The last few days of my life can best be compared to the following story.

When I was in junior high my parents took me, my sister, and one of her friends to Frontier City (our state’s version of Six Flags). It was a fun day, we were all having a good time and didn’t have to wait in a million lines because it was late Spring. We were having a fun morning and around noon decided to sit and eat an overpriced amusement park meal that costs as much as a steak at Chilis but is about as big as a McDonald’s kids meal. Anyway, we load up on chicken strips and fries and chocolate shakes and are feeling good and ready to hit the park for the rest of the day. We do some walking around and come to the ride that changed my life- the Tilt-A-Whirl.

One of the greatest rides, yet the cause of my demise. My sister begs us to go with her, so along with her friend I decide to ride. We prepare to get in, and my sister begs to be in the middle, even though her friend is already sitting there. I ignore her and tell her to sit across from me. Of course she grumbles but does it anyway. The ride starts and we start spinning mildly. Well, if you have ever been on one of these you know that each seat controls their own little wheel that lets you spin really fast and out of control, so I get that thing going. We are having a great time and we are spinning so fast I’m surprised we didn’t take off. About that time my sister starts telling me to stop because she isn’t having fun anymore, which of course being a big obnoxious sister these words are interpreted as, “More! I want more spinning!” So, I give the girl what she wants. She continues to tell me to stop and that her stomach hurts, yet I continue to ignore her and keep turning that stupid wheel. All of a sudden her face changes and this tiny 2nd grader barfs everywhere. Things came out of this little girl that were unfathomable. It was a mess and was everywhere. My stupid spinning didn’t help....at all… trust me…

That is the best way to explain what is happening here. Everything is a huge Tilt-A-Whirl mess. I don’t even know where to begin.

Yesterday I found out some really bad news. Supposedly I won’t be able to get a working visa until I am 23. That not only means that I won’t be able to work for the company that I really want to, but there is a good chance I won’t be able to work anywhere! The absolute earliest I could apply for a visa would be in Janurary of the year I turn 23. Do you know what this news means? If this really is true, Will and I may have to live with my parents that long.

Will told me over the phone yesterday when he found out, and I was really strong for him because I knew he was really busy. I was doing really well. I just sat at the desk with the phone in my hands. Breathing. Trying to tell myself I was going to be okay, but then I lost it. I sat on the bed and just cried. I feel so much frustration right now. Will and I have planned our financial future on BOTH of us working here for three years and going home and not staying here a minute longer. Things sure are shaken up now. We can’t live with my parents that long. I just sat there and cried and wondered what my purpose was and what God’s plan was for me, because as of now it makes no sense… I just have to trust. That can be hard when I actually have to DO it and not just SAY it. ...It was a totally emotional day. One of the worst in a very long time. I was a mess.

I am trying to stay positive because there is one last glimmer of hope, which I am going to cling to until I hear otherwise. I was contacted by another place for a job last week. I contacted that person and he was really busy, but he took down my number and was going to contact me about scheduling a meeting. I just hope he remembers. I hate placing my future in the hands of someone else, especially when they are busy and jotting my number down on a napkin. I don’t care though, as long as I can get a job SOMEWHERE and start working towards a goal.

So, that is my last hope. That is all I have job wise really until Janurary and maybe as late as my birthday. If I get the job I was talking about I will continue to be on my visitor visa and just leave the country every few months for a few days and get a new one, which is a pain but will SO be worth it if I can get a job and get our own place. PLEASE call me, guy, so I can start working!!!

I will keep you updated, I pray it is good news this week.

In a weird way, tonight was a little symbolic of my life right now. We went to Applebees for dinner and then came home. My dad decided to go across the street and get a hair cut while we went upstairs. We got in the elevator and as we got to our floor we all realized we didnt’ have a key, so we had to go back downstairs and wait for my dad. We went outside by the pool and just hung out. My sister jokingly made the comment that we should jump in because it was so hot. You guys have to know me- that is NOT like me. I have too many inhibitions to just do something “crazy” like that (especially in a place like this!), but for some reason I agreed. We held hands, ran, and dived in, clothes and all. (Will got a picture, I’ll have to post it when it is developed) It was the greatest feeling I’ve had in a long time. I just let go and went in. I felt this crazy freedom. It just felt good to do something different. How true for me. I guess I just need to dive in and trust God that the water is going to be perfect and all of this is going to workout- somehow and in a way that only He can do it.

It was freezing when we got out, and going into the air conditioned building was miserable. I took a warm shower and put cozy sweats on. I never thought I would say I was COLD here.

Anyway, that is the story of me right now. I am hoping I’ll get news tomorrow, but it may take a few days. I’ll keep you posted on this crazy Tilt-A-Whirl of a ride that is my life.