I think I hurt my dad’s feelings today and I hate that.

I didn’t hurt them by saying something or intentionally doing something stupid, yet I know I left with him feeling sad as I got out of the car from our lunch date today. He was positive, yet quiet, and I know a lot was on his mind.

As I got out of the car I just felt like crying and hiding in my bed forever. What a strange feeling for a grown woman, but that’s what I felt. I just wanted God to be wrong or come from behind the corner in some awful leisure suit and be like, “Ahahaha, gotcha Brittny! This is all going to go away- and for being such a good sport you win an NIV copy of the book of James!”

Wait, I retract the leisure suit comment. God totally has good taste in clothes, right?

Anyway- I just felt so bad having to be courageous today.

My heart hurts because I know more sadness may be on the way and I just hate it guys, I really hate it.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. I have lots and lots to talk about. Sorry I’ve been MIA this week. More to come soon.

PS- Remember the whole “you have to move out of your apartment because we’re remodeling and oh by the way since you have dogs you can’t come back” issue? Yeah, well, we’re moving this weekend. Right next door. Very exciting yet at the same time a little melancholy.

Love you guys. I promise- a real post soon! Blame my boss.

oh and PPS- I was totally about to name this post My Sad Dad- but it just made me laugh so much because it rhymed and I felt as though I shouldn’t have a freaking hilarious rhyming title for something sort of sad. Just had to throw that in to make you guys smile. <3

After days of talks, weeks of misery, and months of frustration Will and I decided he will not renew his contract this coming May.

I’m sorry- do you need me to pick you up off the floor?

Wave a Snickers Bar under you nose to jolt you back to reality?

I don’t know how to properly begin this post because there are times in which I think I will be writing similar “life altering” posts like this one in the near future, so I don’t really know what to say aside from I feel sort of all over the place.

So up and down.

Like I just ate a bunch of Texas-Sized chili cheese fries and got on the Titan rollercoaster at Six Flags.

I feel good that I can honor Will and support him by “allowing” him not to renew. At the same time it’s got me stressed about the future too.

Are we going?

Are we staying?

What’s going to happen next?

I would hate it if we moved.

I would love it if we moved.

Like I said- all freaking over the place.

I think it’s pretty obvious that since he’s quit, staying in Kuwait is not going to remain a long-term goal any longer (unless of course something really good comes available in Kuwait outside of where I am working now).

Guys, want some insight to my heart?

I honestly have no idea how I feel.

There are times when I miss America and the regular everyday life we don’t have here, but there are so many things I love about the situation we’re in right here, right now in Kuwait.

Back in 2005, when we first moved here, I had a hard time adjusting to things here. Soon after arriving, I compiled a 10 page list of things I missed about home- a list I still have. I pulled it out the other day and it made me realize that I really do miss home. Whenever I read it I can’t get through it without tears. However, I could easily write the same list about things I love and would miss about life in Kuwait.

I feel so confused and torn. Kind of like Sabrina. Do you remember that movie? That’s where I got my first kiss- at Sabrina. Anyway, Sabrina was forced to choose between two men- both of which were great. What a predicament right? I guess I can empathize with Sabrina on some level. I know no matter where we are we’ll find happiness, but at the same time my heart hurts to think about change.

Change.

That is a hard thing for me to deal with at times. I guess it’s the reality of change. I’ve known all along Kuwait was a temporary trip, not our home. I knew that when we first got here- but I had no idea how attached I would become to my life here. Oh Sabrina- why can’t you help me!?

I am trusting God so much to reveal his plans for me. I have been looking for jobs in the States and my prayer is that if we’re supposed to move home than he will work out the details. I may apply to a job or two in Kuwait, but I’m primarily focusing on jobs back home right now. We had only planned to stay 3 years all along, but during our stay we got comfortable and lost sight of that plan. In my heart I wonder if the Lord is creating these waves of change and our restlessness because he knows we’ll just sit here and stay for 3more years if He doesn’t move us some way.

We told my parents and that was hard. They’ve been really supportive so that’s good. It’s just sad because we all know now that the clock is ticking on our time here. I don’t like to think about all that stuff just yet since I’m sort of putting the cart before the horse already, but it does seem as though God might be moving us home sooner than we were ready. Although- are you ever really ready for such big changes??

So that’s my big news. Well sort of big news. We’re still here and unsure about where God may take us right now. Just keep us in your prayers and I will definitely keep you guys updated on where we’re headed whether it’s Timbuktu or Tulsa! Ha ha

<3

Changes are brewing for the B-Love Family. Keep us in your prayers.

More to come…

I turned 25 on the 14th.

Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s not old, but it does seem as if 25 comes with a whole new host of responsibilities and expectations. 25 is so… adult. I know I’ve been an adult for quite some time now, but when I look back and think about the times I heard someone tell me they were 25 I assumed certain things about them and their life. I’m quickly finding how silly assumptions are!

25 comes with financial stability, “when are you having kids?” and a real career. It’s not playtime anymore. It’s not a “cute” age. If I had a dollar for every time I was called a “baby” at work because I was 24 I wouldn’t have to live in Kuwait anymore. I could go home and retire. 25 surpasses all those things. I’m officially not at the kids table anymore. It’s all silverware and white tablecloths from here on out.

I guess I’m feeling reflective because 25 seems as though I should be at a certain point of my life and I don’t feel as though I am. Sure, you can’t plan life. You can spend a whole lifetime planning life and be disappointed when all those plans never come to fruition. It’s not that I mapped out my life, it’s just that I guess when I think of being 25 I don’t think of “this-” as in me this very second.

I don’t know…

I guess it’s got me thinking about a lot of things. About kids. About how I always thought as I got older I would want to have them. How I constantly told myself I didn’t want any ever and how I knew I was saying that just because I was young and I was just sure I would change my mind as I got older. Granted, perhaps that’s true. I’m still young, and maybe as I creep into the late 20s my mind will change, but I’m really starting to think that maybe what I’ve said all along is honest- I really don’t want to have kids.

It’s got me thinking about what the hell I’m doing here. Seriously- what am I doing here? Is God using me the same way He could use me elsewhere? I don’t know. I’ve been so convinced He’s had me here for this huge purpose and plan- but is that true? I mean, I know God is in control and he can do whatever he wants, but I guess I’m wondering if perhaps He’s trying to tell me something and I’m not listening. Are we really here for “God’s glory?” I truly believe he has allowed us to live here for some reason I just don’t know what reason that is. Maybe I’ll never know. Maybe it is some huge “purpose and plan” as I mentioned earlier. Maybe it’s something totally unnoticed by all but one. I don’t really know.

The above subject inevitably gets me thinking about home. Do you realize that initially, when we first arrived here back in 2005, our goal was to stay 3 years and then go home? Can you believe 3 years is already done? In about 3 weeks I will have lived here 3 years. Technically, if we go back to that “mapped out plan” I referred to earlier we’re supposed to be closing up shop and heading home. We talk about another year, another 2 years, and sometimes leaving tomorrow… we have no real plan just yet.

Then I think about how badly I’ve been hurt and constantly screwed by my job and it’s got me thinking I really just need to start looking for something elsewhere. I think about how I don’t think I’m ready to leave. How I want to stay so badly. How it would break my heart and will to have to move home right now. I’ve lived near my family for the last 25 years and to think of them being in Kuwait, my sister being in college over here, and me back home? It pains me. I think about how maybe that’s all apart of God’s plan. I think about if that is part of his plan and how much it would hurt me. How mad and ripped off I would feel. How hard it would be to obey God, and how heartbroken I would be. I know obedience is not always easy, but what I know and what I feel are so different.

I think about work this week and how awful it was. How in the last year I have seen so many people come and go, come and get fired… just so much pain and turnover. It takes a toll on the people that have had to come here everyday and witness these constant changes- it gets tiring after a while! I feel like my department is the kid whose parents have gotten divorced and now there’s some huge custody battle that never ends. I’ve had a very crappy week professionally, and the thought of coming in to work today really took a toll.

Then I think about Will’s dad. In the middle of the night yesterday we got a call from Will’s brother (I started this post before we got this call).

Middle of the night calls are never good.

We learned that his dad had collapsed- and thankfully Will’s mom was still at the house to find him and call 911. They rushed him to the hospital where they’ve placed him in ICU. He has a massive blood clot in his heart and lung. It was a real close call and very scary. Will and I took the day off yesterday as we awaited updates. He’ll be in ICU for the next few days, but thankfully he started breathing on his own again yesterday afternoon so that was an encouragement. We’re hoping the worst is over. It was such a scare and I worry about Will. He’s so close to his dad. Yesterday’s news really drove home the fact that life is short and we really need to begin thinking about our future plans and were we’re supposed to be. Is it here? I’m not sure…

I just have a lot on my mind my first few days as a “real” adult. Life is about so much more than the small package we seem to create for it. I don’t know what all that means, but I know it’s got me thinking about a lot of different things and possibilities.

Please keep us in your prayers. I will update you guys on Will’s dad as I hear things. Thanks for your support and letting me vent. It’s been quite a week.

Tomorrow night my sister and I are going out on the town.

(ahahaha- out on the town. Little Christian Girls. In Kuwait. Where dancing, public music, and alcohol are forbidden. Yeah- that makes for a real wild night! )

I told her we have to make “a quick stop somewhere,” before we can go out.

She has no idea that my “quick stop” is to the lame going away BBQ for my boss where she will attend as my date.

Ahahahahaha.

“Quick Stop.”

I’m hilarious.

Oh, and P if you’re reading this I’m totally kidding… it really will be a quick stop. Honest. Will has to work- and having you there will get me in and out in a jif (in a jif?? Did I really just say Jif!?! Oh geez). You’re totally hot and if you go on this date with me I’ll totally put out. hee hee- not that way you grossy.

Can’t wait to see you! <3 xox

There are few times in your life in which you find “your place.” The place where everybody knows your name,

and they’re always glad you came.

You wanna be where you can see,

our troubles are all the same

You wanna be where everybody knows –

(screeching record)

Hmm… this is starting to sound familiar. Very familiar.

Anyway- the place. You’re place.

Will and I had found that place in Casper & Gambinis.

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this place to you before.

If I could make out with a bistro- it would totally be Casper & Gambinis.

Guys- they have this amazing sour cream that they make on-site each day to go with their amazing potato skins.

Homemade sour cream guys.

Me and Caspers. We’re tight.

I’m literally on a first name basis with the lady who takes my order. She knows me, Will, and our strange little quarks.

“Not the usual Apple Chicken Salad tonight, Mrs. Sarah?” My Casper friend asks in her thick Filipino accent.

“You said you want chocolate sauce with your cheesecake Mrs. Sarah? I’ve never heard of that. Yeah sure, we can try that. I’ll tell the chefs.”

“Thanks! My husband thought it sounded good. They do that in Canada all the time!”

Canada.

Mrs. Sarah.

Okay- so they may not know my name- but they know a name and that counts for something- right?

I’m Mrs. Sarah. Always Mrs. Sarah Crane. I have some stupid phobia that perhaps if someone knows that my name is Brittny that, well, who knows what could happen! The dangerous possibilities of some psycho religious sect knowing my name is not Sarah Crane but in fact Brittny could cause an uproar.

Oh- and the Canada thing? Totally legitimate. People are much less likely to spit in your food if you’re from Canada. I mean- who hates Canada? I’m pretty sure no one.

Yeah- I’m stupid and paranoid. Just roll with Mrs. Sarah from Canada.

Anyway,

I have a good relationship with the Casper Crew. Yes- relationship. Not just some casual wham bam in and out service. We talk, we contemplate, they recommend, I try, I rave… it’s beautiful.

Well, it was beautiful.

Until we broke up this weekend.

That’s right- we’re done.

Or at least on a “break” which we all know really means we’re finished but in denial. Why do people say they’re taking a break? C’mon we all know it’s over, just admit it.

It’s a sad, sad day in the B-Love household.

This past weekend we decided to order Caspers for the 4th time this week because we’re seriously lazy and fat for a nice dinner in.

The first bad sign was that the normal lady that answers the phone wasn’t there.

I placed my order (minus the usual chit-chat) and waited for our dinner to arrive.

Once it arrived I began taking everything out of the bag only to notice my dinner wasn’t there.

I called Casper’s and once again my usual friend didn’t answer the phone. Had she answered the phone everything would have been dandy and we would have been eating our potato skins and homemade sour cream while watching a King of Queens.

Unfortunately, she didn’t answer and the evening pretty much went downhill from there.

When I told the guy that they had forgotten my food he was vehement (Yes! Vehement!) that it was placed in the bag.

“It’s in the bag, Mrs. Sarah. Our staff has told me. Check the bag.”

“I’m telling you it’s not there.”

“And I’m telling you it’s in the bag. Check the bag,” the man forcefully retorted back in his thick accent.

We went round and round 4 times and finally he told me, “I’ll call you back.”

Click.

We waited.

And waited.

Finally he called again and told me that his staff forgot to put my food in the bag and they would send it over in about an hour. No apology, no offer to refund our money, just a curt, “It will be there in an hour.”

Was it really that big of a deal that I called to get the food that I paid for!? I mean really! It was like this guy was taking it personal.

At that point my dear sweet husband stepped in.

There’s something you should know about me- I am a peacemaker. I hate getting riled up for things I don’t feel are worth riling.  I would have much rather have said, “Okay, that’s fine, mistakes happen but I want my money back for the dinner as well.” End of story happily every after.

However, Will is my little fighter. It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with him. He always stands up for me and defends me. I guess he’s sort of a like a modern day knight in shining armor. Instead of our peaceful ending Will felt it was necessary for him to know how poor his customer service skills were… to put it nicely.

So he got on the phone and in a very firm yet professional way told the guy that he didn’t appreciate the way he spoke to me, and that he felt the guy was accusing me of being a liar after not believing me time after time when I said my food wasn’t in the bag, and how we order from them at least once a week, and blah, blah, blah.

Okay- Will was firm and professional, but I’m pretty sure it still scared the crap out of the guy. His “firm” way still scares people, I’m sure.

It got kind of heated.

I started to get embarrassed.

I stood in the kitchen with my head in my hands saying, “Just let it go. If you let it go we can still salvage the relationship.”

There was no salvaging. They went back and forth and finally it ended up that they would refund our whole bill, send my dinner, and have the manager call us the following day.

They refunded the bill, but sent no dinner.

I guess it was just as was just as well. I’m pretty sure it would have been laced with saliva and pubes. Still- it was annoying since they said they were sending it.

We figured the manager wouldn’t call and our history with Caspers was officially over.

We were broken up.

No more nightly calls to discuss my dinner.

No more homemade sour cream.

We were finished.

Their best customers- thrown to the back alley trash bins to fight scrawny cats over Panini bread and balsamic dressing.

It was all I could think about. The awkward conversation.

How there was absolutely no way I could ever call C&G again.

How it would extremely uncomfortable and how I would always wonder if they were getting vengeance each time they made me a dinner and wiped their sweaty brows with my ciabatta sandwich.

It was an end of a culinary era.

I woke the next morning with their amazing muffins on my mind.

Isn’t it funny how you always crave what you know you can’t have?

Human nature I guess.

The morning turned to afternoon and still no call from C&G management as promised.

Alas! (Yes- a big, jubilant Alas!) The phone rang.

I passed this one to Will. I was pretty sure I would never be able to answer their call again.

Will explained the whole situation to the manager, being sure to mention how we’ve always been pleased with their service and are good customers. It seemed as though they had good conversation.

When Will got off the phone, I asked for the scoop. Apparently the guy apologized how his supervisor (yeah- the guy was a supervisor) handled the situation and told Will we would now be placed on the VIP list.

“VIP. Ha- that’s code for I’m going to spit in your food every time you place an order.”

“Yeah, or Vomit In Person’s food.”

“Hahahaha.”

Yeah, we had fun with that.

So, the relationship is on shaky ground. I’m not sure if we’re ready to risk the awkwardness of calling again.

Maybe I’ll call with another new fake name and new address and then I’ll pay some random kid to get the food and deliver it to my house.

Guys- it’s that good.

Maybe I’ll do drive bys, or leave a thousand messages on their machine telling them how much I miss our old times, and “our” sandwich. Maybe I’ll write them a poem, or have someone keep tabs on them to see if they’ve found a new Mr. and Mrs. Crane.

All good things must come to an end I suppose.

It just hurts so bad.

I need some Ben & Jerrys now.

Who’s ready for an annoying weekly update?

You’re ready for an annoying weekly update!

It’s been a while and I felt as though I owed you all an update on all the exciting and thrilling things going on in my life.

Where shall we delve first? How about into the life and times of my little sister P.

I’m pretty sure Miss P is staying right here for college.

Well, not right here as in Kuwait, but right here as in the Middle East region and not a freaking $2,000 plane ticket across the ocean home.

Crazy! If someone would have told me 5 years ago that my sister would be going to college in the Middle East and that I would be an hour plane ride away I would have pointed and laughed at you hysterically, but here we are and here it is.

P?

Am I talking too prematurely?

Is it me being wishful?

Because you know I will love you and support you anywhere you go if you go to school in the Middle East.

So, bye bye U.S. University. (uh- most likely…)

I guess I’ll be honest on here and say I feel like I’m in a quandary. Ha ha- YES, I feel like I’m in a quandary based on my sister’s decision to LIVE HER LIFE and is something that should not affect me at all.

My quandary is that this is the most absolute perfect situation EVER. I’m so excited about it! Do I feel a girl’s weekend coming on this fall?? And early winter? And late winter? And early Spring? And late Spring? However, next year when we go home it will be the most absolute worst situation EVER. What a bummer, right? Definitely no girl’s weekend. We won’t focus on the negative right now- besides it’s none of my freaking business anyway, right!?

My parents and sister went and visited the school a couple weekends ago and were really impressed. I think I’m going with her and my mom for her entrance interview. It will be a short little overnight trip, but it will be nice to get out of here and see some different scenery. Same miserably weather- but different scenery. Better scenery. I’m excited. I was over-freaking-joyed to find out my sister was staying in the region.

Uh, and I won’t even get into the fact that I want to live through her right now. Her life is so fascinating! Seriously- big sisters are supposed to be way cooler than their little sisters, right? Unfortunately my sister way kills me in the cool department.

Cool department.

Is there a department for Cool?

“Excuse me sir, can you direct me to the Cool Department?”

Hmmm…

Note to self: never ever say “cool department” again.

Ever.

The Cruise

Well, as of now the cruise stuff is at a standstill and the poor ship is sitting in the middle of the sea rocking back and forth, back and forth to the point where I’m getting queasy and am in some serious need of some Dramamine.

I think I might puke off the Lido deck if we don’t stop rocking soon.

I have so many things I still feel I need to nail down. I have mentioned how freaked out I am about being the responsible adult on this trip, right? I’m positive I have.

I’m freaking out about getting shots, being the responsible adult, visas, being the responsible adult, excursions, payments, being the responsible adult… You get my drift.

My sister and I haven’t been able to get together and nail anything down lately- and it’s got me all stressed out. Remember? I have to be the responsible adult on this trip! I’m required to freak out about this stuff. I’m hoping this weekend we’ll be able to nail down a few plans and make contact with the cruise line. Can I tell you what a pain it is to plan a giant vacation from Kuwait? International phone calls are so fun- and cheap (HA).

I have, however, done some of the most important stuff of all: shopping! Ha ha Well, not yet, but I’ve been browsing for things I want to buy. I mean, because that’s the most important part of the cruise, right? WAY more important than being the responsible adult. At least I’ll look good when the Italian cops arrest my sister for vomiting from the Leaning Tower of Pisa- right?

Note to self: Buy more dramamine.

I own tons and tons of winter clothes. TONS. Yes, I realize I live in the hottest place on earth. See, every time we go home it’s cold outside! So our yearly trip to the Mall of America is always during the time in which winter clothes are strewn everywhere and there are absolutely no summer clothes available. It’s killing me, guys. Especially since I spend about 9 months in summer clothes. Anyway…

Where were we?

Ah yes- the most important part of the cruise: clothing.

My mom and sister picked me out a couple dresses when they were on their trip so I have some nice things to wear for dinner, especially the formal nights. Oh and by the way- I’m not bringing a formal. As much as I’d love to- what a pain! Plus I don’t own one.  I’m just going to wear my nicer cocktail sort of dresses (over and over again… P? Can we trade off so it looks like we have a giant cruise closet when we really don’t?) and that will be that.

Oh, and did I tell you that we’ll probably be the youngest people on the ship?

Apparently the cruise we’re going on is generally full of old people. So, I’m pretty sure we’ll be the best dressed people around. Lots of old people. Yessssssss. I knew we made the right decision to have our own table at dinner and didn’t opt to share with a group. Can you just imagine how those conversations would go? Hmm- perhaps that will be a post for a later day…

I also printed out the map of our itinerary. I hung it up in my office and put another one in a frame for my sister. It gives me something to look forward to during the day when I’m feeling “blah.”

At least I’ve taken care of the important things, right? (ha)

All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy

As for things on the job front they’re bad. B.A.D. but what’s new with that? I’ve been presented with another opportunity (and sadly time is ticking and I’m probably about out of time) but I’m pretty sure it’s just as B.A.D. as this one. So- now it’s like choosing between the lesser evils. I feel really unsure about what to do. I’m just praying the Lord will give me guidance. So far, I still feel like I’m flailing and I hate that. We’ll see…

Home Sweet Home

Still no news on the moving situation- which is another thing I’m praying about. I really hope I have good news to share with you guys soon. Say a prayer.

The Diet (and Such)

I’m still eating like a cow and working out like a champ. Explain how that one works. I need to be eating like a champ and working out like a champ- yeah, yeah I know. As always, I do good all week- and as always I blow it on the weekend. Let’s hope this week is more successful. I’ve done good about working out, but believe me, that doesn’t compensate for my weekend eating habits. I’ll be paying for that on the elliptical tonight!

Cake Face

I’m thinking about venturing out with the Mary Kay business and selling to more people than my awesome loyal customer (uh-myself). I think if I could get in with some Kuwaiti women there’d be great business, but the trouble is the getting in part. I think I might leave one of my magazines at my gym and see if there’s any bites. It’s hard to penetrate that circle. We’ll see. Leaving a magazine certainly won’t hurt my anything.

The [Fishy?] Future

We’re approaching May which rings in our 3rd year in Kuwait- which means we’re beginning to have the annual “how much longer are we going to be here” conversation. This year it’s more serious than the others. With the presidential election and the inevitable pull out in Iraq, things are going to change around here. Will and I are seriously going to have to sit down and contemplate our future here and what our plan is. We started talking about it this past weekend but didn’t get very far. I think this weekend we’ll talk about it a little more seriously. We’re sort of in a rut and in this comfort zone holding tank.

Like a fishbowl.

We’re little goldfish in a tiny fishbowl and we probably need to be released into a bigger pond, but we’re not quite sure when and where and all the other little details that make big difference when you’re a tiny fish in a tiny fishbowl contemplating release into a big scary pond with big ugly fish.

Wow- what a nice analogy.

Note to self: ditch the fishbowl crap. Fast.

Sorry about that one. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

So I think that’s about everything. Could there possibly be more? Probably but really, I think we’ve beaten a dead horse here. I’m pretty sure you know absolutely everything going on with me now. What a thrill, right?

Welcome back. Another meaningful week of work begins…

The above number is the high today.

It’s only March.

I need to go cry now…

and reapply my deoderant. 

It’s hot today.

Mother nature didn’t even think enough of me to ease us into Summer like usual. Instead she simply stuck a steamy hot, blazing sunny day right before my very long-sleeved arms.

I guess you could call this the band aid method of weather? You stick on the nice cooler weather and then violently rip it away to expose a big, oozing, bloody bout of infected heat.

The heat is like the stinging alcohol on my existing scabby wound.

I realize about 99.7% of the northern hemisphere is frolicking in fresh gardens, and singing jubilant spring songs, falling in love, and all that springy, warm, mushy happy crap- but darn it I hate heat.

Why oh why in the WORLD do I live here?

Do you realize Kuwait is the absolute worst place for me to live? I hate… I loathe… I detest heat.

I liken myself to the girl in The Exorcist when exposed to heat. If I’m in it too long my head ferociously begins to rotate while lime green pea soup flies out of my mouth.

Ask Will, he’s been “souped” many, many times.

I’m seriously unbearable to be around. I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this information a time or two (or three, or four, or EVERY SINGLE TIME IT GETS HOT IN THIS COUNTRY!).

I’m not ready for Summer Brittny! It’s too early for my alter ego to be exposed! Winter Brittny is so smiley, and friendly, and warm. She’s full of grace and thoughtfulness.

While Summer Brittny is full of sweat, and rage, and annoyances, and snippyness.

The Heat is certainly Winter Brittny’s Kryptonite.

I’m really dreading the heat this year- as I do every year. I was just shocked that it arrived so abruptly, with very little warning.

The heat has seriously mocked me. It will surely be laughing it’s mighty scorching butt off in a few months when it hits 130.

Ahahahahhaa

Yeah.

Hilarious.

It’s here guys…

Summer has arrived.

We’re looking at an apartment tonight. Say a prayer it has running water and no holes in the ceiling. Ha ha

Random Thoughts Today.

Hmm, might we classify this as a Series of Short Posts kind of thing only condensed into one big post?

Perhaps.

We don’t want to get too wild though. Maybe we’ll just classify it as “a lot of stupid things on my mind that probably ought to be posted one at a time but because the blogger is lazy (and feeling slightly chubby today) it’s lumped into one big bowl of mush.”

Don’t they call that “The kitchen floor dish” at restaurants? You know- putting everything into one bowl or on one pizza, etc?

Yuck. No kitchen floor for me, please!

Okay, let’s see. Here are some random things I’ve been thinking about today. Subject changes are identified in bold.

The cruise.

I’ve wanted to post about this topic for a while, but I’m such a goody too shoes that I’ve been afraid to. See, growing up my whole life I was told that drinking of any kind was a total sin and you would be judged and might even turn into a shriveled grape! However, as I’ve gotten older my mind has slightly changed. No, I’m no wine-o at all, don’t worry about that. It’s something I ought to pray more on before I make a final decision, but anyway that’s another post for another day.

Crap… I’m getting really sidetracked.

Anyway, I didn’t want to post about it because I know there are lot of my fellow sisters in Christ that probably have their own view on the subject- some of which know me in “real life” and would go back and report to my pastor that I’ve fallen away and that the deacons need to come lay hands and pray over me.

Jacqueline, Lyna, Megan? Yeah- that would be you guys. Do you guys think I’m a heathen now?

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I didn’t want to post about it all because it’s such a controversial topic. Plus, as an ordained minister’s wife it’s even touchier. I didn’t feel like having to defend my views or having to worry if I were “causing a sister to stumble” so I haven’t posted on it. However, what the hey- let’s truck on. Don’t judge me.

There is this excursion that sounds amazing! It’s at one of our Italy stops. You can cook dinner with a chef from the area and then visit the vineyards, which also includes a complimentary wine tasting. Do you see where I’m going with this? Anyway, I’m trying to see if P will be able to go since she’ll be 18 and legal in Italy. I’ve sent two emails and have heard nothing. I want us to book a few excursions in the coming weeks just to take care of them, but not knowing if she’ll be legal is cumbersome to the process.

Sheesh. You see that paragraph above? Yeah that was the whole point of what I wanted to say. Unfortunately it took me about 2,000 words of tiptoeing to get there. My goodness. I’m a nerd sometimes. I really am.

Anyway, do any of you guys have a cruise experience with someone under 21? Apparently the cruise line is too busy sewing show dresses out of my down payment to answer.

Alright, now that you guys think I’m an alcoholic let’s move on.

Mika.

I have the Big Girl You Are Beautiful song stuck in my head. Which is making me feel even chubbier today. Hmm, perhaps that is why I’m feeling that way. It’s also making me hungry. Explain how THAT makes sense- feeling chubby but hungry at the same time?

We need to find another song to hum this afternoon. Let’s think on that.

Today I got to have lunch with my mom and a lady she works with, so that was nice. This lady is so beautiful. Even in the middle of summer not a hair is out of place and she never sweats (maybe she’s got magical powers! I could have used her yesterday).

Anyway, I brought my lunch from home and I was going to go with them to get something. we went to a coffee place to sit and I was like, “Aren’t you going to get something?” and she was like, “Coffee IS lunch.” Ha ha, then she drank a coffee and smoked a cigarette and was done with it. I guess she’s on the smoking diet because she’s super small. I don’t know why I told you that, but I thought it was funny. She was so matter of fact about how “duh, Brittny! Coffee IS a meal!” silly me. Perhaps that’s what I need to be doing to lose weight. Eating healthy is so not in anymore. ha ha

Ooh! Speaking of eating healthy, you ladies (and gents… if any of you are our there) need to join me and my other beautiful blogging friends! We’re in a Blogging Sparkpeople Group! What a fun idea, right? I did mention that I was feeling lazy (and chubby) today, right? Yeah. About right _________ there is where I would have given you the link. Only, yeah, not today. If you want some information let me know and I’ll send the link.

I figured this cruise to be the perfect motivation to lose those last few pounds I’ve wanted to get rid of.

Fun fact!

I haven’t been in a swimsuit since 2005.

Yes.

You read right.

2005.

Wait!

Retraction.

I did once this past August when Will was home and I stayed with my family. They used to be members at a resort and I wore one for about 45 minutes. It just that public beaches don’t really like women prancing around in swimsuits. There are plenty of private beaches, but Will isn’t a beach person at all, so we never go. It’s not that I hate being in a suit (okay, yeah, it’s probably a little of that too.), it’s just that Will doesn’t we don’t do water.

So, I figured I’d be spending some time in a suit on the cruise. I also figured that since my sister is freaking hot (am I allowed to say that? I used to date a guy that joked about himself saying, “My sister is hot… and I look just like her.” Ha ha. I always thought that was totally vain, and I would never say that because, quite honestly, I don’t think my sister and I look anything alike!”) I ought to at least try to look acceptable when I stand next to her! Ha ha. My pasty whiteness isn’t going to do me any favors either. So, I’m going to really buckle so come this summer I feel more confident in a swimsuit.

Although, aside from about 6 women worldwide, does anyone really get excited about parading around in a bikini? Oh- and living in Kuwait has TOTALLY screwed me up.

That’s the real root of the whole problem.

I mean, I see a woman in shorts and a halter and I seriously think to myself, “Uh- trampy!” ha ha, which in actuality that is totally acceptable clothing in the states. I haven’t worn shorts in public in years either! I’m telling you- this place has made me weird. The thought of wearing a swimsuit makes me feel totally sleazy. Ha ha! I’m telling you Kuwait is jacking me up!

My sister got back from New York yesterday. I think we’re going out for sushi tomorrow to celebrate her birthday. Will (and the rest of my family) was THRILLED with her restaurant choice. Lucky for them, the also offer food off their grill, so my family will not starve. My mom is getting some fancy cake she requested too, so that will be nice. I can’t wait to hear about her trip.

Tomorrow Bozzy Wozzy goes under the knife. Let’s just hope this time its the real deal. I expect him to come out barking in soprano, dang it!

I’m not sure if you guys remember or not, but when I first got here I was really lonely. I desperately wanted a good friend. Well, that never happened! I used to pray for it all the time, but I never got that friend I wanted so badly. For some reason I stopped praying for that over the years, however, as I continue to do my PDL I realize that it would be nice to have a good Christian friend here. Finding that here is certainly something only God could do. I decided to start praying for a friend here. I’ll keep you posted.

What else?…

Wow, has it really happened? I’ve finally run out of things to yammer about today? Apparently so. I really should have kept each topic in my pockets so I would have had a week’s worth of information to post about.... bummer. Oh well, we’ve come this far. Might as well make it some giant post.

Because nothing is greater than being incredibly bored and reading 34 paragraphs about someone else’s boring life too, right? ha ha

If you’ve reached the end, you’re a warrior. Go do something incredibly barbaric and uh, warriorish and visit tomorrow.

<3