Do you ever think in some ways college has made you stupider?

I mean, you spend all this time focusing on one main area. It’s like your brain totally forgets basic things everyone should know. Give me a map of the world and ask me basic geography questions like where mountain ranges in Asia are or whatever else, and you would laugh in my face. My sister had algebra homework last night. Basic Algebra 2, and as I glanced at it I thought, “Are these REALLY things I will HAVE to know in life? I hope not.“ The last time I attempted math was my freshman year in college algebra. I got my first and only C in my life and was done with math forever. That stupid class is the reason I wasn’t magna cum laude and just cum laude… stupid class… I’m not bitter though…

Case in point- college made me stupider. All I came out knowing dealt with interpersonal communication or the UN.

No math. No gravity. No XY=USHEUS squared.

You think I’m crazy don’t you??

Okay, so maybe I’m alone on this one, but last night Will and I had a moment when all I could think was, “Wow. If we ever decide to have kids, they have a chance of really being on the dumb side.”

Okay, so we’re really not “dumb” (I caught you smirking!), but I do wonder how we could be “smart” for our lives and then not be able to do basic things…

Will got Madden a couple of weeks ago. I think this game’s demographic is like from 12-30- I have absolutlely NO clue- but I know it attracts both young and “old.” Anyway, one of the features is getting to create your own player, sign him to a team, and make him this all-star.

To do this you have to do fun stuff like create what he looks like and pick his parents and stuff. Well, before you can get drafted into the NFL, your player has to take a 2 minute, 20 question I.Q. Test of “real” questions.

“Yes! Our guy is going to be a genius on and off the field! Everyone is going to want to draft him!”

We start the simple I.Q. test. It didn’t help that we were both trying to take the test, and as Will was reading I was shouting the answer before he could even finish the question. We take the full 2 minutes to answer…

and we get a 60%!!!!

Wow. That is a D. We got a D on those stupid, “If Sara is X times the age of her brother, and her brother is X times the age of their aunt’s second cousin’s estranged mother in jail, then how old is Sara?” Something like that. SEE! I can’t even MAKEUP the stupid question! How am I going to answer it!?

Anyway, we totally died laughing. Our “agent” left a message on our phone saying, “Your I.Q. test was less than desired, Idon’t know how the draft will go.”

Wow. College grads flunking a video game IQ test while 12 year olds are acing it. Hmmm…

We deleted “Whittny L” (we tried our best to combine our names, I goofily suggested Willttny, but Will just thought I was a dork) and started over.

We had to take our test again. It had different questions, but I refrained from yelling and answered politely and after Will had read the whole thing.

And we got an 80%. A B.

Wow.

Did we not learn anything in school?

It really humbles you when you fail a mindnumbing, brainsucking, “We don’t want you to be smart, we want you to sit here and play video games all day” I.Q. test on Madden, a game devoted to “dumb jocks.”

The game should say, “Madden: rated G for Genius’ only.

Have a good day back to the grindstone.

Timing is everything.

I’ve heard this addage so many millions of times, but it really is true. I’m sure at one time or another we can say we are living proof of how timing is everything. From the moment we realized we wanted to spend forever with our husbands, to deciding it’s the perfect time to add another addition… for most people kids… for me a dog (at least now. Maybe in 27 years I will change my mind).

On a serious note I feel like I am having a never ending “timing is everything” moment in my life here in Kuwait. I know I have to wait on the Lord- His timing and not mine- because timing really is everything. I’ve messed up so many things by doing things at the wrong time.

My life is a big ball of wrong timing moments! Not ones that are bad really- just make for funny stories (though not so funny at the time) and embarrassing moments. Anyway, today the whole concept of timing is everything and playing the “what if” game gave my sister and I good laugh.

About 81% of our day is complaining about how fat we are. Okay- we are not fat, but this is the subject of the whole day for us. I think the reason we let the whole fat issue consume us is due to the fact that we are so lethargic. We are cooped up, sitting in the apartment all day and it is hard to feel like you’ve accomplished a lot of great things, even when we do go to the gym.

Anyway, that is the basis of today’s timing is everything story.

We talk about “fat” constantly (it probably doesn’t help that we make poor eating choices), it’s really annoying I’m sure. The new thing I’ve brought to the table is the idea that exercising in absolutely nothing but a sports bra would make you work harder to target those not so attractive areas- for me that means my butt, hips, and love handles. If only that could be possible. We joke a lot about how funny that would be… okay talk about intimate self disclosure with you guys… you thought I was crazy before, now you probably think I’m insane!!!!

Well, it gets better. You might just want to go back to the main page and read tomorrow’s post if you are thinking I’m crazy at this point because it only gets worse!

Today we were in nothing but little t-shirts looking at ourselves up close in the mirror and talking about all the things we need to work on at the gym. This was about a 15 minute conversation.

“Do you think I have a pear shaped body?”

“Look at how huge my hips are compared to yours!”

“Stand in front to me and see how far my hips protrude.”

Yes, I know. I am a dork. My 15 year old sister is going to be thinner than me. Deal with it Brittny.

Anyway, we decided to put our panties on to get ready to go to the gym (being that we had just had pizza for lunch… and I wonder why I feel chubby all the time...) and all of a sudden the doorbell rings! We freaked out.

We absolutely will not answer the door here when we are by ourselves because there should be no reason someone would be at our door and if there is, it is most likely a man. I was near the door, so I looked out our peephole and not only was it a man.. but there were 4 of them! I freaked out. I signaled to my sister to be quiet, put shorts on, and go to the kitchen, which is the farthest room of the house. We go there and close the door and all of a sudden the door opens!!!! These 4 men were in our apartment!!! I was hypervenhilating. I had shorts in the dryer (thank the Lord!) and threw them on and got myself together.

I knew I should have taken that stupid self defense class.

Do I get a knife?

Do I call Will?

My sister had my dad on the phone. The housing crew was supposed to come tomorrow and fix our AC, but NOT today! He thought that was who it might be.

MIGHT BE!? Great- so it COULD be normal working people doing their job, but it also MIGHT BE some crazy group of extremists!

I go out there a little flustered and the housing guy, the only American, shakes my hand and apologizes for the mix-up. The complex wrote the wrong day on the paper that was given to us, today was the day they were going to come… yeah, evidently!! I let them do their thing and my sister and I just stayed in the back room talking about, “what if he would have opened the door 5 minutes earlier!” He had the key- he could have just waltzed in! What a surprise that would have been. I can’t even BEGIN to think about the way I would have introduced myself to this guy that works at the same company as I will be working.

Yeah. That would have been realllll hot.

You think I would have learned the first time. This actually has happened to me before! Yes, this could only happen to me twice. You’ll have to look in March’s archives for that whole barge in on Brittny time number one. I guess old habits die hard.

Timing is everything.

Thank goodness today we were running early.

** ** **

A more tame subject you want? Okay. That’s fair.

My sweet Will won’t be home for a while tonight. His hair is super long and needs a cut. Every now and then I would go with him to his stylist back home, but women are stricly forbidden from a male’s “saloon” (isn’t that a funny name? I guess since alcohol is outlawed, that is the closest thing to a “bar” they have to get away and complain about stuff without women being around). Anyway, last time he went the guy attacked his face. Will was freaking out- it turned out to be a facial, but at first Will said he thought they guy was trying to break his nose. What a goof. I guess he must have liked it because he’s getting one again- and he used to say that was girl stuff. How funny.

I think I should just walk away from the computer now. I’ve done some real soul baring today .

This morning my sweet husband- having not put his contacts in- went to the bathroom-and failed to lift the lid- and peed all over the seat. I unknowingly hopped out of bed and headed straight to the toliet. Oh what I surprise I got this morning as I sat down. How lovely, Will.

Yesterday can be equivilated to a a “sitting on a toilet seat with pee everywhere” sort of day. Okay, it wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t overly wonderful either. If I sound overly negative, I apologize because it wasn’t terrible or anything, just different.

We all rolled to the airport around 2 yesterday afternoon and of course had to park in the long-term area since my parents would be gone all weekend. You’d think after living in the hottest place on earth, the architects would have made it a little more bearable to walk the 8 minute trek from the parking area to the airport by making some of it indoors, but they didn’t see this as a priority.

I had tried to look cute for Will (since the first time I would see him all day would be when I got into Kuwait for the night), but I was all wilted before I even got to the airport.

We got in line to check in. That was fun. For some weird reason you are not issued seats until you check in, so we had to wait for 15 minutes while they tried to find seats for us together. I think my dad told the guy about 4 times, “We don’t all have to sit together.” The guy ignored him 4 times. He told us one of us was going to have to fly stand-by because they couldn’t get us together.

“Maybe my dad wasn’t speaking English the first 4 times! We DON’T have to sit together!” (This is that I was thinking, and NEVER in a million years would have vocalized, though it might have been funny- but probably not).

So, after that shananagan we all had to get our visas stamped. I, of course, had to have the difficult one since it was expired. I was trying to hear what the Kuwaiti army guy was trying to tell me, but all I heard was my goofy sister whispering, “He is SO hot” in my ear, so I didn’t hear all the important information that I needed. All I heard was that I needed to go to imigration.

We started aimlessly wandering around and the guy was like, “No! No! Over there,” as he pointed to aimless space. Then laughter errupts from him and all his friends and the 87 other Arabs waiting in line.

“Yes. Hi. Hello. Mmhmm. It’s us. The stupid Americans living in your country, and yes, we have no idea where we are going.” So much for trying to lay low and keep a low profile.

At this point I wanted to pull a Carla Tate from The Other Sister and make a scene and yell, “Stop laughing at me!” in front of everyone, but I exercised self-control for the sake of us all. It might have been funny, but probably not.

So, after that we went to immigration and got everything ready to go and headed to our gate. I should probably tell you upfront now that all I did yetsrday was eat. Eat and eat- and had absolutely NOTHING (I’m not joking) of nutritonal value yesterday. After my cherry chip cake with rainbow frosting for breakfast and my sour Jujy fruits in the afternoon, I polished off a happy meal for lunch. (I don’t think it would be bugging me near as much if I would have went to the gym more this week, but I didn’t go like I should have.. that’s another post though!)

Anyway, so then since we had time on our hands guess what we did!? Ate. My sister and I got shakes from Sweeney’s. It wasn’t like we were hungry, we just did it. That part of the story gets better. After that depressing fun, we sat down and waited to get on the plane. It is a free for all here. They just come out and say, “Okay, you can get on now.”

There is no calling by row number.

Ladies first? heh. Right. you would have thought we were in the middle of the Running of the Bulls and they were headed our way or something. Everyone shot up and ran to the door and pushed and shoved. Did they not get their seat number at check in or something?

I think the goal of the Kuwait Airport is to make you want to get out of there as fast as possible. Between the “desert walk” to the airport and next event, they accomplished their goal easily (and then some) with Brittny.

We headed down the terminal thing and as I thought we were apporaching the plane, it only got hotter. We made a turn and were greeted with the outside. Outside? What? We have to go outside! I’m sweating like I just ran a marathon and you want me to go outside again…

We hopped on these nasty, unairconditioned busses along with a large number of others. The smell? I don’t think I need to tell you it burned our nostrils.

We got to the plane and got one. “finally, some AC,” I whispered to myself. I really thought I was really going to lose it as I got on the plane. It was so hot and stuffy. I know this Is Kuwait Air, but believe, me I’ve already had the “Kuwait experience” these 3 months, you don’t have to remind me of how miserably hot it is in your country.

It was hot and smelled just as bad as the bus. I don’t know what the theme the airline was going for was. Depressing maybe? I don’t know.

All I know is that they were playing the creepiest music ever. Didn’t they do testing groups to see how people responded to certain things? Did they not test the music selection? I don’t know if the speakers were shot of if that was really how the music was supposed to sound, but it was creepy. It sounded like it came from an old 50s horror movie. A string orchestra playing all muted and strange things. My sister just sort looked at eachother and had a conversaion with our eyes. I really can’t do the music story justice, because you had to be there, but trust me, it was weird and eerie.

Well, what the lacked in ambviance they made up for in food. Go figure I would be the one to say that. Just give me chocolate and I forget about everything else.

Kudos to Kuwait Air- they serve REAL snacks on their flight and you don’t have to freakin’ pay for them like in the States. It wasn’t a snack. It was a small meal, and of course I had to try it. It was a pita, one half stuffed with feta and the other half stuffed with tuna salad. They were really good. They finished it off with a mini Bounty chocolate bar. I forgot about all the bad attributes of the flight and simply thought, “They gave us a meal for a snack. You rock.”

I’m such a sucker.

The flight was only 45 minutes, so that was good too- that way I didn’t have time to change my favorable opinion of this yucky airline.

We landed and were greeted with another bus and a person that simply said, “Welcome to Qatar, where it is hot as hell and humid as a rainforest.” (okay- so I threw in the weather analogy myself). The windows on the bus waiting for us were raining condensation. It was so humid, even worse than Kuwait has been lately. (kuwait still beats the world in miserable heat I think)

We got to the airport and I got a sinking feeling in my stomach as I saw the layout. I was positive I was going to have to go through the gate alone and without my family. Lucky for me I, the flight was leaving about 45 minutes from the time we got to Qatar, so I didn’t feel so nervous. I said my goodbyes and thought I was going to throw up all over myself because I was so nervous.

I went through and checked in and got my seat assignement with no problem. I asked for directions of where I was going next and went straight there. I gave the guy my ticket and he was like, “I’m going to keep this for now, you just sit down.” I was freaking out. I was the only one he did that to. I don’t know if he was just being a jerk and giving me a hard time because I was a Westerner and by myself, or what, but everyone else got their ticket torn and given back to them.

A small group gathered and started taling about me. This man (who worked for the airlines) came over to me and asked to see my passport. My stomach was in knots. It’s not the greatest thing to flash around an American passport. You pretty much only show it when you absolutely have to. So, I didn’t really know what to do. I wanted my stupid ticket back, so I showed it to him and in a loud voice he tells his colleagues at the front desk, “she’s American!” Great. Do you want a P.A. for that!?

About 5 minutes later I got my ticket and calmed down from the small panic attack I was suffering. Everyone pushed their way to the bus and were blasted with the sea of humidity. I was in Qatar for maybe 35 minutes. That wasn’t too bad. I did it! Wow!

I got on the exact same plane I had gotten off of a few minutes earlier and sat two rows back- but this time I had a window seat. About 10 minutes in they begin shoving food at me again. Do you think I took it? Do you really have to wander? This time it was two little tea sandwiches. One was cucumber and cheese and the other was bologna. I had the cucumber one and then sweetly tucked away my mini mars bar away for Will. I tried to freshen up in the plane so I would look nice for Will. What I really needed was a perfumery to douce their creations on me. I was put through a lot of interesting smells yesterday.

As we were flying into Kuwait and I could see the fire burning off the top of their oil well things (I don’t really know what they’re called, but it is a good fire) in the dark of the night I was actually happy. Okay, so we are coming here for a goal and Kuwait isn’t our home, but I was so glad to be back. I guess the main reason was because I knew Will was waiting for me.

We landed and finally didn’t have to be bused! I found the visa desk and took a number. I waited a few minutes and had the army guy get everything ready for “Brittny Spears.”

Ha Ha, so funny- just give me my flippin’ visa.

I got it with no troubles. I breathed a sigh of relief. Now was the time for a little apprehension! It was time for the “gauntlet” as it has been dubbed by many Westerners.

You are in one area of the airport, it is fairly quiet and not too overwhelming, but then you go through these glass doors and if you are not ready you are getting the shock of your life! (I’m glad my mom and sister came to Kuwait before we did so they could warn us when we first came!) The gauntlet is this long aisle walkway, and the sides are roped off. So, those arriving walk out of the glass doors and are met with hundreds of yelling Arabs, trying to find those who are coming in to meet them.

It is straight chaos.

They are yelling and waving hands, taking pictures of girls that come out and everything in between. It is a mess. I walked through the “gauntlet” and fought my way past the crowd in the back and called Will. He was smart, he stayed on the second level so he could have a clear view and could find me.

He came downstairs and we were out of there! We stopped by Hardees and Baskin Robbins (he hadn’t eaten and I figured we’d get some icre cream for the weekend alone).

I was hoping for a romantic evening since we were alone for the first time in ages, but I had a splitting headache (from freaking out all day) and we were both exhausted. We crashed as soon as we got home.

So, that was my day. It wasn’t too bad, and it was definitely eye-opening. I was impressed with how well I handeled the stress of doing everything alone here.

I was sad today because Will and I woke up at 11:30- so there went half our day. I don’t think we are going to do anything exciting, which is sort of disappointing. There is so much I want to see here. I really want to get better aquainted with my surroundings, but I think we agree it’s too darn not for that now. Come October or November it will be more bearable and we’ll get out and do more things. At least we will be together and have the freedom to do what we want. I can’t wait to get our own place soon! how much fun!

Thanks for sticking through this extra long edition of my crazy life’s post.

I hope you are having a great thursday.

As always, more to come… <3

Does any woman actually like to sweat?

I haven’t found one yet. The old addage, “Horses sweat, men perspire, and ladies glow” crap is such a farce. I don’t glow. I certainly don’t “perspire.” I am a “sweater,” and believe me, although its not a great thing to be- I could be worse!

My sister makes me ill. We go to the gym and her pretty face gets all flushed and red, but very rarely does she sweat. My dad had the same problem when he was younger- it just wouldn’t happen! Meanwhile, I am wiping the huge drips off of my face and I just walk to the car! I wouldn’t be surprised if a doctor ever approached me as I’m sweating everywhere and said, “Ma’am, I think you may be suffering from hyperhydrosis.” That sure wouldn’t be the shock of the year. Thank God for Certain Dri.

Anyway, it is miserable here and I hear it is only going to get worse. Will’s car temp reader thing has consistenly said 50 degrees celsius for the last week For those of you who are like me and celsius means absolutely nothing, that means it is 122 F! Even the nationals call this place the oven.

The last few days have been by far the worst and I’m told it will continue until September. The humidity has been rampant! I walked outside yesterday and I felt like I had gone swimming!

There was like this muggy haze outside and out windows were full of condensation and Will’s sungalsses were fogging up. It was gross. I had to go to the bakery and was totally embarrassed because I was sweating profusely as soon as I walked outside! I felt like I had just jumped in a pool with all of my clothes on and ran around for an hour and decided now that I was all hot and gross that I would go buy bread! It was terrible. My hair was matted to my face… 5minutes ladies! And I had that disgusting upper lip sweat that really makes me want to throw up when I see it on other people. It was terrible.

For fun I just opened the window and stuck my glasses outside and at 8:00 at night they still got foggy and the windows got all wet. It geels like this huge earth sized dog is just breathing all over your face. I will take my dry heat any day over this misery. At least you have a good 5 minutes before you start sweating when theres 0 humidity! It just smells humid out. Mmmm

This will make you chuckle a little- or at least I found it a little humerous. Kuwaiti law states that if the temperature reaches 50 all outside work must cease. Well, these people realize that time is money so they will never ever report when the temperature reaches 50 or above. It could be 55 and it will still be 49 “officially.” Why don’t they just change their rules??

This heat plus humidity is terrible and is really dangerous for the people that do work outside everyday!

So today, we went to the gym and as usual I’m raining all over myself and my sister is simply “glowing.” They are really cheap at our complex and they don’t turn the air down on the ground level so it was almost 90 in the gym- plus the humidity! I was working out next to this older lady and she was riding the crap out of this elliptical trainer. Hery eyes were closed and she looked very determined. I have no sense of balance, so how in the world this lady was able to run like an Olympian with her eyes closed is beyond me. She was going so fast and so hard that I thought she was going to take it off of its spinners and fly away. I wanted to laugh so bad, but obviously I refrained. She got faster and faster and faster I thought she was really about to break the thing and then all of a sudden she just gets off. No cool down or walking around afterwards or anything. The lady was near death and she just hops right down, takes a swig of water and skips on out of there. I was waiting for to collapse, leaving me to try and remember everything from my college blow off first aid class. Seriously, as she was going to town on that elliptical I was thinking, “Okay- she really does not look well. If she falls, doo I elevate the legs and call for help? Cold compress?...” All I could remember were the 3 Cs of an emergency: check ,call, care (can you believe this is a college class!!?). What a failure. It was less than a year ago and that was all that came to me.

My shirt was soaked afterwards. Working out in the “swimming pool” was not the plan for today.

I’ve been caught redhanded in the worst of ways (basically), with my pants down!

I got quite a shock today when I checked my mail.

Let me first compare it to this:

I feel like I walked into Walmart on payday weekend, surrounded by a few thousand people, totally and fully and incredibly NAKED and didn’t even realize it. I casually walked up and down the frigid frozen food aisle with my cart making sure to open every glass door and just stand there staring for a few minutes. Then I strolled on over to the toy section and played a quick game of basketball with Will as I flopped everywhere. I even feel so “embarrassedly” caught that I probably asked for a test drive on one of the little tykes bikes. I then made my way over to the music and video area where I thought I would dance to the tunes they have over their stereo selection. It was only when I went to pay at the checkout that I realized I had no pockets- I was nude the whole time! The Horror! Had enough? I sure have.

That is pretty equivical to how I felt today. Let me explain.

I knew for a while there my mom had read my blog- a long while ago when I used her computer and she could just get on because I had cookies stored with the site so my own information would automatically just come up. Anyway, that stopped a long time ago and we haven’t talked about it sense. Well, today I opened my email from my dad and it was a letter he forwarded to my aunt- SENDING HER MY BLOG LINK because he and my mom had read it and wanted my aunt to read it too!

WHAT IN GOD’s NAME IS GOING ON HERE!?

My heart stopped. Trying to breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Am I breathing? I had to remind myself. Lights are getting dim, I feel like I’m faint. Is this a terrible bad dream where the girl wakes up in her OWN house only to realize the last two months worth of posting in her blog (and the fact she was unemployed) was all just a neverending nightmare? I’m afraid not.  Were my parents really reading my blog!? How long? What did they know? Oh my gosh! know What did they know!!!??

I was in a frantic panic to reread the last couple of months I’ve been here to see just what exactly I’ve written about them… and after reading through all I’ve done is complain about my situation. I can’t believe they’ve been reading my blog please someone save me now!!!!

So, I pulled myself together (sort of) and thought I would post about it, afterall I feel like I’m living with Big Brother and he is watching me at all times, so I might as well write this publicly too.

I use this as a release. I am aware that people read it everyday and I’m okay with that, but I was totally embarrassed when I found out my parents were reading it- that’s a TOTALLY different demographic that must be dealt with seperately. I cannot get over the fact that THEY KNOW!

Mom and Dad- since I have been caught redhanded and I know that you are reading this post this very moment- you too are caught!! I love you all very much and think you are great parents, but if you rewound (the past of rewind… what is it? rewound… I don’t know… anyway) you life and placed yourself in my shoes you would probably be ready for you own place too. Nothing personal. Believe me! You are great, but I can’t help but thinking you are ready for us to go just as much as we are ready to go! It’s not a bad thing, it is just time. No family should have to be crammed in an apartment for as long as we have, so I totally can believe you feel the same way we do- you love us, but for cryin’ out loud- Get Outta Here! Thanks for being so supportive and not complaining about the situation and I’m sorry we have totally ramrodded your living space, and although I complain about it in my blog, I really am thankful for your generosity… I’m just ready to have my own apartment. Desparately ready! Can you understand where I’m coming from?

So, in light of recent incidents I will be entering the Witness Protection Program in hopes of securing my sainity and dignity after my parents have read my blog.

Can I please hide under a rock for a while?

The other day my mom, sister, and I were sharing a piece of carrot cake that we had gotten after lunch. This cake is my sole focus. It has my full attention. Nothing is going to get in the way of me and this cake. I turn into an entirely different person when it comes to sharing dessert. The lion in me comes out. It’s like an aniamal eating her young or something- you may see me on Animal Planet one day. Its like I have a time limit or something, and I not only have to eat the fastest but I have to eat the most. It’s quite entertaining for onlookers I would imagine. The way I see it, everyone is on their own when it comes to sharing a dessert in this family.

So I’m elbowing my sister for more fork room and proceed to tell them how great cream cheese frosting is on carrot cake. I then go on this two minute tangent about how every year Brian (Will’s brother) has a red velvet cake for his birthday and how great cream cheese frosting is on red velvet cake. “Everytime I eat it I sit and try to figure out what flavor red velvet is. I just can never figure it out!”

My mom and sister simultaneously put their fork down, look at eachother, and start laughing. “It’s chocolate cake with red food coloring, britt!” No way! It can’t be! I never think,” This tastes like chocolate” when I eat red velvet. Will someone help me decipher the flavors I experience! AGH!

So anyway, when Will gets home my mom tells me to go ask him (who has no concept of cooking) what red velvet is. “Chocolate cake with lots of red food coloring.”

I feel so deceived! What’s up with that!? What’s the point? You add a fancy name and red food coloring to a simple chocolate cake and it becomes an entire different entity!

*********************************************

Anyway, I didn’t feel like creating a whole new post for the unexciting events to proceed, so I thought I would just attach them to my ramblings of cream cheese frosting and superficial chocolate cake.

We didn’t end up going to the Contiki because it opened at 7 and we were hungry by 5:30. We ended up going to the Hard Rock Cafe. It was the coolest I had ever seen. Its an all glass pyramid, so you have an incredible view no matter where you are. Its right on the gulf, so it was really pretty.

Friday wasn’t much more eventful. My mom ended up having to work because her boss had a heart attack , so it was a lazy day. It was “take your family to work day” for me! Ha Ha. They were able to see all of the exciting and wonderful things I do while I am here “at work” and they are gone (really working).

I am bracing myself for my little sister’s finale to school and her constant company this summer. This sounds silly, but I have a system and schedule down while I sit here and do nothing and wait for a job. I have a feeling my system is going to need a little tweaking with her here… a LOT of tweaking I should say. I think my whole plan is going out the window as we speak.

She is my best friend. I’ve known her her entire life for cryin’ out loud! However, I have a feeling we are going to kill eachother. I forsee many entertaining blogs on the way about being locked in an apartment with my 15 year old sister. Cabin Fever in the air? I think it’s already hit. Hard.

I am already having visions of the many arguments we will have over the computer- our only access to outside life form! I wouldn’t even know people live in Kuwait if it wasn’t for going out on the weekends! Computer sharing will be interesting.  I think it is going to become the thorn in our sides. Shes already made comments about being on it all day, so it am biting my tounge. For now blood in my mouth is better than her blood on the floor. I hope its not that bad. I like my sister and would feel bad about locking her on the balcony so I can maintain my schedule. ha ha

Enough about my uneventful past few days.

I got my pictures developed and they turned out great! My dad is going to scan them for me today, so I should have them up tomorrow or the day after!

Better get going. Happy Saturday. <3

My life is full of embarrassing moments. Maybe I am even being too kind when I say embarrassing. I guess I should just call it like it is and tell you that I regularly have “blonde moments.”

Stop where you are, and don’t let your mind wander and think I am a ditz or not smart- I graduated cum laude (I don’t say that to be a pious snob, I say that so you really know that an “educated” person can consistently have these types of lapses ). So now you are probably like, “Okay, shes smart, but shes one of those that has NO common sense.” Its not really that either, I just have stupid moments sometimes I guess.

My life is full of moments when I will do something “blonde“ when I’m by myself and I just breathe a sigh of relief and think, “Thank God no one was in my presence. Talk about a ‘Jessica Moment’.“

Well, last night I had one of those moments. I obviously had the option of letting my family have a good laugh and then tell no one else (probably the better option), or tell my fellow Nest Bloggers about my silly moment. I guess I’m sharing…

Its always hard to write a funny moment, so I don’t know how this will go- there is no room for inflection or motions to explain things better… so if this story makes absolutely no sense, you can chalk it up to my Mrs. Hamlin, my 8th grade English teacher.

If I had to rank the times I have been most scared in the last 5 years, last night would have made the list.

It was about 12:30 at night, and Will and I had already been asleep for a few hours. Well, for some reason, I wake up and Will has his right arm (the arm closest to me) pointed in the air at about a 45 degree angle and is doing all of these crazy hand motions and number signs or something. By now, I’m wide awake and am asking Will what is going on. He tells me, “I have to see who else is up.“

“What do you mean Will?“

“I can’t tell you.“ So now I am totally disturbed.

“Why can’t you tell me?“

“Don’t worry about it. If it was important I would tell you.“

“Tell me, Will!“

“I can’t tell you. Don’t worry about it. Go to sleep.“

So, he then rolls over and goes to sleep. And I turn over and do the same....

Yeah right.

I sat up in bed against the headboard for almost 2 hours freaking out about our conversation. I was thinking all sorts of things like:

-Is our apartment monitored for safety? Have they seen everything I have done for the last 2 weeks ( so that sent me on a 20 minute tangent as I tried to retrace my every move for the last 2 weeks and think about what “they“ were able to see)

- I read an article on the plane over here about a business planting chips in people- have I seen any cuts or scratches on Will? Could that have happened??

-Does Will have a different job? Is he one of the people in the company that has to have a special security clearance? Is there something I don’t know?

For the sake of my dignity (it might be too late) I will stop there with all of the thoughts I was thinking. I assure you they got much worse. I watch and read WAY to many political thrillers. I had everyone in my family being brainwashed and… I’ll just stop there.

The next morning Will woke me up and I asked him what he was doing last night. He told me he was just dreaming. Since we have been married, there have been a few times when Will has talked in his sleep and done stuff (one night he jumped out of bed and told me there was a snake in the bed. AHH). I guess just being in a totally different environment made this sleeptalking escapade a little frightening. Plus, it was different then the other few.

So either my husband has strange dreams and feels the need to share them through his sleep with me by scaring me senseless… or he really is working for the CIA as a spy and has been brainwashed with an implanted chip....

Talk about embarrassing! We are housesitting my parent’s house while my mom is gone. The house is for sale, so we’ve been bugged with realtors calling wanting to show the house- we just told them to call back Tuesday since I’m in a crappy disposition and the house could be cleaned before strangers view it. Anyway, I’m butt scooting to the bathroom talking about how I need to shower and get the chair set up in there so I can take one and all of a sudden the front door opens and there is a realtor and a family! HELLO!? come on in!! (NOT!) Will is in his pjs still and has my bras and panties in his hand to do a load of laundry. He comes out, explains the situation and they leave- I can’t believe this chick didn’t call and make an appointment. Pretty embarrassing. Hopefully the house will still sell - the couple is not included.

The Forgotten Paycheck and Lysol in my Hand
Can you believe it? I actually forgot to get paid yesterday. I had to laugh to myself for being so scatterbrained. Will , however, did not find it as amusing. So if the lights go out tonight, I guess it’s my fault! ha ha

Today in one of my health classes we had an extensive presentation about household germs. The study followed 10 “neat freak“ families and how they cleaned their kitchens. They then tested for some of the major bacterias like ecoli and staph. In every single kitchen there were traces of them, and in 8 of the 10 the levels were dangerous! I’m thinking, “okay, these are neat freaks’ houses?! What about ‘normal’ houses??“ It truly got me thinking about spraying the house down with Lysol!

Tonight is Will’s “Friday.” Since he works on Sunday, he gets tomorrow off. He is so sweet. He “gave” that day to me about a year ago, so every Friday we get to hang out when I get done with school and we do whatever I have planned. Tomorrow, however, he is going to be helping his dad with some landscape stuff (his dad is a landscape contractor), so I get the day to myself. I think I’ll use to to get much needed homework and other odds and ends done… like sanitizing the house!

PS-Will and Britt pics to come