Because I'm Terrible at Scrapbooks

One Piece at a Time

Have you ever heard the Johnny Cash song, “One Piece at a Time?”

It’s great.

Basically, it’s about a guy that works in a Cadillac factory and stealthily sneaks out car pieces over the course of a lifetime to build his dream Caddy. Pretty funny.

So here’s where I’m going with this intro.

It is no secret that I sort of let my house go while I was back in school. My nights consisted of pursuing papers rather than pursuing a perfectly aesthetic abode.

Now that I am finished, I am slowly tatking my house back. The problem, however, is that during those two years, Will inflitrated the house!


Let me back up.

Prior to going back to school, there was one room in my house that did not exist

(well… one and a half if you count the Laundry Room Cabinets of Confusion… I literally have a nativity scene, juicer, and tools all in the same cabinet. What does that even mean!? I’m pretty sure the Wise Men are all, “Really Brittny!? What are we going to do with this crap!? We can’t offer Baby Jesus rusty nails!")

But lets refocus on the one room in my house just wasn’t there.

Totally dead to me.

Sure, there was a door, but it gave way to a mystical world. Like a cross between The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and Alice in Wonderland…

only the utter and complete opposite

because instead of being full of splendor and whimsy curiosity it is full of nothing but stacks,

and clutter,

and confusion,

and stacks,

and chaos,

and stacks…

You get it.

I hate this mysterious war-torn land behind the first door in the hallway. However, since it is completely and totally “Will’s Future Man Room and Current MESS,” I was able to overlook it.

And simply push the fact that it even existed out of my mind.

We have a third bedroom?

Weird, I had no idea!

See what I mean?

But sadly Will’s Man Room has expanded into other areas of our house like a bad case of male locker room floor fungus.

It’s bad guys, real bad.

I fear Will might have a small case of hoarder-ism.

I should have picked up on it when we moved him out of his parent’s house prior to getting married.

However, I was 20 and totally blinded by love and able to look past all the dust,

and clutter,

and confusion,

and stacks,

and chaos,

and stacks…

“ Aw, its cute that you’ve saved every single program to every single football game you ever attended!”

Remember those days? Totally love blind?

The thing is, with Will having his own room, I was able to keep the crap harnessed in The Room that Doesn’t Exist.

Only, by some crazy turn of events the spell over the door was broken, allowing the mess to spread itself throughout the land that is the world of B-Love.

Driving the Dutchess of the Manor completely mad!


I’m totally getting into this analogy, right? Oh- and in case you’re wondering, I really would prefer to be a Princess in this crazy made up analogy, but since Kate went Dutchess I feel it can’t be all bad, right?

Will totally took over our office, which makes me sad because I had big plans for our office after finishing school.

Now, however, all my plans consist of is how to balance all the stacks of crap in the room.

It’s like a game of Paperwork Jenga.

So, as I was dusting around a pile of crap from last year, I got to thinking…

“Hmm… I could totally Johnny Cash this place and clean the office one piece of crap at a time!”


In a few short months this place could significantly improve!

The trouble is that Will has the memory of a savant when it comes to a few things- such as OU football and crap he places in “strategic” crannies.

So I think I’m going to have to slow it down… It might take longer than I want, but it will be worth it. A few old pieces of paper here, that stupid traveling ping pong trophy there, and before I know it- the office is far less likely to be featured on Hoarders.

I just need to reevaluate my expectations. I want it all cleaned, but for it to be attainable, I’ll definitely have to leave crap visible so I can encourage Will go address the “mess,” namely full of the paperwork I was too afraid to throw away because it seemed important.

Good idea right?

That’s my action plan. It’s bound to work...right? If it doesn’t, I might just end up going completely mad and entering the door to The Room That Doesn’t Exist never to be seen again!

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brittny I'm B-Love. Lover of God, my husband Will, my doggies, OU football, weight training, plyometrics healthy eating (mostly!), peanut butter, and all things health related. Buckle up and get ready for my constant embarrassing moments, health and fitness tips,and my effort to rely on Christ while living life in the real world. Follow me on Feedly! Sign up for monthly emails at!

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