Do you remember that game?

Will and I played a feisty round this morning.

Actually, it was more like 7 rounds.

That’s right.

49 minutes in heaven.

Will is a stud.

Oooohhhhhh yyyeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.

This is how it went:

“Beep Beep Beep Beep”

SLAM.

Elapsed time: 7 minutes.

“Beep Beep Beep Beep”

SLAM.

Elapsed time: 7 minutes.

Repeat 5 more times.

That’s right, 49 minutes in Heaven with my sweet Will.

What better way to spend a morning?

What did you have in mind?

Actual love making in the morning?

Please.

We know what’s important in a marriage and it’s adequate sleep!

Ha ha, okay. Just kidding, but this morning we both preferred the rules of this game compared to the traditional way.

The alarm was set for 3:15 with the mutual understanding we could hit the snooze once and be up by 3:22.

Sidenote- Who in their right mind gets up at 3:!5 to go to a job they don’t even really like!?

Who does that!?

Who!!!!??????!

I’ll tell you who!

NO ONE!

No one in their right minds gets up in the middle of the night to go to work. There has to be something seriously wrong with people who live this way. Anything before 6:30 is just plain rude. Don’t you agree?

Okay, back to the matter at hand.

3:30 rolls around and I barely budge. Will groggily rolls over and violently attacks the crap out of our alarm. I don’t think he meant to slam it 37 times, but he did. I’m surprised it went off again.

We didn’t get out of bed until 4:10. I was in a panic.

We jumped in the shower. I felt like I was in army basic training. “Go Go Go! 2 Minutes! 2 Minutes! 2 Minutes!” I just knew that any second a muscular and menancing drill sergeant was going to rip open the shower curtain and give me a dreaded pink belly while simultaneously flushing the toilet.

Anyway, a strange thing happens to me when I’m feeling rushed. For whatever reason, when I’m in a hurry to get ready, my nose starts to run out of the blue and uncontrollably. Isn’t that weird!?

I don’t know if it’s because I’m rushing around and snorting and breathing like I’m Sea Biscuit or what, but I snot all over the place. When this occurs, I do what any normal person would do (ha).

I stick toilet paper up my nose to catch the flow. Yep. That’s right. I have a walrus sort of thing going on but instead of huge white spears coming out of my mouth, they’re coming out my nose.

I know you’re wondering how hot it makes Will. Trust me, he can’t keep his hands off me when I’ve got my walrus look (ha again).

So today as I rushed I was Brittny the Walrus.  I had one nostril under control, but when the second one started to flow I really thought to myself, “I’m sitting here, trying to do my hair, sweating like a pig, with Quilted Northern Shoved up my nose.”

There comes a point in every woman’s life after playing 7 minutes in Heaven when they simply question their dignity.  I did just that as I aggressively brushed my teeth while trying to keep the tissue from sticking to the toothbrush.

Oh I feel so dirty.

Who am I?

So I started off the morning a little rushed- and still debating whether the extra sleep was really a good idea.

I got to work and decided that after the “rushy” morning I should get breakfast at the mess hall and bring it back to my office. I was all set and good to go. I was enjoying my breakfast and checking my email when all of a sudden a piece of my egg white omellete fell in slow-mo, plummeting between the H and the G of my keyboard. “BAM,” it resounded as it bounced in between keys. I let out a slow motion, “Nooooooooo” as I watched my breakfast lodge itself into the black abyss. I tried my best to dig it out to no avail.

I hate- HATE- a dirty keyboard. It drives me bananas (B-A-N-A-N-A-S). I can’t stop thinking about it. It has consumed my thoughts all day. I’ve tried everything. Even those air dusters. I’m afraid my breakfast is destined to remain trapped In GH forever.  How gross.

So that was my morning:

Oversleeping,

snotting all over myself,

dropping my omelette between G and H.

Yep. That’s about right. Sounds like another typical day in my life.

In other news, the current rumor at our camp is that OPRAH is coming next week. Apparently one of the ladies in our office thinks she’s coming because she wrote her and asked her to come visit. Now, who knows if this is true, but apparently it’s even been in the papers. I won’t believe it until I see her for myself. Rumors are constantly circulating about stuff like that since so many famous people are in and out for the soldiers. Anyway, I’m counting it as rumor, but to be safe I’m bringing my camera everyday next week. J

I am having quite possibly the funniest work day ever. My mom, dad, and I are all three way emailing and it is cracking me up. My mom just called me and couldn’t even talk. All she was doing was laughing, which made me bust out laughing- which was embarrassing because my office was quiet. Oh my gosh. I wish I could put the emails in here but I can’t. Trust me, I’m in tears from holding back hysterical laughter.

So that’s it for now.  Your walrus friend is going to get back to work.