Because I'm Terrible at Scrapbooks
Nothingness

daily updates, random talking... whatever I feel like talking about when I have nothing to talk about.

Shaking The Snots

I went to lunch with my dad today. After we ate, he got an extra large Chocolate Mousse Royale shake from Baskin Robbins and offered to buy me one. I exercised my willpower and said no.

I officially consider today a good day.

That’s all it takes, really. The powers of the Earth had to align just right for me to pass on a Baskin Robbins shake, so I figure good things must be coming today. I hope anyway.

These good things will NOT coming from my nose, however. I’ve been snotting all over my self all week. It’s not only disgusting, but quite honestly embarrassing. I thought I was going to have to excuse myself while we were on The Date this weekend because I could see major snot bubbles in my future. Thankfully for me (and everyone within snot flinging range) everything remained under control.

I went to the pharmacy this weekend to try and shake these snots. Oh- that brings me to a side post!-

Did you know you can get just about ANYTHING you freaking EVER wanted at a pharmacy in Kuwait without a prescription!?! I’M NOT FREAKING LYING.

Sleeping pills? Check.

Birth Control? Check.

Antibiotics? Check.

Allergy Medication only sold with a prescription Stateside? Check.

I left the pharmacy with a nice little candy bag of allergy cure-alls. Only they haven’t worked all that well. I’m shoving odd objects up my nose and squirting strange liquid up there- that is, when I actually make it in my nasal cavity. The first day I shot myself right in the freaking eye. Those pumpers are sensitive!

I’m choking on snot all night, guys (yeah, I did just go there). It’s pretty sick.

I just don’t handle snot well. Want to know a secret? I couldn’t even blow my nose very well until high school. High School guys!! That’s pathetic. Anyway, I still hate blowing my nose in public. I think it’s the most embarassing thing ever, mainly because I don’t think I’ve ever in my life had a good, clean nose blow. There’s something always hanging, or I feel the need to shove a tissue up my nostril… it’s really a sad sight. You would totally disown me. I decided that this snot crap has to stop.

I figured I’d clean my office area a little. We’ve had some bad sand storms the last few days and our entire office has been coated in sand (hmm… and I wonder why I can’t breathe well!!...). I pulled the filter out of our AC unit and was astounded. It was covered in dirt- just waiting to filter through the air vent and cling to my ski slope nose, causing all sorts of havoc. I wish I had my camera, you wouldn’t believe it. Apparently the filters get like this on a weekly basis out here (yeah, I’m a genius. I live in the desert and didn’t stop to think maybe, just maybe, I should clean our air filter). Let’s cross our fingers that a clean filter cleans my nose woes, because if not- I’m about to become a hazard.

You might want to buy an umbrella. My next sneeze is headed westward.

More to come…
(^ non-snot related, I promise)

posted in All About Me,Nothingness,Q-8 bullet permalink bullet 6.18.2007

You Might Want to Shove a Pencil in Your Eye

I’m staring at this picture of a lab student with geeky protective eye wear.

He’s on my ink cartridge box. HP 35 something or other. Maybe you’ve seen him?

After staring all day I’ve concluded he’s sort of cute. Well, sans the goofy eye wear of course.

Yes, my friends, it’s been another boring day in Kuwait. I won’t complain, though. It was pandemonium for a long time. The break has been much welcomed.

I’ve visted every single site I can think of (twice), and figured there’s no better way to kill time than to post! If I’m bored, well, you all have to be bored too.

Being bored is a funny thing. I plays tricks on my mind. It makes me “hungry.” It makes me “tired.” It makes me “homesick (AHH! It’s attack of the quotation marks!!!).” The “ “ use is due to the fact that I’m really not any of those things (well… except homesick). Being bored just magnifies the need for me to think I am all of those things. Especially hungry. Then again, I always think I’m hungry. I don’t have to be bored for that one at all.

I think I’ve gone to the bathroom 11 times today. Again with the mind tricks.

“Hmm. I’ve got nothing to do.... I know! I’ll go pee!” Because that’s what everyone does when they’re bored, right?

Probably not.

Most people become creative geniuses when they’re bored. Do you think Beethoven was a busy guy!? Ha- think again. I think I read somewhere that he spent 22 hours a day staring into space. Okay, that’s a lie- but I’m trying to convey that most people channel their boredom into masterpieces. I’ve yet to steer my boredom towards creative wonder. I can blame this on the fact that this job is rarely boring- or the truth, which is that I’m not good with creative wonder.

Wow. I have to pee again. Or at least I think I do.

Hoping your day is a little more eventful than mine…

posted in Nothingness,This Isn't CTU bullet permalink bullet 6.11.2007

You Can’t Expect Much on an Idle Sunday.

Do you ever feel now that you have your own place in the blogosphere that you have to post? I’ve posted about this topic from time to time, but once again here I am- staring at a blank screen thinking,

“Crap! I haven’t posted since Thursday morning! I HAVE to post something! Anything!” as if I entered into a legally binding contractual agreement I signed in blood that says if I don’t post at least every other day I’m condemend to wear those pesky stirrup pants and hypercolor tees we talked about earlier this week.

I feel that way on random Sundays (ha- lie. I feel that way everyday!) when I have nothing to write. So, to spare the rest of you- get the crap out of here! What you are about to read is useless boring information that might make you feel the need to bang your head against the nearest desk. Or wall. Or door. Or really, whatever is close enough to help you forget the reality of this post. SAVE YOURSELVES!!

To the remnant who enjoy hodge podge conversational nothingness- follow me. 


posted in Nothingness bullet permalink bullet 6.10.2007

MeMe Catch-up

Thanks Mrs. M! Apparently I missed a week of memes! Where have I been!?! I was tagged twice, so here I go to play catch up!

Meme #1

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1)The Life & Times of a First Time Stay at Home Mom

2)Mom of 2 and Wife of 1

3)BlondeMomBlog

4) Newlywed Bliss

5)The B-Love Life

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was a young 14 years old! Hmm- what, 8th grade or something? I have fond memories of my junior high years with my best friend at the time, April. Oh my gosh- I don’t think I’ve laughed as much since junior high. Memories of Summer Journals, Smashing Pumpkins, and my totally cool SilverTab Wide Leg jeans come to mind.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
I was just coming back from Dubai! It was such a fun trip! Will went skiing in their indoor ski lodge (yes, you can actually ski in the Middle East- go figure, right!?) and we stayed a night here. It was amazing!

Five snacks you enjoy:
Ha ha! The foods below aren’t necessarily my favorites (because honestly- you all know I like to eat like a freaking man cow), but they’re ones I actually eat on a regular basis at work and like.

1. Lettuce wraps with tofu, cheese, and dijon mustard

2. South Beach cookies/cereal bars

3. Chickpeas with balsamic vinegar

4. Low Sugar Fruit

5. Yogurt

Those are my week day work snacks. My weekend snacks look very different. Very different.

Five songs that you know all the lyrics to:
1. One, Three Dog Night

2. The Dress Looks Nice on You, Sujfan Stevens <3

3. Transatlanticism, Death Cab for Cutie <3

4. Gimme Shelter, The Rolling Stones

5. I Need Thee Every Hour

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1. Tithe (we do that anway, but still- you gotta put it, right?)

2. Buy a business so my money is continually working

3. Buy a house by the lake

4. Buy Will his GMC truck

5. Have a weekly spa package set up so I can have the works done every Friday afternoon (ahhh...)

Five bad habits:

1. Worrying

2. Being too nice/passive That’s probably the biggest.

3. Feeling the need to freaking eat anything in front of me just because it’s there. Wait, that’s probably the biggest

4. Stressing over things I can’t change (seriously- I stress about things WAY over my head- international relations, the environment, etc. I’m so weird)

5. Eating peanut butter with a spoon right out of the jar… and then putting honey on top of the gobbed spoonful of peanut butter. And then totally using the same spoon to get more. I’m such a sick-o. Definitely the biggest. No question.

Five things you like doing:
1. Weight Training <3

2. Blogging

3. Watching boxsets of shows we don’t get over here (yes, I’m lazy. I admit it.)

4. Viewing photography

5. Listening to my iPod

Five things you would never wear again:

1. Loafers and white socks

2. A t-shirt tucked into my jeans and pulled out (you know- the bubbled-tuck look?)

3. Reebox High Tops (remember!? They had like every color imaginable- plus some colors I don’t think even register on the color wheel!)

4. A ribbon tied around my pony tail

5. Straight Leg Jeans

Five favorite toys:

1. iPod

2. Camera

3. I Have No Clue

4. What Else To Say

5. I’m Boring and Have No Toys.

Okay, If you’re not sick of me yet, I’ve got another one below! This is Annie’s!

Meme #2

8 Random Things About Me!

1. One summer, when I was little, I was hot. To cool off I decided to stuff two eggs down my pants and then crack them.

No, I have no idea why.

Wait- it was because I was hot. It makes sense, right!?
...

Sigh, I was destined to be weird from the start…

2. I inherited my father’s digestive system. ie: I’ve probably plugged up more toilets than all of you combined (what a lovely fun fact, right!?) Thank God for Benefiber.

Seriously.

3. I went to 9 different elementary schools prior to 5th grade.

No- it wasn’t because I was a troubled child (hmm… or was it!?!). My dad was in the army.

4. One time I tried to pay a pizza man $12 for a $24 pizza order. I gave him a coupon that said “half off” so I thought it meant that I could use the coupon as the other $12 and just pay half… I was in high school when I did this, by the way. Speaking of pizza- I didn’t know you were supposed to tip the pizza guy until about 2 years ago. So- if you ever delivered to my house, I’m really sorry. I didn’t know.

5. In college I tried to vacuum my bedroom. I came out all sweaty and told my mom vacuuming was hard work. She looked at me perplexed and asked why. “Well because you have to keep lifting it up everywhere you go!” I answered. Apparently I never pushed the lever to release the vacuum and was doing it upright. What a freaking moron. I graduated Cum Laude, by the way.

No, I really did.

6. I don’t wash my hair everyday.

7. I played the cello for 7 years. I miss it so much. I hope one day I’ll be able to buy a nice one and take lessons again. See- I’m totally refined (HA HA HA)!

8. One time I bowled a 7. Yes, a 7. And I actually tried my hardest to do well.

Anyone want to start a bowling league?

Tired of MeMes yet??  You can’t be because

YOU’RE IT!

posted in All About Me,Nothingness bullet permalink bullet 5.28.2007

The 51 Things I Did On My Lunch Break Today

1. Read about 234 blogs 2 different times in hopes that maybe, just maybe, someone updated their freaking blog at 4:00 a.m. Eastern Standard Time

2. Logged my food into Sparkpeople.

3. Checked out the Iron Maidens Spark Group page.

4. Thought maybe I should totally join.

5. Read some entries from the Iron Maidens.

6. Changed my mind.

7. Sat and stared at this blank screen for about 16 minutes, debating if I wanted to post.

8. Decided to go to Fitness Magazine instead.

9. Got bored really fast.

10. Sprayed my french vanilla air spray in the room because I had tuna for lunch and, well, I don’t have to tell you that would totally knock anyone into the opposite wall, striking them unconsious.

11. Accidentally went to this scary lady’s website that had muscles on top of muscles and scary twitchy veins protruding from every angle of her body.

12. Clicked off really quickly.

13. Splashed cold water on my face to take away the shock.

14. Looked at my list of things to do four times.

15 Realized I haven’t done freaking any of them and thought to myself, “I should get on that!”

16. Decided to get on my list right after lunch.

17. Or Thursday at the latest.

18. Went to the nest to see if I missed it. Decided maybe I do.

19. But seriously? Not so much.

20. Checked out about 13 more of the “famous people” blogs. Thought to myself, “These bloggers are so cool.” Yes, that’s right I have some sick adoring elementary school puppy love crush on famous bloggers. I admit it.

21. Stared into space.

22. Wished I would have went out for lunch instead of sitting at my desk.

23. Totally spied on what my coworker was looking at online. I think she noticed. Quickly looked away and pretended to be busy.

24. Looked over my workout plan for tonight.

25. Actually wished someone would come into the office to give me work.

26. Quickly snapped out of it and changed my mind.

27. Remembered I needed to call Will.

28. Decided I’d do it after I posted about the thrilling things I did on my lunch break.

29. Frantically searched for a Crystal Light On-The-Go Pack, only to realize that I didn’t have one.

30. Cried.

31. Checked my email. When nothing new was waiting in my inbox I loudly complained, “What!?! People’s fingers don’t work anymore!?!”

32. Had my coworker look at me as if I was twitching out on some unidentified substance.

33. Watched her write something down about my odd behavior.

34. Decided to keep it down for the remainder of lunch.

35. Jammed out to my iPod.

36. Almost posted about the top 30 song you need to freaking download now.

37. But obviously, as you can see, didn’t.

38. Contemplated the Presidental election.

39. Wondered what I would say on MTV’s Rock the Vote if I ever ran for President.

40. Wondered if they even did that on MTV anymore.

41. Decided that if they didn’t, I wouldn’t run for President.

42. Wondered if I could pull off Hillary’s hair cut.

43. Started laughing.

44. Remembered I decided to keep it down for the rest of lunch.

45. Stopped laughing.

46. Remembered that my eyebrows were slowly taking my face over.

47. Made a note to add, “Make an eyebrow appointment” to my list of things to get right on after my lunch.

48. Decided I really needed to pee, but changed my mind because it’s too freaking hot to walk to the bathroom.

49. Checked the weather forecast for Kuwait this week.

50. Cried.

51. Decided I definetly need to take my lunch out of the office tomorrow.

posted in Nothingness,This Isn't CTU bullet permalink bullet 5.21.2007

A Steamy Load of Nothingness

So I get this big fancy new blog and am so in love with it that I have this continual urge to post even when I have nothing to say. This is not something new to me, oh no. I did it all the time on the nest, and called it something fancy like, “Monday Update” or “Hodge Podge” or whatever- but the truth is that it should have been titled “A Steamy Load of Crap Wrapped in Pretty Pink Celophane Because I Want to Post and Have Nothing to Say but Want to Make it Look Like I Do.”

So, I decided I should be honest on this blog. Instead of giving the appearance of a “real post (by the way, what is a “real post” anyway?),” I’m going to level with you and let you know up front- hence today’s pretty post title. If you’re finished reading (since I’ve already been up front with you)- see you tomorrow, but if you’re not, click here.


posted in Nothingness bullet permalink bullet 5.07.2007

I’m Too Busy for Oprah

You know I love you, that’s why it hurts to write this letter.

Remember all the fun we had my first couple of years of college? Y’know before my boyfriend (who later became my husband) made me get a job- taking me away from you and our special hour together? Of course you remember. You were as devastated. I had to hang up on you because I couldn’t talk through all your sobbing. I’m sorry I had to cut the cord that day. The truth is, I think Will felt threatened by the connection we shared. I know, you probably get that a lot, but this time it’s real.

Who could forget our discussions over weight loss, Brad and Jen (pre-split, of course!), and how great Texas beef really is? Oh the laughs we shared, and the tears we cried. Every weekday at 4:00 was such a special time!

And now… now there’s a chance that we might reunite! I know you were just as thrilled as I was. I’m sure the same things that were going through my head were going through yours when you learned I would be in Kuwait.

“Has she changed since we last met?”

“I hope she remembers me.”

“I hope this pink shirt doesn’t make me look fat.”

Don’t worry, Oprah, I remembered you- oh, and you look great in that shirt! Stop saying you look fat!”

Unfortunately, as excited as you’ve been to meet me, I’m afraid I’m going to have to cancel.

I know, I know, you rearranged your “busy schedule” to come all the way over to the middle of nowhere, but the truth is, Op, I’m a busy lady in high demand. These websites I visit just can’t wait and I am not going to let them down, darn it. Not even for Oprah Winfrey.

So, I knew this news would be upsetting, and I knew you would have your people call my people to try to arrange a get together. How many more ways can I say, “I’m Busy!” without hurting your feelings!? Gah. Just let it go. You’re really beginning to look desperate.

Okay, I see you are going to pester me about meeting you, so here’s what I decided to do. Here is a list of the reasons I can not meet with you today. I don’t think I can make things any clearer than this!!

10. I wore entirely too much blush today. The lighting in my bathroom isn’t the greatest. I thought I needed a little more because apparently it just didn’t seem like 50 swipes was enough. I reapplied the pink horror one last time only to shock myself in the office bathroom this morning.

I look like a cross between Tammie Faye and a Rose Parade float. I can’t see you like this.

9. If the blush encompassing my entire face wasn’t enough, I have yet another unwanted entity sitting on my face, unrelated to makeup. That’s right, Oprah, I have a huge zit on the left side of my chin.  Talk about embarrassing. I’m greeting people before I even get to them. My chin shows up 20 feet before the rest of my does! I thought there was a chance it would clear up so I could meet you, but that just isn’t the case. In fact, I even bought some “Super Strength Will suck the life out of your zit in 3 minutes or your money back” stuff hoping it would help. Sadly, it hasn’t, and I look the exact same way I did yesterday. Only with more blush and a zit the size of a large ferret dancing around my chin with each word I speak.

8. There is a very strange smell emanating from one of the cubicles in my office. I am very paranoid it is mine. It smells like someone put a fresh bag of kettle corn inside a squishy and explosive baby diaper and let it marinate for 2.5 hours. I keep sniffing, trying to inconspicuously catch where the pungency is coming from, but I can’t be certain. I hope it’s not my cubicle.

7. I am having a fat day. I know you can relate to this. I mean, I’ve watched your fluctuate in the 80s and early 90s to finally blossom into one fit chick. Anyway- you know what’ I’m saying. My shirt is getting tucked into my little stomach roll, so unattractive. I can’t have you see me like this.

I am having a zitty, smelly, blushy, fat day. I could stop in my countdown, walk away, and you would totally understand, but here is more, so much more.

6. There are a whole bunch of new eastern hires standing around dour office. They have been standing around and trading turns on the couch for 4 hours. It’s very awkward because They are staring at my screen and it’s freaking me out. On top of that, I stick out in the office because I look like a typical American and so they keep looking at me and I’m getting creeped. Oprah, I don’t want to add to the awkwardness. If you came in here a riot would ensue. I know these young bucks are huge fans of your successful made for TV movies, and I know they know who you are and appreciate you just like the next guy. However, I am certain things would get out of hand and you would feel overwhelmed. I know you’re not used to autographs and pictures and I wouldn’t want to scare you.

5. I walked into the bathroom earlier today (after I saw my scary blush) and saw I had a little microbooger on the tip of my nose. How much more embarrassing can my life get!!? Too much blush, a huge zit, a FAT DAY, AND a micro-booger!!!? These things are supposed to happen one at a time! Oh, Oprah, you’re not familiar with this term?

Sorry, let me catch you up to speed. A micro booger is a teeny tiny little hanging booger just out the cavity of your nose. It’s not terribly noticeable at first site, but trust me, people see you with it.

Therefore from the time I went to the restroom this morning and saw “Big Blush” to the time I saw “microbooger” I have been walking around with crap coming out of my nose none the wiser. Living my life and talking to people and everyone wants to throw up their tuna salad and I’m smiling and having no clue why everyone is rubbing their nose and giving me strange looks. JUST TELL ME! Don’t let me walk around looking even MORE stupid! Ugh. Oprah, do you feel my pain!?

4.I have a VERY, I mean VERY stressful and demanding job, Oprah. Even more high profile than yours. I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true. Today I was swamped with a load feedback, and then I was weighed down with meetings at AOL.com, and to top it off I am so stressed about finding new sandals for my Saturday deadline. Ugh! Crucial stuff Oprah! As you can see I don’t just leave work at the door when I come home. I bring these things home. I carry the weight of my shoulders, but someone has to do it. You understand, don’t you? I guess not. I mean, you only have your own production company and TV show. That’s not all that hectic.

3. I’m in training. That’s right. I’m working out tonight and can’t talk to anyone. It’s sort of the age old rule of no sex before a game because the guy needs to be focused. That’s the same with me except I’m all about the first thing and not all about having meaningful conversations today. That means Will wins and you lose. Sorry Oprah, I just can’t waste my sentences. I need to keep to myself and remained focused on the challenge before me.

2. As of 3:00 today I am taking a vow of silence- until 6:00, that is.  The only window I MIGHT have had to meet you would have been between 3 and 6, and I am not speaking then so we can’t meet. It would be me staring at you and you talking away all about A Million Little Pieces and everything in between. I just wouldn’t be much company.

1. Will wouldn’t let me.

Thanks for understanding my situation. I’m just too busy for you and can’t really squeeze you in right now.

I know I’ll see you again sometime. Until then, we’ll always have your show…

Your Friend,

Brittny

***If you haven’t already guessed, the Oprah thing appeared to be a bad rumor. Sigh…

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About

brittny I'm B-Love. Lover of God, my husband Will, my doggies, OU football, weight training, plyometrics healthy eating (mostly!), peanut butter, and all things health related. Buckle up and get ready for my constant embarrassing moments, health and fitness tips,and my effort to rely on Christ while living life in the real world. Follow me on Feedly! Sign up for monthly emails at blove@theblovelife.com!


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