You know what?

It’s been a while since I’ve done an Annoying Weekly Update!

(crickets chirping)

Okay, so annoying updates are, well, annoying- but hey it’s all I’ve got today. It’s all I’ve got unless you want to know about power tools and professional sports equipment.

Don’t ask me why I know all about those things. Trust me, you don’t want to know. Trust me, I don’t want to know either.

What’s better than an annoying post about my life full of miscellaneous administrative things I’ve been meaning to mention for the last 6 weeks?

Nothing!

So first things first.

Jacqueline! I tried to send you a Happy Birthday E-card today but the stupid thing came back to me! What’s up with that!? Why is your email eating my email and puking right back to my inbox with a big nasty RETURNED TO SENDER and PS You Smell message? Tell your email it’s in big trouble, mister. I’m just trying to wish you a happy freaking birthday for crying out loud! Anyway, since it didn’t work I’ll just tell you that the card said “You Rock” and had an electric guitar on the front (which is perfect and why I chose it since you love music). Then I wrote you a mushy I love you and happy 25 years and all that crap on the inside.

So- there.

It’s like I sent it again.

Only I didn’t.

Happy birthday! Do you want me to sing the TGIFriday Birthday Song??

I’ll spare you this year.

Next year you might not be so lucky.

Did you guys know that Jacqueline is my real life friend? She knew me when I was super chubby and had tight permed curly hair. It was a really bad time in my childhood. I remember one time I went to one of the beauty colleges to get my hair permed-

wait.

that totally deserves a side story-

Mom! What were you thinking!?! These people were 18-year-old kids that could barely drive a car and still drank chocolate milk for dinner! I know! Let’s let them PERM MY DAUGHTER’S HAIR! What a brilliant idea!! I swear, the oldest child gets totally screwed. My mom knew not to take P to a place like that- AND NOT SUPER TIGHT PERM HER HAIR because she learned with me.

Sigh.

What a crazy time.

Anyway, I remember going to the beauty school college place thing to get my chubby scalp permed and the girl there was all like, “ You’re going to be so pretty. You’re going to turn all the boy’s heads.” Obviously, she was trying to make me feel better because what she was really meaning was, “Crap. Well, I guess this is the reason why we only charge $15 for a perm. You look like a a curly haired sheep and you will definitely get some looks from the opposite sex.”

Fun times.

Anyway- back to Jacqueline.

We both had crushes on these older guys at church and would totally stalk them. Summer camp was always so much fun.

Ahh, memories.

Ironically, I dated one of those boys for over 2 years! Don’t worry, I didn’t have my tight perm during those years.

I’m getting off track. Happy birthday Jacqueline. I hope today is wonderful.

Okay, moving on to other things. Did you notice my Totally Fabulous Award that’s been on the sidebar for like 3 weeks now and has never been mentioned in my blog? No, guys, I didn’t make the thing up myself and award myself. My lovely blog friends Jenny and Kristen gave me this award. I heart you both very much. I felt really loved when I saw this on your guys’ blogs. YOU are fabulous. It’s hard to believe we’ve “known” each other for 2 years! It’s been so much fun.

Okay, so I think I’m all caught up with things I’ve been meaning to talk about but haven’t…

So on to new things.

There’s not much new going on- which is why I just went on a 10 minute tirade about my bad childhood hair decisions.

Kuwait is finally starting to cool off- a little. In the mornings all of us wimps have goosebumps as we stand outside in our short sleeved shirts in the 73 degree air. What weenies, right? It’s still in the high 90s during the day, but it feels so much better than it has in weeks past. I’m anxious for winter here. Winter is amazingly pleasant in Kuwait. I honestly love Kuwait weather 5 months out of the year. The rest of the year? That’s a different story. If you’ve read my blog for the past few summers, I think you probably know how I feel- I often refer to this place as hell. The winters, however, are so nice. They really make me feel happy. The sun is so bright and shiny, but the air is so cool and crisp. It’s a perfect combination of warm and cold.

While we’re on weather- did you guys know when I was in 5th grade I wanted to be a meteorologist? All I would watch- willingly watch of my own volition- was The Weather Channel.

Wow. That’s a doozy, huh!?

That was during the permed hair, chubby fingers stage- which explains a lot.

Then I remember my dreams were dashed in 7th grade (yep- this phase lasted a while) when we had a career fair and I found out how much math a science I was going to have to study.

I changed my mind real fast after that.

After that day I decided to aim real high in my career choice and go for things that never ever required me to use math or science.

So, that’s how I ended up where I am today.

In a round about way I guess.

I wake up in cold sweats at the thought of helping my kid with school work one day. Lord help us all. Good Lord guys, I can barely compute cutting a recipe fraction in half let alone graph an algebraic equation.

How am I still alive!?!

I guess because I don’t bake much.

Want to know something even MORE embarrassing? I couldn’t think of a state capital the other day. I felt like such a moron. State Capitals are one of those things that are DRILLED into your mind all through out school. How could I forget something like that, you know!? I swear, working has made me stupider. I’ve forgotten all I’ve learned in school. I do, however, remember the multiplication tables (here we go- back to the math thing again) because I learned them to different songs. To this day I still hum the song as I compute any sort of multiplication.

My coworker loves it.

A lot.

(not really. She threw an eraser at me the other day while I was doing it. Okay- I’m lying about that, but I think she wanted to).

I can’t imagine why I annoy her. I’m perfectly normal.

I guess this isn’t much of an update and more like a terrifying look into my strange oddities.

Speaking of terrifying!

There was this guy dressed up like the Burger King Man at my camp today. Guys- it was seriously freaking scary. I don’t know why, but the Burger King totally freaks me out. He’s like a giant in the commercials! He’s all 7 feet tall and wears tights and has this gigantic face and is always swaying… I don’t know why- but it just rubs me the wrong way. He’s a scary guy. Do kids like him? What was that marketing and promotion group smoking the Wednesday this guy got put on the drawing board?

Okay, enough randomness for today. Have a wonderful day. Stay safe! More to come…