Do you ever feel like you should create a list entitled “Things I Need to Remember to Stress About” just so you don’t forget the mountain of worries tapping at your shoulder?
I honesly came close just now. I really did. I decided to post instead.
Earlier today, Will and I had one of those big kid discussions about life
and how much longer we’ll be here
and how much is enough
and missing out on the little things in life
and everything besides the kitchen sink.
One of those conversations that I wish I could have had a cute little 1930s court stenographer with the bright red lips and beautiful wavy curls sitting quietly in the background typing an entire transcript of everything said.
Sadly, I didn’t have one!
Anyhow, here it sits Saturday night, work tomorrow, and it finally hit me- I need a vacation!
Although Will just came back from one, I know he’s ready for one too. One that’s a little more relaxed than running back and forth to a couple football games and jumping back on a plane.
We never really came to a conclusion at the end of our conversation, we simply decided we needed a vacation. I know Will is far more ready to go home for good than I am. Football season isn’t helping either! It’s so weird living in uncertainty. Sure, nothing is really “certain” (aside from salvation of course!) in this world and in the times we live in, but I think you know what i’m saying. I mean, I sort of feel like we’re floating. Like we’re in this incubator waiting for whatever is next, only we don’t know what “next” is!
In some ways I feel years ahead of my peers. In other ways, I feel so behind.
Sigh, you just had to be there today. I can’t really “re-verbalize” all that we talked about. In some ways we talked about everything, in others we talked about nothing.
Such a contradiction!
One silly thing I realized was that when we go home one day I won’t immediately have my dream house. It’s funny how this whole time I just thought we’d move home and “bam!” we’d either build our buy the house of our dreams. Uh- hello jobs and location! I guess I forgot those two important things. Leave it to me to be the dreamer! Jenny? I’m just going to have to live through you a while longer than I thought, okay?
I just don’t know! I know we don’t have to worry about making this big life decision anytime soon. We’ll still be here for a while, but it sure would be nice to know what lurks around the corner. It seems that every now and then Will and I have one of these big talks that makes my head spin
and wonder
and worry
and stress
and search for jobs
and go crazy
and make Will go crazy too!
Breathe, right? Just breathe. I know tomorrow will take care of itself. I just want to help it along sometimes. I guess I just need to look forward to that vacation of ours.
enjoy the weekend.
I know I’m not even close to being in your situation, but I can absolutely empathize. I wrote about it a few days ago too. It’s so easy to try to figure it all out on our own, when really all we are doing is freaking ourselves out. You know exactly what to do though. Breathe. Your heavenly father holds your tomorrow in his hand, and He’s not worried about it one little bit.