It’s Thursday night and I still have nothing to talk about.

It’s so bad in fact that I’ve contemplated opening the phone book to a random page and calling some random person with an awful cliche’ prank joke.

Yeah… it’s been that uneventful.

Sadly, Will won’t let me. He says it’s totally immature to do something like that. 

What does he know, right? He never has any fun (ha ha).

Finally Friday. I’m sure more interesting posts are in my future. After all, the weekend has arrived!

I’m sure there’s all sorts of exciting and interesting things that I need to share with you today-

only all I seem to be able to think about it how much I love daylight savings time and the long sunny evenings.

It makes me almost giddy- like cup runneth over happy.

Amazing how small things like that seem so great.

This will be our first season to enjoy daylight savings time in full, which doesn’t seem all that great but for some reason to me it does.

So as I try to think about all these so call exciting and interesting things I could share with you, the truth is that there’s not a whole lot to report.

(the small remaining grain of interest you were clinging to is now ripped right out of your hand)

I’m overjoyed about the three day weekend, as I’m sure you all are as well. Like many of you, this will be my first day off since new year’s day- so I’m seriously in need of a long weekend. I guess we’ll talk about all these things later in the week. After all, it’s only Monday.

...

I’ve got nothing guys. I’m seriously forcing myself to ramble on- and there’s absolutely nothing of any real substance being produced.

Eh- no use forcing something if it’s not there, right?

Have a good night. Enjoy the sunny warm evenings!

<3

I wish I could tell you I’ve been busy this week baking homemade brownies and learning how to cross stitch and therefore have been unable to post - but the truth is that I haven’t been doing any of those things.

But for fun can I just just tell you that’s what I’ve been doing? That way we’re both happy and feel good?

Lets!

Okay- so the reason why I haven’t posted in the last few days is because I’ve been very busy making brownies from scratch as well as cross stitching something very important.

I have no idea what one cross stitches, therefore I am unable to disclose what this important item is.

But seriously- I’m cross stitching.

I’m not lying.

In fact- I’m stitching right now, while I type.

Okay… I may be lying.

I will tell you I’m sitting here eating plain chocolate chips.

That, my friend, is no lie- though I wish it were.

Like the rest of you I’m thrilled tomorrow marks the end of another work week. To celebrate the weekend Will and I are going to go to eat a cheap dinner at the mall food court followed by a movie! You pretty much can’t beat cheap fatty fast food followed by 3 hours of sitting sedentary in a germy movie theatre seat, right?

Sigh…

I swear- if I didn’t love to eat as much as I do I would look like Jillian Michaels.

Ha- I guess we all would.

The first step to looking like Jillian would probably be rolling up this stupid chocolate chip bag and putting it in the cabinet.

Better yet- putting it in the trash.

But we wouldn’t want to waste them right?

We’ll go ahead and put them in the cabinet.

As you can see from my ramblings, you haven’t missed too much in my life. This week is one I kind of want to forget, so I’m really ready to begin the weekend and my date night with Will.

Ha- okay so Will just came out of our bathroom and saw me sitting on our bed with my computer and a bag of chocolate chips and just looked at me like I was crazy and said, “Okay… so you’re eating a bag of chocolate chips?”

I told him no. Do you think he believes me?

Um, my bet says no.

Alright- enough rambling for today. Happy Friday!

So Will has a pair of pants he uses to do stuff around the house in. I call them “work pants.”

Today we discovered they had a small hole in the crotch- and Will asked me to “fix them.”

Fix them.

As if I ran around the house in a big fluffy skirt and pearls and had breakfast prepared at 6:00 on the dot each morning. Perfectly prepared eggs over easy- never too runny.

Sigh.

The truth is that I’m no Donna Reed.

Times are tough these days in America and I really thought it would be a good idea to help stretch these work pants- so I went to Walmart today in hopes of finding a sewing kit.

Only Walmart- the place that has “everything-” did not have a sewing kit.

So I opted for a needle and thread and a prayer that all would work out.

But we’ll get to that part soon.

So I began aimlessly threading my needle, wandering in and out of the fabric.

Um- it pretty much looked like a three year old hacked away at it. Remember those yarn paper weaving arts and crafts things you used to make?

It looked like that.

You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?

Trust me. That means it was bad.

It was at that moment- when I realized I sucked and was cutting the yarn and hopelessly pulling it out- that it hit me.

I think as a whole we’re not nearly as domestic and self sufficent as we used to be.

I mean think about it- I freaking slapped pudding into a pre-made pie crust and topped it with cool whip and called it a pie.

AND

AND

I even complained about not being able to use INSTANT pudding.

Wow. How said is that!?

Sure- it technically is a “pie"- but seriously? That’s no pie.

I can barely sew a button. I will if I’m in a pinch, but the truth is that I have like 3 items of clothing that I plan on taking to a seamstress simply to sew.on.a.freaking.button! Seriously- I suck.

Do you guys realize that basic sewing used to be a household MUST like a decade ago? It’s so crazy to me to think how much things have changed over the years. It seems like are a lot of these sort of things in which were very common just a couple decades ago but are not as widely practice these days. Um- like making our husbands breakfast every morning, or stitching a dime size hole for crying out loud!

Yes- I realize it’s because we’re “out there” in the world, making a difference, changing the world, being amazing career womans AND wives and mothers. I get it.

I mean- sure I realize I suck for not being able to sew my husband’s pants, but the truth is that I’m in good company. I’d say there’s quite a few of us out there that don’t “make” our pies.

We hide dirty dishes in our oven when unexpected company comes because (gasp) there are times in which our house isn’t spotless.

We’re no Donna Reeds.

I’ll admit, I felt a little discouraged tonight when I couldn’t simply fix a tiny hole in Will’s pants. I should be able to do that! I should be capable of weaving a piece of freaking thread neatly in and out of a piece of thin cloth and taking care of my family! How hard can this possibly be!? Apparently pretty tough.

So I’m sitting here throwing myself a pity party because I’m not Donna Reed.

And I know you guys may think less of me-

but I want to be a Donna Reed.

There. I said it.

I want to wear high heels and make breakfast for Will and never sweat when I’m cleaning the oven. I want to be able to freaking sew.a.hole. for crying out loud!

more pity partying

So here’s what I’m thinking.

There are definitely things I can work on to improve my household. Small things.

The big things- you know- the seriously HUGE crisis things like sewing a pair of pants (ha ha)- I figure I’ll handle one case at a time.

...

Actually.

Guys-

maybe I am becoming a little bit of Donna Reed.

I mean- it’s 2009.

I can’t sew my husband’s pants.

I admit it.

However I know exactly where to go to get it fixed the right way. The first time.

I call that being smart. And resourceful.

Not only that- but I mean, while someone else is doing what they’re good at, I can work on doing something marvelous!

Like baking a real pie,

or- you know, painting my nails…

We’re living in a different time and Donna Reed is evolving. I guess it’s not about living our life like they did in the 50s. It’s about living smart in Donna Reed fashion, but also enjoying the modern technologies time has afforded us and combining the two into greatness!

So, although I can’t sew my poor husband’s pants, I can make a mean pie. And wear high heels. And paint my nails. And dial the pizza guy.

Genius.

xo,

The New Donna Reed

Will swears that cook and serve pudding is far superior than instant.

I totally disagree. The film situation with cook and serve alone is enough to deter me from standing over a stove stirring constantly for 12 minutes waiting for the freaking crap to boil.

Oh wait.

Standing over a stove stirring constantly for 12 minutes waiting for the freaking crap to boil is enough to deter me from cook and serve pudding.

Will has been begging for me to make some cook and serve pudding for a couple weeks now.

This in and of itself is alarming to me. Who begs their wife to make them cook and serve pudding?

No really. Who does that? An old family recipe layer cake made from scratch with homemade frosting I can understand. Cook and serve pudding? Really?

Anyway, because I try to be a good wife I made Will cook and serve pudding tonight- and not only that, but I put it in a crust.

Therefore can call it a “pie.”

Could I stretch and say I made a pie?

Um- probably not… All I did was stir (for a million minutes- watching that stupid freaking pudding threaten to burn the sides of the pan), and pour, and top with cool whip. That means I made it right? Ha, of course it does.

Between you and me? I could have made instant pudding and I doubt Will would have been able to tell the difference, although he swears up and down that he could. Who knows…

So I “made” our pie around 8:00 tonight and really want to have some. Only it takes 3 hours to set- which would put it at 11:00. Granted, it’s only a few minutes -and who knows? By the time I finish this post it very well could be 11- but it seems very random to me to eat dessert at 11.

Although- let’s face it- time means nothing to me when it comes to desserts. That’s crazy. It’s like saying vegetables are bad for you. Or hypercolor shirts are appropriate work attire. Um actually? I’m pretty sure hypercolor shirts are inappropriate at all times.Do they even make hypercolor anymore?

Sorry- getting distracted. Back to pie.

So I’m leaning towards eating a piece of pie and going straight to bed.

Because I’ve always heard that’s a GREAT idea (ha ha).

You know, for someone that “doesn’t think cook and serve pudding is all that great” I sure am staying up late to scarf it down, aren’t I?

Ooh- and you know what else?

After living in our house for only a year (actually- still less than a year) we finally decided to clean out our whirlpool jets and are going to try out the tub for the first time!

Oh- please be assured I’ve cleaned the tub many times before that- I just never ran the whirlpool and got the previous owner’s yuckys cleaned out.

Anyway- I think we’re going to eat pie and try out the whirlpool.

hmm- or try out the whirlpool and eat pie.

Ooh- OR have pie and then try out the whirlpool and then have pie again.

Okay just kidding. You have to have SOME limits right?

As you can see, my Saturday night has been out of control. But you guys know me well enough by now to know that’s the norm.

Hey guess what? It’s almost 11. I made it! I really made it! (ha ha. Wow. This is really sad).

Yay for cook and serve pie (I guess).

Have a good evening- and happy mother’s day to all my lovely blog friend mommies, and to my lovely mom as well.

<3

It’s been a while since I’ve posted my latest weight training workout.

Mainly because despite the fact that I’ve been going to the gym, I’m feeling rather pudgy- largely due to all the crap I eat. Like if I tell you how hard I’ve been working out I also have to confess that I literally ate KFC for dinner yesterday and pizza for lunch today- and had a giant piece of cheesecake this afternoon.

Oh- and I’m not lying about that.

Um- yeaaah it just doesn’t seem right.

Anyway- despite my awful eating habits, I’ve still been consistent with the gym. So- without further awful greasy fatty food excuses- here’s what I’ve been doing since the beginning of April.

For the sake of time I’ve decided to split my workout into halves. I do my lower body one day and my upper another. I know a lot of people have “push” days and “pull” days, or do a variety of different body workouts, but my whole school of thought for this workout was to keep it simple. I have my next workout planned (which I’ll start at the beginning of July) and after that I may try the whole push-pull thing, but we shall see. I’ve never done more than 2 sets when working out. The thought of doing more freaked me out, but for variety and to change up my workout I’ve upped the sets for this particular workout.

Here is my leg workout:

- 1 set of raised “stationary” lunges (15 in a set)
I call them stationary lunges because I utilize the stair step (the actual step you would do aerobics with- but take off the extra panels that make them higher) and place one leg on that doing lunges one leg at a time on the step. I don’t feel like walking around doing lunges in my small gym, so this works. I use 15 pounds- mainly because I’m a wimp. I think next week I might do a couple sets of 15 and a couple of 20 pounds.

Followed by a set on the ab machine.

Followed by a set on the leg extension machine (10-12 in a set)

Followed by the abs again.

Followed by a set of leg curls (the machine- 10-12 in a set)

I do 4 total sets of the above. The lunges pretty much suck.

I then do a set on hip abductor.

I do abs again, but I use a different piece of equipment. I’ll use the chair or will do a plank… I just change it up.

Followed by a set on the inner thigh machine.

I do two sets of these (the hip and thigh machines), and then I use the cable machine to do 2 sets of side raises and inner thigh raises- with a set of abs in between.

I do two and sometimes three sets of calf raises. One set each of the following:

“normal” calf raises (what you probably think of when you do a calf raise)
calf raises with my toes pointed inward
calf raiseswith my toes pointed outward

Finished off with abs

Finally, if I have time, I do two sets of squats using the cable machine.

And then I go home and contemplate eating a Krispe Kreme (don’t worry, I don’t… usually).

Wow- I’m feeling tired already. Perhaps I will share my upper body workout tomorrow?

Time for bed. yay for Friday!

Me: It’s so humid today and I’m at the gym and it’s so busy and I’m sweating uncontrollably! I’m pouring! I’m so embarrassed.

P: Brittny, do you want to make me angry? 1. You went to the gym. 2. It’s humid which gives the effect of a sauna. So it’s like you worked out double. So jealous!

Forgive me friends for I have sinned. It has been several weeks since my last confession.

Because it’s been a while, I will plunge deep into my heart and provide you with quality, meaningful confessions.

Like this one:

1. My husband parks my car in the garage every.single.day.

No seriously- I swear.

I know.

Pathetic.

So here’s the whole back story.

When I was 16 I got a car and- like all 16 year olds- was very eager to drive and be TOTALLY responsible with it.

So the thing with my car was that it was really long and it barely fit in the garage. In fact, there were many times in which the garage door lightly smudged the back of my car. Not only that, but we had a two car garage growing up so it was a really tight squeeze fitting the car next to the big purple minivan. So- long story (somewhat) short- my parents parked the car in the garage for me. Yes, I was TOTALLY responsibile- but why risk me doing something stupid, right?

Right.

So- one night I was being TOTALLY responsible and coming home late. Instead of calling my parents and telling them that not only was I late, but I also needed the car put in the garage, I opted to be the “good” and helpful daughter and park the car myself.

As I pulled the car in the rear right side of my car let out a painful cry of torture-

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH

I couldn’t stop! I kept driving, thinking it would be better.

It was worse.

Definitely worse.

I totally dented in the side big time. Plus the paint was destroyed.

Good job kid.

I know.

Anyway- ever since that I’ve been very leery of parking in tight spaces. Mostly because I suck. Mostly also because I have this reoccurring nightmare of doing something terribly stupid again.

So anyway, since we have the truck now it goes in the big part of the garage and we park my car in the third garage door, which is a tight squeeze (ahem- for me- not for anyone else, I’m sure).

Will knows this awful and totally embarrassing garage story, and although it’s been 10 freaking years, he still doesn’t trust me with “baby #2” (did you guys know that’s what he calls his car? I know- he’s crazy).

So there you go- I can’t park my own car in my garage. How’s that for a confession?

2. When it’s just me and Will eating at home I cover my baking dish in foil so I don’t have to wash the dish and instead just throw away the dirty foil.

Because I’m just that lazy. No other reason.

3.  Sometimes I pretend to be annoyed whenever I scoop ice cream (cookies and creme) for me and Will because “I’d rather he do it,” but the truth is that is that I totally love doing it because I always (always, always) give myself the giant pieces of cookies.

ha ha. I feel like I need to go to crunches after confessing that…

Anything you need to confess to lighten your load? 

Yes.

I realize that it’s Thursday night and I have not posted since Monday.

It’s not like I have weirdies (and before we go any farther- yes. I also realize that “weirdies” isn’t technically a word, however it is most definitely a commonly used word in my B-Love dictionary) stalking my blog hourly or anything, but I do feel like I should call out and apologize for the fact that it’s been a few days since I’ve last posted.

I have no idea why.

Do you ever just feel tired of technology?

That’s sort of how I was feeling this week.

I mean we’re SURROUNDED by technology everywhere we turn. Ha- I even make my living off the stuff.

The truth is that the thought of taking time to peruse the Internet after work this week made me groan. I just felt like turning off my phone, ignoring the computer, and being a technology hermit this week.

Many of you will gasp at the fact that I haven’t checked my facebook in over a week.

Heresy I know!

I’ve just felt sort of “blah” and didn’t have any desire to log on here and yammer about nothingness.

...

Which I realize I’m doing this.very.second.

Anyway, I think getting off the computer and phone and (gasp) the TV is a good idea every now and then. I mean, there is this thing called “outside” and it should be enjoyed from time to time. No wonder we are the way we are (lethargic, overweight...)- we’ve forgotten that it used to be very normal to go outside and do things!

I know what you’re thinking-

who in the world do I think that I am talking all this crazy stuff about getting off the computer and possibly even the TV to enjoy life and breath fresh air.

I know!

I’m out of my mind!

I have no idea what’s come over me, but I think it’s not all bad.

So, sorry for the few day hiatus, don’t worry- I’m not taking a blogging break. I’m just going to try to enjoy life outside of the box I’m staring out right now and realize there’s life outside of the internet.

So you guys go and do the same!!

Dr. Vet’s wedding shower is Saturday. I have this super long story to share with you guys about the whole matter.

In short- there’s more to come.

<3

Monday.

I must admit, I’m in the majority of the public population which let out a groan anytime that word is uttered. If you guys are the small majority which have a pep in your step today? Well- please leave me alone until I can suck down some coffee and prepare for your cheeriness.

We had storms last night which seem to be a continual reminder of, “What in the world am I doing back here!?! I’m CRAZY.”

That’s sort of how the night goes- even when it rains here.

Living in Oklahoma is a little irritating 6 months out of the year. Anytime there’s a rain cloud, a raindrop, or a bit of a cool breeze on a hot day- you tend to freak out a bit.

You begin looking around to see if a wall cloud is forming, if your “safe place” is ready, and checking on your portable radio and flash lights.

What am I doing here!?!

The news channels don’t make you feel any better.

“Well folks- it’s awful outside. In fact- I’m pretty sure the sky is falling,” they say.

That doesn’t help someone like me- who freaks out at any sign of a storm.

Oh- and Will LOVES when it’s bad out because he has to deal with me freaking out and being absolutely unreasonable.

“We need to pull the mattress off the spare bed and be ready to hide under it!”

Yeah- I pretty much drive him insane.

I become like a wilty flower that needs a super hero to rescue her. Poor guy.

It’s like this whole “thing” with us. I truly drive him crazy.

I will say- although Kuwait was miserably hot- there was no weather.

I miss no weather.

So I’m enduring my first full spring back in America in quite a few years and have decided I hate it.

I love rain.

But you can’t simply “love rain” in Oklahoma because there’s no such thing as rain. It’s wrapped around a wall cloud or swirling winds.

Ugh.

So- although I’m not a big Monday fan. I love Mondays way more than last night’s storms- so I guess you could say Mondays don’t seem so bad?

Sure- we’ll go with that.

Now leave me alone. I need a few more cups first.