A few weeks ago I briefly shared how the Lord spoke to me last July, but I wanted to share it again because it is such a big part of this story.
It’s what keeps propelling me though each day of uncertainty!
Last July, when things were going fantastically in my life, clear as day a rush came all over my body and the Holy Spirit whispered into my heart, “Do you trust Me?”
I found the question odd, and easy to answer. Of course I did. However, it did get me wondering if perhaps He was preparing me for something in the future.
About a week later the exact same thing happened. “Do you trust Me?”
It’s easy for me to trust when things are going swimmingly. But what about when things got hard? Could I trust the same way then?
I believe with all my heart the Lord asked me that question in preparation for this season of life.
As I mentioned in Part One, things with the business were moving full speed ahead toward the middle to end of last year.
Will quit his job in January to run the day to day needs of the business. He was a busy bee and loved every minute of it.
I had never seen Will so happy to wake up and go to work each morning. It blessed me so much.
I suppose I should back up a little and tell you that although things were progressing nicely with the business, things had taken a bit of a turn with Will’s business partner.
Not awful, but not good either.
You know how you have friends who found that perfect guy or gal to marry but things weren’t as they seemed? Everything was like a dream...until right after the wedding when your friend woke up next to someone different than the person they thought they were marrying.
That’s really the best way I can describe what began to unfold.
Will did his best to manage the situation, putting out fires with patience, wisdom, and grace only God could provide.
Things continued to deteriorate despite our continued prayer and efforts.
Without getting into the details, out of the blue one day Will’s partner lost his temper and gave him an ultimatum. Either we would buy him out of the business, or he would buy us out.
Obviously there’s lots of background regarding the way things unfolded.
My human side wants to tell you the way we were hurt and how things happened, but the spirit inside of me keeps telling me I can’t.
I truly desire to share this story with a pure heart. I’m not sure I’m doing a good job conveying everything. I’m praying in spite of myself, the Lord will do a work anyway. I ask for your grace.
Will told him we would pray about it and let him know.
Will came home and told me everything that happened.
We felt confused and defeated. Completely blindsided. We knew we were in the center of God’s will in starting this business. How could this be happening?
Will is my lion. My knight in shining armor. He fights for our family and is my leader.
I, on the other hand, am a timid Minnie Mouse. I am meek and fragile.
Oddly enough, during the first few days after everything unfolded, I was ready to go to the mattresses. Fight to the end! Prove a moral and spiritual point!
Will was much more reserved. Quiet and yielding. Peaceful, and relentlessly seeking to be amiable despite how things happened.
Who was this guy!?
We had such a godly peace about starting the business, so we felt lost about what happened next.
This business was supposed to be the vehicle to all the things we desired. Not just physically, either. I honestly felt in my core this business was going to be the thing that allowed us the opportunity to pursue God and honor Him with our gifts and abilities in a whole new way (captured in Part One).
So why was this happening?
We sought God in scripture and prayer, earnestly desiring His will be done.
Will almost immediately knew in his heart what he believed we were called to do, but refrained from making a final decision until I sought the Lord and we came together to discuss. In his mind, the other guy had the technical expertise and Will had the business expertise. Without the technical piece there really was no business.
Nonetheless, we agreed to take the weekend to pray about it and not really talk about it until Sunday night.
As I sought the Lord in my regular Bible study, He blew me away with a gigantic confirmation to walk away from the business.
It was very clear, and I had a deep peace in my heart.
I can’t even begin to describe it, but Will sensed it too.
The walls were closing in around us, yet we both felt this crazy out of place unshakable peace. We both knew our decision.
We started this business with peace and confirmation from the Lord and just as quickly walked away from it with His peace and confirmation.
It was the strangest thing ever, but we knew He was in it and was up to something.
My mind flashed back to God’s question- do you trust Me?
Oh boy it felt like that question was coming full circle!
Despite the peace to walk away, we still had raw and hurt hearts.
Next week I want to talk about forgiveness and learning to trust God through this process, and the week after, I’ll share where we are now.
Thanks for listening. Although this is all still very fresh, when I step back and see everything on “paper,” I really see God’s hand guiding us along the way. ❤️