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sorting my Katrina thoughts

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and heal their land.”
2 Chronicles 7:14
My mind and heart have been far from Kuwait the last few days.

This may become a strange, blabbering, and confusing post today, but I just need to get it out- so just know I am making sense to myself and I apologize if I make sense to no one else… though it wouldn’t be the first time.

Katrina has made me miss home so much more. I know that may sound totally off the wall, but for some reason, homesickness was one of the emotions I’ve been feeling all the more since the hurricane hit.

I feel so detached from life back in the States. I just feel so far away and not up to date on the things that go on. We have a few news channels here, mostly middle eastern and international, and we have one 24 hour American news network (which isn’t the greatest because it takes show from several different American news channels and a lot of the time they are talk shows like Hardball), but it isn’t the same. For example, the big news over here has been the Iraqi bridge tramplings, with the hurricane also being covered but not extensively like back home.

I guess I’m talking generally in the paragraph above, that is an everyday detachment I feel, but with the news and details of the many things that are ensuing after the hurricane, I feel so lost. Okay, so you may say, “It’s bad. It doesn’t take a genius to know that, and you could be on the most desolate of islands and know this information,“ or “Why would you even want to have your eyes glued to the tv watching more footage of the same tragic things?“ You are right. I just wish I could do more with the knowledge I have. For Will and I all we can do is send money- which is definitely something that is needed, but I wish I could just go and volunteer and do so much more than send a check. I’m sure lots of other people even living back home but in states far away from the mess feel the same way, but I guess I just feel like things are a little more impossible over here.

My heart feels so sad about everything that has taken place this week. I have yet to read a good story of hope, though I have to believe there are some that deal with rescues. I have felt so discouraged with the selfishness of our people, but then i have to stop and wonder if I was poor and had nothing to begin with, and had the few things I had were ripped away from me in a storm, would I be the same way? Would I be the same Brittny if my life was like some of those affected? I don’t really know. Okay, maybe I should clarify. I’m not talking about the terrible things going on like rapes and shooting at helicopters or stealing TVs, but I mean just the basic instinct of chaotic survival that has seemed to consume the thousands of people affected. I just have to thank God that he spared me from this tragedy so I didn’t have to find out.

We were without power a few hours this week, which was a minor inconvenience, but you would have thought hurricane Katrina ripped through our complex with the way some people were complaining. I was so angry with the selfishness of some people. I wanted to bring a New Orleans citizen over here to testify that there are bigger things to worry about than not having power for a night.

As we ate our pizza over candlelight that night we thanked God that we had our family in one piece, knowing our minor electric problem would go away quickly. So many thousands of people are not as fortunate, and I wish I could have had them all over and fed them and given them a place to stay for the night. Visions of grandeur I guess.

I think back to the saying “it takes a villiage to raise a child,” and I firstly wish that were always true, but I also wish it could be applicable to the situation at hand. I wish- and I guess this is me wishing we lived in a perfect world- people would have come together in strength and numbers to be a huge team through all of this. Sadly it seems any bond has fallen apart, as I read in one article that as a woman asked a police officer for some sort of aid he curtly replied, “Go to hell. It’s every man for himself.” That seems to clearly sum up the way many people are responding to what has happened. Is that how it really is there? Is that how things really are with most people? I hope not, but it guess I am left to wonder after the way people are responding.

I am rambling on and on, and rambling has never done much good. It has never made a huge difference.(I believe there is power in words- but not so much in my scatterbrained ramblings). Words can only go so far, and truthfully they don’t go very far when something like this happens. It is actions, not words, that make change. I wish I was able to take more action, but I will do as much as I can over here. I pray others will cease with the verbage and the “I hopes“ and take action too.

Anyway, my prayers, as well as the things I can do are with those affected by the storm. It is hard to see that God has a plan with something like this happens, but He is a perfect God and I know He does.

Thanks for letting me sort that out today, whether it made sense or not, I feel a little better getting it out.

Have a wonderful Friday

You’ll NEVER EVER in a million years guess what just happened!

I GOT AN OFFER LETTER!!!!

Praise the Lord oh my soul!!

I know absolutely no details at this point, but frankly I don’t care. The fact alone that I got a job offer has sent me into an excitement frenzy.

I just printed the stuff off and will look over it when Will gets home.

YAY! We’ll get to move out soon!

Just wanted to let you all know that.

I CAN’T BELIEVE I’LL BE EMPLOYED SOON!!!

on a soapbox

You have been warned.This has nothing to do with newlywed life. This is the disclaimer of all disclaimers, so the majority of readers would be greatly advised to click the big red X in the top right corner of this page and move on to something else. I’m serious. No, really I am serious. Todays post is serving as my personal outlet for my feelings, and most people will probably feel they need to excuse themselves to go throw up and write a letter to the editor of their local newspaper after reading this. Really, I’m serious. This may leave you cussing at me and leaving “love“ feedback on my blog.

Here I go…

The 3rd and 4th were two of the most incredible and emotional days I’ve had in a long time. I don’t even know where to begin, but I know that I have to start somewhere because I am so full of feelings that need a place to be manifested. I never knew how important Will’s job was until I was able to get on post. I am so full of pride for Will after getting to shadow him for the past two days. I just wanted to give him a big kiss and thank him for what he was doing.

You can’t turn on the TV anymore without hearing the fiery reports on the War in Iraq. It is unavoidable information that even people that live in the most remote of caves and are still are unaware of the invention of the wheel are able to tell you verbatim what is going on. Well, just as you have, I have heard so many bad things regarding the war and the soldiers. So many writers seem to be blending the issue of being against the war and being against soldiers. There is so much bad press. I was watching the news and one of the army’s commanders was talking about how soldiers will come up to him and ask him, “Sir, do the people back home support us?” He went on to talk about how we are getting the capabilities we need to fight the insurgents, but if the soldier’s mental capabilities aren’t the same because they are questioning whether their country supports them, there remains a problem in fully making a difference.

Do you hate me yet?

I’m pushing on.

Anyway, these past two days have opened my eyes to more than I could have ever imagined. I thought I was going to go and have a fun time with Will and see what he does and celebrate the 4th with him- but I got so much more than I bargained for. I don’t care who you are and what your take on the war is, I have to believe you would have been brought to tears just as I was these days. Whether democrat or republican, antiwar or prowar, Bush-hater, or Bush-lover… on and on.. whatever you may be I have to believe that if you were there with me for that very instant we would have been united in one accord and we would have been able to sit at one of Will’s tables and have a meaningful conversation. I wish I could have taken you all with me just to see what I saw.

I am a young pup-22- and there were so many young guys and girls- even younger than me (like 18 and 19) that were on their R&R. So many of their friends were on the beach about to enter their first year of college with no worries, while they were about to go into a whole new world. Everyone at this base are either just coming in from Iraq and are taking a short break, or they are about to go into Iraq. What a grim feeling, knowing you are just here waiting to go on to the war. I watched the soldiers come in and out, trying to take their minds off what they had seen only days before, or those that were trying to prepare their minds for what they were about to see. They would shoot pool, or play darts. Some would just sit alone and write. My heart broke for them.

My mom gets to talk to a lot of soldiers that come in and out of her office. She told me that so many of them just want to be talked to. She will ask them about their families and where they are from and their eyes will light up and they will talk forever. They will talk about their beautiful pregnant wife that is waiting for them when they get home, or about the wife they just married a few months before having to leave. Each one of these men and women have a story, unique to only them, waiting to be told if a person would stop and ask.

One guy came into Will’s work and asked if he could bring his friend in, who had just lost his legs, so he could watch the news. I choked up. These people have been through so much, yet they have to turn on the news and have to listen to “us” bicker about it back home when it is a bigger issue than just the soldiers. They are following orders, they do not deserve to be slammed for doing their duty.

I don’t care how much you already despise me now because I’m on a roll and this post is only going to get worse from here… so please just click off and read my “normal” posts tomorrow.

I truly never ever realized how much I took for granted in the states. Yes, we have a TON of issues to sort through and work on, but we live in the most amazing county. I live in a place where women just achieved the right to vote last month! We take our ablility to bash those in office and take a stand and be free to do as we please for granted. I lost sight of that until I got here.  So many of the men and women I had the honor to meet see their job as giving others the same opportunities as we have here. Okay, so you may disagree with that, but put yourself in their shoes for an instant. Honestly, even if we tried to do that, I’m not sure we could truly feel what they feel because they are in the fray- right in the middle. We just turn the news on or read the Drudge Report.

I want to tell you all story after story that I took in these past few days so you could feel your heart beat as mine does, but it would take too long. I am frantically writing all this just to get it out. My dad was in the army for 20 years and instilled in me a love for politics and for my country and immense patriotism, so I just chomp at the bit to get to talk about this sort of thing.

So, now you will never read my blog again, right? Well, then I might as well finish strong…

Like I said before, this is an emotional issue and we all have our own thoughts on it, but I have to believe if you could do what I was able to do, your disposition may become a little different- not a lot- just maybe a little. I have my own opinions about the war, which I’ve chosen to leave out of this post, but I write all this in hopes that we will all truly appreciate and thank our soldiers, whether we agree with what they are fighting for or not. I would urge you to call your nearest military post or you local national guard/reserves and get an address for the soldiers that are from where you are and just write them a letter of thanks for what they are doing. I saw so many young men and women eating alone or sitting by themselves and looked so lonely and tired and I wondered how much mail they got. I wanted to give them a big hug and tell them I would write them every day. I love getting an old fashioned letter, so I can’t even imagine how much more a crisp, white envelope of thanks would be to these worn men and women. We should all also remember to pray for their safety each and every day.

So, you made it. You are a brave soul. You are probably thinking a million rebuttals to my comments but that’s okay because we live in a wonderful place where we can do that and not be afraid of getting in trouble for it.

**********

Well, I figure if you made it this far I may as well throw in a few tidbits for fun.

We had a terrible dust storm that lasted all day. I felt like I was living in Oklahoma back in the 30s. You should have seen our kitchen. Of all the rooms in the house I would like the kitchen and the bathroom to be the cleanest. Not the case here. Our kitchen was so filthy with dust that we had to keep the door closed all day. We could see and smell the dust in the air. Ah, theres nothing like the smell of grime and grit getting all over the fruit you laid out to have for breakfast. Mmmm.

I also got a roll of film developed. Some turned out good and others were too dark and didn’t turn out as good as i hoped, which is a little disappointing.

Okay, I’m sure you’ve had your fill of me today. I promise I won’t turn into Bill O’Reilly or anything. I’ll go back to my normal Brittny self. I just had to get all of this out.

Thanks for the freedom to do it.

posted in News,Q-8,The Old Blog bullet permalink bullet 7.06.2005

I think I was Robbed!

We think I got robbed. Now, I know you’re probably saying, “How do you think you’ve been robbed- either you know or you don’t.” Good point, but seriously, I think I was robbed.

Now, I have to fess up- I am a very scatterbrained person (I worry about things I can’t change, but forget things I can, go figure). I am constantly forgetting to do things or where I put things. I even forgot to pick up my pay check a few months ago. So, Will was convinced I just misplaced what I claimed was stolen, but after some sleuth work I convinced him I had been robbed.

For about $110 a month, you can hire a maid to clean your house 3 times a week- not bad (I think if it was that way in the states, I would have had to get one). So, my parents decided that because of their schedule they would get one to clean up the house. All of the reports they had heard about maids have been excellent- afterall, you can literally lose a hand for stealing in this country.

So, my parents didn’t hire their own private maid, they hired the maid service in our apartment complex. That means you never know who is coming to clean your house. Well, each time a lady comes, I am always there- so you wouldn’t think anything would happen. Apparently not. I just kick myself at how nice I was to her!

Okay- so heres some background information. Will gave me 10 KD- which is about $35 US dollars (our currency is worthless here) and I put it safely in my wallet and hid my wallet away. Okay- I didn’t really hide it all that great, but it wasn’t like it was super visible! Well, the other day P and I went to one of the bakeries they have at the bottom of our apartment and bought a couple of things. I spent 1 KD. I didn’t have pockets so I kept the money in my hand and as soon as I got upstairs I put the bag on the counter and put my money back in my wallet (at this point I was retracing my steps for Will and he inturrupts me and is like, “So, are you SURE you put the money back in your wallet? Could you have set it down somewhere and forgotten about it?” That does sound exactly like something I would do, but I KNOW that I didn’t this time)

Anyway, so I didn’t think anything about my money until Will asked me if he could have some of it last night. I went into my wallet and nothing was there. I started freaking out, trying to think of where it could be… but I KNEW I had put it in there.

My mom had said someone had went through our medicine cabinet too because everything was rearranged differently. I started looking around and I am not a detective, but I really think I solved this mystery.

Will and I are still living out of our suitcases, so the other day she moved them out of the way so she could clean. I didn’t move them an inch that next day and left them where they were. Well yesterday, after she had done the laundry she spent a long time in our roon cleaning. She would iron some and then go away. I thought maybe she was putting away clothes. Well, I found this wet cloth almost hidden in a basket on our dresser- which is right next to the bag that had my wallet in it. Its almost like she was cleaning the dresser, saw my wallet, took the money out and I don’t know maybe she got flustered or something and walked out and forgot her rag.

I don’t know, I am totally speculating, but I was pretty mad to lose 35 bucks. With the move and leaving our job back home, we haven’t gotten a paycheck since the beginning of May, so we needed what we had.

So, my dad cancelled the service and got our key back fron downstairs.

Pretty crappy…

girl power

Yesterday the Kuwaiti government (finally) passed legislation allowing women to vote and run for government posts! Pretty exciting news here…

posted in News,Q-8,The Old Blog bullet permalink bullet 5.17.2005

Broken Silence

I can now freely talk about our “big secret,” and I am so ready to. It’s been killing me for months now…

Will and I are moving to Kuwait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t know if all of the exlamation marks are necessary since I’ve never been there and it is in an area of unrest, but nontheless I am excited about this new chapter.

We applied for jobs a few months ago-once my family decided to move over there- but had heard nothing and couldn’t say anything for risk of Will losing his job- our situation is not the greatest where we are now. The church where we serve is famous in our town for divisions and “running off staff,” so we totally had to keep our mouth shut until Will could officially resign. We are going to tell the youth tonight, which will be sad because they planned a “surprise” birthday party for me. :( It is time to leave for now. We will continue to serve God, just not in a full time ministry position. That is a whole other blog day though- I don’t want to talk about all of those hurts.

Will and I got notice that we will have to be in Kuwait in 3 weeks. I will probably have to take my finals early and not get to go to graduation, which will be sad, but at the same time I will be glad to be in the same place as my family.

I have yet to get a job, but Will will be starting in a few weeks. As of now we will be living in the same building as my parents, so that will be nice so they can help us find our way around and get adjusted to life there. It sounds really different than what we Okies are used to. smile

There is just so much I want to say and blog about this new venture in our lives, but I don’t even know where to begin! My thoughts have been going a million miles a minute with the thoughts of moving and packing and school and finals and...and...and… smile Talk about a curve ball thrown into the mix. smile

I wanted so badly to tell the ladies I work with today, but I couldn’t. :( They told me to go get the mail and when I came back, they had cake and ice cream and sang happy birthday to me today since we all work different times on Thursday. I didn’t want to ruin everything. Carly made me a good cake, and Sheri got frozen yogurt to save on fat. wink Kaci- my bridesmaid- wrote me the most heart wrentching card and got me the incubus cd… how could I drop Big Bertha on them today?

So you are thinking- the longer you wait, the harder it is, and I know… I am just sad and for some reason scared to tell them. Not that they will be mad, but I had kept this whole thing from them for so long and now I’m all of a sudden like, “yeah, we’ve been planning on this forever now, and by the way… I have to be there in three weeks...“ That’s probably not the best way to have to tell someone somthing that big. I don’t know…

My mind is going everywhere! I tend to consider every single detail of every single thing, so I am driving myself crazy writing dozens of lists of things we need to remember to do. Poor Will, I am just going to have to try and not worry about everything so much. This is an exciting time for us. There will probably never be another time in our lives when this is the “perfect opportunity“ for us. We have no kids, nothing of serious importance… we can just get up and go. It is really exciting.

I could go on and on and on… and in the coming weeks, you’ll get to learn of all of the crazy stress moments in preparing to leave, but I am going to leave now and get other things done- like homework! That has seemed to take a backseat lately. smile

On a positive note, I found out I will be graduating cum laude. I was a little dissapointed because I thought I would be Magna (how dumb for me to be dissapointed, I know...), but that’s still pretty good.

Tomorrow is my birthday! What a fun thing! smile

God has totally blessed us, we have a lot to celebrate…

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About

brittny I'm B-Love. Lover of God, my husband Will, my doggies, OU football, weight training, plyometrics healthy eating (mostly!), peanut butter, and all things health related. Buckle up and get ready for my constant embarrassing moments, health and fitness tips,and my effort to rely on Christ while living life in the real world. Follow me on Feedly! Sign up for monthly emails at blove@theblovelife.com!


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