A little over 3 years ago, Will got in his car and began the long drive across town.
He was about to sit his parents down and tell them we would be moving across an ocean- and not only that, but we also planned to live there for quite a while.
The whole time he was gone, my stomach was in knots. I prayed the entire time- and cleaned incessantly. When Will returned home he told me about the conversation with his parents. It obviously was full of his mother’s tears, and awkward silence, but it was over. Officially done.
Just a few short weeks later, Will and I were sleeping on our bedroom floor and recounting memories of the house we would soon be leaving. It was emotional, but at the same time exciting. I couldn’t wait to leave Oklahoma and begin a new chapter in our lives. I couldn’t wait to be reunited with my family and lead a whole new life in Kuwait.
I felt so many different things as we drove away from our house that last time. So many questions, wonders, and uncertainties. We simply drove off trusting God to take care of us and unsure about all the details the future would hold for us.
It’s so hard to believe that this week marks 3 years since Will and I bid our life in Oklahoma goodbye. In some ways it seems like yesterday, but in other ways it feels like an eternity. I have truly learned to call Kuwait home, and I truly enjoy living here. I’m comforted by the prayer calls that sing me to sleep each night, and unalarmed by the ladies garbed in all black. I’m no longer shocked when the scorching summer heat takes my breath away, or when it’s raining mud. This has become my life. It’s incredibly normal to me. As odd as it sounds, I have grown comfortable with a place not my own. A place that worships a different god than mine, and a place that does not value so many things that I value. I know it seems as though such things are contradictions, yet at the same time they make so much sense to me.
The thought of saying goodbye makes me heart hurt, though I’ve known along it was something I would have to do one day. I just never knew I would grow attached to this place, and that’s what makes it so hard.
I resigned today.
You read that right. I quit. I stuck it to the man.
Because you all know how frustrated I’ve been for a while, can we please have a moment of silence gigantic party via the internet!?!
AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! I JUST FREAKING QUIT MY JOB!
Let’s flail our arms and jump up and down and look like morons- all sharing in my excitement.
There have been so many times I’ve mulled this post over in my head, trying to figure out how I would feel when I posted it. How I would feel when I quit. When I finally did it.
The truth is that I still don’t know. I feel anxious- so ready to leave already. I feel sad. I feel nervous. I feel happy. I feel everything!
I received a job offer last week and have accepted it and made arrangements to start in early June (!). You know, it’s funny. The whole time I was going through the interview process I felt such a peace. I had no doubt I was going to get this job. After each interview I got off feeling confident. I got off thinking to myself, “I’m going to get this job!” God gave me such a peace about the whole process. That’s one thing that is making it easier to leave. I know I don’t really want to, but at the same time I know God is in this move and I want to see what he has planned for us. Everyone around me felt that same peace, which is yet another confirmation and encouragement. It’s truly been something God has worked out all along the way.
The company is even going to let me take my 3 week cruise! How awesome is that? (oh, it’s unpaid which has me freaking out- but still- I get to go!)
Guys, I just can’t believe this is all happening! I’M FREAKING MOVING BACK TO AMERICA!
I JUST QUIT MY JOB AND AM MOVING BACK TO AMERICA AND STARTING WORK IN JUNE.
Oh God. Did you just read all that? I just freaking quit my job! What the crap am I thinking! We have no house or plans or anything or everything or…
I just quit my job guys!
Okay- sorry- just had a panic attack. Will told me last night that I need to have faith. I’m only going to have about 2 weeks to get all of these things taken care of- which is craziness. Will is right, I seriously need to have faith. God has worked out everything so far, and I just need to trust that God is going to continue to take care of us.
As you can imagine, though, this is a huge stressor in my life right now. My parents are sad, but also excited about my new opportunity. It’s going to be so hard to say goodbye to them- I’ve lived nearby for 25 years! They were really proud, and you know what? So am I! I’ve spent 3 years here busting my butt. After all the work turmoil here I simply decided-You know what? Forget this place. If they don’t want to promote me because I don’t have all the experience they want on paper despite the fact I’m doing the job, then I’ll just soak up everything I can. I’ll learn it all and use this as training ground for the job I want.
And that’s what happened.
Sort of salt in their wound, wouldn’t you say? I’m over being bitter. Long over, but I have to admit it feels really good getting a job with a “real” company known throughout the world doing work they said I still needed a few years experience to do. Vindication anyone?
It’s all just happening so fast. Do you realize 2 weeks from now I’ll be back in America establishing a whole new life there? The plan was always to live by the plan- but now we have no plan and are flying by the seat of our pants! I guess that’s part of God’s plan- because we have to trust Him. Please guys, please keep us in your prayers as we search for a car, and a house, and all the other details in between. There is so much stuff to do! Just thinking about it jolts me into this awful frenzy that drives the world mad.
So now the secret is out. My parents have known for a little over a week, and a couple other close friends have known, but now it’s officially public and in the open (can you get more public than the World Wide Web?). I have a job and am moving back to America. I still don’t know how it feels saying that. Sometimes during the day it makes me excited, other times it makes me want to cry. Regardless, this opportunity is so good for me and I’d be foolish not to take it.
So there you have it- from my heart, the full story. I only pray and hope this next chapter in The B-Love Life is as wonderful as this chapter has been.
Did I mention I quit my job today??
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