Do not be alarmed.

This is NOT going to become Brittny’s foodie/fitness blog.

Trust me.

As I mentioned, I’m healthy every single day of the work week, so aside from the weekend pain of not eating a pound of beef and an entire strawberry cake, I’ve pretty much got this thing down. However- I thought a good start to my laundry list would be to tell you guys what my plans are for the day!

Everyone lets out a resounding, “Yay!”

...

Or maybe not.

Anyhow, I’m off work today which is pretty exciting.

I started my morning off right with an egg on whole wheat toast. Chick-Fil-A is giving away their spicy chicken sandwich this week so I printed off my coupon and am going to sit with Will this morning while he eats his breakfast.

After that we’re going to see an early movie which will be fun. We’re going to see True Grit. You may remember it has a special place in my heart (ha). I figure if anything it will give me more material to bug Will with. I told him he should give me five bucks for every time they say “little sister.” I could be rich. 

I’ll have my carrots and hummus during the movie. Lunch is a taco salad with extra lean ground turkey, black beans, tomatoes, spinach, and a couple tablespoons of salsa. I made it yesterday and got everything all sectioned off and measured, since I’ll be having it a couple more times this week.

Later this afternoon I’ll have Greek yogurt.

Around the time I have my afternoon snack is the time that Will and I will have probably started arguing.

I believe I’ve mentioned that Will and I aren’t the best at home improvement projects. I don’t know what it is, but the second you get a hammer and nails out at our house it’s as if we rang the boxing bell to begin the brawl.

“In this corner, weighing (muffled by the microphone) and standing at 5 feet 6 inches tall put your hands together for B-Loooooooove!!”

“And in this corner, weighing whatever grown men weigh these days, and standing 5 feet 10 inches tall put your hands together for Misteeeeeeer B-Loooooove!”

And then the bell rings and Will and I knock our gloves together and go at it.

I even joked with Will yesterday about how we should start fighting (ie- hanging our picture) around 2:00.

I’m not sure he thought it was funny.

Maybe it won’t be so bad?

I mean, it has been a while since we’ve taken a major hanging project on. Maybe it will be easy and we’ll find a stud and everything will be even and perfect and thirty minutes later we’ll be sitting on the couch holding hands and complimenting each other’s picture framing abilities.

But I doubt it.

Way to be optimistic, right?

Eh…

I’m not sure what else is in store for us today. I know for dinner I’ll have tilapia with steamed carrots and then later tonight I’ll bake an apple with a little cinnamon and lemon juice.

I’m hoping to squeeze in a workout before dinner or right after. I usually go on the morning but my alarm failed me today so that didn’t happen. Today is an upper body day. I’ve posted my workout below. I superset so I’m constantly working a different muscle group without stopping. Once I hit all the areas I end the set with an ab and rest for a minute or so and start the next.

Yay for days off! Happy Monday to you!

More to come…

Today’s Workout
Chest
Bench Press
Inverted Row
Decline Barbell Press

Back
Bent Over Row
Pull Up
Row Machine

Shoulders
Bent Over Flyes
Barbell Shoulder Press
Front Raises/Flyes

Triceps
Skull Crushers
Cable Tricep Extension
One Arm Cable Tricep Extension

Biceps
Incline Curls
Hammer curls
Concentration Curl

Pushups

Abs
Plank
Elevated Plank
Side Plank
Bear Crawls
Cable Crunch

Hi!

Happy New Year!

Oh no, be warned- I’ve started this post with back to back exclamation points. I see more in the future of this post. Please do not let the cheeriness deter you. I will try to keep the exclamations to a minimum.

But I make no promises.

I hope you all had a great Christmas, and Saturday, and New Year’s Eve. The random Saturday insertion just seemed like the right thing to do… I have no idea why.

Our Christmas was good. We spent the morning with Will’s family and then travelled home late that afternoon. I took that following Monday off which was nice. We ended up going to the “big town” of El Reno, Oklahoma to eat at Sid’s diner. It was a place featured on Man Versus Food. The place was super tiny but the food was good, as we had expected. It was a nice day.

I had Friday off this week which was nice too. We spent a lot of the day shopping. How two people can spend a small fortune at Sam’s I will never know. We went to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner that night which was nice and spent the entire time reflecting on 2010 and talking about 2011. It was a good day!

Was all that boring?

Because I sort of feel like it was.

Sorry. The truth is- when Will and I were talking last night about some of the highlights of last year I couldn’t remember some of them and I realize I don’t really talk much about my life anymore here. Which is fine and what I have chosen to do, I suppose, but at the same time it’s sort of nice to be able to look back to my 2005 archives and actually recall a day after reading about it. So I was thinking that maybe once or twice a month I will try to capture more about what’s going on in my life. Mostly for me. I apologize in advance for the boringness.

Okay, enough about that.

Happy New Year!

Did I already say that?

Ah- yes. I did. And then went on and on about all! the! exclamation! points!

Are you a big resolution-er?

I’m not really per say. To a degree I suppose but nothing too extreme. Much like Angela , my goal is to never eat again or lose a million pounds. I never really take it seriously though. My other problem? I make about 15 of them and by mid January I’ve forgotten all of them!

“Wait- did I say I was NOT going to drink coffee and was going to drink more tequila?”

“Or was it not eating trans fats and drinking mroe coffee!?… Or was it tequila!? I know it that was in one of my resolutions somewhere...”

“This is so hard!”

I figure now that I’m another year older and wiser I should probably just suck it up and realize that I am going to have to eat. And losing a million pounds? Well that’s just silly, Brittny!

So this year is about sharing my goals and making them realistic. Also- not to make a dozen. Sure it’s nice to want to do things, I mean, I want to save the world! However, I realize I have to start somewhere. So that’s what I want to do.

Here goes.

1. Be a Failure

I want to fail in the gym this year.

Yes, you heard me right.

A big fat F.

For anyone that spends time in the weight room, you will know what I’m talking about. If you don’t- long story short is that in order to really see growth and really make progress you have to lift to failure which means you have to really exert and exhaust your muscles. I do that now… sort of… but I really take it easy on myself. I really want my time at the gym to be worthwhile, and it won’t be unless I put myself to the test mentally and physically.

My plan for meeting my resolution is to do it- to add the extra weight and document my progress. If I can only do four reps, well I can only do four reps. But with time it will grow to six and maybe even eight. Until I really start making things hard on myself, I won’t see the results I want to.

2. Be Squeaky Clean

The other day I was on the elliptical and a guy jumped on beside me and started working out. The second he walked past me, I gagged. No really- I did. And made a disgusting face.
,
The guy smelled as though he had sat in a 4x4 closet where 10 people crammed in there with him and smoked for eight hours straight. And then the 10 people left. But he decided to stay.So he could eat the cigarette butts.

No really- he did.

He ate them.

I’m pretty sure anyway…

As I continued on my second interval set I started to get mad.

Really guy!? Yeah- great plan. Go to the gym and work out but then go smoke six packs a day. That’s a way to be healthy!

How dumb.

I then spent my remaining 20 minutes on the elliptical gagging and turning my head away from The Ash Tray, thinking about how ridiculous this guy was.

I blame the high degree of my irritation on the workout. I think something about having my heart rate up and sweating tends to make me a little more intense than normal."Why bother showing up to the gym?! Your lungs are raisins.”

So as I started my cool down- and started to come back to earth- I realized it was wrong for me to feel the way I did. It’s that guy’s choice to smoke a carton a day. It’s on him. Granted, the second hand smoke is another issue- but let’s stay focused.

The second thing I started to think about was- “Wow pot! You’re calling the kettle black aren’t you!?”

Busted.

Guys- I live in a perpetual state of dissonance. I really do. I emphasize fitness so much in my life, and even go so far to say it’s my passion, yet not all of my lifestyle echos those words. I can go bust my tail at the gym and then go home and eat half a pizza and breadsticks.

And then complain about it for the next 2 hours.

But then repeat the same action the very next weekend.

My point is- I’ll never know how good I can be and what I’m capable of until I put.the.pizza.down!

Just put it down, Brittny.

Down.

I really love food.

I eat healthy just about every week day and then blow it on the weekend. Did I say blow it? What I mean is, calorically I eat enough for two people on the weekends. Maybe even three. Yikes! How awful is that to type!?

I decided that if I want to be my best and see what I’m capable of in the gym, which I claim is my passion, part of my success has to start in the kitchen!

So with all that being said my goal for this year is to eat a clean diet six days a week during 2011 and allow myself one “cheat” day. And when I say cheat day I don’t mean eating an entire box of cereal and washing it down with a double cheeseburger with fries. I mean eating things I enjoy but in much smaller portions.

Moderation Brittny!

So here’s how I plan on meeting this tough goal. I already made my menu for January and February because I know if I write it down and have a plan it will make it a lot easier on my life. I won’t have to spend time thinking about what I’m going to eat- because I’ll already know. This will be particularly handy when I’m start back to school this month.

3. Get Connected

I don’t think I ever told you guys about my funny story of the group we joined at church and then left. It’s too long to tell it here, but trust me, when Will tells the story it has people in tears. Pretty funny.

Anyway, we’re not connected in any sort of small Bible study group and we really need to be. Church is good but it’s also important to be around people our age and have that small group interaction, you know? We’ve become sort of discouraged by our journey in this area, so my hope is that this year we will find a group and get connected.

4. Do well in school.

My plan? Is to just freaking do it, darn it! To read, pay attention, and stay on top of stuff.

5. Be a Better Wife, Friend, and Employee

This girl right here can tell you I’m not always the best at keeping up with communcation. She and Retired Blogger Sarah will have exchanged about five emails to my one sometimes! Granted, there’s going to be times where life is busy, but friends are important and I need to remember that. I have lots of “friends” but very few real true friends and they’re very precious to me and I want them to know that by my actions.

I also want to be the wife to Will that I need to be. We’re a solid team, but I think after almost seven years of marriage (! when did that happen!?) we’ve sort of gotten comfortable with each other and have settled into our life. That’s good and all, but this year I wanted to be mindful of being “nice” and “thoughtful” and more of a “girlfriend” to Will (I have no idea why I put all that in quotations).

You think I’m crazy right?

Trust me, it all makes sense in my head.

Anyway- I went into my calendar and put random things on random days as reminders to do something nice for Will. I know it seems pathetic that I actually have to remind myself to do thoughtful things for Will or surprise him with something, but hey- I’m trying and this is a good way to make sure I’m staying on target!

6. Put it Away: The 2011 Laundry List

I really want to put my laundry away immediately after doing a load. I also don’t want to leave dishes in the sink. I’m pretty sure this is a resolution for me every.single.year. And every.single.year. I don’t follow through. Sure, I do for a few weeks- but before I know it I look at the chest in our bedroom and see a laundry pile the size of a small SUV stacked high. I don’t know why. I also don’t know how two people can generate so much laundry. But it happens. So, let’s hope I actually keep the pile manageable this year. I have a load sitting in there right now- which means I need to get off this computer and start folding! Hey-Rome wasn’t built in a day. I’m on it!

So there you have it. My goals for 2011. Knowing I have an action plan and a goal and am drawing a line in the sand by telling you guys, my friends, makes it seem more real.

Here’s to a solid 2011 for all of us.

I’m sitting here watching Will down a giant glass of egg nog and am shaking my head.

The stuff is so thick that you practically need a spoon to get it out of the carton. I feel as though it would be much better frozen. At least it would be the right consistency. When it’s a liquid, is it a drink or a meal? It’s so confusing! 

Actually said to me today, “I can’t wait for you to get fat!”

Girls are so nice, right?

In follow up to my last post- do you realize it would be healthier (um and I use that term very, very loosely) for me to go to the fridge, pull out two sticks of butter, and proceed to eat them like a Popsicle? At least I wouldn’t have to consider the ENTIRE box of powdered sugar or the whole box of cake mix AKA the “crust.”

Because eating straight butter would be healthier. It would. (again- using that word liberally) This gooey butter cake could be the death of me. Normal people would throw it away. I however like to keep it around like that lousy ex boyfriend. You know he is no good for you but you just can’t help but keep him around because you like the abuse. Plus he smells nice.

The gooey pumpkin butter cake is like that.

Maybe worse. But it was made by Paula Deen and I’m pretty sure she’s the sweetest lady around. So the butter powdered sugar concoction can’t be ALL bad right?

Dont answer. I have no intention of listening anyway. I just found it funny that eating straight butter (which I don’t even really like by the way) would be “better.” nice.

That is all, carry on.

Oh- and I posted this from my phone. The formatting is crappy, yes? 

Happy (belated) Thanksgiving! I hope you all had a great day. Mine was very nice. Will and I spent the day with his family and then came home and watched football. A pretty typical Thanksgiving day, but just what I needed. Plus I got to FaceTime with P which was pretty great too.

I’m looking forward to the next few days off. Today we got up late and didn’t do too much. I went to the gym in hopes of burning off a few of those thousands of calories I consumed yesterday (which was hopeless due to the gooey pumpkin BUTTER cake sitting in my fridge. Two sticks of butter is sitting in that cake pan. TWO STICKS. And Will isn’t big fan of pumpkin. Please don’t even tell me how long that means I’ll have to be on the treadmill. It will hurt too much).

We went and saw The Next Three Days- along with a plethora of others from Oklahoma. I guess I forget that seeing movies this time of year is sort of a “thing” people do. A post-Thanksgiving tradition, if you will. Much like Black Friday shopping, or putting up Christmas decorations. So now we’re home and contemplating pay per view movies. We shall see…

Tomorrow is a trip to Tulsa to see Will’s other side of the family. That will consume most of the day followed by the big game which will decide if we’re going to the Big 12 Championship or not. And then I’m scheduled to take Monday off! It’s my hope that I’ll be able to do so, but I might end up having to do some work but at least it will be at home, right?

So there you have it. As if you had even asked. Because I’m pretty sure you didn’t and I just volunteered it all.

More to come. We have lots to talk about!

1. We hardly ever have bread in our house. Like ever. Likely because I’m capable of eating an entire loaf in two days.It would be like an alcoholic keeping a bottle of Jose Cuervo in their pantry. Probably not a good idea.

2. There’s almost always a load of clean laundry piled atop the chest in our bedroom. I think Will would kill over if it was missing, so I like to keep it there for consistency’s sake. And to keep him alive.

3. I really love my sister. I know you know that, but recently (like the last couple of years) I’ve really, really grown to love her more. I think it has to do with our ages and where we are in our lives.

4. I really like the Bridget Jones movies. A lot. I’ve decided most either love or hate them. There’s not really an in between.

5. I like Extra Spearmint gum. I personally feel it’s the best.

6. I hope I made the right decision with a two year masters program. It has pros and cons. The pro is that you definitely aren’t as inundated as you are with a one year accelerated program. The con is that you spend two years of your freaking adult life doing school when you could have been done in a year.

7. I don’t own a coffee maker and I’m a grown woman. It’s probably more common than I think, but it’s sort of weird to me. Although Will doesn’t, I love coffee, and now that I’m back to school feel as though I may rely on it more. Perhaps I should invest in one.

8. I bought my first Scentsy last week. I think women are WAY too fanatical about that stuff. Yet, I became one of them and gave in and bought one. I’m skeptical because Will and I really like the Glade Plug-ins, mostly because we have Boz and Lucy inside with us and like to have a continual flow of good smelling-ness throughout our house at all times. With a Scentsy it only works when it’s on. Eh who knows. Perhaps I’ll be a crazy fanatical convert too. I’m just ready for it to come in!

9. I actually dreamed about APA citation last week. Who does that!?

10. Go download the YouVersion app if you haven’t already. It’s definitely been so great for me to have the Bible on my phone. There’s absolutely no excuse for me not to read it! In fact, I’ve spent several mornings reading as I blowdry my hair in the morning. So efficient.

More to come…

Food morning.

Yes.

You read that right.

FOOD morning.

In a letter to our customer, the Government.

Nice.

I’m pretty sure I’ve sealed my fatness for life.

In fact, you’ll probably find me in the broom closet later this afternoon with a giant spoon and a tub of vanilla frosting.

Aw hell, screw the spoon- people like us don’t use spoons.

Food morning.

I did an immediate recall.

But it didn’t work.

I’d like to blame it on the fact that the “f” and the “g” are right next to each other, but the sad truth is that it’s likely my deep subconscious acting out.

Geez… well at this rate all I can hope for is a Food afternoon.

1. I do not understand NASCAR. I mean, I understand the general concept. However, I do not understand how my husband can watch three hours of it in one sitting. The man doesn’t even like to watch me pull out of the drive way, yet if you put a man in a fancy suit full of various company patches and let them drive as fast as they want he’s enamored. I don’t get it.

2. Will got chocolate covered honey buns- and yes, they’re pretty freaking good. However, they’re like 350 calories for one. Do you know how much Special K with Strawberries I can have in place of that?!

3. I had black coffee last week which really surprised me. I’m much more of a skim milk, two sugars kind of girl. But last week was a pretty bad week, and therefore I draw the conclusion that I had to hit the hard stuff.

4. I’m really loving Mary Kay’s new Vitamin C Serum. It’s like magic.

5. It’s only 2 weeks until I’m reunited with my lovely ladies Sarah and Theresa and get to share in Theresa’s very special day. Actually, days! Her birthday is the day before the wedding. Pretty great.

6. I start school next Monday and am sort of freaking out.

7. Will and I are contemplating a December trip to Minneapolis. It’s not like an extravagant trip or anything, it’s Minneapolis, but if you’ve read my blog since 2005 you know it’s been a place Will and I have frequented and have definitely enjoyed each time we visited. I don’t want to go because in my mind we should just save our money and go somewhere we’ve never been, but Will’s argument is that it’s just a small “mini trip” and a getaway would be nice. Oh the fun of trying to make a decision. We shall see!

8. It’s fantasy football time again. For the first time in my married life I’m fully embracing being a football widow. I’m sure I’ll provide you all the details very soon, so we’ll just leave it at that.

9. Have you ever had a Whataburger with cheese? If you haven’t, you aren’t living and should really do it. Right now.

10. I’m really hoping for a good rain. We need it, but I also enjoy the rain. In fact, I have a few rain showers and thunderstorms downloaded on my ipod for when I can’t get to sleep. I feel sort of like an earthy hippie type writing that. I have no idea why.

Yes. I get it. My last twenty-five posts have somehow centered back to food. I clearly have a problem. I should be on Maury or Montel or The View discussing my awful obsession with frosting and dinners and celebrations that center around both.

Or maybe just the sick obsession with frosting.

I realize the food posts need to stop. However, today something happened that I simply had to share. I found myself hovering over the sink thinking, “Wow. I really don’t want to tell anyone about the shame I just experienced.”

And then five minutes later I was in the car laughing thinking, “Ahaha, I have to tell someone about this.”

So here we are.

Tomorrow is Will’s birthday. Yesterday we drove down to Will’s parent’s house to celebrate his birthday. We went to eat and afterwards Will’s mom sent us home with a dirty cake.

Heh heh. Dirty cake.

Doesn’t it just sound sleazy? Like you need to be listening to Keith Sweat or R. Kelly while you take the lid off? Or like you should be slathering it in some sort of edible oil?

Sorry for the visual. Let’s get back on track.

Anyway- dirty cake. Us. Taking it home.

We brought the cake home but didn’t have any last night. Which meant there was untouched cake in my house for more than 12 hours, which is pretty much a miracle.

In fact you may want to check page 22A of your local newspaper. I bet I’m in there.

So today for lunch I had to run to the post office to mail off my transcripts for my school application. I had already brought my lunch to work with me, so there was really no need for me to go home for lunch yet somehow I found myself getting into the car, as if on autopilot, and driving home. You know, to let Boz and Lucy out. Wink.

So I get there, let them out, and am standing around the kitchen thinking, “What am I doing here?” Knowing full well what was really going on in my mind. The cake.

So, I play with a little fire and open the fridge- and there it is.

In fact, as I opened the fridge I’m pretty sure I heard some Marvin Gaye playing in the back of the Crisper area- and as soon as I shut the fridge the music went away.

I peeked it open again, to be greeted with the same sound. Only this time I exercised some degree of willpower and got a nectarine.

Because, as we all know, nectarines are just as satisfying as chocolatey cake, yes?

I finished the nectarine and really realize I need to go back to work.

I mean that is Will’s cake! His mom made it for him! It’s meant for us to share it together in honor of his special day. What sort of sick, awful, hormonal person eats their husband’s birthday ca…

And before I could finish the word, there I was. Standing over the sink trying to slyly carve out a tiny piece of dirty cake so that Will would never know someone sampled it before he did. Only the tiny sliver soon became about half a cup.

Wow.

An all time low, I thought to myself.

So what was I to do!? I couldn’t let Will know I was such a selfish awful wife!

Think, Brittny, Think!

Ahaha!

If you’ve ever had dirty cake, you know that it’s topped with whip cream.

So, in my genius, I went to the freezer and pulled out our gigantic tub of Cool Whip.

Because, as you know, every two person household has a costco size bucket of Cool Whip in their house.

I went to work, almost artist-like, filling in the “tiny” hole I had created, and spreading the oreos overtop.

Brilliant.Before I knew it- Tada! Good as new. Like I never ate a giant hole through Will’s birthday cake.

So now I don’t feel so much like a heel. Now I simply feel like I need to spend all week at the gym.

I made myself laugh, so I figured I’d share the moment with you all.

Happy Monday!