Today was my most eye-opening experience in Kuwait thus far.

Medical.

I was trying my best to conjure just one word to sum up the day, and all I could come up with was going back and forth between yuck and wow.

To obtain a civil ID in Kuwait there are a series of things you must do. One of them is medical. With Ramadan coming this week and everything slowing to 4 hour work days at the gov’t, my company decided to squeeze in a last minute group. I have heard a few things here and here, and I rarely get details about that sort of stuff from Will, so I wasn’t really sure what to expect.

As I got out of the car this morning my dad rolled down the window and said, “Just make sure they use a new needle.“

He drove off before I could tell if he was joking or serious. Way to scare me!

So about 30 of us are all waiting outside- I am the queen of embarrassing moments, mind you, so little phases me anymore. Of course I’ll get embarrassed, but it’s a weekly thing so I have truly learned how to laugh things off.

Well, today I was digging out my phone from the Abyss (AKA my purse), and a huge, green super absorbent tampon goes flying out, doing some amazing acrobatics and then hits the ground… all without me even realizing it.

Okay girls… maybe this is totally just me… but if that happened to someone else and 30 people were standing around I would not have walked all the way to the other side of the group to the girl, bend down for everyone to see, and pick it up and proudly say, “Here you go. You dropped this. You will probably need it!”

Okay… I’m sure she was trying to be nice… but please don’t ever do that to me if you see me and that happens. I promise I will find a way to get another tampon if I’m that desperate- even if I have to get primitive or something.

So that is what happened to me this morning. All these guys were staring at me and chuckling. As she handed it to me, and as everyone was watching the exchange in slow-motion, I let out a, “Thanks… because that’s not embarrassing!” I laughed and go back to digging for my phone. What a morning!

After that we split into groups and got on small mini-euro busses and headed off. Our first stop was finger printing. I would say, from what I’ve seen and been told, that most Kuwaitis that work either own their own business or work for the government. Since this is such a wealthy country I would assume that all government buildings are as nice as the ones I’ve seen thus far, however this building was a surprise. This whole trip made me feel like I was in the Pre-Gulf War Kuwait before things westernized. I considered going into a description, but I have a million more words to write so I thought I’d cut it out. You’re probably thanking me.

We get to the fingerprinting office and they separate the guys and girls. No one spoke English there (though I’m sure they could have if they wanted because almost all Kuwaitis do and they were the ones working there). Anyway, the lady grabs my arm and pulls me into the office and takes all my fingers and aggressively starts rolling them in the ink and shoving them on the paper. I’m thinking any second she is going to take me thumb and plant it on my forehead just because she felt like it.

Afterwards I asked where a sink was and she looked at me like I was an idiot. I then began to make a washing motion, which futher worsened the problem.

“Okay. you win. I’ll go around looking like Ink Freak Girl. Whatever.”

We found a sink nearby, with what seemed like detergent poured on the tops of the sinks. There wasn’t soap, so we went at the detergent stuff...and it worked well.

Fingerprinting wasn’t too bad.

The next stop: my first experience with public health.

You can literally have a baby here for like 20 bucks. No lie. I don’t know how everything works, but the government provides the health system and it is very cheap. I’ve heard both good and bad… and I’m sure there are lots of both, but today was a “bad.” I’m sure some of the clinic around the city are nice, but I think the guy that took us went out of his way to take us to the crappiest clinic in the country just so we would say, “Thank God for private hospitals here.” At least, that is what I said.

We park and make a pit stop at a Kuwaiti deli. now THAT was an experience. I’ve never been to a restaurant here that is truly “Kuwaiti,” where absolutely no one spoke English and it was all arabic- the menus, the cooks, everything. That was hectic. I was so thankful that everyone speaks English in the city. We were all crammed in this tiny little shop and we were telling our “guide” what we wanted and he would yell it out in Arabic and we would wait and cram some more as more people filed in, yelling orders. It was confusing, but it was sort of neat. I couldn’t tell you what I had for lunch (besides french fries), but it was okay.

After that we went to the dreaded hospital for blood work. What an experience. I think half of Kuwait was sick today, and maybe all of the children were. It was a zoo. I wanted to bathe in antibacterial gel the second I walked in. It was sort of dark, and crowded, and it wasn’t the coolest feeling place either- which to me equals sterile.

I kept expceting to see sick people lying on the floor with random nurses putting cold compresses on their heads and screaming for a wooden stick for the person to bite on to dull the pain.

The line was out the door. It is really sad because they workers just pushed us in before those from India and the Phillipines. I always feel bad when wthat happens, and I’m sure it gets annoying for them too. The caste system is really bad here.

Well, anyway, we got in and I sat down. There was an Indian next to me, and I wached as this lady took out a used needle and drew his blood!!!! I was shocked.

Wow!

My dad wasn’t kidding!

I asked the guy that took us if I would get a clean needle and he assured me I would. I watched just to make sure, and I was okay.

Hmmm, I wonder if my short bout of dysentry last week will show up in that sample ? ha ha.

After that fun I had to go to the bathroom, yet another adventure. I walk in and think I accidentaly stepped into the men’s room. Have you ever heard of a women’s urinal? I sure havent. I pass the first stall and literally see a hole on the floor surrpounded by a little porcelain so you don’t spray.

“What is that!?”

I go to the next one and see the same thing. I have no clue how to do that. I will pee all over myself, I just know it. I cross my fingers for the 3rd one and luckly find a real toliet. I go and realize there is no toliet paper.

you’ve got to be kidding me.

I didn’t have my purse with me, so I was on my own. Alone. In the third stall. Wishing the lady using the urinal next to me could save me, but knowing she couldn’t. I felt like the last person on earth, desperatley needing the last arm length of toliet paper only to see nothing but desolate desert.

NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t understand how people can use those hoses and not need to dry themselves afterwards. I just can’t do it. They are in every bathroom, but they also usually have toliet paper. Anyway, after that fun there wasn’t even a knob to flush. So… they have a toliet… but no handle to flush and nothing that even looks like a handle was supposed to go there or even went there at one time.

Wow.

When I think of hopistal bathrooms I think of sterile and ones that I could eat off of of (okay TOTALLY joking, you all KNOW I am a germaphob), but this was the toliet out something from a deleted scence of Texas Chainsaw or something.

Women urinals… go figure.

After that fun we had one more stop. The X-Ray station. Once again, I think half of Kuwait decided to show up to this hospital as well. It was so crowded. they should have been passig out masks as you walked in because you were all justsharing the same air, spores, moisture from breath (YUCK). We get separated again and then get literally yelled at to go in this room. This lady was very mean and scary, She startged tugging at our clothes and giving us these orange gowns- think criminal jumpsuit vamped into a dress. We get undressed and then the lady is yelling at me to do something and I have no idea what in the world she is saying. I look to this Arabic girl behind me, hoping she would offer some help… but no. I have no idea what she is saying so I proceed to the next area and get my xray and she is still freaking out. I go back in and she shakes her hand at me.

“I don’t know what you are saying.”

I say this 4 or 5 times and then finally I just let out a , “I like McDonalds, do you!?” I knew we weren’t getting anyhere, so it helped me to relieve the tension of having no clue what I had done to anger her.

I changed out of my sexy dress (and kicked myself for leaving my camera at home!) and then the lady pushed me!! I turned around and she pushed me again and started yelling, “out!!” Now, I KNOW what that means. I left the room totally freaked out. I will forever go to private clinics where I know someone will speak english and I won’t get screamed at.

Medical was quite a day, and my rose colored glasses of Kuwait have been tainted… okay, I never ever had rose colored glasses of Kuwiat to begin with, but I’m sure you get what I’m saying!

We got back to Doha before noon. I was excited because I was going to get off with my mom at 3:30, but she is at another camp today, so I’m on my own. I have to wait for my dad to get me now, which is a huge bummer because I’ll get home late. Will had to get up at 2:00 today!! He got home after 9 last night, we had to run to the pharmacy so I don’t get knocked up (which is another story I could share but don’t have time), and then he went straight to bed. It was a very short night for us. He got up at 2 and I went back to sleep until he left around 2:35. I have a hard time sleeping in a new place sometimes, and when Will left I couldn’t seem to get back to sleep. I dozed off here and there, but I knew the prayers were coming soon, so I figured I may as well stay awake so I wouldn’t be scared when it happened. I ended up dozing a little more. I will be ready to go home, have my “stoveless” dinner and go to bed with Will whenever that is… hopefully sooner than later. I’m sure he will fall as soon as he gets home.

I need a freaking t-shirt for this long day.