I'm Mrs. Oh My Gosh That Brittny's Shameless

Monday Confession

I mentioned I recently got a new phone (remember? I was snapping pictures as if Boz were at his first Little League game).

Well, I thought today would be a good time to come clean and confess a daily game I play with my phone.

It’s called “How Many Times Did I Call Al Today!?”

You see, before getting this Nokia I had a Razr. That means all the buttons were protected. Now, however, I have this Nokia and all the buttons are naked and exposed much like Alicia Silverstone in her new PETA commercial, only, I’m pretty sure my phone is a carnivore.

Anyhow, my buttons are all naked and exposed, desperate to make a call- even sneaking behind my back to do so! I have this terrible habit of accidentally pranking people ALL THE FREAKING TIME!

It really sucks to be my friend if your name begins with an A. Seriously.

Okay, okay. I know what you’re thinking- “There’s a LOCK mechanism Brittny.” Yeah, yeah I know. I just don’t use it all the time.I don’t know why.

Don’t ask.

ANYWAY-

Where was I?

I’m accidentally pranking people ALL THE FREAKING TIME!

The first weekend I had my phone I called my coworker Al 23 times. 23 times! That’s crazy!

He’s a newlywed.

I’m sure his wife wants to stab a pencil in the little giggly junior high girl’s eye that

WOULDN’T

STOP

CALLING

HER

HUSBAND!

Can’t say I blame her.

The real bothersome thing was- “Uh- what all did he get to hear those 23 times?”

Talk about making your mind race!

I mean, it’s not like I hold the world’s secrets and get to wear cool 007 gadgets and have “assets” and talk in code or anything- but still!- I don’t want my coworker knowing that I spend an hour trying to decide what kind of deoderant to buy either!

He came into the office the weekend after the 23 million phone call escapade all curious about the bits and pieces of conversation he was privy too.

It’s amazing what you can glue together based on hearing 23 different phone calls. In fact, it’s a little embarrassing. I then had to convince him that Will was not going to be a judge on America’s Next Top Model and yes, I really did eat half a box of Bran Buds in less than a day and the consequences were less than desired.

Try saying that in a professional manner!

Yeah- that was fun.

Ever since that weekend I’ve been better about locking my phone.

However-

I’m still not perfect. I have my phone with me all the time. It’s constantly being shoved in my purse, hiding in my pocket, getting smashed against my hand as I try to hold 7 grocery sacks, unlock the house door, and text message my sister. Accidental phone calls are bound to occur.

Every day I come home and assess how many freaking times I accidentally called anyone whose name begins with the cursed A. Poor souls.

So, I decided to make a game of it. I look back at my records and see how many times I called and try to guess what I was doing at that time and what the person heard.

“Oops! They were in my pocket when I was in the ladies room today.”

“Ha ha, they know I had Subway today!”

“Hmm, I wonder if they got to hear about my theory on pants?”

Yes. I’m beyond nerdy. Hey- it’s Confession Monday though- what did you expect!?

Your turn to fess up. 

I’m reading your blog and I should be working. SHHH!!! Don’t tell!!

Posted by Mrs. M  on  10/01  at  05:59 AM

Adam’s aunt used to do that to us all the time!!  Sometimes it was the home phone, other times my cell phone.  We have both ends of the alphabet taken care of, so we’re victims of the prank call all the time:(

Posted by  on  10/01  at  06:32 AM

Ah yes, the prank phone calls.  My mom got one from me the day I picked up Greg from the airport from his last deployment.  She said that I left a 15 minute long message.  I know that we were wandering around cursing at the airport because the place we had to go was about as far from everything as possible, and I was all chatty and giggly.  I can just imagine what my mom heard!  Good thing they have a really crappy answering machine.

Posted by Ann M.  on  10/01  at  07:10 AM

So funny!  You know that sometimes my husband will hit a button on his phone without knowing & call me.  Everytime I tell him that his phone called me again, he’s like, “No, I didn’t call you!”...he never believes me.  OR, if I call him & it goes straight to voicemail, I’ll say “Hey, I called you & you didn’t pick up!” & he’s always like, “No, you didn’t. I don’t have a missed call!”.  Ugh.

Posted by Robin  on  10/01  at  07:42 AM

As an “Amanda” i get all kinds of juicy accidental calls.  I hate the lock too, so I put AAAA in my phonebook and put my cell# on it.  So i just call my own voicemail by accident.  Sure, it happens around 50 times a week, but at least I am not divulging the secrets of the universe to anyone!!

Posted by  on  10/01  at  09:51 AM

I would TOTALLY give you my phone number, but seeing what my names is, makes me think I’m going to get prank calls from you, and Chris might start to wonder if your a stalker.  “Yes honey, Brittny lives in Kuwait and she SERIOUSLY stalks me.” He would think something like that because he has a man brain.  grin
Oh.....I’m on Weight Watchers and I had an extra piece of american cheese today.  SHHHH....don’t tell.

Posted by Alicia  on  10/01  at  10:06 AM

I have a Razr, so that doesn’t happen to me, but one time, years ago, Jeremy and I were in Bryan’s apartment.  Bry had been talking on the phone with this girl Martha that we didn’t like (Me and Jerm).  She lived down the alley, so he hung up to go to her house for a minute.  Jerm and I stayed at his apartment and were discussing how much we didn’t like Martha, and then a few minutes later we went into the other room and saw that the phone was off the hook...and it wasn’t doing that busy signal thing...she was listening in on us!  I still don’t know how Bry missed putting the phone on the hook, but serioulsy, who waits to hear if someone hangs up or not and then listens in on them?  So anyway, needless to say, she was mad at us, and she came storming up the stairs and into Bry’s apartment to tell us that she had heard us.  Sadly, I really didn’t care.  She was just a very undesireable person...plus, I wasn’t talking bad about her...I was just discussing how I didn’t care for her.  Anyway, I just laughed in her face because seriously, who waits for someone else to hang up only to listen in if they don’t get the phone completely on it’s reciever?  Obviously she has way more issues than I.

Posted by Jacqueline  on  10/01  at  11:54 AM

Too funny!  DH used to do that ALL the time!  I used to joke with him that his “pocked called me”.  And, being an “A”, I’m usually the one who receives the prank call smile

Posted by Angela  on  10/01  at  01:15 PM

just change p’s number to something that starts with an a like a sister.  then you will just call her and as long as you are not talking about something you are getting her as a gift, she is probably going to know it anyway.

Posted by  on  10/01  at  02:54 PM

I have sweet little phone that I swear is prolly from the 80s.  I’m totally willing to trade with you and you would so never have problems accidently dialing anyone.  I actually play a game with my phone to see how long it will take before it recognizes that I am pressing the number keys and yes, I do want to call someone. I’ve been so irritated with it lately that I’m worried that I did something horrible to it and then blocked it from my mind because I don’t have the faintest idea of where it could be.

Posted by Dee  on  10/02  at  06:43 PM

About

brittny I'm B-Love. I've just returned to America after spending three years in Kuwait with my husband Mr. B-Love and our two maltese, Boz and Lucy. We recently added two more doggies to our family, Rocky and Teddy. I love weight training, OU football, and lazy weekends. Buckle up and get ready for my constant embarrassing moments, continual madness at a new job, and my daily effort to rely on Christ while adjusting to life back in the real world.


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