The other day, out of no where, Boz requested I start calling him Bozette.

(?)

I thought it very strange and told him he should like his name, and there’s certainly no need to put a feminine “ette” at the end. After all, he’s named after Brian Bosworth, the great OU Sooner legend. I explained that if he were to change his name to Bozette he would go through life defaming the legend that is “The Boz.” He simply couldn’t do that. He sadly said he understood and moped out of the room. I didn’t think much of the conversation (other than the fact that I was impressed by his comprehension- who would have thought a dog could evaluate his name?).

About a week later I heard this odd mumbling coming from my bedroom.

“Stupid stupid clasps. I hate these hooks!” Exclaimed some unidentified female voice.

I turned the corner, and much to my surprise I saw Boz rummaging through my closet!

He looked up with these giant terrified eyes, as if I were a giant Doberman and he had “Juicy Steak” written across his forehead. Deer in headlights doesn’t describe it.

The guy had one of my bras hanging around his neck. Not only that, but it was a bright pink one.

He dropped the bra and took off running. I could tell he was horrified. I finally coaxed him out from under the couch and we talked.

Will and I thought it best to hold off on the whole doggie psychologist thing and instead of delving deep into his psyche, we opted to take him to the vet to make sure everything was physically okay. As the vet was inspecting Boz, he noticed something peculiar.

Boz still had half of his “manliness” in tact!

When Will and I got this news we were pretty upset. See, we got Boz fixed early in his doggie life. We were told that if we did it early there would be a good chance that he wouldn’t do all the things that make male dogs so wonderful (ha) like lifting his leg when he peed, marking everything under the sun, or humping other dogs.

However, that never happened. Granted, there was just a chance he wouldn’t do those things, but we were hoping for the best results.

Or even “good.” Good would have been okay too.

I’d probably take decent at this point too.

You may remember this post in which I questioned whether or not Boz was fixed. I was sort of being funny, but I was also being honest. That vet DID give us a strange look, and this news proves it. Ever since Boz got fixed I’ve questioned whether or not the vet really did the job.

I should have put money on it. Turns out he didn’t and I was right.

I didn’t want to be right.

I wanted to be wrong. Very wrong.

Apparently they got one little “guy” out, but not the other!

This explains the constant Molly Humping,

peeing on the dining room floor,

and continually lifting his leg each time he (or Lucy) pees.

It also explains his recent crisis of wanting to be called Bozette and rummaging through my bras. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was, and it all came to one big transsexual crisis.

Don’t worry, we explained the situation and he’s totally cool now. We’re going to take him to the vet this weekend and get the job done, this time for good. Unfortunately there’s a good chance he’ll continue to mark, but at least we know he won’t be capable of spreading his seed.

I seriously couldn’t handle a litter full of Bozzys and Bozzettes.

Alright, so this post is getting sort of stupid and weird (hmm, what made it weird? Was it my dog wearing the bra part perhaps? Yeah, that might have put it over the line) and in no way displays my view on the whole controversial sex change subject (let’s not get carried away now!). I just needed to vent my frustrations with the situation (considering now we have to pay twice for a job that should have been done once!). I also needed to lighten my mood over the whole thing.

So, this weekend Boz’s transformation will be complete. I’ll have a dog without spawning capabilities, and will still retain his oh-so-lovely desirable quantities such as

peeing on everything in sight,

humping poor innocent dogs,

peeing on everything in sight,

marking over Lucy’s pee,

peeing on everything in sight- yeah I think I mentioned that one.

Not only that, but I also have to put Boz through rigorous counseling so he’s not jacked up after this traumatic experience.

So here’s to hoping two times a charm. Let’s hope my little Boz ends up 100% neutered and not half and half.

<3

PS- Oh, and don’t tell Lucy you know about the bra thing. She would never let Boz live it down.