"It looks like you got a good workout,” the gentleman said to me as he exited the cash advance store and I walked out of the gym.

As I felt sweat drops trickle down my back and hit the pavement I let out a little laugh, “Yeah. I guess I did… I’m glad it’s over!”

He smiled.

As I got into my car and he got into his old red truck he looked at the younger man in the passenger’s seat, maybe his son, and sighed and said, “Well, it looks like we’re okay for a few more weeks.”

And then they drove off.

I don’t know why the whole brief moment grabbed hold of my heart today. I watch the news. I know the economy is awful. I know people are hurting. I know people are losing their jobs. I know people are losing their houses. I know all that, but for some reason that man’s tired eyes and worry to provide for his family struck me hard today.

I sat in my car and let the air hit my face for a few seconds as I thought about that man- and every other person right now in the same situation- and felt humbled.

So often my mind is so centered on what’s coming for me next. The next purchase for our house, the next trip we can save up for, “things” I want. I don’t think it’s all bad to think about those things, and I’m not consumed by them, but I must admit I have the case of “the gimmes” much more than I probably should.

As I sat there in my car I was reminded of how blessed, how truly blessed Will and I are. We have what we need, and God has truly blessed us. It’s so easy to think about “more” and the newest thing and what’s bigger and better than what you have, but this morning I remembered how good I have it. How good God is to us and how thankful I am for all He has done for me.

Times are tough, and like most everyone else we’ve been affected by the economy, but as I pulled out and drove home I began counting my blessings. Thanking God for the provisions he has made for me.

I have no idea what the future holds for my small Oklahoma life, but I know that today the Lord spoke to my heart today and refocused me on the bigger picture- which can be easy to lose sight of.

Off to enjoy the day. 80% chance of rain in OKC. The game should be a BLAST tonight.

Can you sense my sarcasm?

<3

Baby steps.

I hate them.

I would much rather take big giant leaps and get to where I need to be instead of tiny methodical steps.

The truth is in some cases, baby steps are far better- and giant leaps don’t always work.

Especially when it comes to money.

Last night Will and I went back to school.

The school of Dave Ramsey.

The school of Baby Steps.

FPU (Financial Peace University).

I’m so very excited to begin this journey with Will (and cheat off of him in class- ha ha). We’re one week down with 12 more to go.

Our baby first step is to get an ample emergency fund established as.fast.as.we.can. One of those “Duh stupid- of course you need an emergency fund!” but also one of those things that can be tough to do in this day and time we’re living in. Like I’m sure many of you, so much of our future is (ha or WAS) in the stock market. We’ve each looked at what we can do to make sacrifices and are going to do to grow our emergency fund. We also came away with homework to do this week which I think will be very enlightening and beneficial.

I have a feeling some of these baby steps we go through each week might be a little tough, but I know the end result will be so worth it. I just want everything to be paid off and in its right place tomorrow!- but then we go back to the baby steps versus the giant leaps. It’s a process that doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a lot of chopping away each and every day. But why can’t it be easy?!

Ha- I guess that’s the same thing as asking why I can’t lose 15 pounds in a week!?

I’m really excited to do our homework together and meet again to see what else in in store for us. I’m up to the challenge, even if it causes a little pain.

But then again- learning how to take baby steps really never is an easy thing.

More to come… <3

A few of you have asked me how I liked Dave Ramsey’s teaching on financial freedom.

I’ve posted a link so you can see what we watched. Hopefully his thoughts and insights will speak to you heart as it has been for me and Will.

http://www.lifechurch.tv/message-archive

Dave Ramsey’s sermons should come up when you click above. This isn’t the church where Will and I attend, but we’re excited about this series and plan on attending the rest of his teachings. Sort of a strange concept right- church on TV?!

Enjoy. 

Are you guys familiar with Beth Moore?

I love her.

I stumbled across some online devotionals she used to do a couple years ago. They’re pretty good so I thought I’d share.

http://www.lproof.org/weekly_devotional.asp

Being in Kuwait shielded us from a lot of the political mire back in America. A lot of times it was nice. I can’t tell you how sick I became of the election coverage this past fall. It was nice being removed from the situation and not being inundated by media all the time.

Not only that, but there were many decisions that were made that didn’t really affect us very much since we were overseas.

Being back this year- our first full year back in America- will be quite different. Every decision made truly will have a direct impact on mine and Will’s life. It will influence a lot of our decisions and impact our future plans. It will be different, that’s for sure- but it will also be “normal.” Welcome to reality guys, right?!

Anyhow, what I guess I want to say is-

I spent the last 3 years of my life supporting a force of people I respect and am so thankful for- our American soliders. Regardless on my stance of whether or not we should be in Iraq, my stance will always be firm in the support of our soldiers. While I was a mere 30 minutes from what you may call a “war zone,” I still was not as smothered in the political war zone taking place in my home country- which seems odd. Now it’s back to reality and decisions that affect me at home and not only that- but decisions that affect my “other home.” This will most definitely be a year of change in many facets of life.

Who knows what the future has in store for us, but I pray it is full of good things and blessings we certainly don’t deserve. It will definitely be interesting to watch it all unfold. A new chapter begins in our history today, during a time of worry and stress and fear and the unknown. Some may say we’re living in a scary time, and I partially agree.

The best part of all- and the most important thing to remember,however, is that regardless of the future,

or who is in office,

or what happens tomorrow,

or what happens next week

or where we rest our head tonight,

or where we go to work tomorrow-

God is in control. He knows what is best, he knows the future, and He holds us in His hand.

May God bless our president, our country, and its people.

More to come.

<3

Today I bid Rome farewell.

I say goodbye to some of the most beautiful countries in the world and walk away with nothing more than amazing pictures and 20 days of wonderful memories.

I also bid my sister farewell.

I say goodbye to the most beautiful girl in the world and walk away with nothing more than amazing pictures and 18 years of wonderful memories.

I hate saying goodbye, and I hate change. It reminds me of the life-altering change I made just months ago- my move back to America.

Part of me wants to jump on my plane (after getting lost and losing my boarding pass 3 times, of course) and get back to my normal everyday life in the good old US of A, but the other part of me wants Will and I to pack a suitcase and just go.

Go.

To where? I have no idea, but I guess that’s what makes it so ridiculous and silly.

but also perfect.

Almost exactly a year ago my boss told me- You’re either an expat or you’re not (you should click on the link and read that post. I feel like I’ve been struggling with this topic a lot lately now that I’m home). When I read that post, I think to myself, “here you are a whole year later, Britt, and you still have no idea how you feel!” I don’t know what that means, other than the fact that I still have the itch to just get up and go.

Ha- yet 3 paragraphs above I tell you I hate change. I’m such a contradiction.

See what I mean? A year later and I still feel all knoted up about where I’m supposed to be.

Wait.

I know where I’m supposed to be.

I’m supposed to be here, no doubt in my mind. I know 100% God has moved us back here, there have been so many confirmations of his work. However, if I share my heart with you guys, the truth is that I know where I’m supposed to be, but I’m not sure if I’m where I want to be.

Does that make sense?

Don’t think I’m terrible for sharing that with you. I know it’s not your expected Sunday School Answer, but it’s really how I’ve been feeling lately. I want to be in God’s will, I really do, but lately I’ve had a hard time really desiring it. I say I want it, but then I think about all the “better” things Will and I could be doing and it’s such a distraction. I haven’t been setting my mind on things above as I need to, but instead have gotten caught up with the temporal and it’s so foolish of me.

Yes, I had to go to Rome to figure all this out.

Figure what out!?

I haven’t figured anything out!

Okay- well I had to go to Rome to realize I’m still a basketcase.

How’s that?

A little more accurate.

Okay, so enough of the sad whiney conflicted crap.

Who wants to hear all that- AGAIN, right?

Sheesh, the story of my freaking life!?

Alright- let’s move on.

So I bid Rome farewell.  Perhaps I will no longer associate Rome with stress now that I’ve made it to the airport and am on the plane?

I hope so.

I’m sure as we drove the long drive to the airport I held back the tears, and as they unloaded our luggage, the lump in my throat arrived.

I’m sure I tried to be the big sister and not snot all over myself as I told P goodbye,

but let’s face it, I was never meant to be good with such things.

In fact, I’m a week out from the cruise and crying as a type!

What a loser.

Anyway, I’m sure I squeezed her tight and got one last smell of her perfume.

I’m sure my heart was throbbing just like the night when I was in college and broke up with my first love. I’m sure as she went left, and I went right, I tried my best to keep it together,

but as I made a mad dash to the bathroom, I lost it-

as well as my carry-on, I can almost be sure.

I hate goodbyes terribly, but this one would seem so final in so many ways.

So as this cruise has docked, so has another chapter in my life. One that has P in an exciting foreign country attending college, and one that has me washing clothes down by the river in some tiny remote American town. (ha ha)

I finally give up fighting the tears and figure I might as well just let it all out-

and once again I wish Will was here to make me feel better, but sadly I’m all alone (and probably lost) in the Rome airport trying to understand what the hell 743 is in Italian.

As I get on the plane, knowing P is about to board hers, I wish her well in my heart, knowing that kindred spirits are never very far apart.

I think about Boz and Lucy, and the 2 new little puppies that await me when I get home. I think about Will and falling asleep in his arms,

and I realize it’s okay to say goodbye to Rome today.

Perhaps I’ll visit again..

Yeah that whole picture update thing little miss P promised earlier this week?

She was off her rocker.

The truth is that I’m back- but not with pictures.

Yes, finally back.

It’s funny to me how I can keep in contact with you guys so much better across an ocean. Here I am in your backyard and can’t even log in to say, “Hey! I’m alive!

This is the first time i’ve been on the computer since the last time.

(ha ha)

Which was the last time I posted… whenever that was. I literally didn’t check my email for like 4 weeks.

It was amazingly liberating

and stressful.

In fact, I even dreamed about it-

not checking my email.

Crazy right?

Things have just been a whilwind lately.

I’m still adjusting to life back home, getting used to some of the things I wasn’t accustomed to for the past 3 years (ahem- cleaning my own house and pumping my own gas- ahem- SPOILED).

I bid my sister farewell this morning and it really hurt. Thankfully i’ll be seeing her soon (remember! We’re taking an extremely long and amazing cruise- YAY!). However, saying goodbye was still hard because it’s a reminder of the fact that i’ll have to say goodbye again soon and that time it will be for a long time.

Ugh.

Let’s not be a downer, right?

Having here was amazing.

A-Freaking-Mazing.

We had so much fun. Granted I had to work each day, and granted we didn’t do anything super outrageous or fun, but just having her here was so nice.

So that was my big news.

Oh and by the way- thanks so much for welcoming her to the blog world! I tell her all the time she should blog. She’s such a good writer. Ha ha apparently I am too because some of you thought I was posing as dear old P. ha ha. It was her- it really was. I felt so bad for my slackerness that I told her to guest blog. She needs a regular spot as far as I’m concerned.

Hmm.. Tuesdays with P?

It has a ring to it.

Oh- and she has her license- which TOTALLY deserves a blog post! C’mon P- at least guest blog on mine so you can tell the license story. Pretty please?

I won’t tell you guys anything just in case she decides to share…

Alright moving along (at least until I can convince Miss P to blog anyway)

We’re becoming a petting zoo here at the B-Love house.

We’re buying 2 more dogs.

Yes- come bring your kids, they can feed the animals at the freaking zoo!!

These dogs, unlike boz and lucy, will be exclusively outside doggies.

So I guess it’s not total petting zooish, right?

I’m excited- mostly excited for Will because as long as I’ve known him he’s wanted 2 big dogs and now that we have a house and a yard we can finally do it.

Rocky and Teddy.

Those names don’t mean much unless you’re an OU fan.

We officially have all 3 Butkus Award Winners in our house- Boz (Brian Bosworth), Rocky (Rocky Calmus), and Teddy (Teddy Lehman)

Yeah- my husband is obsessed.

Ya think?

Hey- marriage is a compromise and I figured this one wasn’t worth fighting.

We’re getting a male Rott and a female lab. Will found these amazing red labs, they’re so unique. I guess that’s originally how they looked in England before they came to America. Sadly, I think I’ll be on my trip when it’s time to get both of them. :( I wanted to be there to pick them out, but I guess I’ll have something nice waiting for me.

Hmm- is that all the “big news” I have to share? I think so.

Okay, so now that I’m a little more settled I’ve been thinking.

Can we just start fresh?

I mean, there is absolutely no way I can get out of blog commenting debt- no way at all. I would totally need to take out a blog commenting loan in which I would hire people to pose as me and write nice little comments on your blog- and I don’t want to do that because I like you and don’t want our friendship to be based on blog commenting lies! Right!?!

Exactly.

So here’s what I’m thinking. I’m thinking of starting clean.

A blog salvation if you will (ha ha).

In which my debts are cleared and I can start commenting from X point on (like soon).

Deal?

Deal (at least… that’s what I envision you guys saying because I envision you guys as niceys and not comment whores. Right? Right??… hmm...).

So here’s the deal- I’m going to turn comments back on in September.

AGH! September- YES! I will be MIA for a little while longer, but still posting more often than before.

See- I’ll be on the cruise.

I told you guys it was long, didn’t I?

I wasn’t lying.

Um.. but I’ll throw in house pictures soon??

Ha- yeah because THAT makes it all better, right?

Hello! My name is Britthy and I’m a super sucky friend.

I totally deserve a t-shirt.

Wait- don’t do that.

But seriously? I’m wearing a big imaginary one right now.

As for things in my life…

They’re going good.

Goodish.

I won’t lie. I miss the way things were, but I think that’s all apart of being a grown up and adjusting to change. Perhaps we’ll talk about that in another post- one that’s not so full of randomness.

Things with the house are slowly coming together and I’m continually wishing the tiny bush out back were instead a money tree in which I could go out and pick big bills off it’s branches to buy all the pretty things for my house.

Oh magic beans.

I’d be fine with those too.

We’re starting to look for churches which is… fun?

Painful?

Stressful?

Full of blessings?

I guess all of the above applies. I just want to find one already!

?

Jumping from magic beans to churches. Should I have seperated my post with little stars to warn you of big random topic changes?

Probably.

Oh well… it’s just good for me to finally get back to doing something I love.

I hope you all had a nice weekend.

Back to work tomorrow.

That’s one thing I’ve noticed about being back in America. The weekends seem to go a lot faster! I guess because they’re full of busyness.

Anyhow, I’m back and hope to be blogging a little more regularly prior to my departure on the big sea!

thanks again for welcoming P, it made me feel really loved.

<3 and another normal week begins…

Hi! It’s P. P the sister of B (rittny). Yes, it’s really me! I know you’ve been anticipating “meeting” me since Britt first posted about our marshmallow escapades two summers ago at about this time. Well, fast-forward a few summers, a couple of continents, and about four thousand 1 oz. servings of marshmallows later and, ta-da! It seems we’re kind of back where we started. Except for I’m a new high school graduate turned gypsy who has undoubtedly found myself living, observing, and worrying about my sister’s new home…and life in America.

No no, silly girls, it’s not like that. There haven’t been any threats on my beautiful B (to quote Jay-Z) and I haven’t given her a curfew or anything like that. It’s just, watching her adjust to life back here in America is kind of frightening. But oh so exhilarating too! There are hundreds of things she can do now! She’s able to buy pork (ew) in public! There’s no need for shifty expressions while hiding a whole honey-cured ham under a jacket anymore. (Even though I don’t recall anytime when she did really this. Actually, I’d probably be too embarrassed to even claim her as my sister if she did do this). She can also walk around the supermarket in a pair of 10-year-old Abercrombie cut-offs and an XXS Limited cami if she wants! (Even though I don’t recall anytime when she really did this. Actually, I’d probably be too embarrassed to even claim her as my sister if she did do this.)

All joking and my ADHD aside, I kind of really loved having my sister in Kuwait. Yes, I know that’s incredibly selfish since her hyperhidrosis (um, Britt, am I allowed to mention this to your friends?) kicked in .43 seconds after she would step outside everyday and because the people she worked with were incredibly classless and because on occasion, she got flicked off while trying to go out for a nice meal with her cute little sister. But I can’t help wanting to secretly book her a flight back to Kuwait every Monday as I look at PostSecret and read all of the creepy weird things that American “crazies” do. Like the guy on this week’s page who likes to “Eat the last page of a really good book”. Seriously mister psycho librarian man (PLM)? Please tell me Mr. PLM that you do not live in the Oklahoma City Metro area? Pretty please? Because if you do, that’s one more reason for me to put B on a curfew.

Every time I read PostSecret it seems to scream at me “Don’t live in America! Don’t let Brittny live in America! These people, they’re mad!” Not all of you of course, I mean, I’m a proud navy blue passport-carrying person myself. And isn’t it sad how a few people who send secrets to Germantown, Maryland almost sent me boycotting my sister’s return to America? But since my picketing skills are ridiculously lame, I was forced to let her board her plane and set up camp in the heartland. She’s happy-Ulta and Taco Bueno are mere minutes from her home, the boy is happy-OU football season is just around the corner and Boz and Lucy, um, they’re freaking loving the grass. The backyard kind.

So maybe I’m the overprotective, paranoid one worrying about her. She’s probably totally over the fact that Mr. PLM may be standing behind her at Barnes & Noble. And yes, she’s completely distraught over the fact that she has to clean her own house now and the fact that familial drop-ins will be come a norm but for the most part (not completely!), she’s happy that her 40 days in the desert are terminé. I guess if you love someone you have to let them go.

I must go recover from hyperventilating over the fact that I just used the most awful cliché in my first guest-post. Please forgive me. Everyone. Even you, the PostSecret sender or you, the PostSecret lurker, yes, even you.

xo,
P

(And for those of you who are racking your brains to think of what my name is, I’ll give you a hint…it’s not Penny. Or Peggy. Or Penelope. It actually, gasp!, starts with a C.)

My Last Full Day in Kuwait

We got up relatively early yesterday.

I showered, got ready, ate toast with P, and hung around my parent’s house. Around 9:45 my mom dropped me and P off at The Avenues so we could spend some gift cards. Our mission was to find me work clothes and P a gold bracelet to wear to prom.

H&M was the first stop where I attempted to do damage- only I couldn’t find much. I found one dress for 5 KD, but when I tried to pay for it with my 10 KD gift card they totally freaked out. Apparently you can’t just use part of a gift card in this country- it’s all or nothing. I bantered back and forth, got mad, and left. Repeat the above incident with the next 2 stores and my frustration level was through the roof. We did some more browsing and I began to get discouraged. I couldn’t find anything.

We finally stopped in Debenham’s and I found so many beautiful outfits. I found a dress, a top, a swimsuit, and a ring for 50 KD (the exact amount of my gift cards). I went to pay, expecting no trouble this time, only to have the assistant manager come to me and ask where I got these gift cards. I told him I got them as a gift. He excused himself for a moment and then came back to tell me I couldn’t use the cards because there was no issuing store written on the back. Apparently it made it look like I had stolen the gift cards.

At this point I was livid. “I can’t use these gift cards because someone wasn’t efficient at their job? I might as well have lit 50 KD on fire!”

“Come back tomorrow madam and we will try to track down where this code was issued.”

“I’m flying out tomorrow.”

“No- just come back tomorrow, no worries.”

“I’m flying OUT tomorrow. I’m not coming back.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah- so am I!”

P and I took off- and I was extremely pissed from that point on. Oh the fun of living in Kuwait. Nothing is ever easy.

We decided it was time for lunch after the whole gift card fiasco. P decided it was time to expand my tastes, so it was Indian food at Asha’s. I wasn’t ready for curry, so I stuck with something fairly simple and really liked it. Don’t ask me what it was, though. Something with cottage cheese and mustard and vegetables- all with a fancy Hindi title of course. We talked about college, and what my life will be like at home. We talked about travel and food, and all the reasons I shouldn’t move to America.

After Asha’s we did some more browsing, stopped at a pharmacy, and headed home. We didn’t do too much after that. Will and my dad came home from our apartment with the last of the stuff we planned to ship. We just lounged around the house for a few hours and looked for houses Will and I could buy back home. After while, my mom decided to take me back to the mall so I could get the clothes I had tried to buy earlier. She paid, and assured me she would get the whole gift card thing settled once I left. I told her to use them to buy herself something nice, since she had just purchased clothes for me. I hope she does.

By then it was time for dinner. We decided to do Casper and Gambini’s one last time for good measure. I’m glad we did.

Streams of Consciousness

After dinner, we just sat around the house. P and I looked at stuff online- I think she was trying to cheer me up. My disposition began to decline as the evening continued. My heart began to feel heavy, and after 3 weeks of rushing and stressing and worrying, it finally began to sink in that this was my last night in Kuwait. That my time was done and I was going to have to go back to a place that, in all honesty, I don’t want to go. P tried so hard to be positive and tell me all the great and wonderful things I had to look forward to, yet none of them seemed to make me stop hurting.

P seems to be the only person that gets that. Everyone else thinks I’m crazy for feeling the way I do- I mean- why wouldn’t I want to go back home? As P and I discussed last night, it’s because I have two “homes” now. So many people don’t understand that.

I dread the thought of returning to a place where minds are so closed. Where life doesn’t exist anywhere else outside of people’s tiny fenced in houses. Where people don’t have entirely different lives across an ocean that seems to grow smaller as each year passes. The truth is that there is this huge sky out there that envelops this whole big world that goes on when we’re sleeping or working or eating. Far bigger than those backyard fences.

I know I’m being totally stereotypical. I realize so many people value and realize life outside of their own egocentric happenings. The trouble is that where I’m going, life is so small. Minds are so closed. I’m so different than I was 3 years ago, so much better, and I dread returning to a place and it being just like it was when I left it. Will likes that. I guess that’s what makes it “home.” He’s so lucky, and since I’m being honest with you guys, I envy his excitement. Why can’t I just be happy and excited about this change?

One reason is that I don’t handle change well. At all. Life here is what I know now. It’s normal and comfortable. I’m scared to move home. The other reason is that this all happened so fast. We were supposed to have a “transition out plan” where I could prepare myself to leave. Where I could get myself ready for all these things I’m feeling right now. Also- moving wasn’t supposed to be hard! I always knew there would be an end date to our time here, but it seemed so far away, and I always imagined it being an easy tie to cut. Another thing is that I’ve been around my family my entire life. They’ve always been near, and now they’re a once a year trip away. I know people live their lives like this all the time, but again, I always imagined them being close. The thought of them being so far away brings tears to my eyes.

If I told you I was ready to start this new chapter in my life, I’d be lying. I’m ready because I know, without a doubt, it’s God’s will for us to return to the states. However, although I know that in my soul, the rest of me seems to be in argument. Obedience isn’t always easy, right? Why couldn’t I have an easy lesson!? This has been the biggest test and move of faith in my entire life, and certainly the most painful thus far. I just want things to be like they were before. They didn’t hurt then.

My heart seems so full of emotions but for some reason I can’t verbalize how I feel. So- I won’t continue to try. I just wanted to write so (hopefully) 3 more years from now I’ll look back, laugh at myself, and say, “Oh Brittny, if you only knew how life was going to turn out!”

I hope that’s what happens.

So I bid this amazing adventurous chapter in my life farewell and trade it in for the slow lane. There are so many things I won’t miss about Kuwait, but far more that I will. This place has made me a much better person, and I’m so thankful for my time here. I don’t know what lies ahead, but I know I’ll be okay. I just wish it didn’t hurt to walk away.

<3

See you in America…

Not!

If you ever want to test your sanity- move. That’s seriously all you need to do.

Will? He’s officially crazy.

Me? Well… we always knew I was a little unstable.

Moving has taken my marriage to a whole new level of…er… closeness.

“Will! Why are you shipping 100 pounds of clothes you’re NEVER going to wear again!? These things literally stayed in boxes for our entire 3 years here!”

“Because. I’m going to lose weight when I go home.”

“That’s what you said in 2005 when we moved over here.”

**

“Brittny- are you even trying to pack correctly and conserve space?”

“Of course I am! In fact- I think I’m doing a pretty good job!”

Sigh, “Brittny- move out of the way. Let a professional do it.”

“Pft- ‘Professional.’ Oh. Apparently I’m a moron and just drool on myself and am incapable of helping!?”

Yeah. That’s been the lovely conversations between the B-Love family this past week. I’ve crammed, stuffed, and folded more items that I care to mention- and then Will has gone behind me and crammed, stuffed, and folded the exact same items again. Oddly enough- this move has definitely brought us closer. I know it’s hard to believe when you see the banter above!

Oh guys, this week has been hell. We originally planned to have movers come and pack everything up for us because we were on such a short schedule. Well, the former Emir of Kuwait died last week and the whole thing put Kuwait business on hold for 3 days. So- we weren’t able to get a quote until Saturday.

$6,000.

$6,000 to move everything from here to the States! We just stared at each other in shock. So- Saturday night we had a whole different change of plans- aside from a few big pieces we would do our own shipping through the Army post office.

Yes- 3 years worth of stuff being shipped in footlockers. Plus Will can’t access camp anymore so it’s me and my dad lugging 15 footlockers to the army post office everyday this week. And the high is like 115. Yeah- that’s been fun. I mentioned that moving tests your mental strength, right?

The worst part of all is that the next 2 weeks of my life will be worse- far worse. I’m seriously just praying God will make provisions. He’s orchestrated this whole thing so beautifully. Guys, it’s been insane how things have worked out. It’s been perfect, which is yet another confirmation we’re supposed to go. I just have to continue to trust that these next 2 weeks will work out just like these 2 have.

Tomorrow is my last day of work, but it’s all full of out processing, so today is really my last actual work day. Guys, when I thought about this whole “moving thing” in my head it went so differently than reality. I guess that’s how life works. In my mind we had a plan. We had time to pack, and make arrangements, and go to “our place” just one last time. We had time to enjoy the “lasts” of everything. I wanted time to post my thoughts, to write about what I was doing and how I was feeling. However, in reality everything is moving so quickly that I haven’t had time to realize, “Brittny- this is it. Your time in the middle east is over.” I guess if I’m honest with you guys, I’m sort of glad I haven’t had time to let the truth sink in. The truth, when if finally hits me, is going to be painful. Just typing about it makes my heart start to hurt. I haven’t had time to miss anything, and I think that’s good. Maybe that’s another one of those God orchestrations. He knows my exit needs to be like a band-aid being ripped off skin. He’s right. Having time to dwell would only make me sad and I certainly don’t need that! Staying busy has been a good thing. 

I have so many things I want to share with you guys. There is just so much going on with my life right now! I really hope to post one last time before we leave, so hopefully I’ll be able to do that. We’re staying with my parents this weekend so I’m going to try to get on a computer while I’m there. I’ll be home in just a few days and I still can’t fathom it all. I guess it’s because I’m up to my eyes in footlockers and SO MUCH FREAKING CRAP that needs to be packed. Seriously- I can’t believe all the stuff we have.

Also- I’m really sorry I haven’t been commenting lately. You guys have been such great and supportive friends and I haven’t really reciprocated that this week, and I apologize. I must also admit, I doubt I’ll comment for the next few weeks either. Know you’re in my thoughts and prayers. I think about you often and I look forward to catching up stateside. More to come from Kuwait…