Do you speak another language?

Are you quick at translatng?

Would you like to become well traveled and see a different part of the world?

Then you, yes YOU are encouraged to join the dynamic, ever changing, never a dull moment CrazyGirlInc.

We here at CrazyGirlInc. feel you are more than capapble of taking on the duties necessary in carrying out the company’s mission: to keep Brittny Lynne’s head together and make sure she does not fall apart. Yes, I know this task seems far too big for just one person, but we believe you are more than capapble of rising to the occasion.

Interested?

Then you have a job spending your every waking moment with me, translating the gibberish I hear everday! Okay, so the beginning was totally dorky, but what do you expect by now!?

A couple days ago I was in a situatuion in which these ladies were speaking their native language- of course I have no idea what they are saying, and for that matter, I don’t even know what language they were speaking all together- but I think it was something I should have known. It was one of those bad feelings I got as I heard a few key words.

The lady I ride to work with is from a different country. On top of that, she moved to britian and is a citizen of the UK- so she is a ________ (WPP protected) with a British accent. So- she has 2 accents going on. She is great, but I have a hard time understanding the asdfjsdklfjkljf (that mess represents the language, that is what my stupid interpretation) with random Enligh words thrown in, not to mention when she is just speaking English period.

I feel bad constantly saying,

“What?”

What?”

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Once more time please?”

I seriously try really hard to listen, and I know she is trying hard to get me to understand but sometimes it doesn’t work.

Anyway, today she had to pick up one of her friends and on the way to work they start talking whole sentences mixed with English and their other language. That’s fine by me, I’m just along for the ride so it didn’t bother me at all. However, a few minutes into our ride I hear “sdfja;sdlfjksjd… the safety concern.” Okay, so I don’t understand “a;ksjiouer,“ but I understand safety concern, and not only that, but THE safety concern. There’s a safety concern? what safety concern? I try to hear more, but all I get is, “ s;dfjeurwoeiru,” and then bomb threat.

Okay, I’m no rocket scientist or even masters degree grad for that matter, but hearing the words “THE safety threat and bomb threat” within two minutes of eachother had me feeling like I just ate 50 Snickers bars and rode It’s a Small World 86 times at Disneyworld (I had a bad experience). The blood drained from my face.

Then!

Then!

Guess what happes next!!!?

THEN I hear, “aslfjweoriu Britney Spears.”

Followed by:

“ha ha ha ha ha ha ha,” An erruption of laughter.

Hmmm, do you think that was in reference to a paticualr person? Like the blonde in the back seat?

Nah…

I’m just paranoid.

So I really need to learn a language here. There is so much diversity here. I have truly enjoyed getting to lear about the many cultures here. It is very interesting, but it also makes most Americans feel pretty “normal.“ I know few people that can speak any of the many languages that are spoken here. So many different nationalities live here and they all speak their own language and I have no clue. My high school and college intro to German have done me No good.

Okay, so I am now trying to link the last 5 minutes of my ride as I’m regretting the bottle of water I had earlier that morning. I have a bladder the size of an 85 year old woman and when I get all nervous (I usually get all worked up about nothing!) I gotta go. Okay, THE safety concern. I’m an “analyzer” as it is anyway, so there could be absolutely NOTHING going on at all, and I would be fully convinced that there was a full scale evacuation of the entire country later that afternoon. In fact, my mind wandered there. Hmmm, I wonder if I’ll have time to grab some extra underwear, deoderant, oh yeah… and our pictures (you have to get the “important” stuff you know. ha ha) Bomb threat? How does that tie in? I don’t think that’s really the pertinent question. All I know is that it does. Now, what about that crazy Britney Spears? That silly girl. What is she up to? I had quite a ride wondering what they were really saying as the conversation switched from the country’s evacuation that day to “Britney Spears.” Okay, so I’m sure it was about the baby, but one of the ladies had called me Britney Spears last week, so I had to wonder. What!!? Is it because I’m freakin’ blonde and pale as Casper and look like a freak here!? --> whole other post. Now I’m just being flat annoying.

Anyway, the ride was Its a Small World All Over Again.  So, I’m taking offers for translators to hang around each day. I promise I would be a good employer. All I know is that Britney Spears is the huge safety concern in Kuwait and she is making bomb threats. You’d think with the whole just giving birth to Kevin’s third child thing would have slowed her down.

Guess not.

To inquire about positions in CrazyGrilInc. click the feedback button below and someone will get back to you shortly. We are an equal opportunity employer, meaning we will review all applications, even those who are not “crazy” like our CEO.

Yes, it is official. I am going crazy.

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