The below post is 100% true email traffic that took place between me and my family last week. For some freak reason, by God’s intervention, we were all online at the exact same time the other day. Names have been altered to protect the derranged. You know the players in my life by now- mom, dad, my sister P, her boyfriend Z, and of course- Will. Oh, and I’m not kidding- we really are this strange.

B-Love- Hey! Our plan is to take Lucy tomorrow morning, and afterwards we wanted to know if you want to meet for breakfast somewhere around 10? Your choice of the place. We’re seeing Spiderman afterwards, P, if you and Z want to come (mom and dad- you could come too, but I just remember how excited mom was to see Star Wars ha ha- remember? You fell asleep). Just let us know!

Mom- Breakfast sounds great, what about the marriott it’s where i think Z, P, and Z’s mom went and she said it was really good

Dad- That sounds like a good plan.  I’m buying breakfast

Will- We’ll armwrestle for it

Dad- Nope, I’m buying breakfast. I’ll let my killer dog go after you!

Mom- I think even if I don’t have anything but fat in my arms I would still beat you both.

B-Love- Will! You silly! Now that they know you’re rich from the $20 bucks I gave you, they’ll make you pay! Ha ha just kidding. We’re still arm wrestling for the bill.

Dad- Maybe I can get my hernia to really stick out if I try really hard.

P- Um..EW.

B-Love- I know, huh? Do you remember the things we said about Will’s dad when he had his? Ha hahaha Sorry, Will.

Dad- I guess that settles it....I was the grossest, so breakfast is on me.

Will- Okay- this time. You forget I have the bigger dog!  By the way I think perhaps he is getting bigger!  Maybe he’s not fixed, and his hormones are kicking in!

Dad- How big can a Maltese get? 

Will- I guess we’ll find out!  Maybe we have a mutant Maltese, like in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

B-Love- See! I knew you’d admit it! They messed up fixing him! I want our 18KD back!!!

Mom- You have to admit that small baby Maltese pups would be adorable, at your house at least not at ours!!

Will- There would be nothing small about his pups!!

Dad- Maybe you can rent him out to see if he’s been fixed.....or I suppose a COMPETENT vet clinic could test him. 

P- You all are extremely entertaining.

Mom- Entertaining...this is just from email, you ought to join us out at the 3 ring circus that we get to attend daily!!!

B-Love- Will- are you being disgusting with your “nothing small” comment!? There ARE minors in this email thread you know!

Will- I didn’t even think about it like that, leave it to a “F (maiden name insterted)” to come up with that

P- I’m not a minor! I’m legal everywhere except America, silly brittny!!

B-Love- Again- CONGRATS on getting accepted to be a congressional page! I’m so proud of you! (for the millionth time)

P- Thanks. They havent seen any REAL white house scandals yet

B-Love- I’m scared to know what that means.

Will- Well I hate to say goodbye to such company, however I have to run. Bye guys!

So after that the traffic dramatically slows, and we all go our seperate ways. Just thought I’d share some insight as to why I am the way I am. ha ha

Have a good day!