Because I'm Terrible at Scrapbooks
From the <3

life is too short

It’s amazing out today.

Simply amazing.

Today is the sort of day that reminds me, “Brittny, you can do this. Life is about so much more than this stupid job.”

It’s true.

God gave me the most beautiful day today and instead of just being thankful for the beautiful sun and the warm air, my thoughts are consumed with how much I loathe my job.

I had to go outside to take something to another office and was just taken aback with the beautiful day.

Now- the pessimistic, “I hate my job” side of me initially thought, “Ugh. A reminder that the hellish 130 degree summer is on it’s way.”

However,the optimistic, “God is going to give you strength to get through this time” side of me thought of E.E. Cummings and “Thank you God for this most amazing day” (I think I wrote it right… don’t kill me English majors.). I love that poem.

I seemed to banter back and forth between the two during my walk but finally decided.

Yes. I hate my job. I have never been more unhappy in more short life than now. Yes. I am afraid that this job is changing me as a person in some ways, but you know what? In the grand scheme of things my job ultimately doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t. Today, a beautiful day such as today, reminds me that knowing God and making Him known to others is really the only thing that ultimately counts. That enjoying his creation and appreciating it’s beauty brings Him honor. It reminded me that I have so much to be thankful for.

Today, as I was enjoying the warm air, I simply thought, “I can’t wait to see Will tonight.” It made me look forward to finish my work day and get home to something that really mattered. Will is forever telling me, “Life is too short to worry about everything.” Actually, because my mind is forever clouded with worries Will shortened it and simply says, “Life’s too short,” and he is so right. He has to constantly remind me of this, but I constantly need reminding! He is so about enjoying life while we’re here.

I remember one fall night after church in particular. It was a perfect evening. We were headed home when all of a sudden he pulled into Taco Bueno (the best Mexican fast food place ever!). We were so poor our first year of marriage, and Taco Bueno was like going to the Ritz Carlton for us. I remember that we only had like $20 in our bank account until the next payday. I told Will we didn’t need to spend money on fast food that’s for sure! He simply told me that life was too short. We got our food and he took me to our college campus (the place where we met), where we ate at picnic table and then walked around campus talking for over an hour.

Some might have said it was foolish to blow 6 bucks on a dinner when you only had $20 in checking. Yeah, maybe, but that night was the best. Will and I talked about so many big things. Important things, our dreams, life things… it was a wonderful night. That’s just a simple one but it was the first thing that came to my mind today for some reason. We’ve had lots of “Life’s too short” moments like that- because of Will and certainly not because of me. It is easy for me to lose sight of the small little things that make life so much better when you’re watching. Instead I blow past them and look for the big stuff.

I have spent my day in negativity all day, hating everything.about where I am. How wasteful. How wasteful and foolish of me to concentrate all my efforts on hating something when I could instead be blessed by enjoying the simple fact that the sun is out and a warm breeze is blowing and that before long my sweet husband is going to come home and hold me really tight.

Just typing that makes my heart fill with excitement. I only wish I could truly appreciate the day instead of being stuck inside, but perhaps just acknowledging the fact that I need to take time to enjoy these little blessings more will put me on the right track to live a fuller life with my favorite person.  <3

*******************************

I’m finally home and enjoying my evening. I typed the above “stuff” while I was at work today. Will and I both got off a little early tonight, so it was really nice to have the extra time together.

I know I rambled on about “the sun” and “the great day-” gag, right? Sorry, but it was just on my mind. I really need to focus on being an optimist about where I am in my life right now, and today reminded me of that.

thanks for listening to me attempt to be “deep.” ha ha. As you can see I’m not good at it.

Anyway, hope you’re enjoying the rest of your weekend. Seize the day! smile

from me to you

To the unemployed, unkempt, “immature“ Britter-Bob girl to the left:

We had a great run, didn’t we? Good times, good laughs. However, it is time for me to bid you farewell. You’ve been a faithful friend for almost 4 months, but as they saying goes, all good things must come to an end. I can’t imagine my life without you, but it is time for me to let go, hoping that distance truly does make the heart grow fonder.

I wish I could take you along for this new journey in my life, but you and I both know that would be impossible. Not only would my job be on the line, but I honestly think you break about 57 unspoken corporate rules before even walking out the door to your apartment. Hey, I don’t mean to down you- you’re great- but you know I’m right. I can’t really say you’ve eqiupped me for the next stage of my life, but I can say I’ve had lot of fun. We’ve had lots of good time trapped on floor 10 huh? You are a great friend and I am sad to say goodbye, but my love, it is time. So… here I go with my many farewells.

I first say goodybye to your Outfit of the Week. For those reading this I must clarify. My dear friend would wake up in her “jammies” and hang out in them for a few hours… or most of the day… (yes, I am exposing my embarrassing summer laziness- but hey! We were stuck in an apartment all day) then she’d go to the gym, which require an outfit change. She would then get in the shower around 4:15 (literally 30 minutes before Will got home… as long as I look a little more put together he can think I looked that way all day if he wants… I know the truth!) and put on her “nice outfit” consisting of soffe shorts and a tee. So fancy. You really do have great fashion sense (ha ha). She would then wear it for like 3 days straight. So pathetic… but when you sit around and do nothing, that is what you get. I am sure your husband will be so sad to see the Outfit of the Week put to rest, but I’m sure he will manage.

Goodbye Outfit of the Week.

I must also say farewell to your great taste in television and the hours of thoughtless starting at the screen. That will be hard to let go.

Daytime TV is so great. sigh. Where to start?

Home and Away. Who knew how great Australia primetime was!? I love you all (see, I even talk like I “know” them. that is how you know it is time to let go). To Tasha, Scott, Beth, Irene, Sally, Robbie, and all the others: I hope things go well in Summer Bay. Scott, be careful! I read ahead and Danni is about to cut the cord! I always thought you were too good for her anyway. Anyway all, be on your guard. It seems like the tense situations get the greatest ratings- which I personally would be fine without for the most part, but you know… anyway, thanks for the great story lines and excitement. You will be missed the most (did I mention I was obsessed?).

Ah, Roseanne. You are the best. My mom would never let me watch you when I was younger because he thought you were trashy. What a hoot. I managed to keep up with you and Dan back then, but I sure did stick it to my mom this summer, as an adult that could watch whatever good, quality “trashy” bad influence stuff I want.Roseanne? Trashy? What was she thinking? I have to laugh when I think about that. There were far worse thing I could have been watching than Roseanne. Anyway Rosie, thanks for being “real” (once again, talking like they are not just characters, but hey, I need “closure“ wink, so bear with me) There is something that makes me want to live in a simple “Lanford” one day. How comforting and easy.

Other daily shows I must farewell are: Drew Carey reruns, Trading Spouses reruns, and most of all Maury Povich (now THAT, mom, is sheer Trash.). I will also say goodbye to watching mindnumbing episodes of Spongebob Squarepants every day at 4:00 on MTV Europe. Those Europeans are strange people.

Goodbye washed up, cancelled terrible TV shows (minus Home and Away!).

Enough with the TV talk- You are one louse! I guess that is your job, and for that reason I am sad to say goodbye. See!? You HAVE a job! It’s to keep my busy. If Will only agreed.

I must also bid goodbye the terrible but oh so wonderful things you shoved down my throat. I have to get away from you. If I don’t I will balloon.

Quickly.

But, I sure did have fun with you. I will miss having Pizza Hut thin crust cheese at least once a week. I will miss cherry frosted poptarts and soft batch cookies. I will miss eating an entire box of cereal for three meals and kiling it in less than 2 days. I will miss all the creations you concoted with a chocolate frosting base. Wow. I never knew saltines were so good slathered in Betty Crocker. That (eating “crap”) was my most terrible vice, and for that you must go. That was best (and worst!). See, I DID have a good 4 months! Why in the world did I complain about wanting a job when I have you?!

Maybe I should keep you around. Jobs are overrated. Okay, so I can’t do that, but how fun would that be? I complained about lugging you around all summer and now that I have to let you go, I’m not so sure you are worth kicking to the curb. You are priceless. Do you think if I told that to Will he’d let me be a SAHW? I am seriously doubting it. Therfore, I must continue on with my goodbyes.

I must also say goodbye to the stressfree schedule you allowed me: Get up with Will. After he leaves: “Go back to bed… for however long you darn well please. As long as you get the house stuff done know one has to know! You deserve it. You wash and iron his clothes for crying out loud. That’s at least 2 hours you can cash into sleep.”

I like the way you think. So many schedule loopholes you designed. You are a genius! I never knew humans could revert to “cat” behavior and sleep more than they are awake, but you have proven me wrong. They should hire you instead of me, though I’m not sure how the “classy” clothes, no makeup, and messy hair look would go over, or the chocolate smear on the left side of your cheek.

Maybe I better take this one.

Just know I will miss your laid back approach to everything. I am certain I am the most worrisome, uptight person I know, so you really helped me let my hair down this summer. I owe my open, “I’m tired of putting up with crap and being too nice to say anything” attitude all to you. I’m not sure others will appreciate that, but always know that I do.

There are so many praises you are worthy of, but I must close this letter before I tear my offer letter to shreds and cling to you like hairspray on an 80s supermodel. You are a lot better than I gave you credit for, if only I would have appreciated all the time I had with you before I the day before work (boo!). You might be worth the SAHW career, but I can’t find out- plus I would get huge and lazy and that’s lose-lose.

So, heres to the great times we had this summer. I owe them all to you. I know I ‘m becoming the “reponsible grown-up now,” but always know that I’m hiding you away from the rest of the world, so that one day you can shine before them too. Thank you, Thank you, Thankyou. <3

Love,

The employed, put together, “responsible (heh heh)”

BrittnyLynne

sorting my Katrina thoughts

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and heal their land.”
2 Chronicles 7:14
My mind and heart have been far from Kuwait the last few days.

This may become a strange, blabbering, and confusing post today, but I just need to get it out- so just know I am making sense to myself and I apologize if I make sense to no one else… though it wouldn’t be the first time.

Katrina has made me miss home so much more. I know that may sound totally off the wall, but for some reason, homesickness was one of the emotions I’ve been feeling all the more since the hurricane hit.

I feel so detached from life back in the States. I just feel so far away and not up to date on the things that go on. We have a few news channels here, mostly middle eastern and international, and we have one 24 hour American news network (which isn’t the greatest because it takes show from several different American news channels and a lot of the time they are talk shows like Hardball), but it isn’t the same. For example, the big news over here has been the Iraqi bridge tramplings, with the hurricane also being covered but not extensively like back home.

I guess I’m talking generally in the paragraph above, that is an everyday detachment I feel, but with the news and details of the many things that are ensuing after the hurricane, I feel so lost. Okay, so you may say, “It’s bad. It doesn’t take a genius to know that, and you could be on the most desolate of islands and know this information,“ or “Why would you even want to have your eyes glued to the tv watching more footage of the same tragic things?“ You are right. I just wish I could do more with the knowledge I have. For Will and I all we can do is send money- which is definitely something that is needed, but I wish I could just go and volunteer and do so much more than send a check. I’m sure lots of other people even living back home but in states far away from the mess feel the same way, but I guess I just feel like things are a little more impossible over here.

My heart feels so sad about everything that has taken place this week. I have yet to read a good story of hope, though I have to believe there are some that deal with rescues. I have felt so discouraged with the selfishness of our people, but then i have to stop and wonder if I was poor and had nothing to begin with, and had the few things I had were ripped away from me in a storm, would I be the same way? Would I be the same Brittny if my life was like some of those affected? I don’t really know. Okay, maybe I should clarify. I’m not talking about the terrible things going on like rapes and shooting at helicopters or stealing TVs, but I mean just the basic instinct of chaotic survival that has seemed to consume the thousands of people affected. I just have to thank God that he spared me from this tragedy so I didn’t have to find out.

We were without power a few hours this week, which was a minor inconvenience, but you would have thought hurricane Katrina ripped through our complex with the way some people were complaining. I was so angry with the selfishness of some people. I wanted to bring a New Orleans citizen over here to testify that there are bigger things to worry about than not having power for a night.

As we ate our pizza over candlelight that night we thanked God that we had our family in one piece, knowing our minor electric problem would go away quickly. So many thousands of people are not as fortunate, and I wish I could have had them all over and fed them and given them a place to stay for the night. Visions of grandeur I guess.

I think back to the saying “it takes a villiage to raise a child,” and I firstly wish that were always true, but I also wish it could be applicable to the situation at hand. I wish- and I guess this is me wishing we lived in a perfect world- people would have come together in strength and numbers to be a huge team through all of this. Sadly it seems any bond has fallen apart, as I read in one article that as a woman asked a police officer for some sort of aid he curtly replied, “Go to hell. It’s every man for himself.” That seems to clearly sum up the way many people are responding to what has happened. Is that how it really is there? Is that how things really are with most people? I hope not, but it guess I am left to wonder after the way people are responding.

I am rambling on and on, and rambling has never done much good. It has never made a huge difference.(I believe there is power in words- but not so much in my scatterbrained ramblings). Words can only go so far, and truthfully they don’t go very far when something like this happens. It is actions, not words, that make change. I wish I was able to take more action, but I will do as much as I can over here. I pray others will cease with the verbage and the “I hopes“ and take action too.

Anyway, my prayers, as well as the things I can do are with those affected by the storm. It is hard to see that God has a plan with something like this happens, but He is a perfect God and I know He does.

Thanks for letting me sort that out today, whether it made sense or not, I feel a little better getting it out.

Have a wonderful Friday

for the boy

”...Please don’t tell me to leave you and return home! I will go where you go, I will live where you live; your people will be my people, your God my God. I will die where you die and be buried beside you. May the Lord punish me if we are separated, even by death!” ~Ruth 1 16-17

My Sweet Will~

As I sit down to write you this morning I face the same problem I always do: I have a million things that I want to say and they are all jumbled inside and I’m not really sure where to start! I thought I would devote my post to you today- to tell the “world” how important you are to me. I’ll give it my best and we’ll see where we end up.

Today is one of my favorite days of the year. Today 25 years ago the most special miracle happened to me. Of course, I wasn’t even a thought back then, only God knew me. He knew He was beginning the masterpiece “Will” that would take 22 years to perfect, and then He would hand him over to me to have the awesome honor of being able to love all the days of my life. Today, in 1980, your sweet mother gave birth to her beautiful baby boy, Will. What a special day for not only your family, but mine as well. I am so thankful for your awesome family and the godly way they raised you. You were such a precious child and I wish I was able to have known you way back then so I wouldn’t have missed anything and I would have been able to watch you grow and become the man I love.

God has blessed me far beyond what I deserve by giving you to me. I look at you as you just fall asleep and start to breathe deeper and think, “Thank you God for the blessing of Will.” You are far beyond what I deserve, and I know I surely got the better end of the deal.

Do you remember the first birthday I got to spend with you? It was the big 23. I got you your favorite Playstation game, and then you got your Playstation 2. If only I would have known how that game would dictate your life! I would have banned it! Ha Ha, just kidding. It was such a fun day and I felt honored that I got to celebrate July 27, because before then it was just another day with no significance.

Do you remember your first married birthday? We got the greatest news ever! We were OU season ticket holders! What a wonderful birthday present for the biggest OU fan ever. smile And then we got to go to dinner and have cake twice- once at your parent’s and then at mine! That was my favorite birthday thus far. I got to go home with my husband that year, no more saying goodbye at night. That was so amazing.

I know this birthday is so different than any of the others you’ve ever had. I am so glad that once again I get to be here for it. I am so blessed to get to celebrate the “quarter-century” mark with the man that still takes my breath away. It’s like that goofy Vitamin C song you like and were talking about the other day. I’m know you never pictured being married and living in Kuwait when you turned 25. Yet another one of life’s unexpected turns.

You are my family and I am yours. I am so glad that we get to spend this day, celebrating you, in a new world- both physically and emotionally. “My verses” seem to take on a whole new meaning now, don’t they? They are so literal right now, but I wouldn’t change anything at all. I know yesterday we wondered just what we were doing and if it was worth staying without me having a job. No matter what we decide, those verses still ring true. Whether staying or leaving, I am following you all the days of my life and will be content wherever that road takes us because no one could ever love me like you. It is the most amazing feeling to open the door each evening and see your sweet face as I give you a tight hug and smell the faded remnants of your cologne. No matter what door I open at night- whether here or there- I just want you to be on the other side.I don’t care where we are.

I so wanted you to have something great to open today and my heart hurts and I tear up thinking I didn’t really get you anything. I mean- I know we got your 2 cards and video game- those are super-important gifts, but I wanted you to have something to unwrap today. I know that’s more of a girl thing, but I just want to give you everything I have. That is important to me.

The greatest thing I give you today, and each day is my whole heart that is striving to be the greatest fan of your life. I am learning each day to be the wife God needs me to be and I want so badly to take care of you as good as you take care of me.

Today we add yet another day of “making memories of us,” which was totally different than I ever would have thought! When I met that beautiful “guy” at Cameron University’s PE1001 Ballroom Dancing class, I never thought making memories of us would mean living in a world that is not our own, but it is- and that is okay because we have eachother.

Here is to your 25 years plus 25 more! Today is going to be different than all others- but just as special. I love you, sweet Will.

Today- and every other day I celebrate you.

Happy Birthday.

Love, Britter

I was just thinking…

In terms of yesterday’s post: so far so good. No volcanic erruptions at the moment. Tension is still present, but I’m okay with tension. I’m not okay with ash.

I’ve started about 5 lists in my head of humerous and crazy things that I need to write in my journal and possibly my blog. Its is amazing how having large amounts of time can free your mind of tons of needless stuff and fill it with even more tons of needless stuff. smile

Currently I am jounraling a lenghtly list of “Rules For Living With Your Parents.” It’s pretty funny. I think after all this is over it will be much funnier and more appropriate (I haven’t been able to fully appreciate my rules since I’m still under their roof). I’ve also started a “What I Miss and Appreciate About Home” list. Maybe I’ll post that one day too.

Anyway, today is my hodge podge of some of the many scattered thoughts that run through my head. Will jokes that the scariest thing he could ever experience would be to spend a day in my mind. He is probably right. Believe it or not- too much goes on in there. I’m sure you find that hard to grasp, but I’m being serious. smile I think a lot of women are probably the same way. Everything has to be picked apart and analyzed. I overthing everything. I overthink breakfast. It’s yet another strange oddity I am freely exposing the the Nest World.

I truly miss the convenience of having a dishwasher. You’d think with the thousands of large kitchen appliances my parent’s have bought at the Arabian version of “Best Buy” they’d eventually just throw one in for free. Of course, then I would have major fuse issues. I think I’d take that risk. Anyway, I don’t like hand washing dishes. I’m a germaphob and never feel like I get them as clean as a real dishwasher can. However, it gives me a nice long time to sit and look out the window as I wash and wonder about the people that are outside.

I see the buses take the TCNs to work in the morning, and sometimes I watch them get off at night. I wonder what their days were like and if they miss home too- though I have to believe even the poor conditons they face here are better than where they came from. One of the guys that works with Will is from the Philipines and likes to joke that by working over here he makes more than the president of his country- and he is being totally serious! I know some of you could probably name 5 people off the top of your head that make more than our president too, but what is amazing to me about this guy is how little he makes. Its not because hes making a ton of money over here- its because of the poor conditions of where he came from. Isn’t that crazy?

What other musings to share today… ?…

I wonder about what other people that I used to hold so close to my heart- both recently and long ago- are doing at this very instant. We are such an egocentric culture that it can be difficult at times to realize that another person’s entire world is going on this very instant too. I wonder if these people are laughing right now, or if they’re working hard, or doing something great. I try to remember them and I can’t even picture some of their faces anymore. I think that just happens sometimes with people that were important during one stage of your life.

So many thoughts to process.

I also get this terrible image of Kate Bush everytime I am flipping through channels and approach VH1 International. They love this lady- and I’ve never even herad of her! She had this crazily disturbing music video called Wuthering Heights and it trips me out everytime I see it! It came out in the 70s and it is the scariest thing I’ve seen in a while. The strangest thing about the whole thing is that I’ve lived here 3 months and have seen this randomly old video 5 times. I really wanted to find a link to her video, but I couldn’t. You would all have been wigged out too. What a strange TV selection I have.

I am grateful for online radio stations. I miss my music so much! Everyone is asleep (which is the only way I can actually get on without a fight) now so I have my earphones on and am having to constantly remind myself that I can’t sing along. What a dork. Will misses his sports radio the even more I think. Its blocked at work, so he never gets to listen to it. Its not like mine- I can’t just go out and buy him The Sports Animal on cd… thankgoodness. smile

Better go for now. Tomorrow I am posting before the good Lord wakes, so I need my sleep

the trouble with friends

I’ve had lots of time to think lately. I’ve thought about 5 million different things since I’ve been here. How my life is totally different, what I REALLY want to do with the rest of my life… lots of things. One thing I’ve thought about lately is how my life will be totally different after this is all over.

Do you ever feel like you are just starting from scratch? That is how I feel right now. I feel like my score has been cleared to zero and I am starting all over again in so many things. One big thing I feel like I’m starting over in is life in Oklahoma. When Will and I get back, so many things will have changed. I feel like I am totally starting over there when I haven’t even really begun.

Friends are such a funny thing sometimes. I have thought about them a lot too, and I totally feel like I am starting on zero on that department. I remember right after I graduated high school I “just knew” I would keep in contact with my close friends. Now, I only keep in contact with one on a fairly continual basis- a 4 or 5 times a year. That seems so strange to me. I guess it is our own fault, but its also because we changed and became different. We grew up and missed things in each other’s lives. I mean, when we get together we just seem to pick up where we left off, which seems like how a true friendship should be, but we have missed out on so many little day to day things that affect a person that it is difficult to stay close when so much time elapses.  That is kind of where I feel like I am right now. I feel like I am starting all over again.

It is so strange. Since I have moved, I have heard from my best friend only 2 times. We talked everyday before I left and it just seems so weird to be reduced to one time every few weeks or something. I know she is busy with things, but I guess I have learned a lot about friendship and how sometimes something like a move can make someone totally move on leave another behind. I’m not naive, I knew things would change eventually and there was a good chance we would not be near as close after all this was over, I guess I was just surprised it happened so fast. I sort of feel like I have lost my friends to a certain degree. Obviously I have lost them in the sense I can’t call them up and say, “Hey! Meet me at the mall in 30 minutes,“ but I feel like all of this time that is going to pass by in our lives is going to make things totally different when I come back to the point where I will have to “start over“ meeting friends. Do I sound crazy? Maybe. But maybe someone that has moved to a different city can relate to starting over too. I don’t think my thoughts are too far fetched, but then again I think about and overanalyze just about anything I am faced with, so maybe I’m not a good judge.

Thinking of all of these things has made me want a “Lori.“ Lori is my mom’s best friend in the whole world. They shared an apartment together when they were going to college. They have the funniest stories about their few years together. I can still cry from laughing when my mom tells her stories. She was my mom’s MOH and was there the day I was born… she was just always there when she and my mom were younger. Time and and many states have separted them for a long time now, but they are still so very close. They are kindred spirits. My mom knows she can always always always count on Lori because they have this intense and incredible friendship. I thought I had found my “Lori,“ but now I’m not so sure. Okay, I’m positive.

This move has truly been a growth period for me. Whether I have enjoyed it or not, I have grown a lot and pondered many things. I never realized the importance of a good friend until I have been stripped of having any, not knowing a soul besides my family in a huge new world. Maybe all of this time has really helped me realized how I need to work on being a good Lori before I am able to have a Lori of my own. Making sense? Who knows, but I hope so.

I just needed to sort my thought out in my blog today, so thanks for listening

we no longer have a house payment- so why am I so sad!?

Theres something about that “first house” when you just get married. For most of us, theres nothing really overly special or extravagant about it on the outside, but there is something so unique about coming home that night from your honeymoon to the first house you two will live in together.

I remember coming home from our honeymoon late at night, thinking of all of the unpacking I would have to do the next day, but when we walked in, our parents had surprised us and set up a lot of our house already. That was really special, and a big relief since I had school that Monday. smile

I never realized how much I really loved our little condo until the night we were about to move.

Will and I were sleeping on the floor because or mattress was already in storage and the air compressor his mom gave us for the inflatable one didn’t have a nozzle to air it up. We were exhausted from our very long day of packing, trashing, or storing our belongings. I am almost positive Will was just about to head off to sleep when I started to tear up, realizing this was the last time we would ever sleep in this house. I started crying thinking about all of the great times we had had there. So, I inturrupted Will from his sleep so he could listen to me cry and be all sentimental about our little house (lucky him).

I thought about our pre-health insurance meals- when we were able to eat really well because we hadn’t gotten my out of this world expensive health insurance yet (where all of our grocery money seemed to go). smile

I thought about lazy evenings in our living room, when I would sit in Will’s lap on the recliner and we would talk about our days and watch TV.

I thought about our air conditioner breaking down and how we had to use the last of our wedding gift money to pay for it.

I remember how that summer we got the “sacred” letter in the mail telling us we got OU season tickets. Will was so happy that day.

I remember my first Easter there with my sweet basket surprise, and my first Christmas there with my Christmas tree surprise. 

I remembered last summer and how Will decided to start landscaping our yard (his dad is a landscape contractor, so its in his blood- or so I thought). He and his friend Billy made this gorgeous rock bed on the right side of our condo. Will had “good intentions” of rocking the other side that next month, but It somehow didn’t get done until I don’t even remember- sometime that late fall maybe. So then we had this beautiful rock bed full of nothing but weeds. About a month and a half ago, Will decided to finally finish the beds. He and his dad put cedar wood chips in it and filled it with pretty green plants. I loved coming home to it. The sad thing was that it wasn’t even 100% done until literally the week we were moving, so I never even was able to fully enjoy the entire front of our little condo.

Anyway, I cried about a lot of things. I mean, it was the first house we had ever lived in. We filled it with a lot of memories. <3

Well, today we found out our little house will be getting new owners on July 6. I am happy that we no longer have the financial burden of paying for a house we aren’t living in, but (this is probably crazy) I am a little sad because someone else will be living there now. I mean, I always knew we weren’t going to live there very long, and its not like we were the first people to live there… I guess its because it was the first house we had together as a team- our own place where we could have our own rules and could do what we wanted (a luxury I am desperatley missing since we have been living with my parents).

Anyway, that is what is on my mind this afternoon. I am sooo glad that “Friday” has arrived. I’m not sure what we have planned for the weekend, but I know it will be nice to finally get some time with Will. For everyone else, have a good hump day.

Sweet Farewells and Other Things

It is official. Will and I are gone from Central. Last night was our last night. I can’t even express the weight off of our shoulders. I don’t think we will ever realize how much we have grown in these past two years until we get further away and are able to look back and see things clearer.

The kids threw us a sweet little “surprise” party last night. We took lots of pictures and gave lots of hugs. Since we are moving to the hottest place in the world, smile I got rid of a lot of my winter clothes (but I still packed about 3 boxes worth of long sleeved stuff, how dumb) and gave it to the girls. They were sooo excited. They don’t get new clothes or anything, so I really enjoyed seeing their faces. I only wish I could see them wearing them. The youth also got us each a gift. Will got a cute OU Christmas ornament that plays Boomer Sooner, and I got a really cute black wallet that has a silver OU snap on the front. Then, they gave us this huge framed collage of pictures of the youth over the 2 years we had been there. That was the best and is very special. I will really enjoying looking at that in a few years, just to remember the lives that we touched and that touched us too!

Then we got called down to the sanctuary where the adults meet and were given a love offering and a pretty little frame with the church’s picture on it and then a picture of Will and I with the years we served. They prayed with us and then that was it! They youth shed some tears, but none from our side. I don’t mean that to sound heartless, because I really love those kids, especially my girls, but it is time. I am sad to leave them because I wonder what will happen to the youth group when we leave and the foundation we laid, but Will and I knew it was our time to go. Like I said, we will probably never get to see these kids grow leaps and bounds spiritually, but we were there to lay the groundwork- which was painstaking- so that the next person who comes in is able to build from there.

So much more to say, but not now.

I talked to my sister last night. It was so great to hear her voice. We have our differences-like all siblings- but she is truly my best friend. There is an age gap between us, but I think that has helped. We don’t have a lot to fight about that way. smile I don’t think she is going to start school until the fall, so I will have someone to hang out with when I get over there. I was so happy! I just hope she holds out and doesn’t wimp on me (she is 15 but still panics if she is left alone, although I don’t blame her in a new environment). Our last day at home is May 10. We fly out that evening. I never thought I would ever say this- but I am so ready to leave! All through high school, so many of my friends talked about how they couldn’t wait to leave here, and I never understood why. Its like they had this sense of urgency that they HAD to get out of here or they would suffocate or something. For once, I can kind of relate. I will always love where I am from, and Will and I will definetly come back to Oklahoma when we are done, but I am really ready to go. Like I said earlier, it’s time!

I am taking my finals tomorrow instead of next week. As of tomorrow I am unofficially a graduate and in the real world! AHH! smile I better study! Thanks for listening

posted in From the <3,Q-8,The Old Blog bullet permalink bullet 4.28.2005

This May Take Awhile

This weekend left Will looking at each other and simply saying, “Wow, this was a great weekend.” There was nothing overly enexpected or exciting about our trip, but it was just a great weekend.

It started out special. After class I met will for a quick bite at Wendy’s. He told me he bought something for me and wanted me to hear it after lunch. So, we went out to his car and he told me he bought this cd because it had this song on it that reminded him of us. It was Keith Urban’s “Making Memories of Us.” I listened to it and started crying. It was so sweet that he surprised me with that. What a way to start a great weekend. After that I had to rush off because I had a hair appointment. My hair lady is so great. She was so excited about will and I’s adventure. Her parents are missionaires in Africa, so she was really glad for us and the opportunity to get out of Oklahoma for a while and travel and just do this awesome thing together.

After my hair appointment I went by my mom’s office to order the dress I had wanted from Ann Taylor. Yay! Then I cam home, will and I packed and we were off.

Our first stop was Quail Springs mall. I had a gift certificate from my favorite store, the Limited, to use before we move, so that was a blast! I got 2 cute pairs of capris, 3 cute little shell tops in different colors, another shirt and some earrings. IT was fun, and by then my gift card was blown. Anyway, so then we went to our hotel.

I had never stayed at the Waterford, so it was so fun. It was really pretty. We checked in and then went downstairs to Bellinis. We were starved! We are used to eating around 5:30 and by then it was well after 7, so we were so hungry we didn’t even really enjoy the atmosphere. We were concentrated on our food. smile It was really good, I will miss that place when we go- even though I’ve only been twice. smile

The next day was great. We went downstairs for breakfast- which was really yummy. After that, we checked out and headed to Norman. On the way, Will was listening to the radio and heard that the 3 living OU Heisman trophy winners from OU were signing autographs at Coach’s restaurant… so of course we had to go!

Will was like a little kid- it was adorable. He was all smiles. his dimples were in rare form. smile There was this limited edition lithograph picture thing that you could get signed, and of course it was the most expensive. Will really wanted it, so we decided to get it. I mean, he is going to be away from OU football for a while, how could I say no? We went it and got it autographed. Will shook Jason White’s hand and was like, “I really have enjoyed watching you play.” After we got done, he was so cute. He was like, “I shook Jason White’s hand!” HE got a little star struck to say the least. I was really happy for him, because it was a big thing for him to give up OU for a while. (I know to most that sounds silly, but when you live in Oklahoma… that is what you do). So anyway, we went to the game and met up with one of Will’s friends from high school that had drove down from Kansas. IT was good to see him and his wife. It was just good catching up on everything. His wife started selling Mary Kay too, so we had a lot to talk about… she is doing really well. I on the other hand, am not at the moment! smile Too much going on. The game was fun. There is just something being in that stadium and watching those guys play that gets you fired up. Like I said, OU is like our NFL team. It was great. I will really miss going ot all the games. I know Will will too. We had a lot of fun on those days!

After the game, we had to make a stop at Ted’s. I mean afterall, we won’t be able to go there for a while so we have to eat there every chance we can get! smile To say the least, I blew my diet as you can tell! smile

After that we headed home and stopped my will’s parent’s to show off his new treasure. They were impressed, but Will’s brother wasn’t (he is a vet student at OSU… talk about bedlam). smile

Sunday was pretty normal, except now our news is out in the open. IT was a mixed response… I won’t go into detail- it would take forever. I got a lot of questions about going over there with my blonde hair. They asked me if I was going to color it… I’m thinking no.

Anyway, there is so much more I want to write about all of that and the rest of the weekend, but I better move on and get started on what I really need to be doing on the computer.

I’m sitting in my parent’s house for probably the last time. Boy is that strange! I went to the cabinent to get something out, and then I realized that nothing would be there. There has always been a mirror in the hallway that I would glance at each time I walked by, but it’s gone. IT’s just such a different feeling. You don’t realize how big a house is until everything is out of it. I am excited about thie new huge change, but I am a “golden retreiver.” I am just kind of loyal to what I am used to and don’t do major change all that well. That is not bad, it just makes me different from some- like Will who will be sad but is ready to leave.

I want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH to those who have posted encouraging feedback the past few days. So many people where I am from just don’t get why we are doing this, so it has been nice to hear from people outside of my everyday life who can see things from another perspective. Talk about refreshing!

I want to leave you with just a last thought about my house. It is bittersweet. It is a speech I gave my 2nd year of college. I was going to doctor it up a bit because I think I’m a better writer now than I was back then, but I decided to leave it. As you will find out, the ending today is different then the ending when I wrote it- a little sader today! smile But nonetheless, it says kind of what I’m feeling now! I hope you all enjoy!

Thanks for listening! Have a great afternoon.

I’ve moved around a lot in my life. A whole lot I should say. My dad was in the military for 20 years, so my entire life that was the only lifestyle I knew. In fact, I just thought everyone moved as much as my family did. I didn’t know any different. To stay stationary didn’t seem normal. Now, when I say I moved around a lot as a kid I wasn’t lying. By the time I reached the 5th grade I had been in 9 different schools. That almost averages out at 2 a year. Moving was a normal thing, so each school change eventually became more of a minor transition to adjust to rather than the “end all be all” of my career as an elementary schooler. I had come to understand that the friends I made at school would only be temporary playmates, and that pen pals didn’t last forever. By then I had learned the basics, so adjusting to a new school had become a routine of simple rules to remember. I knew to never sit by the kid who ate paste, being picked as the helper for the week gave you instant popularity, and I learned that having the brand new box of 64 crayons with the sharpener on the back was the only box to have.

However, by 4th grade I began to realize that “normal” people’s families did not move around all the time. In fact- all of the friends I had come to know had lived in the same place all of their lives. It was then I realized that maybe moving so much was not normal. In the middle of my 4th grade year I got the news that I had come accustomed to hearing every couple of years or so- we were moving. However, this time the news hurt. I was tired of getting dragged around to new towns and schools. I wanted to stay in one place like everyone else. I was tired of getting comfortable only to leave what began to become familiar.

We were moving to Oklahoma this time. It had seemed as if the joke I had always heard about this town had come true- it’s a black hole and no matter how many times you leave- you always come back. I had been there 3 times before, but this time we would be staying for 3 years. We moved in the middle of summer, which gave us time to move in and get ready for the school year. Now, because my family moved around so much we always lived in the military post’s temporary houses. However, for some reason, this time my parents decided to go house hunting. I was very unfamiliar with this house-hunting concept. We arrived in town and began looking at houses. We had been looking for 10 days in the middle of the sweltering Oklahoma summer. That year records had been broken for high temperatures. Getting in and out of the car and into the hellish heat became tedious. The 10th day, my mom had had it. We came to a house that had just been built. We toured it and liked it. I will never forget what my mom said to my dad after looking at the house driving to our hotel. She said, “It’s a nice house in a nice neighborhood. It’s too hot and I’m tired of looking. Besides, we’ll only be here 3 years. Let’s get it.” So we did. The next day we went to the realtor and bought the house. Our first house as a family- finally no temporary army house. We actually had a house. Now, you may be thinking, “It’s just a house- why in the world did you get so excited?” To me, buying that house meant that things wouldn’t be so temporary. We would actually be here for a while. My family had never gotten too comfortable in one place, and now, it seemed as if we had. We actually had our own place. A place where there were no rules- we could paint the walls if we wanted to, and we could park our cars anyway we chose to. We had finally settled in to a place that I knew I would want to get used to.

That fall I started my 5th grade year at one of the local elementary schools. I met wonderful friends that were not so temporary and made good memories. I finished up my grade school days at there and prepared to get ready for junior high. Now, it had been planned that after my 7th grade year we would probably move. I blocked it from my mind. I did not want to leave the life I had begun to build. My 7th grade year came and went without mention of moving. Each time my father had the opportunity to pick the top three places he would want to get transferred to, this town would be at the top of the list. We became active members of our church and made several close friends through the activities there. My little sister finished her first year at the same elementary school I had as I finished my first year of junior high. A lot of transitions began occurring in my life. I had a close circle of friends, I became a teenager, and I got heavily involved in school activities.

The years came and went. Many changes occurred in those years- some good and some bad. However there was a constant that remained- through everything, life still went on, and it went on in our house- here in my little town. At that point I had grown to be a junior in high school. Our family joke had become the fact that we somehow remained here after all of these years. We should have moved 2 years earlier, yet we remained. It’s almost as if my mom’s statement of only staying temporarily became an ironic falsity. By this time we came to love this place, the place we previously deemed the black hole. Moving was no longer a fear of mine. I knew for as long as I lived in here that red brick house on the west side of town would be mine. However, that year a turning point occurred in my family. My dad had reached his 20 years in the military. He was faced with a choice. He was up for promotion. If he took it we would have to move to Kansas for 6 months. After those 6 months there would be a few more moves over a short time span. His other option would be to retire and look for a new job. After many conversations, and after much prayer, my father retired from the military the summer after my junior year and began a job hunt. My dad didn’t find much here, but an opportunity came for him to get a job in Dallas. Regardless of where my dad got a job, we all agreed the rest of the family would remain here so that I could finish my last year of high school here. After all, I had finally remained in a school system for over 6 years, and had friends I had known since grade school. I had found my niche and wasn’t about to leave it behind my last year. I wanted to walk across the stage with the people I had literally grown up with.

My dad began his job in Dallas, working there all week and returing home on the weekends. My family decided that after I graduated they would move to Dallas. My senior year my parents spent a lot of weekends house hunting for the right place. This made me somewhat sad. I knew I’d be in college, so where my parents lived shouldn’t really matter, but for some reason it did. This town was an anchor point for me. If my parents were not there, I wouldn’t have any reason to stay. I wanted them to stay in here, in the house we had built together. Where we celebrated Christmases, and had family come visit us. Where I had dozens of sleepovers and movie nights. Where I arrived home to after going on my first date, getting my license, and eventually my diploma. The thought of that brick house on the west side of town not being ours was something I couldn’t think of. Moving took on a different meaning to me as I reached my senior year. It was something I had forgotten how to do. It was something I didn’t want to do. I simply couldn’t imagine driving by that house seeing different cars in the driveway, different flowers in the beds, and different people in the windows, where new colors decked the wall and different aromas filled the house. That house was not just a place I lived in like all of the others, it had become our home, a place where I knew we’d be forever. A place where my best friend, my sister, lived just up the hall. That house was where I grew up. It was my family’s home and the symbol of the place we knew we could always return to and would always be accepted at.

My senior year came and went, and as it came closer to the time to move, my family couldn’t seem to leave. P, my sister, loved her school. We loved our church. We loved our life here. Oklahoma had become our home, and leaving it didn’t seem natural. So, my family decided to stay here, and I decided to attend college and remain close to home. Things are still as normal, and I still live in that red brick house on the west side of town.

Now, if you were to drive by my house you would simply see a house. And I guess that’s pretty much all it is. However, when I drive by my house I see the love and joy of many wonderful years my family has built on. I see a place that after many years of moving, I knew that we would always be here. That brings me to the moral of my story. Home is where the heart is. Home is the place you cannot imagine leaving. Regardless of where we may have moved, we would have been “okay, ” but over the many years we spent in here, it became close to our heart. So, remember that home is where your heart is. I hope you have found a place for your heart as my family has found for ours.

Electric Football, A Very Sad Day, and Other Things

This weekend was an emotional one, but has ended well. I will start with the sad and end with the good- that’s how I like things, with a happy ending.

Friday afternoon was a very sad day at my parent’s house. We put our faithful friend of 5 years, Cleo the dog, to sleep. If you are a dog lover you now hate us, but if you have ever had to do it, you can sympathize with how painful it can be. I spent all afternoon at my parent’s empty house (the movers had come that morning) and played with cleo, and just loved on her. It was good for me to do that- that was a good last memory. My whole family went to the vet to put her down, but Will and I stayed home. I’m glad I did. I wouldn’t have wanted to see her like that… So as you can see, my Friday was a very sad day.

I have cried a lot this week about my family moving and how I just can’t call up my sister to go shopping or just hang out or whatever, and Will has really helped me feel better. I know that we can get through anything, no matter how hard its been.

So to cheer me up, we spent all Friday just holding eachother and watching funny shows and movies. I started to get bored so Will and I pulled out this ancient electric football game I didn’t even know he had. It was so cute- he had had it since he was a little kid. He takes such good care of his stuff- even as a kid- everything was still packaged like new.  It takes forever to set your players up, and then the “field” vibrates and moves all of the players- it was a very long process because after each play you have to stop and reset up each man. We never even scored a touchdown- Will kicked a field goal. It was fun- talk about 80s nostalgia.

We got good news today- can’t say yet, but there will be more to come- this truly cheered me up!

HAve a good day

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About

brittny I'm B-Love. Lover of God, my husband Will, my doggies, OU football, weight training, plyometrics healthy eating (mostly!), peanut butter, and all things health related. Buckle up and get ready for my constant embarrassing moments, health and fitness tips,and my effort to rely on Christ while living life in the real world. Follow me on Feedly! Sign up for monthly emails at blove@theblovelife.com!


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