New Year’s Eve was full of reflection in the B-Love house.
As you may remember, 2015 did not go as we anticipated or hoped.
We spent the last night of 2015 talking about our expectations for the year and how differently they played out. Who would have thought the bottom would have fallen out of the oil and gas industry, and that selling our half of the business might have been one of the best things that could have happened to us at the time?
Yet, before all that came to pass, our initial expectations for 2015 were quite different based on our limited knowledge.
As a preacher I know once said- We only have a few pieces of the puzzle, but God has the whole box top and sees how it all goes together.
We spent lot of time that night evaluating dreams, the past, the future, the “whys?” and the “what’s next?”
I told Will I was frustrated.
I could clearly see God’s hand and protection over us with how things happened with the business.
What a huge, huge blessing we can now look back on and see. How he made provision to protect us even when, at the time, we thought everything was crumbling around us.
Yet, ever since then, I haven’t really been able to detrrmine God’s guidance regarding what’s next.
I kept waiting for Him to show up in some mighty way this year. Divinely showing Will that he was supposed to go back into the ministry.
Yet, that opportunity came and went this year too (though I didn’t post about it on the blog).
Lots of waiting.
Lots of wondering.
Lots of wandering.
I told Will I was frustrated because I’m here. I’ve got my arms stretched out wide asking God, begging God, to use me.
To take my life and do as He pleases. To show me where to go. To open doors and give me opportunities to bring Him glory.
More questions than answers.
It’s like we’re in the car ready to drive but have no directions to our destination.
“It would be a lot easier if He’d just tell us what to do next!” I told Will.
Will is used to my impatience.
He looked at me and said what I already knew.
“It’s the journey Brittny. It’s the journey.”
“Do you think Abraham would have truly trusted God if he already knew a sacrificial lamb was waiting for him when we went to the mountain with Isaac?”
The journey is about being refined.
It’s a process.
We talked about the “Hall of Faith” in Hebrews and how long, how incredibly long, most of the people had to wait for God’s full plan to come to pass.
Just like us, they waited. They probably wondered, and perhaps they even wandered and floundered sometimes too.
But they trusted and are counted as the faithful saints who placed themselves in God’s hands when they couldn’t see the whole picture. They rested in knowing He “had the box top.”
Step by step, day by day.
Being refined in His likeness.
God’s still here.
He’s always here.
He often doesn’t do what we expect, but that doesn’t mean He’s not at work.
We agreed we likely won’t see the fullness of our 2015 story for quite some time, because it’s a journey.
We will simply step out in faith this year and “do the next thing,” trusting that God will redirect if that’s not the right next thing.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t anxious about 2016. Nervous about the oil and gas market and how it’s affected and is affecting our great state. Nervous about my job in this industry, just as my fellow colleagues are too.
I truly believe I will have to trust in and rely on the Lord more this year than ever before.
Remember my post about that? It still rings true. Everyday.
I pray this year brings us closer to Him, and that we see His hand in every move we make.
I pray this year we will draw closer to Him and let Him do as He pleases, even when we don’t understand.
I pray others will be strengthened around us and that God will glorify Himself in all we do.
To the journey of 2016.
To the glory of the Lord our God.