Because I'm Terrible at Scrapbooks

for those of us in the valley

Tears welled in my eyes as I drove home from the doctor’s office, but I was determined not to let them fall down my face.

I failed.

If someone were to have told me last year how 2015 would have started, I wouldn’t have believed them.

Things were on the up for the B-Love family. A fantastic opportunity came into our lives that offered promising dreams for our future and goals. This year was supposed to be “our year.”

Only, this year didn’t start out so promising. In fact, thus far this year laid a big fat egg!

So many things we felt so good about, received godly direction and peace about, crumbled all around us.

He continued to provide peace in the midst of the crumbling. We received assurance it is part of the plan, but it all felt (and feels!) so confusing.

“And now this on top of it all,” I thought to myself as I arrived home.

I walked in the door, and Will was there to meet me with a hug. As he held me tight, the tears continued to fall and I whispered, “This wasn’t how this year was supposed to be.”

“Trust me, I know,” he whispered back. “God had a different plan.”

A different plan.

Will was putting it nicely.

Our plans were picked up, turned upside down, and I’m still not sure we’ve even fallen to the ground yet.

Yes, indeed He had a different plan.

“You know what my memory verse this week is?” I asked him.

“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps, Proverbs 16:9. It feels pretty personal right now!”

He agreed.

Verse

I wish I could put a nice little bow around today’s post and give you heartfelt advice about our pain and suffering on this earth, but today I simply can’t.

The truth is, I was a mess earlier this week.

Sometimes, as much as we wish it to be, we can’t tie things up in a nice bow.

Just as Proverbs says, (as well as the New Testament) we can make plans for tomorrow and talk about doing this or that, but we don’t know what the next day may hold. Our hearts plan our way, but ultimately God is Lord over all, and our best laid plans may not turn out as we so meticulously intended.

So what do we do?

Do we wallow in our anguish and give up?

I might of told you yes earlier this week out of complete self pity, but you and I know that’s not what we should do.

Here’s what we do.

We stop worrying.

We stop googling.

We stop stressing and running every scenario though our heads.

It feels impossible to type those things, but it’s true.

We rest in Him. He directs our steps.

We have to purposefully decide to surrender these worries to him.

The Bible tells me not to worry.

Verse

We pray this verse and claim it.

The Bible tells me not to be anxious. That he provides peace that doesn’t even make sense to our human minds.

Verse

We pray this verse and claim it.

The Bible tells me He works for good in ALL things.

Even this terrible thing.

Not some things.

All things.

Verse

We pray this verse and claim it.

I’m not saying it’s easy. Trust me. It’s not.

I still find myself sick with worry and having to consciously stop and surrender it to Him.

Ultimately we have to remember He is our loving Savior and does not intend to do us harm but refine us.

There will be trials and troubles, He told us so, but we overcome through Him.

Praise Jesus we overcome through Him. We’d be in a world of hurt if we had to rely on our fretful selves.

I close with one more story.

Last July, when things were going fantastically in my life, clear as day a rush came all over my body and the Holy Spirit whispered into my heart, “Do you trust Me?”

I found the question odd, and easy to answer. Of course I did. However, it did get me wondering if perhaps He was preparing me for something in the future.

About a week later the exact same thing happened. “Do you trust Me?”

I decided to contemplate the question.

It’s easy for me to trust when things are going swimmingly. But what about when things got hard? Could I trust the same way then?

I believe with all my heart the Lord asked me that question in preparation for this season of life.

When I feel worried, stressed, or doubtful I think about His question- “Do you trust Me?”

Sometimes I say yes, sometimes I say no.

When I say no, I ask for help and grace for it to be yes.

I’ve done that a lot this week.

If you too are in the midst of a valley, I certainly don’t have any helpful advice or wisdom. It’s awful right? And if someone tries to put one more positive spin on everything I might scream! Ever been there, too?

These times hurt.  I have no encouraging personal words to offer.

However, I know He’s bottling our tears and binding our wounds. I know He cares and will accomplish a work to completion. A work we only see such a small a sliver of right now.

Verse

In the midst of this valley we have His word, His truth, and His promises. We have the Blessed Hope.

Even when sometimes we don’t think it’s enough- trust Him. He is.

Brittny, thank you so much for sharing this. When I have been in the deepest valley of my life, the hardest thing was for me to let go of, “what is this? Why?” And trust Him even when no answers to those questions are in sight. I think it’s a lie that the enemy or we tell ourselves, “when this solution comes, when I understand this- then I will have peace.” The reality is that His peace transcends understanding, and is complete. The solution we think we need? Temporary peace. His peace- a well that will never run dry.
I got some of my answers, but many not yet- maybe never, but as you said, He gives us what we are in need of at the right time, according to His plan.
Thank you for helping me see that more! And prayers for your situation. He knows our hearts better than we do!

Posted by  on  05/24  at  09:32 AM

Oh friend thank you for your perspective and sweet words. You always sharpen me and I love to see how He’s worked and continues to work on you. It encourages me so. Praying the Lord continues to spur you with peace so that you will be a light and testimony to others of His goodness in all situations.

Posted by  on  05/24  at  08:55 PM
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About

brittny I'm B-Love. Lover of God, my husband Will, my doggies, OU football, weight training, plyometrics healthy eating (mostly!), peanut butter, and all things health related. Buckle up and get ready for my constant embarrassing moments, health and fitness tips,and my effort to rely on Christ while living life in the real world. Follow me on Feedly! Sign up for monthly emails at blove@theblovelife.com!


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