Because I'm Terrible at Scrapbooks
All About Me

Heart (and Mohs) Surgery- and a real life update

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

Which is simultaneously comforting and terrifying.

After all, we are reminded in Jeremiah that the heart is deceitful above all things, and the Lord searches and examines its depths.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what God sees when He looks at my heart.

Do I spend as much time on the inside of the cup as I do the outside?


I had Mohs surgery on my face to remove some potentially cancerous cells this past Wednesday.

MOHs surgery day one. Glamorous.

I was a wreck the week after my pre-op and as I googled the surgery.

A word to the wise- don’t google worrisome things you’re facing in life.


You will lose sleep.

It’s pretty much a guarantee the most extreme cases or situations will be the first to come up in the search and will ruin you.

I was a wreck because I’m a woman in my 30s. While my best years are yet to be, let’s face it, I’m not shiny faced and 20 anymore. Makeup is a necessity these days and wrinkles continue to appear out of nowhere.

And now I have to worry about basal cells so early!?

The night after my pre-op (which was over two months before the surgery!) I googled and cried and googled and cried some more.

This went on for about a week each evening.

Will, dear Will, was no help.

He’s a guy.

To him there was a problem (possible basal cells) and a solution (the removal of said cells).

Yes, he’s right, but any woman knows there’s more that meets the eye. The worry of all the new spots they’ll probably find in the coming years (a result of my stupid decision to tan during my teens). A giant scar on my face.

One of my dear friends and prayer warriors completely got it. We cried together a lot that week and prayed even more. Her prayers were completely beautiful, true, and anointed. She reminded me of my value in Christ and that He bottles my tears and works for good no matter what.


Her godly prayers strengthened me so very much and the holy spirit used them to bring such peace during the painfully long time between my pre-op and surgery.

Surgery encouragement πŸ’—πŸ™

I had a of of time to think about my heart condition during the two months leading up to surgery.

There’s so much gunk and yuckiness deep in the depths.

Pride, jealousy, worry, entitlement.



Not only was I going to battle surgery and a scar on the outside, but I also needed some heart surgery on the inside too.

I’d like to tell you the inside surgery has been easier than the outside surgery, but I’d be lying.

It hurts to surrender to Christ.

Not because of Him- His burden is light.

But because of my own sinful nature and desire to rule myself and pursue my own desires.

Just as the doctor stripped away a layer of the bad cells on my nose Wednesday, the Lord has begun to strip away my own internal heart cancer layer by layer.

Pride, worry, spitefulness… The list goes on and on.

I can’t hide the scar on my face, it will always be there.

Two days post surgery

I also can’t hide my hurts before the Lord, He searches the depth of my heart and sears my soul with the promise He is ever present.

Just as my doctor took care to stitch me back together, the Great Physician, my Jehovah Rapha, heals my heart. He prunes away the things that dishonor Him, and fills me with more of His goodness.

My scar will take time to heal and will leave a daily reminder of what transpired. In the same way, my heart certainly also bears the scars of a heart broken by my own sinfulness and horrid decisions, only to be stitched together and healed by a God big enough to restore even the biggest of messes.

I’m not happy I had to go through this experience, but I am thankful for the reminder of where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m heading as I pursue Christ.

To our continued healing, inside and out. πŸ’—

On a much lighter note, I’ve taken several days off to recover and have not done a single thing.

Not even kidding.

It’s been the most uneventful and lazy few days of my entire life. Will and I are surprisingly really good at being completely worthless.

I don’t think that’s a good thing…

I’ve only gone out to see my mom a couple times (my sister and Layla stopped by too!). I also went through a drive through twice, but that’s it.

I have church tomorrow and was a little apprehensive about going at first. You should have seen the awfulness of Will and I trying to appropriately bandage my face. πŸ˜‚

Attempt number one
Bandage attempt #1 πŸ˜‚ MOHs surgery day three

Attempt number two

Attempt #2 just as awful Mohs surgery day three


At this point I was having a complete meltdown. Thankfully Will went to the drawing board and engineered attempt number three, which was much improved over the previous two.

Third times a charm

I get my stitches out Wednesday and am so ready! Thankfully attempt three made me feel slightly less garish.

I’m sure Will would agree- this staycation has been incredibly dull, but it’s still been nice to be together and heal up.

So there you have it, not only a devo but also a real life update.

Thanks for listening. More to come. πŸ’—

An Open Letter From My Future Self to My Current Self

Dear Brittny,

I’m writing this letter as a much older version of who you are today.

I have to use my imagination a bit and ask for wisdom because, let’s face it, you’re a bit of a mess sometimes. I had to weed through all your quirkiness to imagine you a good 20 years from now.

Here’s to hoping I’m spot on.

Heck, I’ll consider it good if I’m even half right with this future version of Brittny. Ha!

Joking aside, do you remember the sermon you listened to last week?

It was about time and just how fleeting it is.


I can attest, as I’m in my 50s now, just how quickly it passes.

Birthdays, Christmases, life and death. The days, weeks, and months melded together and before I knew it, I woke up and was 52 years old.

My face is wrinkled and my hands are spotted from the sun. I even bought a pair of old lady pants last week. Lord help us!

I tell you all this because, I’m 52, Brittny.

You’re 52.

I look at you today and sure wish you would ease up on yourself.

You stress far too much about things that don’t matter.

You know better, but you do it anyway.


You’re anxious over the silliest things and let them squish you into a big stress ball.

I wish you wouldn’t.

You work too hard at things that will not matter, and not enough at the things that will matter.

Yes, work is important, but as I’m 52 and seen a few things that you haven’t, I assure you that agreement you’re working can wait until tomorrow.

Take a vacation day.

Put down your phone.

Stop worrying.

Stop Facebooking.


Be present.

Love your husband.

Be less of a Martha and more of a Mary.

They’re both important in their own right, I know, but you worry far more over things of such little value in the grand scheme of life.

Sit at Jesus’s feet.

Let a little dust collect on the baseboards every now and then if it means more time serving Jesus and your family.

Those are things that count.

Sleep more and worry less.

You’re not too busy for friends like you think you are.

They’re worth it. Invest time in them, you won’t regret it.

Keep praying that God will give you the desires of your heart.

I know you’re at a desk job pushing paper thinking it will never amount to anything, but keep praying and keep trusting.

The days go so fast, Brittny. So very very fast.

Stop putting your head down and powering through just to make it to the end of the work day.

Look up, look around, enjoy the day I’ve given you. It’s the only day you get.

July 31, 2015 is the only July 31, 2015 you’ll ever ever have.

Remember that and live like it.


Put God first and don’t worry about the rest. People will say you’re extreme. Love them and take it as a compliment.

Don’t be afraid to sing loudly, eat cake without feeling guilty, and tell Will daily how much you care- even when he gets annoyed by your gushiness. smile

Give more money to the causes you want, and don’t be afraid to say yes or no to opportunities.

(You’ll know when to say yes, and when to say no, trust me- and trust God foremost)

I don’t want you to have any more regrets about things you wish you could do or things you should have done.

Do them.

Know God and surrender to Him daily.

Love others without fear or expecting anything in return.

Lighten up, Brittny!

That’s the biggest advice I want to give you today. Lighten up.

Your life is but a breath.

Remember how short it is, and go easy on yourself.

It’s such a gift and goes so quickly.

I sure hope this letter touches your heart today. Please take it seriously and read these words from time to time.

Trust me, the older version of yourself knows you’ll need the reminder.

There’s so much more advice I could offer (like stop wearing that ugly green shirt you like so much!), but I think this is more than enough.

Chin up, sweet girl. You turn out just fine.



A much older, more lightened up, version of yourself πŸ’—

I’d love to hear what advice your older self would give our current self in the Share the Love comment section below. I’m sure I could use that advice too smile

Thursday Things, 30 July 2015

Tomorrow I’m going on a short road trip with my parents!

I was trying to think of the last time I went on a long car trip with just my parents.

I can’t even remember.

Before my sister maybe?

If that’s the case, I’m thinking it’s been 25 years.

Surely not!

Regardless, I’ve got my “fun bag” of magazines, books, podcasts, and music to sing aloud to (no barbies or coloring books like in the old days), so I should keep myself occupied in the backseat.

I will also try my best not to repeatedly ask, “Are we there yet?” Or continually tell them I’m hungry.

Considering I still do all those annoying things on road trips with Will, they’re in for quite a treat.

Dogs get hangry too.

And it’s a little scary.

So Teddy, our beloved, happy-go-lucky lab, has grown into quite a chunk.

Labs are often predisposed to weight gain, but our Teddy takes the cake.

Sooo, Teddy is on a doggy weight loss plan and diet food.

Sounds awful, right?

What’s hilarious, though, are the parallels between her diet and anytime I’ve dieted in my life.

Just as I bark and squak around mealtime when I haven’t eaten as much as I normally do, Teddy’s right on target at 5:30 AM and PM.

Just like I ravenously attack my dinner and feel “so totally thrilled” with salad AGAIN, Teddy also dives into her diet friendly food and immediately returns to the door to make sure I didn’t forget her real food.

As if her dinner was just a snack.

I get it, totally. A woman after my own heart.

She’s a dear, but she’s not nearly as active anymore. Just as I (occasionally) loathe intense exercise, Teddy Tutu isn’t so much into increased activity these days ether.

Our Teddy. God help us all.

Two Words: Lime Basil

Did you know that’s a thing?

Like a real life type of basil?

I had no idea.

I bought a lime basil pod for my latest aerogarden and was so surprised to find just how lime-y it is!

Lime-y in the best way possible.

My green monsters taste like fragrant citrus frozen treats.

Brace Face
Thankfully, I was blessed to have perfectly straight teeth.

My parents were very thankful, considering they had to put two sets on poor P.

Every dentist appointment they make note of my nice, straight teeth… Which I’m sure they do to flatter you, right?

Anyway, I had a checkup earlier this week and as the doctor finished his exam he said, “Have you ever thought about braces?”

I honestly looked at him like he had four heads and said, “Are you being serious?!”

Anyway, apparently I have a gap between my upper and lower teeth that could be fixed by braces “if I wanted.”

Considering I’m not entirely keen on wearing braces for a year, oh and the thousands of dollars I just so happen to have lying around for that sort of thing I kindly declined.

But remained a little self-conscious the rest of the day. 

Boomer Sooner Season
Guys, football kicks off in a month.

A month!

How is this even possible!?

I’m debating whether I’ll go to the first game. I always like to, but it is usually so dang hot and I want to die, and Will wants to die because of what a pleasure I am to be around when I want to die.

So yeah. Heat. Football. Bah.

Regardless, I’m excited it’s here!

Lets discuss mini cupcakes

Layla and my mom brought Will over a cupcake for his birthday earlier this week. So sweet! Layla also kindly picked out a teeny vanilla cupcake for her aunt Brittny to accompany Will’s treat.

It was divine.

But it got me thinking.

What are your thoughts on mini cupcakes?

I decided my opinion really depends.

It was a fantastic surprise earlier this week.

It was a tiny bite to enjoy without any guilt. I felt like I got the best of both worlds!

However, today I’m feeling a tad overwhelmed and hangry. I did a hard workout and would probably welcome a big fat cupcake if it nicely wedged itself into today’s macro count.

A mini cupcake would probably just annoy me.

So yeah. I think it probably just depends on the person...and their mood. smile

That’s all for today! Check in tomorrow! πŸ’—

Will’s Relaxing Birthday Weekend & Look Ahead

Ant man.., and holding Will's popcorn

All smiles

Aero garden

Our first baby pepper!

Ann Voskamp

Church with Layla
Church with Layla

Ant Man date with Will, At the Movies door hanging with dad, UFC fights, two big fat birthday cheat meals, workouts, church with Layla, lunch with my parents, food prep, house stuff, and relaxing.

It was a much needed relaxing weekend spent entirely with Will. Between hosting his parents last weekend and preparing to go out of town without him this weekend, I was glad to have some time to spend just with him!

Today Will celebrates 35! I can’t believe how quickly the years have passed. How is he already 35!?! I am so blessed to have been able to watch him grow into such a wise and wonderful man. I can’t believe he picked me to be his wife.

Check in this week for Thursday Things and a Friday devo.

And now? Off to tackle Monday. 

The Early Birthday Celebration Weekend

Va clinic waiting game
Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

Weekend things
Leg day
Layla's first movie

Layla's first movie
Dress up with Layla

Dress up with Layla
At the movies!

A long Friday at the VA clinic with Will’s dad, lots of chats with his parents while waiting, a healthy dinner at Jason’s Deli (have you seen their salad bar!?), followed by not so healthy but delicious ice cream cake, Layla’s first movie going experience, playtime with Layla (and my family πŸ˜„), house stuff, super sweaty workouts, food prep, church, and a very restful Sunday.

We had a wonderful weekend full of family and fun and I’m sad to have it behind me!

Check in this week for a pre-workout review and more!

I hope you had a great weekend. What did you do?

Weekend Recap

Friday truth

New crop!


Cookie dough and Oreos

Topped with brownie batter and baked

Finished product

Just when things couldn't get any unhealthier, let's top with ice cream!


Sleeping beauty

Fight night

a data-flickr-embed="true" data-header="true" data-footer="true" href="" title="At the movies!">At the movies!

At the movies!

Lunch with some of my favorite former coworkers (they totally get me), house stuff, workouts, lunch with my parents, ridiculously delicious and unhealthy brownies, UFC fights, and Life Church At the Movies!

It was a pretty quiet weekend, which was a nice treat.

Thankfully, although I have a long work week ahead, it’s my short week and I get to see my sister try on wedding dresses. Yippee!

Off to conquer Monday. How was your weekend?

Part Four

Need a recap? Check out part one, two, and three.

So what now? Where do we go from here?

Good question.

The truth is, I have no idea.

It drives me crazy.

It drives Will crazier.

I began to think this whole unfolding was God’s “gentle” way of bringing Will back to the ministry, but we honestly have no idea.

So we wait on the Lord and take the next step He illuminates.

Despite the unknown, God has given me peace and assurance that my waiting has a purpose

I continue to live and walk in Him day by day.

The unexpected blessings that have arrived in our bank account, the continued reminders to trust and wait on the Lord in my daily readings, and the peace that surpasses all understanding. These things give me rest.

Sometimes you just need to rest.

Rest in the Lord.

We decided Will would take the summer off so we could catch our breath.

It’s been a bumpy start to the year, and we thought it would be good to regroup.

We didn’t just want to jump right into something else without truly seeking God and figuring out the next step.

Because honestly? We still don’t know.

The world tells us we need a five year plan. That we should know exactly what comes next and have a clear cut plan for execution.

While Proverbs certainly offers wisdom regarding preparedness, we also know we walk by faith and not by sight.


We can plan until we’re blue in the face, but sometimes God has a different plan.


God is up to something and wants to work in and through us if we allow Him.

That means surrender.

A word we don’t often like to use.


Sometimes that means our five year plans of grandeur get tossed altogether.

As Christians, we live differently than everyone else because we serve a God like none other.

It’s scary sometimes.

Because we can’t see what’s next.

But we walk by faith, and not by sight.

So, instead of Will just finding any old job immediately, we just decided to wait this summer and pray for direction. 

I would be lying if I told you there were days I wasn’t frustrated, or unsure, or completely exhausted by the waiting.

I feel that way sometimes.

There are no neon signs on the road we’re walking.

No bread crumbs to lead us home.

It’s us, and it’s God.

I often remind myself of the words He spoke to my heart last summer. “Do you trust Me?”

It seems logical to want to say no. It seems logical to flail my arms and scream that we have no idea what to do next.

Yet, we trust.

The spirit in me has yielded to God, and while I don’t know what our five year plan holds, I trust.

We put one foot in front of the other and let Him guide and lead.

We know the next step, that’s it.

I am preparing to launch my women’s Bible study.

Will and I are praying about a location to hold a Bible study for men and women.

It’s the natural next step, and how the Spirit has led our hearts during this time of uncertainty. 

We’ll take the summer off, and we’ll trust Him with Will’s job hunt just like we have every other step of this process.

Despite the craziness, things have actually gotten simpler:

I exist to know Christ.

To know Him deeply. To love Him fiercely. To serve Him wholeheartedly.

This life?

It’s not about me.

Something I knew, but only lived out when it was comfortable to do so.

Five year plans are great, but life really comes down to one question- do you know Christ? Do you really know Him in the core of your whole being? What have you done with this Good News?

While I want to be able to live with some semblance of a plan as we work through this process, this experience has reminded me of my true purpose-

To know the fullness of Christ and the power of His resurrection.

I am left only to respond with my entire heart.

Anything, Lord Jesus.

Anything you want me to do, anywhere you want me to go, anything you want me to say.

Anything Lord.

This year hasn’t gone as planned, but we’re here, and we’re trusting, and we’re finally starting to get it.

We are made for You.

May it be on the forefront of our minds.

So what’s next for our family?

I don’t know.

But I know it’s not about me, and the pressure’s off in finally grasping that reality.

I appreciate your prayers as we start Will’s job hunt, as well as whatever else is in store.

Love you girls! Check in next week. πŸ’—

The 4th of July Weekend & Look Ahead

Road tripping
Treats with friends
Layla turns three!
Celebrating Layla's birthday!
Layla turns three!

Layla turns three!
Birthday play date


After party breakfast of champions.

He loves to cuddle

A jam packed Independence Day weekend! Cleaning all day Thursday (and a broken garbage disposal πŸ˜•), a trip to see Will’s parents and one of my dearest godly girlfriends, a special birthday party for a three year old (how is she three!?!), house stuff, church, workouts, and women’s soccer.


I have a long and busy week ahead and I’m already missing the weekend. Here’s to being our best this week and powering through with grace.

Hope you had a good weekend! What did you do?

WIOW: Bootcamp & a Bible Study (tips on starting your own workout group)

Today we’re talking my latest project.

Something that combines two things near to my heart- Jesus and workouts.

Jesus is my life and passion, and fitness is a giant earthly love I enjoy so very much.

It may seem weird to combine the two, but it’s not as big of a stretch as you’d think.

When you stop and think about God giving us this life and wanting us to honor Him with our temples, it’s easy to see how we can worship Him by taking care of our bodies.

It’s also not a stretch to see God leading me on this direction. Theee things are sort of my jam. They’re where I’m in my element.

I’ve been creating meal plans and workouts for friends for years, and continually get asked for advice workout tips.

Over a year ago, I did Jennie Allen’s Restless study. In a nutshell, the book talks about using your passions and the things He’s wired you for to serve Christ. 

I felt a stir in my heart, but struggled to believe He’d ever truly open that door for me.

Small faith, big fears.

Fast forward to today, and I’m preparing finishing touches on launching my boot camp and a Bible study! A short Bible study and prayer time followed by a quick high powered workout.

He is so good to me, I cant even take it sometimes!

Today I wanted to share a few practical tips for anyone interested in putting their fitness passion into practice in a similar forum.

And by that, I mean a (somewhat) organized fitness event.

There’s a few things to consider, so let’s get moving!

Waive hello to all your friends
Sorry, stupid joke.

But seriously- you need to get a waiver form together and have any attendee sign it. This protects you from lots of things, like lawsuits.

There are tons of helpful jargon waiver tips on legal sites online, and some are even free.

Protect yourself. Do a waiver form.

Location, location, location
Find a good spot to meet, and stick with it.

Make sure you’re easy to find! If people can’t find you, chances are they’re not going to come looking.

A lot of people aren’t in love with fitness like some of us. If you’re not visible, they’re getting back in their car and driving home!

Timing is everything

Pick a time and be consistent.

You probably know the people attending and will have a good idea whether they’ll be there bright eyed and on time or not.

Not everyone wants to workout at 4am.

I’m kind of in unknown territory right now because I don’t have a core group. I picked a time I think is attainable, but am going to be willing to flex 30 minutes after the first couple of times when I can get a better idea of attendance.

Also- make sure you call your local community government office to see if you need to have a permit.

A lot of places now require you to have a permit for organized events. It basically tells people, “Hey! I’m allowed to be here!”

Make sure you find out if you need one, and take the steps to get one if you do.

While we’re talking governance...
Make sure you investigate community laws when it comes to public nuisance and loud music.

Not kidding.

It only takes one call to mess up your perfect boot camp location.

Do your homework and know your rights.


Use sound judgement and be a good neighbor.

Obviously you don’t need to read bylaws to know it’s rude to host a boot camp in your back yard at 5:00 in the morning with music blaring for all the world to hear.

Since we’re talking music...
It’s kind of a huge deal.

Invest in some decent outdoor speakers (if you’ll be outdoors). They’re surprisingly cheap and should last a long time.

Keep things fresh with a few different playlists and always be on the lookout for songs to add.

I’ve talked about music till I’m blue in the face on this blog. I’ve got a mile long list of fantastic Christian remixes to keep things moving the entire workout. I can’t wait!

Don’t forget to modify!
My dream is to have women from all walks of life join me in this journey.

It’s about glorifying God with healthy bodies, foremost. Not how many burpees we can do.

Be willing to modify exercises for people with different fitness needs and levels. Some knees are older than others! smile

So yeah. That’s what’s going on these days. I am really excited to see what God does with my surrendered heart to this calling.

I sure wish you ladies could come work out with me! We would have such a good time.

That’s it for today. Check in tomorrow! 

The One with Fireworks & a Look Ahead

Waiting for her dad
Weekend treats
Play dates with Layla
Trimming the peppers
Following the girl

My summer is complete.
Slumber party!

Pink n Pups
Big and little

Chickfila breakfast with Will, a lazy Saturday afternoon, a night full fun with Layla and my parents, an early fireworks show, s’mores, workouts, food prep, house stuff, church, and a restful Sunday afternoon.

It was a nice weekend, and I’d normally sad to see it end.

Thankfully it’s Independence Day week!!!

Yay for short weeks.

Check in this week for #lovewins, my newest project, part 4, and more.

Here’s to a good Monday! ❀️

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brittny I'm B-Love. Lover of God, my husband Will, my doggies, OU football, weight training, plyometrics healthy eating (mostly!), peanut butter, and all things health related. Buckle up and get ready for my constant embarrassing moments, health and fitness tips,and my effort to rely on Christ while living life in the real world. Follow me on Feedly! Sign up for monthly emails at!

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