I'm Mrs. Oh My Gosh That Brittny's Shameless

Part One (?)

After days of talks, weeks of misery, and months of frustration Will and I decided he will not renew his contract this coming May.

I’m sorry- do you need me to pick you up off the floor?

Wave a Snickers Bar under you nose to jolt you back to reality?

I don’t know how to properly begin this post because there are times in which I think I will be writing similar “life altering” posts like this one in the near future, so I don’t really know what to say aside from I feel sort of all over the place.

So up and down.

Like I just ate a bunch of Texas-Sized chili cheese fries and got on the Titan rollercoaster at Six Flags.

I feel good that I can honor Will and support him by “allowing” him not to renew. At the same time it’s got me stressed about the future too.

Are we going?

Are we staying?

What’s going to happen next?

I would hate it if we moved.

I would love it if we moved.

Like I said- all freaking over the place.

I think it’s pretty obvious that since he’s quit, staying in Kuwait is not going to remain a long-term goal any longer (unless of course something really good comes available in Kuwait outside of where I am working now).

Guys, want some insight to my heart?

I honestly have no idea how I feel.

There are times when I miss America and the regular everyday life we don’t have here, but there are so many things I love about the situation we’re in right here, right now in Kuwait.

Back in 2005, when we first moved here, I had a hard time adjusting to things here. Soon after arriving, I compiled a 10 page list of things I missed about home- a list I still have. I pulled it out the other day and it made me realize that I really do miss home. Whenever I read it I can’t get through it without tears. However, I could easily write the same list about things I love and would miss about life in Kuwait.

I feel so confused and torn. Kind of like Sabrina. Do you remember that movie? That’s where I got my first kiss- at Sabrina. Anyway, Sabrina was forced to choose between two men- both of which were great. What a predicament right? I guess I can empathize with Sabrina on some level. I know no matter where we are we’ll find happiness, but at the same time my heart hurts to think about change.

Change.

That is a hard thing for me to deal with at times. I guess it’s the reality of change. I’ve known all along Kuwait was a temporary trip, not our home. I knew that when we first got here- but I had no idea how attached I would become to my life here. Oh Sabrina- why can’t you help me!?

I am trusting God so much to reveal his plans for me. I have been looking for jobs in the States and my prayer is that if we’re supposed to move home than he will work out the details. I may apply to a job or two in Kuwait, but I’m primarily focusing on jobs back home right now. We had only planned to stay 3 years all along, but during our stay we got comfortable and lost sight of that plan. In my heart I wonder if the Lord is creating these waves of change and our restlessness because he knows we’ll just sit here and stay for 3more years if He doesn’t move us some way.

We told my parents and that was hard. They’ve been really supportive so that’s good. It’s just sad because we all know now that the clock is ticking on our time here. I don’t like to think about all that stuff just yet since I’m sort of putting the cart before the horse already, but it does seem as though God might be moving us home sooner than we were ready. Although- are you ever really ready for such big changes??

So that’s my big news. Well sort of big news. We’re still here and unsure about where God may take us right now. Just keep us in your prayers and I will definitely keep you guys updated on where we’re headed whether it’s Timbuktu or Tulsa! Ha ha

<3

Oh wow, Brittny.  I had a sneaking suspicion that maybe something like this was in the works, but still, it’s a definite surprise.

I am praying for you, Will, your family and for peace, guidance and direction during this time.  You’re so right in that God will let you know where He wants you to be, whether that be in Kuwait or the US. 

Love,
Erin

ps. did you get my email? I want to be sure I didn’t send it to someone else--they’re probably thinking I’m a weirdo! Ha. smile

Posted by erin  on  04/25  at  04:07 AM

I thinkyou might be right about your comment of God making waves to get things going on your move back.  I have a friend that was going through some rough financial times.  She made a “deal” with God that if he allowed her to stop tithing for a time until she was able to get more on her feet, then once she was able to do it, she would.  Things went perfectly.  She was always able to somehow pay her bills and buy groceries and all that.  But then when the time came that she should have started tithing again, she didn’t.  And things started going bad for her again.  She knew God was reminding her of her promise and He was making her keep her end of the deal.  This may be a situation like that.  God may have said, “alright, I’ll let you live in Kuwait for the three years you originally said but then it’s time to come back.  I have plans for you.” And now He’s making you keep your end of the deal.  You know what happened to Jonah.  Don’t end up in the belly of a “whale” by not listening to God because you’re scared.  (Meaning, don’t let something bad happen to you because you don’t want to step outside of your comfort zone.) I know that if you keep an ear out for God and follow His instruction, you and Will will make the right decision - even if it is hard.  grin

Posted by  on  04/25  at  05:11 AM

I’d say that’s VERY big news.  Yes please, wave a Snickers bar under my nose, and then can I eat it?  Just kidding, well, sort of.  I can’t say that I understand in the least the struggles you are going through, but I do know that you will make a good decision, one that you will be happy with.  I guess one way to look at it is that it’s win-win, lose-lose, either way you go.  Either option has its positives and negatives.  Just try to follow your heart as best you can, even though I know that must be extremely difficult.  You and Will are in my prayers as you try and figure all this out!

Posted by Platinum Rose  on  04/25  at  05:28 AM

HUGE news! I’ll sure be praying for you!

Posted by Brandie  on  04/25  at  05:49 AM

Big change!  You & Will are in my thoughts and prayers!

Posted by Jenn  on  04/25  at  06:29 AM

Oh wow - that IS big news.  I am sure this wasn’t an easy decision for you and Will to make.

I hate change.  Hate, hate, hate it.  When I was little, if something was going to change, my mom had to give me a few weeks notice (you know, like if we were going on holiday’s and had to miss swim practice).  For me to adjust to the change of moving - we bought a condo 11 freaking months before we can move in! haha

I’m praying that God will guide you and Will to where He wants you to be.  I’m praying for you job situation, where ever it is that you might end up.

xoxo,
Angela

Posted by Angela  on  04/25  at  06:54 AM

I think that Will not renewing his contract and you at least looking for something else in either the US or Kuwait is a definite step forward for both of you.  Whether you end up going home or somewhere else, you don’t seem happy with your work-life situation right now.  And why do that to yourself?

Change is hard to deal with, and there’s a lot to work through right now.  But it is entirely possible that when the dust finally settles, you’ll be much happier and in a better situation for you.  And that will make it worth it.

Posted by Ann M.  on  04/25  at  07:05 AM

First, you guys are in my prayers.....as always, but now for a specific reason.

I know that you and Will are so strong in your faith and I know that you have struggled with this for a long time.  I used to hate change, but now I have just learned to accept it because some of us don’t have too much of a choice AND more importantly, I know God is in control.  It’s so much easier to live life that way! 

I’m praying that God’s guidance for you guys si strong and undeniable. 

<3 <3 <3 <3

Posted by  on  04/25  at  07:21 AM

Wow! That’s exciting news---lots of changes. I know God has such an awesome plan for you guys. I’m praying for you both!

Posted by Emily  on  04/25  at  08:12 AM

Wow...It’s even hard for me to wrap my head around you guys not living in Kuwait anymore.  I can’t imagine how crazy this decision must be for you guys.  I’ll definitely be praying for you both.  Change is hard...even if it is change for the better.  When you first moved to Kuwait, I’m sure you had no idea that the possibility of leaving would be this hard for you.  I hope that whatever new opportunities arise for you and Will will help affirm your decision, and I pray that God presents a clear plan for you soon!

Posted by  on  04/25  at  08:32 AM

Here’s one thing I thought of - if you ARE coming back to the US, it’s a good thing for you that housing is a buyer’s market right now… you’re in a great position to find a great house for cheap!  And think about this - the crazy prices in Kuwait have prepared you for the terrible financial situation over here now… our prices are probably pretty close to over there now too!  (sorry for the bad news, but trying to be optimistic from your perspective!)

Anyway - I am proud of you and Will for having the courage to make such a huge decision, not knowing where it will lead.  What a leap of faith.  God will honor that… Just you wait!

Posted by Annie  on  04/25  at  08:56 AM

Brit,
Wow! It’s been awhile since I’ve “checked in” on you, and here it just so happens that you have huge news!
I’m going to pray for you - right now - that God will give both you and Will a peace in your hearts that “passes all understanding” and that He will continue to guide you two as you seek His face!
Thinking of you!

Posted by Cherie  on  04/25  at  10:15 AM

I will pray that God will open up doors where they are to be opened, and clearly close them where they are to be closed.

You are in a tough position...but maybe time will heal and reveal!

Posted by LCP  on  04/25  at  10:15 AM

I’m sorry about all the conflicting feelings, but it maybe means that whatever happens, it will work out.  There are things you love there and things you love here...so you could be happy either way.

I know it’ll be hard to leave your family, though.

But it’ll be nice for WIll to be with his Dad more.

Thinking of you, dear!

Posted by Jesspond  on  04/25  at  11:23 AM

I am praying for ya. Hope that this all becomes clear soon.

Jer 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Posted by Maria D.  on  04/25  at  12:49 PM

Wow.  I don’t even really know you, yet at the same time I feel that I know you so well. 

I have been in your place many times before.  I wish I could tell you something that would make it better for you, but having been there myself I know that there isn’t anything that can be said. 

One day a moment will come and in that moment you will realize so many things, but most of all you will realize the things that you once thought were so important are really so insignificant.  For me, it took nearly five years. 

I wish that I had the strength to tell my story.  But, I don’t. 

Live for today.  Live without regret.

Posted by Dee  on  04/26  at  07:10 PM

What a big decision!  I am sure lots of thought and stress went into it and you will be guided onto your next step.  I hate change too, but most of the time, I wind up pleasantly surprised and I hope you will be too

Posted by  on  04/27  at  05:10 AM

Wow! That is big news! You and Will will be in my prayers.

Posted by Heather  on  04/27  at  03:53 PM

I’ll be praying for you!  Change is certainly a tough thing to deal with.  I was terrified and very unhappy with our move out here to DC.  Now, a few months into it, it’s okay.  I’m definitely ready to get back home, and can’t wait for that(!), but I’m okay with being here for the few years.

Posted by  on  04/27  at  07:49 PM

Eh, that’s not big news. 

grin

Just kidding, it’s really big!  Big like a Big Gulp. 

Thinking of you,
Your mom

Posted by  on  04/28  at  04:27 AM

Wow, what a big decision! I imagine the next several weeks/months will be full of contradicting feelings. Change is always hard, but it always leads to good things. Good luck Sweetie, I’ll be thinking of you both. And hey, maybe one thing to add to the “good things about coming to America list” - we could potentially, finally and at last meet. wink

Posted by Jenny  on  04/28  at  09:13 AM

I know this is an incredibly hard decision for you guys to make. I’m proud of you for not just ignoring the restlessness. That’s so easy to do sometimes, much easier than making big changes. You and Will are in my prayers. I know you have an amazing support system. Hopefully, as you’ve said, everything will fall into place and you’ll know it’s what is meant to be. Hugs! Kristen

Posted by Kristen Miller  on  04/28  at  10:19 AM

It can be so scary when you don’t really know where things are going.  But, like you said, you just have to trust that God has the best plan for you already decided.  He only wants good things for you, so whatever happens will work out!

Plus, if you do end up in Tulsa, you’ll be less than 2 hours away from me smile

Posted by Audrey  on  04/28  at  01:44 PM

My jaw literally dropped to the floor. And then I started whimsically reminiscing thinking about Sabrina. Such a range of emotions in one post!

I hope everything works out for you and Will. Moving is tough, no matter where you go, but I’m sure you guys will be fine. Keep that sense of humor that you got and things will always have that silver lining that we so desperately need in times like these.

Posted by C-Rah  on  04/29  at  05:43 AM

Wow!! I am stunned!!! I take a month off and all kinds of crazy things happen!!

It sounds like you and Will have some pretty important decisions ahead of you!! I am sure whatever is meant to happen will!!

Of course keep us updated!!! Thinking about you guys!!!

Posted by  on  04/29  at  12:11 PM

hey girl! just want you to know i’m praying for you. i know it seems so confusing right now, but things will get much better! just be ready for the open doors that God is going to send your way!!!

P.S....I DID IT! i started a blog! check me out! lol

Posted by Megan H  on  04/29  at  01:31 PM

You are right that change is never easy, even if it is something you are pretty sure you want.  When we moved back to CT, it was a hard several months to readjust.  You are right to follow your heart and know that God will be there to guide you.

Posted by Jenny  on  04/29  at  06:11 PM

definitely thinking of, and praying for you both Britt… HUGS.

Posted by Rusti  on  05/06  at  11:06 AM

About

brittny I'm B-Love. I've just returned to America after spending three years in Kuwait with my husband Mr. B-Love and our two maltese, Boz and Lucy. We recently added two more doggies to our family, Rocky and Teddy. I love weight training, OU football, and lazy weekends. Buckle up and get ready for my constant embarrassing moments, continual madness at a new job, and my daily effort to rely on Christ while adjusting to life back in the real world.


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