I am absolutely positive that if someone handed me a container of vanilla frosting and a plastic spoon and guaranteed absolutely zero implications would result from eating the entire can, I would do it.

If it wouldn’t affect my skin, cellulite, attitude, weight, or anything else, it would totally happen. I would seriously sit there and eat the entire darn thing. At some point, I would have eaten most of the canister. And the spoon would just get in the way. Which means I would likely be up to my wrist in vanilla frosting trying to get the last.scoop.out.

Pathetic.

Which is pretty much what I nearly did over my pre-birthday birthday cake this week. Only sadly, no one promised that there wouldn’t be any negative implications. Which means that I made a poor, poor decision. A word from the wise today: don’t eat vanilla frosting. It will only leave you lumpy. I can only hope I have learned from this mistake and that next year, as I approach 30 (AHHHH) I will not have a repeat of the previous year.

Mainly because I will probably be lying on the floor in a sloppy stupor over the fact that I am no longer in my 20s.

Pass the frosting. 

Procrastinating. As if it was an assignment itself. I’ve never been much of a procrastinator. Until I started school. And then I became one. And then I became addicted to 5 Hour Energy drinks. And then I became great at hammering out giant papers in one weekend. And it has pretty much been an unhealthy and ugly cycle ever since. I am nearing one of those weekends very, very soon.

And then I have one more class.

Thank God.

Followed my a 30 hour comprehensive test.

In which I will repeat the above (energy drinks, hammering out papers in short duration, etc). And then I will be done.

Wow.

Do you even care?

Because I’m pretty sure all I talk (er complain!) about lately is school!

School!

Silly excuses.

Okay. Let’s stop talking about that. It’s not really that big of a deal. I’m hiding behind it as a way to justify my lack of creativity and time to set aside and compose a meaningful post.

Now I feel so behind in our chats that I don’t even know where to begin. Like- how I pretty much don’t eat meat or sugar or crap anymore.How my family is about to grow (you like how I hide that one all ambiguously and cryptic in the middle?). How Will and I are planning a fun trip. Now that’s what I’m talking about right!? See? That’s creative-ish.

Ish

Not totally there, but hey- better than school whines, right? That’s what I thought too.

I turn 29 this week, friends. TWENTY NINE.

And I’m struggling with it. I hope I make time to post about it and sort of work it out here. This seems to be the perfect medium to express thoughts such as these. I was 21 when I started posting on this blog, and it totally blows my mind that I have had this thing around as long as I have. Ha, if you go back and read some of the early posts it’s funny how young and goofy and silly they all are. I was such a baby. A baby pretending to be a grown up.

Funny. I still sort of feel like that from time to time. Yet here I am, standing at 30’s door.

29.

Sheesh.

Let’s tackle that after it happens, right? I mean, there IS life after 28 right?

More to come- from and older and much wiser Brittny.

I was certain I had posted something um, you know, after freaking THANKSGIVING of LAST YEAR. Only I just looked at my blog, and wow- that is definitely not the case.

I also shelled out a $100 to renew my domain and host. Why? No really- why? Silliness. For some reason I can’t let go of this pesky thing. It is such a big part of my past, and I do hope it is part of my future too. I am certain I will not be on for at least a few more months (and if I am it will be very, very sporadic). School really is weighing down on me and I just don’t feel right posting to my blog when I have oh, 25 journal articles to read and analyze and put into a freaking stupid dumb pointless paper. I don’t know why I feel that way, yet I do- and my lack of posting definitely backs me up.

I know I sound like a broken record but I have lots to share with you guys. Seriously lots. My world is changing more than I ever imagined and I am sad that I haven’t shared anything along the way. I promise to give you a full story so you do not feel as though you missed a minute of the big news. So that is definitely a disappointment, but the good thing is that once I do finally get out from under this rock of pain I call school, I will be able to catch you all up.

Ha, I said “you all.” As if I still have people that follow this poor neglected site.

Let’s try ME all.

That is more accurate.

Oh, and I am getting the utter CRAP spamed out of me (which I find hilarious, by the way. Really? You’re going to spam a blog no one ever reads or posts on. Brilliant!) so I’ve taken off comments until I can give my blog the proper care it deserves. And unfortunately, I cannot do that now.

Anyway, this is me checking in and saying hi. Not promising anything at all but that I will be back mid year to pick up where we left off. I really, really miss blogging. I find stupid papers daunting and unnecessary and just plain pointless. Blogging is way more fun, right?

Right.

See you soon. More to come.

I got bored last weekend.

I took pictures.

Not even good ones.

Just sloppy ones.

But, eh? When you see what they’re pictures of- it won’t be that big of a deal anyway.

I do lots of cooking for the week on Sundays in an effort to eat healthily (um, except for some reason this weekend I forgot that was the plan. Boo.). Will, God love him, is not into this lifestyle.

But we’ll get to all that later.

Anyway- here’s a peek into my fridge and some of the things I have in my house most of the time. I’m thinking at the end of this post you’re going to have to share the randomness in yours.

So here we go.

Oh- actually wait.

My fridge, as you can see below, is a MESS. A big one. Remember a few posts down how I talked about how my house used to be immaculate until I started school? Yeah, the fridge is part of that. Ooh! I’m cleaning it in July. Maybe if I remember we’ll capture that in pictures too!

Um, on second thought… nah.

Welcome to my refrigerator!

And my freezer!

I keep this edamame on hand most of the time. They come in individual microwavable bags that are so so great. I make them a lot when Will and I go to the movies. He used to be embarrassed when I’d literally whip out a bag of soybeans- with a separate bag to throw away the pods.

But now he just comes to expect the humiliation.

I figure it’s better than licking the butter from his popcorn bag, or even worse, eating tons and leaving him with the tiny annoying pieces at the bottom that everyone hates. So really, it’s a win-win for both of us.

I LOVE these things. I always have them in my house for a million different uses. I add them to yogurt, oatmeal, use them for smoothies, eat them plain and frozen… you get the idea.

I always have a giant five pound bag of fish in my house at all times. Will hates fish, so it’s all mine. I made the mistake of getting whiting this past time and I don’t think I’ll do it again. I usually get tilapia or cod. Occassionally salmon or tuna. I eat fish several times a week so I go through a bag really fast!

I wish I could get Will to like ground turkey. He’s never tried it because he thinks he won’t like it. He’s very picky. And it annoys me. But at the same time allows me to eat healthy. But we’ll get to that later. Oh- and we’ll get to what this turkey made later too!

Yep. Braum’s ice cream. I know it says frozen yogurt, which would make you think that it’s mine, but it’s actually Will’s. This flavor was definitely not their best, so this has actually been sitting in the freezer for a while. Nice.

This pizza is definitely not something I’d typically buy because Will won’t eat it- “because it’s that healthy crap.” I, however, think it sounds really good. Want to come over and share it with me?

I really like these veggies. They’re supposed to be two servings (what a joke, right?), but I always eat one whole one. They’re only about 100 calories for the whole thing, so it’s definitely healthy too. And good with fish.

Ah stir fry. Something Will actually eats in here!

Let’s dig through my fridge now, shall we?

I buy three containers of this stuff every week. Greek yogurt is so good for you and has so much more protein than regular yogurt. I buy the plain and use it for everything! As a substitute for sour cream, with protein powder, for my smoothies, mixed with my frozen berries, plain with cinnamon and splenda… you get the point.

Yes. I literally open my fridge and am faced with this temptation EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. It’s tough, I’m not going to lie. I put one in Will’s lunch everyday (remember that part earlier where I told you he doesn’t eat healthy?) And everyday I do so, those candy bars call out to me. Especially the Three Musketeers. They act all self righteous and healthy since they’re a “low fat” candy bar. Who do those guys think they are anyway!?

Ah yes, let’s look down a bit into the crisper! Lots of goodies here! I had lots of salads this past week, complete with all sorts of yummy stuff.

Ooh! And this week’s protein shake! This made four days worth of shakes (at 238 calories a piece and about 20 grams of protein. Yay!). I love the purple-y pink color.

Ah yes, my dear friend. The protein powder. Without getting into exercise and protein consumption and blah, blah, blah boring you a lot (ha- as if this whole post wasn’t doing the trick anyway!), this stuff is great.

Especially when coupled with this. Trust me. You can’t do a high protein diet without this stuff. No need to elaborate, right?

And finally, my mini turkey meatloaves! I made these last weekend and have eaten them all week. I made the baby ones on the left as snacks. I just think they’re so darn cute and had to share.

So there you have it, my fridge. Whatcha got cookin’ out of yours? I’m coming over! 

I literally sat in dog puke for an hour last night.

It was only when I got up and Will looked at the couch and said, “I think a dog threw up a little on the couch!” that I realized that a dog had in fact thrown up.

And I had sat in it.

For at least an hour.

And had no clue.

It’s been one of those days all week…

(and I’m done with my class next week which means I owe you a really big giant update)

Okay- before we go any further. stop what you’re doing, and go read the third bullet here.

You’re thinking, “Eh- there’s no need for me to go read that post. I hate reading linked posts. I know you’re type.

I’m your type. I get it.

...

Okay, now that you’re back and get that I’m completely crazy (you know… incase the above outburst wasn’t telling enough), here’s something that might make you laugh a little this fine Monday morning.

Monday

Tuesday

Wedneday

Thursday

I was running pretty late that day therefore did not have time to document that yes, I did bloody hell remember to unplug the straightener.

Friday

Now- don’t be fooled. I know at first glance you’re thinking, “Hey! That’s the exact same picture!” Only it’s not. Trust me, it’s not.

Let’s take a closer look, shall we?

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Mission Failure.

Friday

I woke to Boz violently gagging at 1:42 a.m. this morning.

Turns out the kid had barfed everywhere.

Oh sorry- not everywhere. That would imply that there was no place for me to step, or that I needed a fire hose to adequately clean my house.

That was not the case.

He did, however, puke six different times, in six different places.

That was fun.

Especially in the middle of the night.

It was like an early Easter egg hunt.

Only there was most definitely no chocolate bunny at the end of the trail.

Happy Friday! 

I have not forgotten about you sweet blog! Quite the contrary.

Contrary?

Who says contrary?

I mean, besides 80 year old librarians and Mary Poppins.

Quite the contrary.

Nice.

I wonder if I’ve ever said, “quite the contrary” on this blog before?

If I was feeling proactive, I’d do a search.

But I’m not.

Plus I’m pretty sure I haven’t. I mean- I’ve posted about this and this and even this on here. There’s no way I’m saying something all formal and serious like “quite the contrary” on this blog.

I know what it is, though.

It’s school.

You start graduate school and all of a sudden start annoying the crap out of everyone around you-

To include yourself.

All of a sudden you become a deep critical thinker, analyzing each and every thing. From the way the news anchor says “could,” to the way the back of the ceral box reads. Everything suddenly has deeper meaning and absolutely can’t be taken at face value.

“You’re telling me you’re hungry… but are you really hungry? What is hunger? Do you speak of spiritual hunger? Academic hunger?...”

See? Annoying. Turns out Will was just hungry. In the very literal, “Whataburger with cheese and a large fry” sort of way.

BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT “I’M HUNGRY” MEANS.

And then you start saying stupidly long ridiculous words you’d never normally say in casual conversations with friends. Words like loquacious or nefarious. Who the hell says loquacious when they’re talking about football coaches!?

No one!

And then at some point you realize, “Hmm… someone just saw me blow a giant bubble with my watermelon Hubba Bubba bubble gum. Something seems incongruent here.”

Incongruent!?!

There you go again!

Let’s put it this way- if I’m not annoying you yet, I’m annoying everyone around me. And if I’m not annoying those people yet (and trust me- I am. I really, really am)? Well, I’m annoying myself. Moreso than normal. 

I’m not sure what hurts the most- introducing incredibly unnecessary words into my previously limited vocabulary as well as analyzing every.single.thing.ever-

or knowing I have over a year left of this scholastic pain.

Definitely the last one.

I am indubitably convinced it is the latter.

It only took us almost seven years, but Will and I recently joined the league of married adults- actually… adults in general- and purchased our first alarm clock.

Yep. Seven years. No alarm.

Weirdos.

We’ve used each of our phones as our alarms throughout our entire marriage, but after a couple of malfunctions we decided we probably should grow up and get a freaking alarm clock so we can slam the crap out of the snooze button in style.

I suddenly feel much more responsible and self aware. As if I’ll be on time to all events now. All because of our alarm clock.

I’m lying.

I just seemed like the right thing to say.

Speaking of time. I’m not making good use of mine.

Well… I guess I wouldn’t go that far. Blogging is defintiely good use of my time!

However, I could probably make better use of my time by working on this stupid paper I have to do for school.

That’s what I need. A life alarm. Like one that has my entire day rigidly scheduled- 2 hours for my paper, 1 hour 8 minutes to get ready in the morning, 13 minutes to post to my blog.

How great/annoying would that be?

Instead I’m forced to be my own time manager.

Which means I probably need to stop droning on about alarm clocks and start droning on about cyber bullying. Both equally entertaining. Ha.

More to come…

I start school today.

UGH.

The break was so so wonderful.

Remind me again why I’m willingly doing this?

Don’t bother. I have to go read now.