I locked myself out of the house this afternoon.

But wait- there’s more.

There’s always more.

I keep waiting for a time in which my bad fortune no longer follows me, however that time has yet to come and once again reared its ugly head in the form of a locked door today.

Let’s get started.

Okay. So today is Will’s birthday. Yay for Will’s birthday!

I was determined to make today great.

Which was my first mistake.

I should know by now that if I’m out to make a day great something is lurking around the corner to squash my plans.

Will I ever learn?

Work was really busy all morning and I really needed to work through lunch, however I thought it might be a good idea to run home today, check on the doggies, and grab a quick lunch- which is what I did.

As I finished my lunch I noticed it was raining pouring outside. I thought I better get an umbrella to take with me to avoid the downpour, only I realized my umbrella was in my car- and Will had my car today.

Aha! I remembered I had a random umbrella out in the garage. So- barefoot and all I ran out to the garage (closing the door behind me, of course) and grabbed the umbrella. As I went to enter the house it happened.

The door wouldn’t open.

I then began to feel a little panicky, sick to my stomach and started experincing that yucky upper lip sweat.

I pryed and jolted and yelled (you know- because yelling always unlocks bolted doors) but nothing happened.

I then got the genius idea to use a screwdriver to leverage the door between the frame.

Um, the terrible dig marks in the door frame clearly yell, “That wasn’t a good idea you freaking moron!!!”

Yeah- so don’t do that.

So then I began to get totally irrational and ridiculous. Like a mad woman. “I know, I’ll run and thrust my body against the door to force it open!”

Okay- so I didn’t really do that, but trust me- I was quite irrational nonetheless.

So… what to do, what to do…

I had a pair of nasty old tennis shoes and a pair of tacky black cheap-o flip flops.

Choices, choices.

I lifted the garage, opened my umbrella and started knocking on doors up and down my street.

In the rain.

The pouring rain.

In a pretty white dress.

A pretty white dress.

In tacky black cheap-o flip flops (I figured that went better with my dress… in that trashy sort or, “I like to dress up but have no regard for what I wear on my feet” sort of way).

No one answered.

Why would they? They were al at work- where I needed to be.

Up and down the street. Finally! Someone answered. This woman across the street had just had a baby and was home- thank God for your baby woman! It was if God allowed you to have your kid so you would be home at this exact.moment.in.time.

Okay- so maybe not, but it did feel a little like a divine moment after trudging up and down my neighborhood in the pouring rain, pretty white dress, and tacky flip flops.

Anyway- she was gracious enough to let me in and use the phone. I called Will- who was not in town today (of course!). He told me to call a locksmith and work it out that way.

Oh- and he was annoyed that I managed to lock myself out.

Happy birthday honey!

Anyway, the lady told me that she could just go ahead and take me back to work so that I wouldn’t have to wait for a locksmith and pay for him to come out. I thought it was so nice of her to offer. I have very nice neighbors. I graciously accepted, took my tacky flip flops, got in her car and went back to work.

As we rode back I realized that there were a few bad things I had failed to think through when deciding not to call the locksmith.

1. My purse was in the truck, totally exposed for all the world to see and steal.

Genius Brittny.

Will tells me time after time, “Brittny- bring your purse inside and don’t leave it in the car!” And for once in my life he was so very right (actually, he’s always right about this one...). My freaking locked house was beyond safe at this point. I could most certainly confirm all doors were locked! Sigh…

Then there were the doggies.

The doggies stay in a kennel all day long because you may remember they’re quite naughty and cannot be trusted to roam around the house all alone.

Just recall this post or this one or this one.

Good times.

Anyway- they’re bad doggies and cannot be trusted.

And I had left them in the house.

All alone.

Home alone doggies.

To roam free.

And chew my wood.

And the shoes I was wearing as of 11:30 this morning and should have been wearing as I was riding to work.

I could just imagine what was happening to my house.

What a mistake to leave them out!

Sigh…

Will loved finding that out.

Oh- and I didn’t tell him. I just let him come home and be surprised.

Surprise! Happy birthday!

Anyway… it’s been quite a day.

Will picked me up from work and I felt back because I had to have him drive me to get his cake oh- and I had intended to get his birthday card on the way home too. Opps.

So- there you have it.

There’s probably a ton more I’m leaving our and need to share but Will wants me to watch “Dating in the Dark” tonight because this guy on his favorite sports talk radio was talking about how funny it was.

I think it’s weird.

But hey- it’s his birthday, and I did leave our kids home alone today.

Oh- and locked myself out.

Let’s not forget that one.

Genius. 

It’s only Monday and my brain seems to be enjoying its three day weekend early.

I honestly feel like a restless fifth grader during the last week of school. I’m finding it so hard to concentrate and stay on track. All I can think about is swimming this weekend and being lazy and fireworks and fun (um and loads of terrible food- followed by the gym of course… perhaps...).

I think the dog days of summer have hit me hard. Our neighborhood is full of kids and I secretly envy them everyday I get home from my work, clad in my dress clothes and clunky purse. I’m fully convinced our school system sets us up to drag during this time of the year as professional adults. I mean- you get three whole months off your entire life and then all of a sudden- BAM- the no fun zone. The occasional single day off observed on Memorial Day, 4th of July, and Labor Day.

Um- yes, I’m whining- but I secretly think you agree.

Or at least I like to think so.

I’ve been humming, “School’s Out for Summer” all day today- and it’s killing me slowly.

I think I like Monday holidays better than Friday holidays. I think I stay on track better. I have no idea why- so let’s not camp out here.

I have a few pictures to share with you guys I’ll have to post soon, and a short little video of our little Patriot babies! Our groomer always dresses the dogs up in the cutest little bandannas for each season. Right now they’re all red, white, and blue- it’s so cute. I’ve been calling them all sorts of random made up Patriotic names, big long ones that annoy Will. Like, Little Lucy Martha Washington or General Bosworth John Hancock. I’m loving it. Will isn’t. But I secretly think he does.

But I’m probably wrong.

I usually am about those sorts of things.

You would think his annoyance would prompt me to stop- but it only spurs me on. You’re so lucky you don’t live with me. I would most certainly drive you crazy. There are times in which I think Will is on the edge- but I think that’s why God gave me someone so freakishly strong and stubborn. Nothing is going to drive this man crazy, not even me.

So what are you guys doing for the 4th? Are you taking time off this week? Going out of town? Hanging out with lots of friends? Guys- all this talk is making me want to start our weekend of festivities early! Let’s have a potluck at my place this Thursday? Yay for cook outs with friends! Um- only we still don’t have a grill (depressing, I know) and the George Foreman? Frankly. It sucks. I should reserve this frustration for its own post.

However- I will sarcastically say, “Clean up is SO easy!” HA. have you ever tried to clean that thing? You literally need a freaking car sponge followed by a brillo pad, acid, and holy water.

But I digress.

So, perhaps the cookout won’t work as easily at my place-unless you want to load up your grill and come over? If you’re lucky I might even get all wild and crazy on you guys and breakout the sparklers!

I know- I’m out of control!

Sigh… it’s only Monday night and sadly I have several long and busy days ahead of me.

Here’s to happy thoughts of swimming, (finally) getting tan, eating, friends, fun, and freedom.

Happy Short Week!

1. The weekend wasn’t as bad as anticipated.

2. Pictures are posted and I think they turned out pretty good. I think Will needs to wear a tux everyday.

3. I never became more aware of the fact that Will and I truly and seriously treat our dogs like real life children more than I did this weekend. I listened to all our family members with kids and the little common trigger phrases they said and thought to myself, “Wow… I say that too. To my dogs. I think Will and I need help.”

4. I actually thought about kids this weekend (as in maybe having them one day down the road) and sort of freaked out but sort of did not. Long story short- I saw a lot of couples this weekend with small kids that seemed miserable (not with their children, but with their spouse) and it freaked me out. At the same time I thought about how I also know a lot of people that seem even happier with their spouse. I guess some of that could have been because of the circumstance (um I’m pretty sure traveling and having to stay up late for a family dinner can make EVERYONE grumpy). What do you think?

5. I honestly wore more makeup than the bride this weekend and felt a little ridiculous. She’s very simple and I so should have remembered that. Eh- I don’t get to dress up much so I figured I might as well do it right.

6. The AC in our truck went out. Thankfully it went out on the way home and not on the way there. I’m certain Will and I would have ended up in marital counseling had it gone out before. Have I mentioned I turn into a raging psychopath when I get hot? Probably not.

7. I felt really old Sunday when I went to bed at around 8:30.

8. I like Will’s family- despite what I say on my website sometimes. I’m pretty lucky to have his family in my life. I could definitely have worse- and realized that this weekend.

9. I didn’t even get to dance with Will at the reception. :( Do you know the last time we danced was back in 2002 when we met in ballroom dancing class!? I thought I was getting a dancer, but um- notsomuch. The 3 or 4 times they had a slow song Will was helping to get the bride’s overnight bag into Dr. Vet’s car, or tagging the car, or something else. Will and I were going to dance to the last slow song they played, but Dr. Vet and Mrs. Dr. Vet snatched us up and we danced with them instead. Oh well. Hopefully someone else will get married soon?

10. I’m beyond behind on reading and commenting on your blogs. Therefore I’m turning off comments today until I catch up. Sorry I’m a sucky blog friend but I promise to catch up soon. 

A nearby community is holding their annual Woofstock event this weekend, and I’ve literally been excited for weeks.

Weeks.

Poor Will has had to hear me drone on and on about Woofstock this and that and how much fun it will be and “maybe we’ll meet some nice people.”

Only there is an underlying predicament which needs to be addressed:

Which dog(s) are we bringing to Woofstock?

Yes- it has become a “predicament.”

Sad, I know.

It’s like being Charlie from Willy Wonka and having a bright shiny golden ticket into a whole new world of amazement and perfection and dog utopia- but can only bring one dog.

What a toughie!

I would say we’d bring all 4- but are you kidding me!? Not only would Wil and I end up in marriage counseling from all the, “You’re letting the dogs walk YOU! Get ahold of them, Britter! How did you manage to let go of the leash!? Teddy has officially taken out the Woofie Snack Table!”

It would go something like that= and that’s just the way WE would behave. That doesn’t even count the way the dogs would behave.There’s just no way we could bring all four. It would be pandemonium and we would most certainly end up blacklisted from any furture Woof event.

So- I’m leaning towards taking one Big and one Little.

But who!?

Lucy would represent the “Littles,” but I’m not sure who will represent the Bigs.

Rocky is by far our best behaved dog. He is so loving and wants to please you and is very obedient. However, I’m apprehensive to bring him because of the fact that he’s so freaking gigantic and I don’t want to overload him with a million dogs to play with. He’d be hard to keep on a tight leash because he’s so strong- and although obedient, I know he would want to go play with the other dogs.

Teddy, however, is WAY terrible. We call her Marley because she’s so hyper and has been difficult to train. She’s most definitely our most beautiful dog, however, she’s just so darn hyper and jumpy that I know she would maul everyone in sight with her excited-ness.

It appears as though I’m analyzing my dogs for you guys:

a. Like they’re children

b. Like you freaking care

Trust me- I realize that both are ridiculous.

So- I’m leaning towards me carrying Lucy in a carrier while Will keeps Rocky on a leash- because he’s way more capable of maintaining a leash than I am.

Wow.

Listen to me.

I make fun of people like me.

Weeks, guys, weeks! That’s how long I’ve been talking about this weekend.

About an event- for dogs!

I seriously need to get out more.

Although I’m beginning to realize how ridiculous I sound about my Woofstock zealousness, I will most certainly post pictures for you all to share in our fun.

<3

This weekend was lovely. It was simple and nothing extravagant, it was just nice.

Friday night was very uneventful. I made a pork loin and mashed potatoes for dinner and we watched our FRIENDS boxset. I was asleep on the couch before 10. I’m so fun.

We went to IHOP for breakfast yesterday. I love the place and Will isn’t the biggest fan- which to me is a big way to show love. In these economic times taking me to IHOP is like buying me a tennis bracelet… or something like that.

I love breakfast.

After breakfast I went to the gym to undo some of the pancakes.

It didn’t work.

We hung around the house, got around, and went to Zios for lunch! I ate bad. Really bad. Then we went to see Dave Ramsey. I really enjoyed hearing the things he had to say. I’ve always been interested by him, so it was really good to hear him speak. His thoughts are very enlightening and practical. Things you know about but don’t put into action or use the tools to put together. He’s speaking for the next two weeks and Will and I have decided to go back to hear what else he has to say.

Our evening concluded with taking care of the doggies and making a trip for ice cream.

You know- to round the whole awful night of carnage out on a good note.

Today was nice. Since we went to service last night, we got to sleep in today. It was wonderful. In fact, I haven’t brushed my hair (um-or teeth. Yuck!) all day.

I made us breakfast and we lounged around and were very lazy!

Will and I took the “Bigs” on a walk around the neighborhood, and as always, they were highly um- “spirited-” and took me on a walk. I had to switch off mid trip and walk Rocky instead of Teddy. Although Rocky weighs a million pounds, he’s a lot more subdued than Teddy most of the time.

We came back to the house and watched the bracket b-ball “thing” (ha ha I’m so technical). We ate dinner and then decided to take the “Littles” on a walk too. Only- they don’t walk. We do the walking and hold them close. I’m sure it’s annoying to watch, but we don’t mind. They’re sort of spoiled.

We spent a lot of time talking all day today. Talking about the things we learned about the night before, talking about how we need to set goals, what those goals were, what potential timelines were… it was really nice. It’s been a long time since Will and I have talked like that- probably since Kuwait! It was nice. It made me feel close to Will, and reminded me that we’re a team and need to set some goals we can attain. I think going to see Dave Ramsey was really good for us and I look forward to next week.

It’s simple weekends like this that make me thankful for the things I have- and also wishing a little for a three day weekend.

I normally don’t post “what I did” entries, but for some reason I wanted to round out the “Will and Brittny” week with a bit of a recap.

It just seems right.

More to come.

Once upon a time in a land far far away-

we’ll call this land Happyville-

Two kindhearted people- Bill and Whitney- met, fell in love, and decided to get married and call it a day in a small village outside the heart of Happyville.

Life was good.

Soon after getting settled Bill and Whitney decided their life was missing something. Sure it was swell and loads of good times, but something still seemed lacking.

So Bill and Whitney decided it was time to bring two little precious babies into their life, Roz and Suzy.

Roz and Suzy added an element of fun and surprise into Bill and Whitney’s life. It was just what they needed.

Life continued to tick on in the world of Happyville, and Bill and Whitney continued to enjoy their time with each other as well as Roz and Suzy.

Before they knew it two years had passed from the time they welcomed their little babies into their family. They were full grown and closer to Bill and Whitney more than ever.

Life was good.

One day, however, Bill looked at his wife and said, “Whitney, I think our family is still missing something.”

“You really think so?” she questioned. After all- they had two beautiful children, a house outside of Happyville, and season tickets to the Boomers - their favorite soccer team.

“What could possibly be missing?” she thought.

“I feel like our family needs to grow just a little more. I’ve always wanted two bigger babies- big beastly ones that play outside in the grass and protect our little house from the Ogres of Stillwater.”

Whitney was skeptical. Very skeptical. She was happy with her little life with Bill, Roz, and Suzy. Was there really need to grow it any larger?

With big beastly babies- at that?

Bill was persistent, and Whitney finally decided beastly outside babies couldn’t be all bad. Perhaps she would grow to love them as much as Roz and Suzy.

So- Bill and Whitney decided it was time to add to their little family, and so it was.

Betty and Jocky joined the family as the beautiful outside beastly babies Bill had always hoped for.

Once again life was good.

Whitney was not accustomed to large outside beastly babies, and so it took some warming up to them day-by-day. She soon began to grow fond of them, even volunteering to feed and walk them.

However, things would take a slight turn for the worse.

One day when Whitney arrived home she had a surprise at her door- the Happyville village Knights of Safety!

Apparently Betty and Jocky were being especially beastly and obnoxious that day- causing a disturbance among the other villagers. Whitney was terribly embarrassed for causing such a raucous and began to contemplate whether adding to her perfect little family was a wise decision.

Bill reassured her that Betty and Jocky were still baby beasts and as they began to grow things would get better. This seemed to easy Whitney’s mind-

and life was good.

Days and weeks went on and things seemed to return to normal. No surprise knocks on the door- which was good. However, Betty and Jocky began to grow

and grow

and grow.

They grew into giants- far taller than any of the Ogres of Stillwater Whitney had ever seen!

With their new bodies came new behaviors-behaviors with Bill and Whitney were not accustomed. Roz and Suzy never behaved in such a manner so it was very new.

Jocky and Betty would sleep all day and play all night- growling and howling and barking until the wee hours of the morning. Bill spent many nights back and forth between bed and the couch making sure he quiet them at a moment’s notice to ensure the village Knights of Safety would not arrive at their house. Bill and Whitney always seemed to be tired.

“These outside beasts were not supposed to be so difficult!” they thought to themselves.

Jocky and Betty soon began to eat everything in sight as well- Bill’s shoes which he accidentally left outside, the spout covers, grass, doggie poo… you name it- they ate it.

They also destroyed the yard. Remnants of chewed toys, trash, and junk were spread throughout the entire area. Ugly dirt holes took the place of pretty, green lush grass. Whitney was embarrassed of what she called her “White Trash Backyard.” It was awful. Trashy, holey, muddy, and yucky. Totally unfit for the yards in Happyville.

Although awkward and obnoxious puppies, Bill and Whitney continued to love them, slowing training them good behavior and rewarding their good efforts.

However, one night Jocky and Betty crossed the line.

They interrupted Bill’s sattelite feed- making it impossible to watch his Boomer games.

Bill awoke to a strange crunching noise. He went to the outside door and screamed in horror. Betty and Jocky had chewed the entire cable in half, rendering the TV completely useless.

In their fun they destroyed Bill’s most favorite thing in the whole world- his TV box.

Whitney hadn’t seen Bill so down since the time the Boomers made it to the Big Game and lost to Crocodiles.

Bill was down in the dumps.

Whitney inspired him to work on the wires- to see if it would be possible to have some TV.

Bill reluctantly gave it a shot.

As it turned out- Bill and Whitney still had TV access but no recording capability-

which was still bad but far better than initially thought.

Bill and Whitney put their heads together and built a protective barrier around the remaining cords- which “enhanced” the already trashy looking yard.

And in some strange way- Jocky and Betty seemed to know they were grounded- very, very grounded and began to be a little less beastly and a little more mannerly.

Bill and Whitney continued to work on good behavior- and Jocky and Betty began to react in such a way.

Not always-

but sometimes.

At this point- during the “puppydom” period- Bill and Whitney lived for sometimes.

Bill and Whitney continued to grow their affections for Jocky and Betty-

but agreed that they would not need any more beasts- outside or inside for a long, looong time.

Life was once again good in their little Happyville village existence-

and Bill, Whitney, Roz, Suzy, Jocky, and Betty lived happily-

which occassional bumps in the road-

but nonetheless happily.

<3

”Marley & Me was such a great movie. It makes me want to go home and attack our doggies with love.”

“It was a good movie. It made me think a lot about having to say goodbye to ours one day.”

“I know, it hurts my heart and makes me really sad. I mean, to think that one day we’re going to watch them get older and not as agile as they once were. It’s going to be hard to watch.”

“I know… but it’s the same with people. Family.”

silence.

“Yeah I know, but I like our dogs a lot more than our families.”

So today we had a little visitor come to our house.

Let’s play the guessing game!

The guess who came to my house game!

Okay ready set go!

...

Okay, I guess it won’t really work as I had envisioned.

I guess I should just come out and tell you.

The cops.

The freaking cops came to my little quaint suburban house.

THE FREAKING COPS.

And do you know why the cops came to my house?

Because one of our freaking neighbors behind us called to complain about our barking dogs.

They didn’t leave us a warning note in our mailbox saying if we didn’t shut our freaking dogs up that they would call the cops- you know, like a three strikes thing,

They didn’t come over to meet us or make sure that it was in fact our dogs that were the ones barking (because- we literally have dogs on all sides of us except one),

but instead did a drive-by of our house to get our address and report us to freaking 911.

911!! That number gets called when there’s a fire or murder or no ice cream at Dairy Queen-

not when a dog is barking! Freaking call us- you know!?

What makes the whole thing even more irritating is that we literally are surrounded by people with dogs- barking dogs.

Okay- so I admit I have a freaking zoo at my house, but that doesn’t mean it’s our dogs and no one elses’.

The biggest issue is that Boz and Lucy are barkers- annoying piercing barkers. I don’t think they called on Rocky and Teddy. Rotts are traditionally not barkers (and in fact, I’ve never even heard Rocky bark-weird, right?), and Teddy barks but it’s nothing out of the ordinary and is only occasionally. Boz and Lucy, however, are the loudies. I’m pretty sure if someone called the cops on us- and took the time to drive by our house to get our address and ensure it was our dogs and no others it was because of Boz and Lucy and not Rocky and Teddy.

Boz and Lucy are our inside dogs, however, when we’re gone during the day we leave them in the garage, which is pretty much like leaving them outside in terms of noise carrying. We’re pretty sure that’s what sparked the call.

So- we’re not totally innocent and Will and I agree we have to do something with our stupid little barkers (ha ha, stupid little barkers. I’m going to be a great mom someday… so uplifting), but at the same time I am so enraged.

Yes!

Enraged!

I feel like our neighbors could have handled the situation better. I feel very angry with them for not going about the matter a little more neighborly. I told Will I wanted to go confront them on the matter- especially if it is one of the neighbors that has dogs that bark too. Will had to calm me down. I was seriously about to start knocking on doors like a crazy person tonight. Like a freaking lunatic cat woman- only with dogs…

hmm… it made sense in my mind.

Anyway- I just need to post because my blood pressure is sky high and I’m so so so so so (yes 5 sos!) angry at our neighbors and the fact that it’s the Christmas season and we live in a nice neighborhood and we are surrounded by barking dogs and we’re always friendly to others on our street and then have to have the freaking cops come to our house! What the hell happened to Good Tidings of Comfort and Joy!?! Apparently that’s gone out the window! Merry Christmas to you too you Scrooge neighbors! I bet you guys were the ones who voted against the home association pool too!

I know Boz and Lucy are yappy and annoying from time to time with the mailman comes or someone pulls into our driveway- and Will and I are going to have to fix that, but I simply needed to vent because I feel that their barking today did not warrant the cops coming to our house.

So you may disagree with me and think it was totally warranted, and that is probably because of your own personal experience with constantly loud dogs, but what really burns me is that ours are nothing of the sort. Boz and Lucy dogs bark, but like I said it’s when someone comes to the door or does something that you would expect a dog to respond to by barking.

...

This post was supposed to calm me down and make me feel a little more like a normal functional society member, however, the more I type the madder I get!

“Be a duck, Brittny.” (you know- let stuff roll off my back)

That’s what Will says, but I can’t. At least not tonight. I’m so fired up about what happened!

Sigh…

You think I’m crazy, don’t you?

You think I’m a crazy weirdo lady that has 50 million dogs in some sort of sketchy puppy mill sort of backyard set up that howl and bark and growl and grunt all day long.

I promise, I don’t.

I’m just really hot over what happened and needed to blow off some steam.

Only it’s not working

and I still feel like going across the street to talk to these people or creating a banner to hang on the front of the house that says something really tacky about how our neighbors have lice.. or gas… or both (heh heh, just kidding… kind of).

I guess I just need to let it go.

But I don’t want to.

(throwing a child-like fit)

Get yourself together woman! You’re talking ridiculous!

I know! I know!

I need to get my crap together… good tidings of comfort and joy, good tidings of comfort and joy…

okay, I feel a little more in the Christmas spirit.

I ought to go make them some christmas banana bread and be all sweet and kill them with kindness, right?

...

or I could just spike it with exlax and leave it on the doorstep.

Just kidding…

Exlax bread… we’re such great neighbors. Who wouldn’t want to live next to us?

All I can think is- the home association meeting next month sure will be fun. Lots and lots of fun.

I’ll bring the bread. 

My Bozzy has a trick that quite possibly might be the cutest thing EVER! He plays peekaboo!

This video was taken earlier this year after he had his manhood removed- for the second time (you might remember… long story), hence the stiches reference and close-up of his,

well,

you know.

Anyway, I have a million videos of him doing this and this one isn’t all that great, but it was the shortest and had decent lighting.

So- please dote over my genius child:

As promised, I’m preparing to write more than anyone will ever care to read- but hey- I promised one huge puke fest of information so that’s what I’m going to deliver!

I posted my pictures early this morning. I went to bed at 2 Friday night and 2 last night because I was saving, naming, and organizing 50,383 pictures. Just looking at them makes me so happy. Guys, it was the best trip I’ve ever taken and I so wish I were enjoying it all over again. Here’s an extremely short recap of the amazing and adventurous 20 days- oh- and like I mentioned in my last post, my pictures match accordingly in the Mediterranean Cruise Collection so follow along. Ha ha I sound like a teacher.

Day 1- Surprisingly enough I found P with no trouble at all. The Rome airport isn’t all I was building it up to be. We met at the baggage claim, got on our bus, and went to the ship! Easy enough- thank goodness.

Day 2- We were in Florence and Pisa this day. It was a 12 hour tour so we were exhausted at the end. Plus it was hot- so yeah, sweaty girls aren’t fun girls. In Florence we say several beautiful churches and made time for some authentic gelato. P and I also wandered to a quaint little tavern for some famous Italian Chianti. It was such a great day. The night on the ship- as every night- was spent in the formal dining room, watching the cheesy show, and people watching (which consisted of nicknames and making up stories about who they were and where they came from)- followed by late night tea and or ice cream and burgers.

We were so healthy.

Day 3- We were in Monte Carlo, Monaco. It’s so beautiful there. We saw the palace and the church where the famous Princess Grace lies. We also saw the Monaco race track and the extra famous Monte Carlo Casino. It was really hot that day so P and I ended up sitting on a bench near the casino and chilling out. My parents called while we were lounging, so that was a nice surprise. It was a really nice day.

Day 4- At sea. It was full of lots of laziness, relaxing, and eating. Repeat.

Day 5- Barcelona baby! It was such a great day. Barcelona is full of amazing architecture so that was a treat. We started our trip going to 3 different restaurants trying tapas. Yum! Afterwards, we saw the famous Gaudi church. It makes me sad that it’s taken literally over a hundred years for this masterpiece to be built- and it’s still not even finished! I think that could be a good Sunday school lesson- how God uses our lifetime on Earth to build his masterpiece. P and I visited a Starbucks because we decided that’s something you must do in Barcelona.

Day 6- Mallorca! Mallorca is beautiful. The town of Valldemossa is stunning. Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones have a house out there and I can fully understand why. It’s such a quiet little area. I enjoyed our time there. We also spent some time at a beautiful vineyard in the mountains there where we sampled 3 different wines. It was such a nice little afternoon.

Day 7- Remember what we did on day 4? Yeah, it was more of that. But at this point we figured out how to maximize our cheese platter ordering, ice cream trips, and late night pizza.

Day 8- Today we were in Tunisia- and it was HOT (hence why there are no pictures of us in that set). We saw Carthage, which was okay. We agree that part of it looked like they just threw some rocks on the ground and said, “Hey! Let’s call this place Carthage!” but then we saw some more areas that were more legitimate. Afterwards we went to Si Bou Said, which is a souk of sorts. P and I bought these really pretty Eye and Hand of Fatima charms which we’ll put on a necklace. Sort of a modern day BFF necklace if you will. It’s something so ingrained in the culture where we live(d) so it was special to buy them.

Day 9- Palermo, Sicily. Guys- this was the greatest excursion ever! We made our way into the mountains to see the Baroness di Salvo’s house, a very old dwelling that has been passed down. Soon after we arrived the Baroness herself put on a cooking class for us! She didn’t speak any English, so our guide translated as she made really delicious, classic Sicilian dishes. YUM! And then? Then carnage began. We figured we’d sample some small tastes of the things she made, but oh no. Not quite. Instead, they took us to this other room where we proceeded to eat,

and eat,

and eat.

Guys- we LITERALLY ate for THREE HOURS. 17 courses.

17 COURSES.

Um, hello immense sickness and fatness!

P and I finished around 3 that afternoon and didn’t eat again until a late breakfast the following morning.

Now that’s a Puke Fest.

Wait- I said I would never say that again, didn’t I? Sorry.

Oh- want to hear a funny side story? Although- I’m not sure if it will be funny since you weren’t there- but I’ll try guys! Okay- as we were feasting we were sharing a table with 2 older women. We were making small talk with them. We were talking about their families, and I had asked one of them how old her children were. The lady started rattling off the following, “Well- there’s 60, 65, 66, and 68.”

I slapped my hand on the table and called out a big hearty, “You look AMAZING!”

She looked at me like I was an idiot (and P did the same) and said, “Those are years, not ages.”

Right. Roger That.

Day 10-
Pompeii. I woke up feeling ill that morning and wasn’t thrilled about Pompeii (um- again why there’s no pictures of us that day!) Despite the yuckiness I had a great time. Those Romans were smarties. I enjoyed getting to see a few different places they inhabited while on the cruise. The Ruins of Pompeii was very interesting.

Day 11-
Rome (again). While we were on a 20 days cruise, some were on a 10 day. Today was the day we dropped those people off and got a whole new bunch of 10 dayers for the Eastern Mediterranean Tour. P and I opted to stay on the ship and have a lazy docked day at sea. It was very nice, and if I remember right, we ate too much.

Day 12-
Another day at sea like all the others!

Day 13-
Dubrovnik, Croatia! Dubrovnik is beautiful. We went and saw the city walls where we spent a few hours wandering around, seeing a church, and just enjoying the sights. It was so beautiful. P and I found a place to sit inside and hung around there for about an hour watching the day go by- as well as lots and lots of people. I’ve never seen water more sparkly than in Dubrovnik.

Day 14-
Corfu, Greece.

Day 15-
Today we were in Olympia!! Not only that- but in Olympia during the 2008 Olympics! Pretty cool. P and I actually got to walk the original Olympic track which was 600 Herculean feet (whatever that equivocates to!). P has a video of us walking the entire track that I posted below! We’re not very animated, totally sweaty, have no makeup on, and are walking the whole time with not much to talk about, but hey- you gotta walk the track when you’re at the Olympics! We’re such Gold Medalists. Ha.

Day 16
Santorini, Greece. Simply beautiful. You can see from the pictures. We spent some time in one of the small villages and then made our way to the black sand beach- which was gorgeous. P and I found a little outdoor restaurant and had some delicious authentic Greek food. Yum.

Day 17
Today we were in Ephesus. It was simply brilliant. I really enjoyed our visit there, not to mention we had a really great guide full of lots of information. We saw the Virgin Mary’s house, where she spent the last years of her life. Afterwards it was on to the ancient city of Ephesus. Apparently there is still so very much still covered that needs to be excavated. It was so neat to see, especially with all the Biblical references.

Day 18
At sea.

Day 19
Today we went to Valletta, Malta. It was really humid and miserable so we didn’t spend much time out and about. It was still nice to get out and walk around a little.

Day 20
Messina, Sicily. Today we did a short little excursion and saw some of the highlights- including this crazy huge clock that has this 15 minute “show” everyday at noon. It was very Disneyish.

And then the trip was over, and my heart was really sad.

Really really sad.

In fact- I feel sad now just typing about it knowing it’s over!

Did I mention I have an amazing boss that allowed me to borrow against the vacation I haven’t yet accrued rather than being unpaid? While it’s a huge blessing, it means I won’t have any vacation for literally the next year. How sad, right!?

Anyway, the trip was over and I bid my sister farewell- but there’s more to come on that.

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So moving along to the dogs- they’re a lot of work. I won’t say much since I told you about Rocky. I’ll try to post a few pictures in the coming days. It’s nonstop with 4 dogs. It’s been a test of patience- a test I seem to be failing

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So as you know- college football season is underway and Will is the happiest guy in the world. The first OU game proved to be not only a blow out- but wet. We got poured on! They ended up having over an hour delay and instead of driving home due to the rain and gigantic lead, my obsessed husband wanted to stay! Sigh. I guess it’s something we’ll remember…

Will is very excited to finally be able to utilize our tickets, and I am too.

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It seems like ever since we moved back it’s been nonstop on the go craziness. We lived with Will’s parents for a month, then P came to visit, then I went on vacation for 20 days, and then-

my dad is coming in 2 weeks! I’m so excited. He’s coming to Texas for some big racing thing and Will is going to meet him down there. After the racing weekend, he’s going to come up and stay a couple days with us, which is very exciting. I’ve been missing my family so much and it’s been hard, so it will be nice to have him here.

Not only that, but it gets better!

The following week my mom and sister are coming to stay a few days!! I can’t tell you how excited I am about the next few weeks. It will be really special for me. I’m not sure when I’ll see my family next, so I’m really happy about their visit.

I’m sure there’ll be lots more talk about all that in the coming days.

As for things now, it’s been a busy weekend full of cleaning. Will, his dad, and brother are in Indianapolis this weekend for the first Colt’s game in the new stadium. It was something they had planned before we moved back, so it’s been something Will has been looking forward to for a long time. It also allowed me a weekend of peace to clean, and man did I! Will didn’t do much while I was gone so I had lots of work to do. Plus, I can get a little fanatical so it takes me longer than most when I get in a cleaning mood. I started Saturday morning and finished at 3 today. I stopped in the evenings to get my pictures all sorted and play with the dogs. It’s been a very productive weekend!

Want to hear a funny story?

Yesterday afternoon a locust somehow got into the house and I was freaking out all day but would’t get near it because I was so scared! It ended up on the couch and I sprayed so much lysol on it that it set off my carbon monoxide detector. ha ha.

Then it ended up on the floor and I put a glass bowl over it with my purse on top- where it will stay until Will comes home to get the locust out of its little biodome! ha ha. I’m a nerd.

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I think that’s about all for now. It’s taken me a long time to write this and I’m starting to get antsy. Hope you had a nice weekend!