A little over 3 years ago, Will got in his car and began the long drive across town.

He was about to sit his parents down and tell them we would be moving across an ocean- and not only that, but we also planned to live there for quite a while.

The whole time he was gone, my stomach was in knots. I prayed the entire time- and cleaned incessantly. When Will returned home he told me about the conversation with his parents. It obviously was full of his mother’s tears, and awkward silence, but it was over. Officially done.

Just a few short weeks later, Will and I were sleeping on our bedroom floor and recounting memories of the house we would soon be leaving. It was emotional, but at the same time exciting. I couldn’t wait to leave Oklahoma and begin a new chapter in our lives. I couldn’t wait to be reunited with my family and lead a whole new life in Kuwait.

I felt so many different things as we drove away from our house that last time. So many questions, wonders, and uncertainties. We simply drove off trusting God to take care of us and unsure about all the details the future would hold for us.

It’s so hard to believe that this week marks 3 years since Will and I bid our life in Oklahoma goodbye. In some ways it seems like yesterday, but in other ways it feels like an eternity. I have truly learned to call Kuwait home, and I truly enjoy living here. I’m comforted by the prayer calls that sing me to sleep each night, and unalarmed by the ladies garbed in all black. I’m no longer shocked when the scorching summer heat takes my breath away, or when it’s raining mud. This has become my life. It’s incredibly normal to me. As odd as it sounds, I have grown comfortable with a place not my own. A place that worships a different god than mine, and a place that does not value so many things that I value. I know it seems as though such things are contradictions, yet at the same time they make so much sense to me.

The thought of saying goodbye makes me heart hurt, though I’ve known along it was something I would have to do one day. I just never knew I would grow attached to this place, and that’s what makes it so hard.

I resigned today.

After days of talks, weeks of misery, and months of frustration Will and I decided he will not renew his contract this coming May.

I’m sorry- do you need me to pick you up off the floor?

Wave a Snickers Bar under you nose to jolt you back to reality?

I don’t know how to properly begin this post because there are times in which I think I will be writing similar “life altering” posts like this one in the near future, so I don’t really know what to say aside from I feel sort of all over the place.

So up and down.

Like I just ate a bunch of Texas-Sized chili cheese fries and got on the Titan rollercoaster at Six Flags.

I feel good that I can honor Will and support him by “allowing” him not to renew. At the same time it’s got me stressed about the future too.

Are we going?

Are we staying?

What’s going to happen next?

I would hate it if we moved.

I would love it if we moved.

Like I said- all freaking over the place.

I think it’s pretty obvious that since he’s quit, staying in Kuwait is not going to remain a long-term goal any longer (unless of course something really good comes available in Kuwait outside of where I am working now).

Guys, want some insight to my heart?

I honestly have no idea how I feel.

There are times when I miss America and the regular everyday life we don’t have here, but there are so many things I love about the situation we’re in right here, right now in Kuwait.

Back in 2005, when we first moved here, I had a hard time adjusting to things here. Soon after arriving, I compiled a 10 page list of things I missed about home- a list I still have. I pulled it out the other day and it made me realize that I really do miss home. Whenever I read it I can’t get through it without tears. However, I could easily write the same list about things I love and would miss about life in Kuwait.

I feel so confused and torn. Kind of like Sabrina. Do you remember that movie? That’s where I got my first kiss- at Sabrina. Anyway, Sabrina was forced to choose between two men- both of which were great. What a predicament right? I guess I can empathize with Sabrina on some level. I know no matter where we are we’ll find happiness, but at the same time my heart hurts to think about change.

Change.

That is a hard thing for me to deal with at times. I guess it’s the reality of change. I’ve known all along Kuwait was a temporary trip, not our home. I knew that when we first got here- but I had no idea how attached I would become to my life here. Oh Sabrina- why can’t you help me!?

I am trusting God so much to reveal his plans for me. I have been looking for jobs in the States and my prayer is that if we’re supposed to move home than he will work out the details. I may apply to a job or two in Kuwait, but I’m primarily focusing on jobs back home right now. We had only planned to stay 3 years all along, but during our stay we got comfortable and lost sight of that plan. In my heart I wonder if the Lord is creating these waves of change and our restlessness because he knows we’ll just sit here and stay for 3more years if He doesn’t move us some way.

We told my parents and that was hard. They’ve been really supportive so that’s good. It’s just sad because we all know now that the clock is ticking on our time here. I don’t like to think about all that stuff just yet since I’m sort of putting the cart before the horse already, but it does seem as though God might be moving us home sooner than we were ready. Although- are you ever really ready for such big changes??

So that’s my big news. Well sort of big news. We’re still here and unsure about where God may take us right now. Just keep us in your prayers and I will definitely keep you guys updated on where we’re headed whether it’s Timbuktu or Tulsa! Ha ha

<3

To have a crapload of Facebook Friends.

Hmm, would that be bad to say in an interview?

To avoid red teeth stains after drinking 10 bottles of Fruit Punch Crystal Light.

Hmm, I probably shouldn’t say this one in an interview either…

My sister is beyond an amazing trooper.

I think she’s a super hero in disguise.

In case you’re wondering, P was AMAZING at our “quick stop” outing this past weekend.

In fact, the party ended up focusing on her! Go figure. She was a perfect grown-up- which once again reminded me that my little sister is in fact an adult and no longer the bratty kid constantly banished from my room because of her daily destruction of my meticulously established Barbie Town.

She was a perfect lady- I’m sure due to my mother’s constant warnings of needing to be on her best behavior. Oh, but don’t worry, we had plenty of nonverbal communication going on- and lots of nudging each other from under the table. There were a few times where I really thought if I didn’t walk away I might erupt into hysterical laughter for absolutely “no reason.”

Fun times.

We actually ended up staying until the very end, we were the last to leave. My boss’s (is that right? Boss’s? It wouldn’t be boss’ since I mean it as s singular noun, right? Hmm, I’m an idiot. I have no idea) wife is such a hoot. My sister and I actually had a lot of fun talking to her.

However, the most fun was after we left and were in the car where my sister was able to unload on me all the mental observations she had made throughout the night.

Sigh… I wish I could bring that girl to work with me. She would be a blast…

After the party excitement we were up for a night on the town… not really.

We were going to go to the Chocolate Bar but as soon as we arrived we knew it was going to be a madhouse, and not only that but parking was insane. So- we opted to pick up food at this amazing new place called Health Stop.

Guys- it was so great! It’s a place with all healthy food (hmm, what gave it away?). All the nutrition facts are on the menu and when you get your receipt a total of all the calories you ordered is attached. How cool is that? Well, cool and slightly depressing…

In other news we planned our excursions!!! Guys I’m SO elated about this whole thing!

Except for one small problem-

My sister and I are really stupid.

There was one excursion we really, really wanted to go on but it was pretty pricey. So- we opted to cut back on a few of the others in order to cushion the blow of the price of the other.

Turns out when cutting the others, we accidentally cut the one we wanted as well!

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Sigh.

IF WE CAN’T EVEN BOOK EXCURSIONS RIGHT, HOW IN THE WORLD AM I GOING TO BE ABLE TO HANDLE BEING THE RESPONSIBLE ADULT IN LIKE 15 DIFFERENT COUNTRIES!?!?!

…

Anyway, I’m hoping getting it fixed will be easy. We haven’t been charged yet so hopefully it will be an easy fix. What an annoyance.

At least it’s done though. Very exciting!

Now comes the waiting part…

Hope you guys are having a good weekend.

Tomorrow night my sister and I are going out on the town.

(ahahaha- out on the town. Little Christian Girls. In Kuwait. Where dancing, public music, and alcohol are forbidden. Yeah- that makes for a real wild night! )

I told her we have to make “a quick stop somewhere,” before we can go out.

She has no idea that my “quick stop” is to the lame going away BBQ for my boss where she will attend as my date.

Ahahahahaha.

“Quick Stop.”

I’m hilarious.

Oh, and P if you’re reading this I’m totally kidding… it really will be a quick stop. Honest. Will has to work- and having you there will get me in and out in a jif (in a jif?? Did I really just say Jif!?! Oh geez). You’re totally hot and if you go on this date with me I’ll totally put out. hee hee- not that way you grossy.

Can’t wait to see you! <3 xox

Okay so I have this sweater I like. I bought it with my lovely girls during our Texas Weekend of Fun. My friends wouldn’t have let me get a granny sweater, right?

Well- as it turns out they did! I totally bought a granny sweater!

Last week one of the new ladies that works here wore my sweater

She’s in her 50s.

Guys. I seriously need some retail counseling now. 

Thought you could use some encouragement today. <3

A thousand people were standing in my office this morning for what seemed like hours on end and all I could think about was how badly I wanted to yell,

“Get the freaking crap out of my office!! I’m trying to do something HIGHLY important and you guys keep bothering me. GAH!”

IE:

I’m trying to trying to create a Facebook

AND- apply the deoderant I forgot to put on this morning.

I totally smell an Employee Service Award around the corner… or it could just be my left armpit.

It’s been nothing but big, bold, colorful fireworks here today.

From people screaming (literally- SCREAMING), “Get the *#&% (Insert: F-Bomb) out of my office!” at coworkers,

to yelling, “I don’t have to take this *#&@ (Insert: S-Bomb) directly to our managers.

Hmm… do you spell the s-bomb word like this: *#&@ ? Is there a certain way to spell expletives? Like a book of punctuations that equal naughty words?… I should do spell check… ha ha, I would laugh my freaking butt off if it came up saying I spelled *#&@ wrong and suggested another way.

Ahhh, another lovely day in the life at summer camp.

Did you guys know I call my workplace summer camp? I don’t think I’ve ever told you guys that. As you already know- it’s far from arts and crafts and ghost stories by the fire. Summer Camp is just a way to make myself laugh a little each day I have to stand at attention as Revelry is played.

And yes, we’re seriously supposed to do that.

Another day at summer camp.

I mean, there really are a lot of parallels.

You have to get up at the freaking crack of dawn,

It’s hotter than a cat in heat,

And your camp counselors are always getting on your nerves!

If you so choose, you can eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the lovely camp dining facilities- with the loooong tables just like at summer camp. Hmm- the eggs even taste exactly like the stuff we used to have back then too!

The list goes on and on.

Anyway- back to the Summer Camp fireworks show…

As soon as the yelling match was over, it was silent in our office and I had to laugh- which is probably the worst reaction EVER.

Why? Why the laugh, Brittny?!

I do that when Will and I are arguing sometimes too. It must be sort of a nervous laugh thing- not a funny- ha ha sort of laugh.

Although… if I’m honest… today was a teensy bit funny-ha ha.

Anyway, it got all quiet and I laughed and simply said, “You see that? THAT is why we need a day off!”

Ha ha. What a way to break the awkward tension- right?

Seriously though! We’re all exhausted. We’re so understaffed it’s not even funny, and we’ve got enough work for a staff double our size. We’re tired, we’re stressed, and we’re at our breaking point. We’ve been working non stop and have been around each other way too much. We need a break!

Today’s wisdom: No days off lead to yelling matches,

And no amount of hand holding and kum-bai-yah singing is going to solve it until we get a few days the heck away from each other!

But no one asks me…

Therefore- I blog.

I find the whole event a little funnier as each hour of the day wanes onward. It’s not funny- really- it’s not…

But it so is.

Anyway, I wish you guys were here. Tomorrow is culottes day and we’re going to make paper mache hats and then decorate them with glitter and buttons!