When I told Will what I was going to title this post he gave me a disapproving look, but I just had to do it.

Lucky for me he doesn’t read, but I’ll apologize nonetheless.

Sorry Willy.

Have you ever had a phase or period in your life when everyday the alarm goes off, and you are in the early stages of alertness, you rub your sleepy eyes and think, “I wonder what thing will morph into an incredibly diabolic mess today?“

Maybe not, but I’m sure you’ve had a day or two when you’ve woke to feel that.

Welcome to the last few months of this crazy girl’s life.

Okay, I shouldn’t say everything is going straight to hell. God has truly blessed us, but if you’ve followed me for a while you know things haven’t gone as smoothly as one would like- such is life I guess.

Well, today I woke up thinking, “YAY! moving day!!“

I annoyingly said this exact phrase every half hour on the dot. I really drove Will crazy. I continued to prance around and express my jubulation all morning.

We got around and got our first trip of stuff ready to go. We got there and decided to check out the place before we lugged our life upstairs. As we got out of the car I did a dorky little jump, grabbed Will’s hand and said- and I quote:

“Yay Will! We’ve waited sooo long for this moment and it’s FINALLY here! We get to be married again and have our very own beautiful apartment! Yay for moving day!“

A dead woman’s last words.

We got to our apartment, opened the door and got the shock of our lives. Things get fuzzy from here. I think I seriously hit the floor, but I can’t be too sure. Will had to pry my eyelids open and bribe me with a Snickers bar so I would not stay in the hallway, unwilling to go a step farther.

I’m such a freakin’ sucker for chocolate. What’s wrong with me. It honestly would have been better for me to have stayed where I was.

PAUSE: Okay, before I give you the good stuff let me explain how this stuff works. When a person moves out they are supposed to get everything inventoried and have an inspection- both of which did not happen in this case.

Okay, back to the story.

At this point it was just kind of like, okay pick the room you want to throw up in because you will seriously be sick at the sight.

I picked the WRONG room.

I picked the kitchen.

There is something crucial about the kitchen. It is one of those rooms that HAS to be clean. I don’t care if you are the slobbiest person in the world and sit around in a moo moo slathering Betty Crocker frosting on graham crackers all day with your 52 cats and 13 birds- you MUST keep your kitchen clean. There are a million reasons why this is a required rule written into law, but that may have to be saved for another post.

So, I went into the kitchen first. The floor was sticky and disgusting. My shoes were stuck to the floor and made that terrible Riiiip sound as I tried to pick my feet up to walk. Yum. I wonder what deliciously dried puddle of crap I just stepped in. There were dishes still in the sink. Cups full of only our Lord knows what on the counter. Sticky crap latched onto the stove. Get THIS!! There was crap all on the CEILING!! HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN!? How in the world can so much crap get stuck there? Is this Pippy Longstalkings where they hung out on the walls and made dinner from the ceilings or something!? “Hey sweetie! Throw some ketchup up here! Let’s see if I can squirt it into the pan!!“ The fridge, once white, was smeared with brown handprints and had a yellowish tinge. The kicker was that there was rotting food in the fridge as well as on the floor next to the fridge. Dinner at my place next week ladies!!

I wish you all could have been there with me because my descriptions DO NOT do it justice. It was like the Fiji fraternity had their national convention at our apartment.

I should have just walked out right there, but Will made me go farther in so we could make sure we could see what else was wrong before we called someone. Not a great idea sweetie.

There was nasty food glued to the furniture. I said refried beans, Will said pudding. You KNOW it’s bad when you can’t even decide WHAT is stuck to the furniture you will soon be plopping down on in just a few hours (YUCK! I can’t believe we are going to live there!).

There was food ground into the carpet, which was stained brown because of the filth. There was food attached to the coffee table. It was not going anywhere. It was stuck to that freakin’ table like Britney to Kevin. Her lovely shower cap and a slew of trash we left sprawled in one of the bathrooms. It was just horrifying. Think Amityville but kick it up a notch.

Things were flat out bad. I could give you all a room by room analysis, but I think you get the point and I honestly don’t have the time to do it justice.

We seriously got screwed. We called the housing lady, which I totally love, and she was very aplogetic. She said things would be taken care of within 3 days. I know she will do her best, but the problem is that I think she is going to make the lady clean the place herself, which never quite works out because when you are cleaning something that is not yours anymore you don’t do as good of a job as if it were yours. Am I making sense? What they REALLY need is a team of engineers to overhaul the entire place and steamclean every room from top to bottom. Another problem is that we were given this day to move, which was an inconvenience to those we work with, especially those who work with Will because they are in the process of moving to a new camp. This deplorable mess has inconvienced a lot more people than just us (not to mention my parents that got the call this afternoon and had to hear, “We’re baaaack.”)

I was very upset. I want to go on about the whole ordeal, but I should probably start to wrap things up.

I think what bothers me the most is that the place is beyond unacceptable. I don’t think I’d even let someone I didn’t like stay there. I am sick with the whole problem.

I think what makes me the maddest is the fact that we still have to live there. Yeah Yeah, I know they are going to clean it, but there are somethings I KNOW they will not clean properly, like the furniture (she’ll probably just do a “half-arse“ job to make it look decent), and this is the furniture we will be sitting on, the bed we will be sleeping in- it just disgusts me to think. I get mad thinking that I KNOW I will have to go behind this lady once we FINALLY do get to move in and clean the place the way it needs to be.

I was very disappointed. I’ve been very impressed with the way they have set up the rooms for newcomers I had seen before, so this was an utter shock. The housing lady is so great, so I know someone is going to get in trouble, but that doesn’t help us now.

Do I have some aura around me that yells, “Let’s see what makes the nice girl not nice!! Let’s make a game out of it!“

So this afternoon we are going to meet my mom at the apartment so she can see it, not that we need someone to validate the filthy conditions, just so she can get pissed off too I guess. She is bringing her digital camera, I’m sure we’ll capture some beautiful shots of our first apartment in Kuwait. heh.

Sorry for the vent session. I was so looking forward to this day, and now who knows when we will get to move. It has been quite a shocking day, and now with our schedules I’m not really sure when things will get fixed and when we will get to move in.

ARGHHHHH.

So, back to the current living status. Business as usual indefinitely.

I may post the pictures at the apartment later, but not really sure.

All I have to freaking say is that I better have cheered SOMEONE up out there today that was having a bad day by telling today’s crazy story.

<3