My heart started to race, and I began to breathe a little faster(before letting out a long sigh).  I started to fidget, and then the mind racing came.

“What should we do?”

” Should we suck it up and do it?”

“Should we not, leaving me to feel bad?...”

so many options.

I mean, I’ve done it during the day and it was fine, but am I really ready to move this fast? It’s only been 2 weeks, and only 3 meetings. I just don’t think I’m ready to get this serious and pursue this level of commitment… or am I?
This was me considering our first date and if I should use, “The No.”

I met a girl here and I think I like her, but I can’t be for certain. We’ve went to lunch, and the first couple of times were great, but then came the crucial 3rd date. This meeting is a very important one in getting a feel for how far you want things to go. Is it going smoothly? Can you look ahead to a few more meetings, or is the excitement of having a potential friend gone and you’re just ready to finish lunch and do tons of paperwork?

This is a very big thing. Today I got an email from her asking Will and I out to dinner with her, her husband, and their baby.  I froze. Such a complex matter. I still didn’t have a concrete feeling about the 3rd meeting. You can often tell a lot about the “chemistry” between friends. Is this person going to be the new best friend for me in the middle east? Will she be “the one” I will want to call up and chat with on a regular basis? Or will she be my work best friend? The girl I do everything with when I’m at work, but rarely hangout with outside of work? She could just be a casual work friend too.

Then…

Then comes the absolutely biggest commitment ever because not only is this just about you, nbut now it involves we:

The Couple Friends.

This is an area Will and I have yet to master, and we don’t have very much experience with the matter. I’ve talked about this before, so you already know my complexs, but here I go again. Couple Friends are very difficult. I think in the coming future Will and I will want one, but I’m not sure if we want one right now. I mentioned my friend to Will the other day and he groaned, “You’re not gonna want to all go out and do stuff are you?” That would have normally annoyed me, but for once I understood.

The only time we have together is weekends. When Will gets home it is time for bed, so like most couples, the weekends are very precisous things and are an important time together. It is the time we just want to sit around and watch out King of Queens boxset in our jammies all day. I guess we’ve become homebodies. Thursday is out out and about day to go on a date and run errands and things, but Fridays are the barely move day, when we just sit and do nothing. It’s out time together, so I didn’t take his comment as a bad thing. I have become the same way.

Amazing!

I complain that I want friends here so badly, but then I consider using, “the no.” What’s wrong with this picture!!?

I would love to get together once a month and have a fun girlds day, and I thought that may be where things were heading but then I got the Couple thing dropped on me and I felt a little overwhelmed (look at me! Overanalyzing everything to the point of feeling, “a little overwhelmed” what a nut). That is something I think I need to ease into.

There is so much pressure when you go from a 3rd lunch date straight to the “Big O “ of a couple date. It’s like getting up to the plate thinking you’ll get a single, only to hit it out of the park. I mean, I like this girl and I think we could be friends, bu I think I need to get to know her before taking Will alond for a “getting to know everyone” couple date. That way at least 2 of the 4 people can help guide conversation.

Then, there’s the pressure of wanting the husbands to hit it off and be able to talk the whole time during dinner… or at least talk at all! That is how successful couple friends work- the guy likes the other guy and the girl likes the other girl. It makes things not as fun when one of the two aren’t excited about going out with the couple. It can be hard to find 2 compatible people to have a friendship with. I think I need to know how much we’ll like eachother and how far I think we’ll go before making Will come along for something he’s not thrilled for in the first place.

This is just like dating! That is exactly how I sound!! AGH! I thought this was over!

Then I started obsessing… “Well. the 3rd date was sort of neutral. I couldn’t really tell anthing. Maybe it was me. How do you get to know someone anyway!?” I definitely need to get to know her better before the couple date, I decided. I didn’t even have to call Will to see what he thought because I knew what he would say, “Please no!”

I wrote her back a (hopefully) nice note saying this weekend wasn’t gaood because we were moving- which is the entire weekend plan.Then I did something very questionable, and I’m kicking myself for it. I left an “in.” I added, “But hanging out sounds like fun!” Agh. Should I have put that? I don’t know. I want to get to know her better, so I guess that was okay to put… but it is all a matter of interpretation. I’m hoping to squeeze more lunch dates in before we have the couple date, just to make sure we are a compatiable pair (once again talking like we’re dating for real or something). I didn’t hear back from her today, I’m afraid I upset her, which would be such a bummer. I hope I do because I would like to keep talking. She is my only Kuwait friend right now. This dating stuff is hard for me. How do you get to know someone! So many people I know have had their friends since they were in diapers, so they already know everything because they were there… okay I will stop before I go off in a totally different direction.

I just want Will and I to have a Deacon and Kelly. A Fred and Ethel Mertz. A Barney and Betty Rubble. I think I’m being way to weird about the whole thing, but I want a couple friend where I love the wife and Will likes her husband. Where I can leave the room knowing Will is fully comforable and is totally enjoying himself as he talks to the husband about football. I really want that, and I think it can be hard to find, especially over here, where the pool of people our age is pretty dry. Maybe I should ask her to lunch tomorrow or Saturday to see how the 4th date goes. I just don’t know. I hope she isn’t upset with me for giving her “the no.” I really didn’t mean it because I didn’t want to go with them, it was more of a not ready to take the plunge yet sort of thing… I’m probably making no sense, but I just had to sort thing out here. I would really like for Will and I to have a best couple friend eventually. I would like it sooner than later, but I guess you can’t rush things like that- which is what I’ve been obsessing about in this entire post! I have a million more things I would like to write, but this is very long and my sweet Will should be home very soon. I guess that is enough overanalyzing babble for today.

Hope you all had a great weekend! If you know of any great couples in my area, send them our way! ha ha (I’m sure you are all running in the other direction)