1. There are a freaking exorbitant amount of people from Oklahoma reading my blog.

You have no idea how much this mortifies me and drives home the fact that I totally need to move to a remote island, adopt a super cool “pen name,” and write freely where the odds of me bumping into someone at a coral reef is no where near as likely as bumping into someone at Ted’s. Do I really wanting my backyard knowing the wind blew my skirt up sky high right in front of my father in law? I’m thinking no.

2. I really dislike fake flowers.

That is all I will say about this subject.

3. I hate going to the grocery store by myself.

It’s like this whole “thing” with me. I mean, of course I’ll do it- I’m a freaking grown woman for crying out loud- but I would way rather Will go with me.

I’m such a weirdo. Perhaps we will discuss this oddity in another post. The shopping part- not the weirdness part.

4. I’m into trance music.

I think I might have told you guys that before, but it seems to surprise most people when they find that out about me.

What?

Is it strange that some proper Oklahoma suburban wife would listen to stuff like that (ha ha- the answer is a big overwhelming YES)?

5. I’m going to Chicago this weekend.

I guess this isn’t a “confession” per se, but I hadn’t told you guys yet so I thought it was time to share. P and I are going to have a super quick and AMAZING girl’s weekend full of the most fun we’ve had together since the cruise.

We are going to see Tiesto in concert!!!

(crickets chirping)

Okay- so I know that’s like dolphin squeak to most of you- but trust me, it’s like huge, huge, huge.

Tiesto is the modern father of trance. He truly epitomizes what trance music is today. Trust me- it’s a big deal. I can’t even put into words how much I’m looking forward to this trip and how amazing this concert will be.

I downloaded his newest album today to get me ready for my trip. I had listened to it last week and didn’t really like it, but today I decided that for the most part I really do. To humor me you should download Century ft. Calvin Harris, Fresh Fruit, and Who Wants to Be Alone ft. Nelly Furtado from his newest album, Kaleidoscope. They’re the ones I’m listening to the most right now. I think the Nelly Furtado song is way hot.

YAY for an amazing girl’s weekend!

I can’t wait to tell you guys all about it.

So that’s my big news/"confession."

Anything you need to get off your chest?

Going over my sister’s grocery list and having full detailed discussions about the food she plans on buying.

You’d be amazed at how fascinating 100 Calorie Packs, avocados, and yogurt can be. 

So there’s like a slew of things-

very important things I might add-

that we need to discuss.

Only

I’m lying and there’s really not much worth sharing.

Actually…

I could share some pretty freaking HILARIOUS text messages back and forth between myself and sister involving all sorts of random topics.

But for the sake of sparing our pride it’s best I do not share.

Then there’s the fact that we have a mouse in our garage that we’ve been trying to catch for um

like two weeks now

but that sneaky bastard keeps outsmarting us.

It’s a genius mouse.

A genius mouse!

Like the freaking Einstein Bill Gates Macgyver of all mice.

I hate that guy!

So we’ve tried everything

and yet he’s somehow managed to escape from everything we’ve planted.

Except…

this week he was no where to be found,

and the cheese we left out remained untouched.

Which freaks me the crap out because:

A. It’s inevitable some awful smell is going to start permeating the garage because by some freak chance we actually managed to kill the guy with who knows what.(And don’t you love how I just assume it’s a guy? I mean we all know it has to be! He eats and leaves without cleaning up after himself! Enough said.)

B. There’s a bigger more skilled Einstein Bill Gates Macgyver of all mice that ate the late Einstein Bill Gates Macgyver of all mice and is now going to way, way, way outsmart us.

Like we’re going to walk out to our cars one day and he’s going to be smoking a pipe reading a Sherlock Holmes novel and asking for me to bring him his slippers.

Nice.

Anyway, it’s been eerily quiet this week and I’m not sure I like that. I mean, unless of course he is in fact dead and there’s no second mouse lurking around the corner.

Then we’re good.

Then of course there’s the fact that it’s GAME DAY.

Okay

Like in one hour it’s GAME DAY.

Yes.

I still say it with excitement in my voice. Who cares if we blow this year (okay I’m totally lying. I most definitely care if we blow this year… this is simply a psychological tactic to prepare myself for any potential future disappointment), I’m excited about game day.

I’m also excited about Olive Garden’s Never Ending Pasta Bowl.

We’ll be indulging after the game tomorrow. Hello fatness! Who am I kidding? I’ll get one bowl and be done (um… I hope anyway), but it’s still more economical to do it that way.

Sure Brittny… keep telling yourself that’s why you need pasta soaked in alfredo sauce.

Ramble Ramble…

I guess I need to get off so I make sure I’m up early enough to work off a small fraction of my lunch at the gym tomorrow morning. Hope you guys had a great Friday!

I <3 Chicago.

I already knew that because I've been there before, however this past weekend reaffirmed it once again.

I had the most amazing weekend with my mom and sister, and it's something I'll treasure for a long time to come. Especially since I have no idea when all three of us will be together again all as once.

I flew to Chicago Thursday night and was greeted by my parents and sister. We had a late dinner at Gino's Pizza- which was amazing. Nothing welcomes you to Chicago quite like a deep dish pizza blanketed in layers of cheese at 9:00 at night.

Friday morning my dad took off for a short trip with his brother for a guys weekend in Indianapolis, so it was just us girls left on our own to shop and have a wonderful time.

Saturday morning we started off at Panera Bread followed by shopping, shopping, and more shopping. I haven't been shopping in AGES. Will and I are on the Dave Ramsey plan and we've got that "gazelle intensity" to get out of debt and make sacrifices other places. Anyway, it was so.much.fun. to buy new clothes. My mom is the best. So we did that all day Saturday- followed by The Cheesecake Factory for dinner. It was a great day- and I was actually a tiny bit sore from all that walking. I don't think that's good! What does that say about my gym workout?! Perhaps I need to change up my routine?

Sunday was a lot of fun. My sister stayed the night in her apartment the night before so my mom and I got an early start on all the Labor Day sales followed by a trip to the Shed's Aquarium.

Along with the entire state of Illinois.

It was insane.

A zoo.

An insane zoo aquarium.

It was still fun. This was my second time to go. I went with my dad the first time so it's cool that I got to go with my mom this time. After Shed's my sister met up with us and we had some coffee and had a relaxing afternoon followed by-

The Blue Man Group that night!

It was such a fun show and I'm so glad we went. Guys, my mom was freaking cracking us up so much. I don't think I've heard her cackle or laugh so hard she cried as much as I did that night. It was classic and I simply can't do it justice in this blog post. The funniest part was at the end. There's this whole "thing" with strobe lights and loud music and toilet paper being pulled from holders all over the auditorium. My mom kept yelling at me and P to "Pull! Pull! Pull!" while she was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face and while the strobes were going and the music was pumping. P just looked at me and yelled, "I feel like we're at a rave with our mom!" Too funny.

Anyway, that was lots of fun.

After the show we went for a late steak- which is where I caught the end of the OU game.

And saw all I really needed to see.

I called Will immediately after (who was down in Dallas to watch the loss) and told him that perhaps this was good. Perhaps it's good that we are disappointed at the start of the season instead of the end like always.

He didn't agree.

Yesterday was spent doing more shopping. This time for P's room. Groceries, stuff for school, etc. It was fun. I love her place and I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that she's all grown up and in this giant city living this adult life. It makes me look at myself and realize how old I've gotten as well and how surreal it seems. I still remember being in 5th grade and having her barf on my hair while we were visiting my grandparents in Iowa. Good times.

She's come a long way from those days. She's a woman in the city. Remember this post? Its sort of the same, only with her now. She’s back in America, all grown up, and experiencing this whole new life for the first time and I’m glad I get to be a small part of it.

So that was Sunday. Oh- and we also had a ridiculous amount of food. We at at the Five Guys burger joint, followed by dessert at the Ghiradelli place (um or however you spell it) and, well, I think the list goes on from there.

It was around the time I finished my dessert that afternoon that I started to feel a little bummed.

Which is what I promised Will I wouldn’t do. He knows me so well. He made me promise not to get bummed out early and to enjoy every minute of my time with my mom and sister until the end. So- I tried to do that.

P and I walked around and she took me to “The Bean” (not the official name, but the one I’m pretty sure most people know it by). It was a nice walk, perfect weather, and really nice. Definitely a walk I appreciated and will tuck away in my little pocket of memories I want to keep forever (whatever that means...).

We had a quiet night in and watched TV and just hung out, which was nice. It’s those little things of doing “nothing” that you can sometimes miss the most when you’re away from your family.

Today came early and it was sad to say goodbye. I hope we’re all able to see each other soon, and I hate that we’re all so far away now. I guess that’s normal though, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it, right?

So here I am, back in Oklahoma (um, which is a far cry from Chicago, right?). It’s been a typical evening, followed by a typical (thankfully short) week, followed by a typical weekend.

It was nice to step out of the mundaneness for a while. I’m thankful for my trip.

And I’m also thankful for the Chicago pizza which will be arriving to my door Wednesday afternoon.

I’m off to watch TV with Will.

Happy Labor Day!

A year ago today I was embarking on the most amazing trip ever. I must say, 5 August 2009 was far different different than 5 August 2008. Instead of boarding our amazing cruiseship and getting ready for what truly was one of the best three weeks of my life, I sat in my little cubicle reading the Federal Acquisition Regulation and trying to make heads and tails of our finance guy’s pricing sheet.

Good times.

I must admit, my heart hurt a little bit today when I got up. I know it sounds silly to be all reminiscent and bummed about the “anniversary” of my dream vacation, but I was.

I guess that’s got to be normal, right?

Please tell me that’s normal.

Okay- so we all agree that my feelings today were normal.

What is not normal is looking ahead to the next 20 days of my life thinking about how I’ll be all, “Oh on the 14th I was in Pompeii” or “On the 12th I was in Tunisia. Sigh...”

I think that borderlines as a little crazy. When I stop and think about it- that trip, last year, was the last time I took a vacation! Granted, it was three weeks (Yes, my boss is amazing. I had already had this trip planned before taking the job so she let me go.)- but it was a whole year ago! Craziness. I did take two days in January to go to Miami, but that’s more of a long weekend.

Anyway, perhaps I’m just bummed because I fully realize that the next time I’ll get to do something that spectacular is when you win the lottery and give me all your earnings we retire.

I guess I am being rational, right?

Oh, and so today I went back for old time’s sake (um, which bummed me out even more) and read about all the amazing adventures me and P went on. It’s sort of funny to look back and read these now because it was our chance to say goodbye to each other before she headed to school in Dubai for four years and Will and I settled down in Oklahoma.

Well, I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you that P is moving back to America! She’ll still be far away, but not an ocean away- and close enough for long girl weekends! I’m very pleased with this decision.

I tell you that because it’s funny how things work out. Last year i was just certain I’d never see my sister again, and here we are a year later and she’s going to be fairly close again. I guess that’s why we’re not meant to worry about things, right?

Enough rambling today. Here’s to the most amazing trip of my life, and some of the best memories I’ve ever made-

and here’s to planning something just as great in 2010, perhaps?

Um- only way way shorter. I’m pretty sure that three week vacation thing was a one time deal.

Or Agony.

But really- aren’t they one in the same?

Oh- and sorry to all you auditors out that that may read this. I know it’s your job and it’s helpful to us and all that crap- but seriously?- audits suck.

And I’m sure you hear that all the time.

P says I should be glad I’m having a work audit and not a life audit. She says scientologists have life audits or something like that.

Is that true?

I’m pretty sure I would fail a life audit.

It would go something like this:

Have you been diligent to stay below your alloted fat and calorie intake on a daily basis?

(silence)

Have you helped old ladies across the street?

(silence)

Have you read all the Harry Potter books?

(silence)

Have you read any of the Harry Potter books?

(silence)

Have you made sure not to daydream about famous actors such as Orlando Bloom or James Franco?

(silence)

Do you know who the Secretary of Agricultural Relational Studies and Law is? (ha ha)

(silence)

Yeah… pretty sure I would fail a life audit. Although, I thought of a ton of freaking hilarious questions that may have come up during this life audit of mine- only to avoid you guys thinking I’m a total wack-o I kept it mild.

So, there you have it. Getting audited- but thankfully not life audited.

Hope you guys are having a good week!

P:I just read your blog. I’m pleased to hear you were wearing underwear.

Me:Yeah- I was just going to direct you there. It was bad. I felt all dent-y and fat all day.

P:Believe me he wasn’t looking at that. He hasn’t seen young a** like that in 30 years. You just gave him his Father’s Day early.

***

Coworker:You should have just played it off and talked about it- making everyone else uncomfortable too! You should have been all, “Hey Mother-in-law- I didn’t mean to leave you out! I guess you need to see too!” and then pretend to lift your skirt.

HA HA

Yeah- I can just imagine how that would have went over with Pat.

Fun times. Just thought I’d share because both these comments cracked me up.

Watching “Jon and Kate” right now. I think they’re announcing their divorce tonight. I know we’re outsiders looking in, and we only see a portion of their life, but anybody have opinions on this situation?

More to come <3

Me: It’s so humid today and I’m at the gym and it’s so busy and I’m sweating uncontrollably! I’m pouring! I’m so embarrassed.

P: Brittny, do you want to make me angry? 1. You went to the gym. 2. It’s humid which gives the effect of a sauna. So it’s like you worked out double. So jealous!

-We’re now the proud owners of a “new” 2001 Ford pick-up truck. It only has 48,000 miles on it, so it doesn’t seem as old when you think of it that way. Plus Will is in Heaven now that he finally has a truck to drive again.

-My boss sent me and my coworker flowers Friday. You can see pictures of how beautiful they are on my Flickr. It totally brightened my day.

-We’re really enjoying hearing Dave Ramsey’s sermons (see below). I think we might take the plunge and do the 13 week study too.

-P is moving back home (home as in Kuwait) this semester. I will tell you more soon. Actually hopefully she will tell you more soon. I’m trying to get her to guest blog sometime next week.

-Our Sooners have done well thus far during March madness. There’s still a lot to play, but hopefully make it another round or two! Oh and hey- I’m not sucking all that much in our bracket competition either!

-I’m headed down to Texas on a day trip this week. I’m sort of excited about it but at the same time sort of dreading it because of how late I’ll get home plus all the work I’ll have to catch up on

-We’re going to another Thunder game this week, so that should be fun. You can’t beat $10 cheap seats, right!?

-Have I mentioned I love, love, love daylight saving’s time? Please dear God don’t let them take this away from us. This will be the first time in three years to experience a full daylight savings time and I’m so excited about it.

-I have this awful and intense desire to make a cake, and I have no.idea.why. Please don’t let me make one (but I probably will :( ).

-There’s just not much else going on right now- and I’m actually okay with that.

Have a lovely day! You know- because Mondays are always lovely. 

The following is an “everyday,” typical email exchange with my sister. My emails are in bold, hers are regular.I realize the fat talk gets old after a while, but I promise we switch topics from Panamanian prisons, to calculating tips, to even our own reality show during this conversation- so hang with me.These took place on two different days, but they flowed so well I lumped them together. Let the madness begin...

I just ate a whole pint of chocolate ice cream.

And it wasn’t even GOOD ice cream.

I think that that calls for me to use the elliptical tomorrow for the first time since last summer. I feel like I should celebrate this red-faced, sweaty momentous occasion with a donut or something.

**

Ha ha. I just had a large Java Chiller from Sonic- which is basically a whole pint of chocolate ice cream with a hint of coffee. I didn’t go to the gym at all this weekend and I had olive garden WITH dessert yesterday.

Fat.

**

Ughhh I KNOW. And- ugh i just don’t want to go back to school. I say we quit talking crap and book the tickets.

PS- I hope your Olive Garden dessert was good.

**

It was. Black tie. Yum. Plus I had fettuccine (um how in the world do people expect you to know how to spell that!?) which- well- you know how amazing that is.

We’ll sort all the logistics out when we get there. Although “fat,” I’m sure some Panamanian would love to give us a job at Panama Jacks waitressing. The only trouble is that I would suck at getting proper change and would most likely get us fired in a hurry.

**

Ha, that’s SO TRUE. Somehow the tip would be like “10% of 100” or something. Then we would get charged with embezzlement for taking an extra 80 dollars. Then wind up in Panamanian prison. Which wouldn’t be all bad, considering we could be the Scolfield’s. I definitely get Lincoln.

I’m sorry I can’t type properly, my fingers are so huge, swollen, and fat from the dairy I just consumed.

A flower shop would be nice! We could go the simple route an own a cafe, and employ Panamaniann business students (who know how to calculate tips so we wouldn’t be
getting screwed).

Are you at work?

**

We are so resourceful- your plan is brilliant! Actually- I used to think we sucked at being resourceful but then we went on the cruise and functioned totally fine in like 19 cities. I know for sure we’ll kick butt on amazing race one day.

I’m having 2 PB sandwiches for lunch. Why do I feel nostalgic all of a sudden? Like I need a blue mat to nap on and a carton of milk??

**

My favorite food ever. I decided a while back that if I was living on a deserted island alone for the rest of my life, peanut butter and/or reeses would DEFINITELY be my food of choice. Seeing as I wouldn’t have to worry about all the saturated fat I was consuming since I would never see anyone ever again, it works. What about you?

**

That is hilarious- and a very valid point. I think I would go with that too, or perhaps pasta. I could eat loads and loads and if I was able to take different sauces too (which is something I assume you have to negotiate in when preparing to go to a deserted island forever...) I’d be set for life.

And happy.

When do you leave for Kuwait?

**

I leave on your anniversary. Thank the Lord. Its been 3 weeks since I was there last and I feel like it’s been too long. How could anyone possibly think I like it here? AHHHH I need to start this Panamanian flower shop business ASAP.

**

We ought to make a countdown to the semester’s end and you move back. Seriously. What’s you’re last day of school? How fun would that be!? I could make the first half and you could make the 2nd half. We wouldn’t have to make it a chain or anything, but just something you could pull off and throw away.

The chain reminds me of the one in Mareena Towers. As crazy as it sounds, when I look back that summer was pretty fun

(Just FYI- if you’re curious you can read about this time during the summer of 2005 archives)

**
Oh my gosh me too. It was the weirdest time of my life, such a crazy transition period. I have a playlist for that summer titled “MIA” for 2 reasons: 1) we never left that apartment 2) M.I.A’s “bucky done gun” was a very integral part of that summer hahaha. But yeah, it’s so so bittersweet to think about that. It’s the last time we’ll have ever lived together under one roof.

**

I think we should SERIOUSLY send these back and forth emails to someone, plus our goofy videos and make them make us famous. We should have a reality show about creating our Panamanian flower shop. ha ha. How great would that be? Plus highly entertaining. Seriously- I’m in need of that. People are so fickle. Family is forever..

**

OMG YES, a reality show about the making of our new life. Do you know how well that would work? We could start this season while we’re still apart, so it would mainly focus on the emails. And then we could start season 2 when we’re in the same country and ahhhhhhh tiny orgasm, I think viewers would LOVE US. You live in America, the land of endless possibilities- make it happen!

**

sidenote- her email above makes me laugh every singly time. Tiny orgasm HAHAHAHA...

Seriously- I’m literally laughing out loud right now. It’s a little embarrassing and I’m glad everyone is gone to lunch.

**

Sorry to disregard your last email, but I blame you for the fact that I just consumed 7 servings of peanut butter with honey since you reminded me of peanut butter, which then reminded me that I still had some in my cupboard, and BOOO, NO ALLI.

Haha anyways, seriously? Will you PLEASE look into a director? Because even if we get one season and they hate us, we’ll still get a book deal (uh, you can write it) and then a few endorsements. OH! MAYBE WE CAN BE THE NEW FACE OF ALLI. I love it.

**

Very good and valid points. Okay so I assume you’re about to go to bed. Oh- and want to know something funny? I had no idea that we sprang (sprung HAHA springed? I have no idea...) forward this weekend. dad had to tell me. Too funny. Anyway- that means we’ll be an hour closer now so that’s really great!

Alright, I’m off to file some stuff. I’ll be in constant contact with you tomorrow. Have a good night and talk to you tomorrow!

**

Wait, ugh, I have no idea how many hours apart we’ve been this whole time. I usually just say 8, wherever I am in the world. “Oh you’re in Kenya, great, only 8 hours away!” “You’re in St.Petersburg, brilliant,. 12 your time, 8 my time” ……I never usually think there’s any other time in between. Please tell me we’ve always been 8 hours apart since I moved.

**

Just so you know- I’m lying when I tell you this- yes, we are 8 hours apart. I’m such a good sister, right?

<3