Have you ever felt as though someone reached through your skull all the way to your brain, yanked it out, violently and repeatedly slammed it on a metal desk, and then plopped it right back in your head?

My brain? Yeah, it’s totally been beat against a desk. In fact, I think brain is dripping down my neck.

Yuck.

Beaten brain.

By a woman called The Realtor.

Hmm… The Realtor needs a name. A nickname. I’ll let you guys come up with a name for this lady. As it stands, all of my names aren’t very appropriate.

Well, I take that back. They’re VERY appropriate, but they may offend you guys.

It’s amazing how many naughty words you can string together to make a complete sentence.

Yeah- like I said- we’ll let you decide.

How do I even tell this story so that it makes total sense and doesn’t get my blood pressure sky high?

I don’t think it can be done.

I’ll try my best. Here’s my story.

(insert hazy dream sequence)

Will and I found a house. A beautiful house. A house that welcomed me with open arms. A house the almost literally hugged me. It might as well have said, “Brittny, please stay here tonight. I have this great whirlpool tub. I’ll dim the lights, feed you something from my wonderful fridge, and we’ll see where the night takes us.”

Yes- this house totally seduced me.

In a welcoming, friendly, house-y sort of way, of course.

Anyway- I fell in love. Will liked it a lot too.

The trouble is that we got a MORON for a realtor. We thought she was just scatterbrained.

I could have dealt with scatterbrained.

She wasn’t just scatterbrained.

It was more, far more than that.

Here’s how it went down.

The day after we found “the” house, we had Will’s parents drive all the way to meet us and take a look at it too. Our lady was 20 minutes late to our appointment because she “lost track of time.”

We decided to make an offer that day (Friday). After we had made an offer we had found out someone else had an offer in too- contingent on them selling their own house. Um- why didn’t our lady call and find this information out before we took time to draw up papers!? Oh- and when we made this offer our contract was wrought with mistakes. She had to draw up the papers 3 different times. Yeah- she’s a bright one.

From the time we had made an offer, the sellers had 24 hours to counter. We hadn’t heard from her when the 24 hours hit, so we had to track down our realtor to find out if we had received a counter. We did.

We called our realtor back 15 minutes later and accepted counter. From that point (3:15 on Saturday) the other buyers SHOULD have had 24 hours to get a bridge loan and secure the house. The good thing for us is that this was all happening on a weekend and it would have been nearly impossible for them to get anything done and secured by 3:15 Sunday.

Well Sunday afternoon rolled around and we still hadn’t heard from The Realtor. Will decided to call her at 5:00. She said she’d call the other realtor and call us right back on the status. She had simply “lost track of time.”

She called back only to say that that other realtor never got her call, and that we had just then and now we accepted the counter offer and the other people had 24 hours from Sunday at 5 pm to get a loan!

Meaning they have this whole business day!

As it turned out The Realtor HAD CALLED THE WRONG PERSON AND LEFT A MESSAGE telling them we accepted the counter offer.

Her whole freaking job is to make calls, follow up, get a commission, SELL HOUSES etc. and she simply called the wrong freaking person, cost us 24 hours, and quite literally may cost us this house all because of her stupidity.

As you can imagine, we’re furious. If things don’t go our way at 5 today, and these people get this loan, and we lose this house- we will be filing a complaint with the board of realtors about the way she did business the entire time she worked with us.

Oh guys, this totally blows.

I know if it’s God’s will to have this house, we will have it. However, it’s so hard not to get angry at the fact that a freaking miss-dial may be the thing that cost us the house. We should have had that house yesterday afternoon, and now we might lose it because of The Realtor.

Welcome home, right? Ha.

My only hope is that if these people do in fact get this house, the house-my house- will come to life and haunt them until they leave.

I know this story probably doesn’t sound as bad as it seems, but from my point it does. It totally does.

If we don’t get this house it’s back to the drawing board. We’re going to get an apartment instead, so tomorrow may be filled with apartment shopping. So.much.fun.HA.

So say a prayer. I want God’s will to prevail, even if it means I don’t get “the” house. But guys- I really do want it. <3

Oh- and I’m totally taking suggestions for Realtor names.

Hopefully good news to come…

<3