Rene Terrel

Christopher Lutrell

Julie Kelley

Brittny Lynne

What do all these people have in common?

They’re the kind of people that ought to have sign in their yard warning you of their terribleness.

They’re the kind of people you “accidentally” forget to invite to the Home Owners Association Christmas Party.

They’re the kind of people that make you wear those TOTALLY DORKY kid handcuff things when out in public with your little ones (BTW- for all you expecting mothers, PLEASE promise me right now you won’t have one of those stretchy kid handcuff things when your kid starts walking!? Please!?)

They’re disgraceful people.

They’re dispicable people.

They’re baby snatchers.

Yes that’s right, they’re baby snatchers.

And yes, my name is on the freaking list.

Guys, I’m a loser.

I’m disgraceful.

I’m dispicable.

I’m so not coming to the HOA Christmas Party, and seriously, you NEED to get those ugly kid handcuff things out.

I, Brittny, am a baby snatcher.

Do you hate me?

I hope not.

Let me plead my case.

It all started last Sunday when we went to pick up our sweet Boz and my sister’s dog Lucy. They two dogs have enjoyed each other and love to play and wrestle. Little Lucy is extra tiny, but don’t let that fool you- she has a giant personality!

Somewhere in the middle of cleaning the poop off her butt and picking crap out of her eyes I fell in love with Lucy.

Yes, as cliche as it sounds, (and let’s all say it together):

I Love Lucy.

I really do.

I simply fell for her, and I think she fell for me too. Boz is great, he is so fun. In fact, he and Lucy were instant pals, but there is something about Lucy that I am so drawn to. Will was too. A few days ago I caught him sitting on the bathroom floor with Lucy tightly in his arms. He was stroking her furry head and he looked up at me and quietly said, “I’m really going to miss her.” It broke my heart because I was feeling the exact same way. I started crying at the thought of having to let “our Lucy” go.

Will mentioned us getting another dog for Boz. Will works 13 hours a day and drives 2, and I work a lot of hours too and we’re just not home a lot. It would really be nice for Boz to have a playmate, you know?- but it simply wouldn’t have been Lucy. I mulled over it a couple days, and finally decided I had to tell the truth. I had to write my dad and tell him Ifeel in love with the dog we picked out for them.

Yeah, that was an easy email- let me tell ya!

Hi Dad!
I know you trusted us to pick a dog out for you and take care of it until you took it into your own home, but I was wondering, would it be okay if we violently ripped her out of your arms because we really like her!?
Love,
Brittny

Okay, the email didn’t go like that at all, but I have to admit, it was difficult to write. My dad was really understanding and said that they hadn’t met Lucy and so which ever dog they got would be their dog. He entrusted The Baby Snatcher to pick them out a new dog.

So

yesterday we drove back to Atoka, Oklahoma to get Lucy… yes that’s freaking right. We got ANOTHER Lucy. Hey- not only did I steal their dog, but I stole her name since initially it was going to be their dog, so I at least had to give SOMETHING back. Plus, it’s been a lot easier on the dogs as they’re all 3 together and trying to figure out their name.

I told my dad ours could be Lucy the Second. We now have 2 Lucys and a Boz upstairs and at the moment they’re very quiet! At the moment, that is.

Lucy the First is actually Lucy the Second’s sister! They’re both really small and SUPER cute! P’s dog has a lot nicer hair than our Lucy (our Lucy is sort of scraggly looking, but it totally fits her small dog, big personality thing), but other than that, they’re practically twins. I have some cute pictures! I really wish I could post them. I think P will be happy with my choice (I love you and I swear, P, I’m NOT THE DEVIL! I know I’m a sucky Baby Snatcher, but I promise to take care of Lucy the First until you have her for yourself!)

Can you believe we’re bringing two dogs home with us!? Are we insane!? I don’t think so, but I do have to admit that I never saw this whole ordeal coming in a million years.

I have missed the nest sooo much. I can’t wait to have time to catch up with my favorite blogs (for the millionth time, sorry for sucking the last month), and heck, I would just love to be able to write more than just once a week! It seems funny that I’m closer to the nest more than ever before, but I miss it more than ever. I guess vacation is often busier than real life in ways.

I think about things I want to post about but by the time I finally make it to the computer, they’ve eluded me. I think I need to get a tape recorder to verbalize my thoughts so when I sit down to post, I don’t forget what I want to say! Does that make me an obsessive blogger?…

That’s my story. I think it best that you all lock your doors, set your alarms, and most of all, secure your dogs. I can’t be trusted, guys. I’m a dangerous woman.

Do you think I’m an Evil Baby Snatcher? Hmm… how would I dress up as that for Halloween? A glock that shoots breast milk (hahahaha)? A big van with a built in crib? Would that be offensive? I’m thinking yes. Maybe I’ll just stick with dressing up as Brittny, the
strange girl with 3 dogs.