the hotel and had the guy drop us off at the City Center, where we could do everything we needed. The City Center is the largest mall in the Middle East, and the 7th largest in the world. It was great. We mostly just went to say we have been there. There is an ice rink on the bottom floor, which is funny to think that in the middle of the desert there is ice. I guess you all need to own up to your, “when hell freezes over” bets, because it has happened! Kuwait has one too, but I’ve never seen it. 

We walked around a little. We went to the third floor there where was a movie theatre and little amusement park and got dinner, and then desert at TCBY. We walked around and slowly made our way to the grocery store. That was semi-stressful!

First off, I find one or two grocery stores I line and that is where I always go. because I know where eveyrthing is. Going here was all new! Plus it was super busy, which didn’t help as I bumped into everyone and their five children. “I just want some granola bars and some water!!!! That’s it! Is that to much to ask! Why don’t you label your aisles!!“ That is what I wanted to scream after about 10 minutes.

We got our stuff and grabbed a taxi and went back to the hotel. I got around for bed and put on their fluffy, cushy robe and decided that no matter what the real purpose of this trip- business or pleasure, I am going to have a good time.

August 28, 2005

This morning I woke up to a major surprise! A huge head of curly hair! Ugh. I tried so hard to make sure it would stay straight- to no avail. It is so humid everywhere. Our sunglasses are constantly fogging from walking inside to outside. Will and I got around and ordered room service for lunch. It was really good and I’m glad we did. I was starving and totally attacked my sandwich. Poor thing.

After that , Will got online to check his draft while I sat around. We have a tour of the city scheduled for 3, so hopefully it will be fun.

** Back again! Our tour was pretty cool. It was supposed to be 4 hours, but we cut it down to 2- thankfully! I think Will would have died! The emir of Qatar is trying to give his country lots of good PR. I mean, how many people can point to a blank map and find Qatar? His goal is to make Qatar a country people know, hence the good airline and hosting the Asain games.

750,000 people live in Qatar, and only 250,000 of them are Qataris! How crazy! The rest are TCNs, like in Kuwait. They are also rich because of oil. One liter of gas costs you 25 cents! Doesn’t that make you sick!?

Unlike Kuwait, drinking is allowed here- only in the desert and hotels. How they moniter this… I have no idea. The driving is just as bad- just imagine Kuwait, with a few drinks knocked back.

Horse and camel racing are a big deal here, and another propular pastime is falcon hunting. They take the falcons in the desert to hunt for game. They are very expensive and can cost up to $20,000! The guide took us to a falcon souq. It was so incredible! There were about 25 falcons, and they all had eyecovers on so they weren’t disctracted. They were hooked on perches, but totally out in the open. I asked for a picture, and this old man, clad in his dish dash and red headcover (meaning he had been to Mecca) went up on the platfrom where the falcons were and told me and Will to get up there and take our picture! It was so crazy! I was less than a foot form these powerful birds and it was amazing.

After that they took us to the camel market. The are popular for racing, but they are also eaten, especially during Rammadan. We saw a million other things, but I am getting tired of writing!

Tonight we decided to be lazy and get comfy. We ordered room service and watched You’ve Got Mail for the millionth time. The fruit thing is still up in the air, but tomorrow I think I’m going to make it my breakfast. smile Its not like its caviar or something! Its a Lebanese banana!

August 29, 2005

I had a good day today! I wish vacation lasted forever. I wish everyday was vacation. People may say, “Well then is it really vacation?” I’m willing to find out.

Will and I woke up about the same time and left the lights off. He checked his league, while I lay in bed wishing I could go back to sleep.

We ate a late breakfast.. and I ended up being a “rebel” and having a banana out of “the” frust basket. ha ha. what a goof.

We watched some TV and finally decided to get around. We called a “normal people” taxi to take us to the city center just to get out and about.

They have about a thousand athletic clothing/shoe stores, and about a million baby clothing/furniture/everything else your kid needs stores. I guess that’s because all women do here is reproduce 5 kids and then spend the rest of their lives chasing their little ones around, hence the demand for atheletic shoes. smile

I saw the funniest thing and am kicking myself that I didn’t get a picture! They have an abbaya Barbie! I love Barbie, and collected them up until my 2nd year of college (totally dork, I know). Maybe I should clairfy- I didn’t play with them, I just collected some of them… am I making sense? I probably sound totally weird. I hope you know what I mean! Anyway… back to the matter at hand...She had her long, black outfit, but she also came with a “regular” outfit- with a head scarf to go with it of course! Pretty crazy. I always wanted the teacher or singer or model Barbie. These girls want the Barbie with the stroller included (totally joking). I guess that is a cultural thing, and the way different groups are taught.

We ended up watching Bewitched in their theatre. The “new” movies in Qatar are just as behind as in Kuwait. I think Will may have fallen asleep through it. It was pretty cheesy, but cute. I love Nicole Kidman. After the movieI drove Will crazy for the next half hour twitching my nose and tugging my ear, and making the sound effects whenever Samantha moved her nose. After the move we had dinner… and TCBY. As I was walking ot the table I got a text telling me my visa was in. I was excited, but my elation quickly turned to reality. “It’s here.” I am officially required to be a responsible adult. My puppy dog days are over. :(

We walked around some more and decided to get a taxi and head to the hotel. As we waited Will looked at me in utter disgust and said, “You have a booger hanging out of your nose.”

Great. Thanks sweetie for the sickly look.

“It’s one of those that you can’t fix until you get alone.” Even better.

I got my mirror out and he was totally right. Something about living in the desert makes the whole nose situation very bad. I won’t gross you all out.

I tried sniffing really hard… nothing. I did this for 3 or 4 minutes as Will aimlessly tried to get us a taxi.

“It’s because I have a booger huh!!!?”

We waited and waited (good thing it wasn’t humid or hot or anything! <--- sarcasm!!)

Finally 2 pull up. A nice one, and one that looks like 30 drunk Qataris piled in and decided to take this tiny 1980 toyota camel tipping.

It, of course, stops for us.

It was because of my snot. I’m totally convinced.

Do we have an aura that screams we are hicks from Oklahoma or something!? Did our hotel send you as a joke!?

We hop in and I begin praying. As we are listening to Britney Spear’s “Toxic“, the only think I keep thinking about was that she must have written this song after riding in this orange taxi and breathing the stench. I will now forever associate this song with tonight’s ride.

As I tried to buckle up I realized Safety is about as important as writing your favorite detergent company to tell them how great they make your clothes smell… it’s that big a deal here.

I pull and pull and get nothing but a small strap. The buckle is trapped somwehere. I am panicking! I don’t want to die in a toxic orange taxi!

I thought I’d say something, but he was driving like a bat out of hell and the strange crackling and ricketing sounds from the bottom of the car- probably very important parts- were deafening and I’m sure if I would have said something he wouldn’t have cared anyway. I stick my arm in the strap- because that was going to hold me in if something happened!

What a ride.

I do have to say it was our cheapest ride yet.

I wonder why…

So, tomorrow ends our trip. Sigh.

I start my new life Sunday. Sigh.

At least I’ll have a few days to get myself together.

August 30,2005

Last night I could hardly breathe before finally drifting to sleep. I kept waiting for the front desk to call saying there was a disturbance.

I lay there, flat on my back, my eyes wide open, staring at the blank ceiling.

You would have thought I robbed a bank or something and I drove to the nearest warehouse to wait out the search.

Will and I are typically not extremely unruly or overly loud love makers. I guess you could put it this way: we wouldn’t be the ones you’d whisper about at the neighborhood association meetings. I don’t know if it was the fact that for the last 3 1/2 months we have had to play “beat the clock my parents are in the kitchen and can probably hear,” or the fact that it was the last day of vacation andwe were going to have to go back to living with my parents and being sneaky,(I think it was the first factor), but we morphed into different people or something. We weren’t “yelly” or anything, but around midnight the wall against our bed took a beating, leaving our neighbors to pound back on the wall- I’m sure that is a universal “shut up” signal.

I was freaked out that the “Holy Muslim Police” were going to storm our room last night and make Will and I stay in different places. Today it sounds funny and silly, last night I was freaking out!

* * *

So, our trip is over. So sad. I am totally resolved to believe end of vacation attitudes are just as crucial as the start of vacation momentum. We woke up fine and called in b-fast- and I ate way too much. We casually got around and did our room check- 4 times.

“Are you sure you have everything, Britt? We won’t be able to come back if you forget something. Did you check the bathroom?

The table?

The… the.. the..”

He does this a million times because he is convinced I will realize something I forgot- me being the scatterbrained one. The joke was on him today though.

We left the hotel and caught a taxi- much better than last night’s.

I totally cracked up on the way to the airport. They were playing filthy music- with the “F” work as the main noun, verb, adjective and everything in between. Amazing. They won’t show a kissing scene in the public movie theatre, and you can’t wear shorts, but you can say the F bomb all day long. Only in the Middle East. The FCC would have had a heart atatck had that been said in America. How funny.

We got to the airport-the super tiny Doha airport, and grapped a seat to wait to check in.

I thought I was at a college frat party after about 5 minutes. There were 3 older men, clad in togas!! How crazy! Were they being serious? I think they might have been. I didn’t know people still wore togas!

I was waiting any second for 30 fat guys with huge beer bellies to roll in a keg and a funnel, and start taking body shots off the women- all vieled and in their black abbayas. ha ha. What a strange thought.

We had been sitting for a few minutes when my daily birth control alarm went off on my phone (did I way I was scatterbrained? These last 3 months of being “scheduleless” have left me so forgetful that I have to remind myself to breathe). Anyway, all of a sudden Will asks, “Where’s my phone?”

Great.

Mr. Responsible forgot something. Who knows what I’ve left behind. We begin searching. Here is a good rule to live by: if you search for something for longer than 15 minutes- there is a good chance it is not in the spot you are searching.

Then, the “male” in Will comes out and he tries to put it all on the bonde. Ha- I don’t think so!

“I really thought I handed it to you.”

“No, Will. You didn’t.”

“Check your purse again.”

My purse can barely hold tic-tacs- your phone is not there!

We search more and finally Will says “I have to go back.”

I don’t like “I.”

“I” is bad. It refers to one person- not “we.” He is basically telling me, “sit here with the toga guy and make sure our bags are okay while I go back to the hotel to find my phone.”

I was so nervous to be left alone with the ancient frat boys. I thought I was going to have to purchase a bag of Depends. I did just fine, though I did sit next to a pair of 5 year old twins that made me reconsider my entire opinion of children all together.

Will came back , phoneless, so that was a disappointment. I know he was sort of bummed about it because not only was he going to have to hear about it, but he was also going to have to pay for it. I decided not to give him the responsible talk.

We sat around the airport for a while and ate at A&W… and then TCBY… again (we don’t have on herein Kuwait). After that we went to our gate- but I first had to go through a metal detector. I had went through the first one just fine- actually, I set it off and no one said a word! That makes you feel good! I wasn’t joking about no one paying attention!

Anyway, I walked through this time and it went off and the army guy- who didn’t speak english, angrily said, “go.”

Go? Where?

He motioned towards this cold steel door.

“Go.”

Holy crap. What is behind that door!? Are they going to strip search me? I really don’t want to go behind the door . God help us all.

I went in and this old lady frisked me and used a hand held detector- it was my belt. I could have told her that, but she was the “behind the steel door” metal nazi, so I just shut up and let her do her job. I’m glad that is over.

We got to our gate and hung around. We finally were able to board. It is so amazing here. They don’t have terminals since the airport is so small, so they bus everyone out to the plane. You would have thought the people flying with us were told there was an all you can eat buffet on the plane because they were pushing and shoving like not only was there a buffet, but it was also free. It was frustrating but sort of humerous.

After we fought our way to our seats- we breathed a sign of relief. Sort of. We were in the very back of the place and were the only westerners in a 20 seat radius. The plane was hot and it smelled terrible. I had flashbacks to “toxic” and my night in the taxi. It was pretty gross. All Will kept saying was, “This is so ghetto.” He was pretty accurate. thankfully it is a short flight. I wished we would have flew Kuwait Air to Doha and Qatar air on the way back… wishful thinking.

We got in and I got my visa stamped and everything else I had to do. The Gauntlet wasn’t too bad tonight. It was a nice change. I am always expexcting pandemonium so was surprised last night.

We got in to find out a million morsels of crappy news, but I won’t get into everything because it will take way to long and I’ve talked way to much about stupid things that don’t really matter that much! smile So, that was our trip. you probably feel like you went along you know so much. I guess I overdid it a bit. smile That shouldn’t be a surprise though.

Thanks for sticking through! Have a great day. <3

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About

brittny I'm B-Love. Lover of God, my husband Will, my doggies, OU football, weight training, plyometrics healthy eating (mostly!), peanut butter, and all things health related. Buckle up and get ready for my constant embarrassing moments, health and fitness tips,and my effort to rely on Christ while living life in the real world. Follow me on Feedly! Sign up for monthly emails at blove@theblovelife.com!


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