So my blog is up for renewal. Which means I have to pay to blog. Which means I have to make the decision about whether I’m going to pay for this thing again- and if I do- am I actually going to utilize it and get my moneys worth.

So the answer is yes. I’m going to renew.

And yes, I’m going to post.

If I’m going to pay for another year I’m going to post.

So there you have it. It happens in March.

Stay tuned. 

Hi guys.

Guys?

Guy?

Anyone?

Probably not- not that I would blame you. At all. At all times a million.

The answer to your question is- I have no idea why.

The other answer is yes, I am going to post soon. A real one. Because I’m a “blogger” and that’s what bloggers do. Even if they don’t blog for oh- like four months.

Yikes.

We’ll talk about all that later.

Not that there’s much to discuss really.

But I do feel like we should talk anyway.

About anything.

And everything.

Welcome back, Brittny. You’re home again.

More to come (soon)…

Boredom will make you do crazy things.

Like eat.

Or post for no good reason.

Or watch totally stupid crap on TV (Hello MTV True Life!).

Or quite possibly the worst of all-

Facebook.

I know.

How dare I speak ill of our beloved Facebook right?

Ha- don’t worry, I’m not.

Truth be told I think I’ve spent more hours on there the last month than I have my entire Facebook “career.”

Heh.

Facebook Career.

But something gets terribly skewed when you’re so.incredibly.bored and sit online for hours despite having plenty to do.

(cough- cleaning)

You start on the homepage looking at all the updates.

Then you go to your page (for the billionth time) to see who’s left you a comment.

And then you go to a few of you favorite friends’ pages and say hello, see what’s been going on etc.

And then you sit there.

Bored again.

You could clean.

Who are you kidding? You’d way rather sit in front of a computer screen than face your laundry pile.

You could go for a walk.

Eh… fresh air is overrated.

So once again you’re in front of the computer screen.

And then it happens.

You start looking at all your friend’s pages.

You begin looking at all their posts, their pictures, and their friends.

There’s no nice way to put it.

You’re facebook stalking.

The more friends you look at the crazier you get. It’s like this switch flips on and you’ve become this crazy ex girlfriend sitting outside your Facebook friend’s house waiting for them to come home from their date so you can size up the girlfriend’s car and hair and shoes.

It’s like you’ve become the creepy guy that calls your crush a million times but every time she pics up the phone and says hello you panic, chicken out, and hang up.

It’s like you’re BE FRI part of the BEST FRIENDS necklace and are watching to make sure that ST ENDS is not cheating on you.

You’re completely out of control!

Sigh…

As you can see, I’ve been way too bored the last few days. Although I don’t think I’m anywhere near the crazy ex girlfriend facebook stalker status, I must admit I’ve logged a lot of hours on that poor site. It’s like I’m studying for an MFA- and it’s not a Master of Fine Arts. It’s a Master of Facebook Activities.

Thankfully I can say I have never gotten into the whole, “So and So wants to invite you to have a drink on them! or So and So thinks you’re the 9th nicest person they know! Vote for them too!” So, I mean my Facebook activity could most definitely be far worse I suppose.

Right?

It’s like this awful drug that keeps reeling you in! You want to stop so bad. You want to stop and be a productive member of society but you’re so tempted by that high. That “one last hit” on someone’s wall…

it hurts so good.

So, I’m trying to quit.

Okay, I’m lying. I’m not trying to quit.

Although I’d be a genius if I could invent a patch for quitting Facebook.

Hmmm....

Anyway- I really need to tear myself off of the computer a little more so I can be more productive this fall.

I could take up knitting.

Or basket weaving.

Or sopapilla making.

Or maybe just learn how to spell “sopapilla.”

...

Or I could just stay on Facebook.

I could do that too.

Maybe I’ll try to quit another day. That sounds like a plan.

See you on your wall (or outside your house).

I swear I’m only kidding about the house part. I’m not a Facebook stalker.

Hey I saw that look! I’m not and you know it. Scouts honor.

<3

1. The weekend wasn’t as bad as anticipated.

2. Pictures are posted and I think they turned out pretty good. I think Will needs to wear a tux everyday.

3. I never became more aware of the fact that Will and I truly and seriously treat our dogs like real life children more than I did this weekend. I listened to all our family members with kids and the little common trigger phrases they said and thought to myself, “Wow… I say that too. To my dogs. I think Will and I need help.”

4. I actually thought about kids this weekend (as in maybe having them one day down the road) and sort of freaked out but sort of did not. Long story short- I saw a lot of couples this weekend with small kids that seemed miserable (not with their children, but with their spouse) and it freaked me out. At the same time I thought about how I also know a lot of people that seem even happier with their spouse. I guess some of that could have been because of the circumstance (um I’m pretty sure traveling and having to stay up late for a family dinner can make EVERYONE grumpy). What do you think?

5. I honestly wore more makeup than the bride this weekend and felt a little ridiculous. She’s very simple and I so should have remembered that. Eh- I don’t get to dress up much so I figured I might as well do it right.

6. The AC in our truck went out. Thankfully it went out on the way home and not on the way there. I’m certain Will and I would have ended up in marital counseling had it gone out before. Have I mentioned I turn into a raging psychopath when I get hot? Probably not.

7. I felt really old Sunday when I went to bed at around 8:30.

8. I like Will’s family- despite what I say on my website sometimes. I’m pretty lucky to have his family in my life. I could definitely have worse- and realized that this weekend.

9. I didn’t even get to dance with Will at the reception. :( Do you know the last time we danced was back in 2002 when we met in ballroom dancing class!? I thought I was getting a dancer, but um- notsomuch. The 3 or 4 times they had a slow song Will was helping to get the bride’s overnight bag into Dr. Vet’s car, or tagging the car, or something else. Will and I were going to dance to the last slow song they played, but Dr. Vet and Mrs. Dr. Vet snatched us up and we danced with them instead. Oh well. Hopefully someone else will get married soon?

10. I’m beyond behind on reading and commenting on your blogs. Therefore I’m turning off comments today until I catch up. Sorry I’m a sucky blog friend but I promise to catch up soon. 

You don’t have to tell me.

I’ve been gone a while.

Have you guys gotten so behind in something to the point where you simply start avoiding it at all costs?

Take laundry.

It literally sits on my couch unfolded for days on end and the longer it sits the more I want to forget about it because I realize how awful it is to let it sit there. You’re a freaking adult darn it! Clean up your crap!

Heh- I’m a freaking adult darn it- therefore I can do what I want and let the laundry sit.

That’s what I think anyway.

So- the computer sort of became like the laundry on the couch. I believe I’ve eluded to that before- I’m a sucker for daylight savings time and the longer the days get the more I seem to want to stay away from the computer.

I hadn’t checked my email in almost two weeks! Craziness I know.

So the truth is that there’s a whole lot going on. Dr. Vet is tying the knot this weekend so things have been very busy.

I must admit, I’m just ready for them to be married already! Geez-a-lou let’s get this weekend started and over.

So this weekend will be devoted to an array of wedding festivities. P told me to bring a “bottle of water” to keep myself loose and carefree hydrated. At first I thought she was crazy, but now I simply think she’s on to something.

There’s definitely a lot to talk about in the coming days and I promise not to suck at posting next week and I promise to post pictures.

Because I know how much you guys love looking at pictures of random strangers, right!?

Have a lovely weekend and let’s plan to catch up soon (I say that for my own benefit- not yours). 

Yes.

I realize that it’s Thursday night and I have not posted since Monday.

It’s not like I have weirdies (and before we go any farther- yes. I also realize that “weirdies” isn’t technically a word, however it is most definitely a commonly used word in my B-Love dictionary) stalking my blog hourly or anything, but I do feel like I should call out and apologize for the fact that it’s been a few days since I’ve last posted.

I have no idea why.

Do you ever just feel tired of technology?

That’s sort of how I was feeling this week.

I mean we’re SURROUNDED by technology everywhere we turn. Ha- I even make my living off the stuff.

The truth is that the thought of taking time to peruse the Internet after work this week made me groan. I just felt like turning off my phone, ignoring the computer, and being a technology hermit this week.

Many of you will gasp at the fact that I haven’t checked my facebook in over a week.

Heresy I know!

I’ve just felt sort of “blah” and didn’t have any desire to log on here and yammer about nothingness.

...

Which I realize I’m doing this.very.second.

Anyway, I think getting off the computer and phone and (gasp) the TV is a good idea every now and then. I mean, there is this thing called “outside” and it should be enjoyed from time to time. No wonder we are the way we are (lethargic, overweight...)- we’ve forgotten that it used to be very normal to go outside and do things!

I know what you’re thinking-

who in the world do I think that I am talking all this crazy stuff about getting off the computer and possibly even the TV to enjoy life and breath fresh air.

I know!

I’m out of my mind!

I have no idea what’s come over me, but I think it’s not all bad.

So, sorry for the few day hiatus, don’t worry- I’m not taking a blogging break. I’m just going to try to enjoy life outside of the box I’m staring out right now and realize there’s life outside of the internet.

So you guys go and do the same!!

Dr. Vet’s wedding shower is Saturday. I have this super long story to share with you guys about the whole matter.

In short- there’s more to come.

<3

"I’m 26 years old and I still loathe buying tampons. You’d think that was something I would have grown out of- but, no.

I wonder why, too? I mean- I realize it’s no big deal. I must admit, though, I really love when you go for me.”

“Yeah- but I don’t.”

“I know- but like I said, I hate it. When you go people know you’re just being a wonderful husband. They know they’re not for you. When I go, however, it is very, very clear that those super duper sized tampons are for me. Ha- or it could also be the gallon of ice cream I buy with them. That probably gives it away too. I mean- it’s this whole thing! Do you get a cart for the tampons, or do you tromp around the whole Wal-mart holding them discretely by your side while you casually walk to the entire other side of the store for the ice cream? Do you-”

(cutting me off)

“Brittny- lately it seems like anytime you talk about things or tell me stories it’s like you’re blogging.”

“Nooo. You’re crazy. I just like to drone on about things.”

And then I hopped out of the truck and began my tampon/cookie dough mission (thinking all the while about telling you guys about standing in front of the cookie dough section holding a jumbo sized box of tampons).

Um- between you and me? After assessing the most recent stories I’ve told Will this week? Yeah, he’s right. I totally talk in blog.

I used to be so good at sitting in front of the computer and just typing about nothing.

About anything.

Just sitting and typing and wherever my mind wandered I followed and somehow it turned out to be a halfway decent post.

However, it seems as though lately I haven’t been able to sit and mindlessly wander. It feels as though like now I need to have a “purpose” for my post- a direction.

The truth is- I’m full of crap. There’s no blog law about purpose and no wandering. I think the truth is that I’m getting older.

I’m growing up.

I don’t know about you guys, but it seems as though each year I age, more creativity and imagination gets sucked out of me and more boring black and white corporate blah adult “stuff” gets shoved in me. I guess part of that is normal and goes with being older, but at the same time, it’s as though it gets easy to lose a part of yourself as you get so tangled up in work and mortgages and “adult responsibilities” (I have no idea why I put that in quotations) that you forget just to lighten up and freaking do what you want to do. Post. About about whatever makes me happy. Who cares if no one else cares?

I have no idea why I’m rambling on about these things.

Maybe because I’m about to turn another year older in a couple of weeks and it’s actually got me a little bummed?

It could be that.

I could be “projecting” (I have no idea why I put that in quotations either).

It’s probably that.

Actually, I have no idea.

Perhaps I’m using my birthday as a way to address my “lack of blogging direction” (again- I have no idea why that’s in quotations)?

Or it also could be that hey- I’m not getting any younger here. These wrinkles? Only going to get worse. And so therefore instead of focusing on the fact that I’m about to officially enter my mid-to-late 20s I am diverting attention to the fact that I can’t “mindlessly wander when I post anymore” (yeah- no idea what’s up with these pesky quotations… or the fact that I’m putting the period on the outside of them. What an annoyance. I wanted to spell nusciance, but yeah- as you can see, I have no idea how to spell it, so I thought it best not to put it in my post...)”

In all honesty, it’s probably a combination of both. I’m getting older. I look back at my first posts in 2005 and they seem to be written differently than the ones of 2009. I guess it’s because wow- I was a baby back then!- but now here I am, almost four years later and a little more mature and experienced than the 2005 Brittny. Also, 2005 Brittny never lived much of her life in the real world, and 2009 Brittny certainly has. I’m sure work and bills and adult-hood has changed me and my ability to sit down and just talk about whatever I want.

Oh- and who can forget that now I actually tend to care about who’s reading these days.

I think that’s a factor as well.

Whatever it is (and really- who cares?) I’ve come to realize I’m evolving. I’m changing everyday and so are my thoughts, interests, and things I share.

So who cares that I can’t just sit here and ramble about “silly things?” (ha ha, now I just want to annoy you with quotes. Yeah- I know. SO mature, right?)

I’m growing up. We’re all growing up. We’re changing and evolving and hopefully getting better.

I’m sure I’ll sit down and mindlessly write some day soon, and it will come easy and I’ll laugh because I was just certain it was due to my little quarter-life crisis.

Until then? I’m not worried.

More to come…

That’s right, my friends. Today I’ll be crossing the Red River into Longhorn country.

It’s time for the (not so annual) annual BTS weekend!

I met Sarah while vacationing back home in 2006 and we had a really fun day full of lunch and facials!

Last year Sarah, Theresa, and I were united in Texas for a weekend of fun which included a Rodeo, shopping, and relaxing (and it was a that point I was certain I wasn’t chatting online with hairy sweaty fossils with Dorito crumbs stuck in between their neck fat).

This year is gearing up to be lots of the same- fun friends, fun memories, and fun plans.

To think we all met on the nest is always so crazy to me.

Here’s to another weekend of fun.

More to come.

<3

Okay.

This is my blog. Mine. All mine! Iinsert evil laugh right ______<- here.

This is my blog and it's something very important to me. Something that keeps me sane and a place I run to during all times of my life. This blog as been my life's journey and is a giant part of my life.

When I started this thing- way back in 2005 on the nest I had no idea anyone would ever read it- let alone that I would have “blog friends” I talk to on a regular basis, some of which I have met. I had no idea that this “blog” would do so much for me and become part of my identity. No idea at all.

With that said, I feel like I need to share something with you.

I’m beginning to feel like I can’t be myself on here anymore. When I started this blog- 1. I never thought anyone would read it (as previously stated!) and 2. It was not created for people I know to read it.

I know that sounds silly, but it’s very true. The thought of people that I actually know and see and talk to knowing about the time I plugged up my in-law’s toliet or the time I left my lunch in the fridge for half a year or…

well- you guys read my blog- you know the list goes on and on…

that stuff isn’t made for people I know! It’s made for you guys! The people I like!

Ha ha- kidding.

sort of…

Anyway-

now that I’ve moved back I feel incredibly censored by myself.

I feel like I can’t share my heart like I want to and I hate that.

I hope you hate that too.

I think about all the people I think I know that read my blog and it makes me feel all bummed- because

as I said before-

this blog isn’t for them!

Okay wait-

it is.

I guess.

There are several people that I know in real life that I know read my blog (Hi guys! You know who you are...), and I’m so fine with that. It doesn’t bother me at all. I appreciate that we can keep in touch in this medium, and am most appreciative of them outing themselves.

It’s the people I know that read my blog and I don’t know about it that bothers me. The possibilities are endless.

Unfortunately I’m getting to the point in which I’m considering going partially private- and I really, really don’t want to do that. That’s not why I started this blog and it was never my intention to feel as though I need to be careful in what I say. I wanted this blog to be raw and honest and “me” and I want it to stay that way.

However, now that I’m back home I feel like it can’t as easily as before.

Do you guys know how many people from Oklahoma are reading my blog these days? A freaking ton!

Okay- so I officially went from 3 readers to 9- but seriously- it feels like a ton!

I think I was most freaked out when someone searched for something specific about my family on my blog. Perhaps it was innocent, perhaps it was by one of those people I mentioned above- people I know that know me and read my blog, however I can’t help but think it’s those people that think they know me and have somehow found out about my blog. Sadly, there are a lot of people like that in my life. People that knew me before I went to Kuwait and have judged me for my decisions and have said some pretty hurtful things.

Sigh.

If I really wanted to I could take hours upon end to figure out who everyone was but I’m not that dedicated in reverse blog stalking (ha ha- I think I just made up a new term). 

I know this is what I get for having a public blog- the unknown of who’s out there. The inability to control who visits and what they do with the information I write.

I don’t want to feel like I have to tip-toe around what I want to say because of other people- like I said- this is my blog.

So I’m going to try my best not to do so, and that’s my commitment to all (ha ha- all...) nine of you who read my blog. We’ll see what the future has in store, and don’t worry you won’t show up to my site and be completely locked out. If I like you- I’ll tell you first (ha ha).

To my fellow Okie readers (the ones I don’t know in real life)- thanks for stopping by. If you ever see me at Teds or an OU game or at The Dollar Tree (see below post) please say hi! <- and please also don’t be a creepo. Thanks. Also, if you feel inclined to say hi in the comments section, please do! It will probably put my mind to rest a smidge.

Smidge.

What IS a smidge?

...

Anyway-

I have no idea why I shared all of this with you guys (the blog stuff- not the smidge stuff)… I guess it’s been weighing on my mind for a while now.

I suppose that’s all, really. I just needed to vent a little and do some sharing. Thanks for listening.

Now go have a good day!