Because I'm Terrible at Scrapbooks

Look Who’s Back in Town

Alright so I’m here, back, and closer than ever to my favorite blog friends.

It still feels weird knowing that this isn’t a vacation, that it’s the real thing and I’m here to stay.

As soon as I got off the plane I remembered two things:

1. How much I hate humidity.

2. How much I love the smell of green grass.

Strange how in the grand scheme of life those two things are the first that I thought about as soon as I arrived back to the States.

Things have been hectic thus far- oh and the pups have major seperation anxiety. How fun is that!?

not.

We met with the bank yesterday to see what exactly we could afford as we started to house hunt, and tomorrow the house hunt begins. I’m excited but also stressed because we don’t have long to find a place and get settled. We just figured with the way the market is right now, a house was the way to go.

I feel like I have so much more I want to tell you guys, but Will would kill me if he knew I was on here talking to my “internet friends,” so I should go now. Just wanted to say hello from the States. I hope now that I’m back we can finally have that nestie reunion we’ve been talking about. smile

Oh, and I’ve turned comments off on this post because I totally suck and have been an awful internet friend this month and should be banished never to use the internet again I haven’t been able to get online much and have lots of reading to catch up on.

Love you guys. Thank you so much for you encouragment and support. I’m so lucky to “know” you guys.

The house hunt begins…

Goodnight Q-8

My Last Full Day in Kuwait

We got up relatively early yesterday.

I showered, got ready, ate toast with P, and hung around my parent’s house. Around 9:45 my mom dropped me and P off at The Avenues so we could spend some gift cards. Our mission was to find me work clothes and P a gold bracelet to wear to prom.

H&M was the first stop where I attempted to do damage- only I couldn’t find much. I found one dress for 5 KD, but when I tried to pay for it with my 10 KD gift card they totally freaked out. Apparently you can’t just use part of a gift card in this country- it’s all or nothing. I bantered back and forth, got mad, and left. Repeat the above incident with the next 2 stores and my frustration level was through the roof. We did some more browsing and I began to get discouraged. I couldn’t find anything.

We finally stopped in Debenham’s and I found so many beautiful outfits. I found a dress, a top, a swimsuit, and a ring for 50 KD (the exact amount of my gift cards). I went to pay, expecting no trouble this time, only to have the assistant manager come to me and ask where I got these gift cards. I told him I got them as a gift. He excused himself for a moment and then came back to tell me I couldn’t use the cards because there was no issuing store written on the back. Apparently it made it look like I had stolen the gift cards.

At this point I was livid. “I can’t use these gift cards because someone wasn’t efficient at their job? I might as well have lit 50 KD on fire!”

“Come back tomorrow madam and we will try to track down where this code was issued.”

“I’m flying out tomorrow.”

“No- just come back tomorrow, no worries.”

“I’m flying OUT tomorrow. I’m not coming back.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah- so am I!”

P and I took off- and I was extremely pissed from that point on. Oh the fun of living in Kuwait. Nothing is ever easy.

We decided it was time for lunch after the whole gift card fiasco. P decided it was time to expand my tastes, so it was Indian food at Asha’s. I wasn’t ready for curry, so I stuck with something fairly simple and really liked it. Don’t ask me what it was, though. Something with cottage cheese and mustard and vegetables- all with a fancy Hindi title of course. We talked about college, and what my life will be like at home. We talked about travel and food, and all the reasons I shouldn’t move to America.

After Asha’s we did some more browsing, stopped at a pharmacy, and headed home. We didn’t do too much after that. Will and my dad came home from our apartment with the last of the stuff we planned to ship. We just lounged around the house for a few hours and looked for houses Will and I could buy back home. After while, my mom decided to take me back to the mall so I could get the clothes I had tried to buy earlier. She paid, and assured me she would get the whole gift card thing settled once I left. I told her to use them to buy herself something nice, since she had just purchased clothes for me. I hope she does.

By then it was time for dinner. We decided to do Casper and Gambini’s one last time for good measure. I’m glad we did.

Streams of Consciousness

After dinner, we just sat around the house. P and I looked at stuff online- I think she was trying to cheer me up. My disposition began to decline as the evening continued. My heart began to feel heavy, and after 3 weeks of rushing and stressing and worrying, it finally began to sink in that this was my last night in Kuwait. That my time was done and I was going to have to go back to a place that, in all honesty, I don’t want to go. P tried so hard to be positive and tell me all the great and wonderful things I had to look forward to, yet none of them seemed to make me stop hurting.

P seems to be the only person that gets that. Everyone else thinks I’m crazy for feeling the way I do- I mean- why wouldn’t I want to go back home? As P and I discussed last night, it’s because I have two “homes” now. So many people don’t understand that.

I dread the thought of returning to a place where minds are so closed. Where life doesn’t exist anywhere else outside of people’s tiny fenced in houses. Where people don’t have entirely different lives across an ocean that seems to grow smaller as each year passes. The truth is that there is this huge sky out there that envelops this whole big world that goes on when we’re sleeping or working or eating. Far bigger than those backyard fences.

I know I’m being totally stereotypical. I realize so many people value and realize life outside of their own egocentric happenings. The trouble is that where I’m going, life is so small. Minds are so closed. I’m so different than I was 3 years ago, so much better, and I dread returning to a place and it being just like it was when I left it. Will likes that. I guess that’s what makes it “home.” He’s so lucky, and since I’m being honest with you guys, I envy his excitement. Why can’t I just be happy and excited about this change?

One reason is that I don’t handle change well. At all. Life here is what I know now. It’s normal and comfortable. I’m scared to move home. The other reason is that this all happened so fast. We were supposed to have a “transition out plan” where I could prepare myself to leave. Where I could get myself ready for all these things I’m feeling right now. Also- moving wasn’t supposed to be hard! I always knew there would be an end date to our time here, but it seemed so far away, and I always imagined it being an easy tie to cut. Another thing is that I’ve been around my family my entire life. They’ve always been near, and now they’re a once a year trip away. I know people live their lives like this all the time, but again, I always imagined them being close. The thought of them being so far away brings tears to my eyes.

If I told you I was ready to start this new chapter in my life, I’d be lying. I’m ready because I know, without a doubt, it’s God’s will for us to return to the states. However, although I know that in my soul, the rest of me seems to be in argument. Obedience isn’t always easy, right? Why couldn’t I have an easy lesson!? This has been the biggest test and move of faith in my entire life, and certainly the most painful thus far. I just want things to be like they were before. They didn’t hurt then.

My heart seems so full of emotions but for some reason I can’t verbalize how I feel. So- I won’t continue to try. I just wanted to write so (hopefully) 3 more years from now I’ll look back, laugh at myself, and say, “Oh Brittny, if you only knew how life was going to turn out!”

I hope that’s what happens.

So I bid this amazing adventurous chapter in my life farewell and trade it in for the slow lane. There are so many things I won’t miss about Kuwait, but far more that I will. This place has made me a much better person, and I’m so thankful for my time here. I don’t know what lies ahead, but I know I’ll be okay. I just wish it didn’t hurt to walk away.

<3

See you in America…

moving brings out the best in people.

Not!

If you ever want to test your sanity- move. That’s seriously all you need to do.

Will? He’s officially crazy.

Me? Well… we always knew I was a little unstable.

Moving has taken my marriage to a whole new level of…er… closeness.

“Will! Why are you shipping 100 pounds of clothes you’re NEVER going to wear again!? These things literally stayed in boxes for our entire 3 years here!”

“Because. I’m going to lose weight when I go home.”

“That’s what you said in 2005 when we moved over here.”

**

“Brittny- are you even trying to pack correctly and conserve space?”

“Of course I am! In fact- I think I’m doing a pretty good job!”

Sigh, “Brittny- move out of the way. Let a professional do it.”

“Pft- ‘Professional.’ Oh. Apparently I’m a moron and just drool on myself and am incapable of helping!?”

Yeah. That’s been the lovely conversations between the B-Love family this past week. I’ve crammed, stuffed, and folded more items that I care to mention- and then Will has gone behind me and crammed, stuffed, and folded the exact same items again. Oddly enough- this move has definitely brought us closer. I know it’s hard to believe when you see the banter above!

Oh guys, this week has been hell. We originally planned to have movers come and pack everything up for us because we were on such a short schedule. Well, the former Emir of Kuwait died last week and the whole thing put Kuwait business on hold for 3 days. So- we weren’t able to get a quote until Saturday.

$6,000.

$6,000 to move everything from here to the States! We just stared at each other in shock. So- Saturday night we had a whole different change of plans- aside from a few big pieces we would do our own shipping through the Army post office.

Yes- 3 years worth of stuff being shipped in footlockers. Plus Will can’t access camp anymore so it’s me and my dad lugging 15 footlockers to the army post office everyday this week. And the high is like 115. Yeah- that’s been fun. I mentioned that moving tests your mental strength, right?

The worst part of all is that the next 2 weeks of my life will be worse- far worse. I’m seriously just praying God will make provisions. He’s orchestrated this whole thing so beautifully. Guys, it’s been insane how things have worked out. It’s been perfect, which is yet another confirmation we’re supposed to go. I just have to continue to trust that these next 2 weeks will work out just like these 2 have.

Tomorrow is my last day of work, but it’s all full of out processing, so today is really my last actual work day. Guys, when I thought about this whole “moving thing” in my head it went so differently than reality. I guess that’s how life works. In my mind we had a plan. We had time to pack, and make arrangements, and go to “our place” just one last time. We had time to enjoy the “lasts” of everything. I wanted time to post my thoughts, to write about what I was doing and how I was feeling. However, in reality everything is moving so quickly that I haven’t had time to realize, “Brittny- this is it. Your time in the middle east is over.” I guess if I’m honest with you guys, I’m sort of glad I haven’t had time to let the truth sink in. The truth, when if finally hits me, is going to be painful. Just typing about it makes my heart start to hurt. I haven’t had time to miss anything, and I think that’s good. Maybe that’s another one of those God orchestrations. He knows my exit needs to be like a band-aid being ripped off skin. He’s right. Having time to dwell would only make me sad and I certainly don’t need that! Staying busy has been a good thing. 

I have so many things I want to share with you guys. There is just so much going on with my life right now! I really hope to post one last time before we leave, so hopefully I’ll be able to do that. We’re staying with my parents this weekend so I’m going to try to get on a computer while I’m there. I’ll be home in just a few days and I still can’t fathom it all. I guess it’s because I’m up to my eyes in footlockers and SO MUCH FREAKING CRAP that needs to be packed. Seriously- I can’t believe all the stuff we have.

Also- I’m really sorry I haven’t been commenting lately. You guys have been such great and supportive friends and I haven’t really reciprocated that this week, and I apologize. I must also admit, I doubt I’ll comment for the next few weeks either. Know you’re in my thoughts and prayers. I think about you often and I look forward to catching up stateside. More to come from Kuwait…

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

I seriously wish I could fly to a dozen different states, scoop you all up, and take you to my neighborhood (wherever it shall be…)! You guys would be the best neighbors ever! Just think Lucy and Ethel without the crazy antics- although if you’re living next to me I can’t make any promises that there won’t be any of those.

I want to say thank you to all of you that sent me lots of encouraging words the last two days. I felt incredibly loved and thought of. Thought of… okay you English teachers, get over yourselves. Anyway, thank you so much for your friendship. I truly count you all as my personal friends. My 3 years here did not bring me very many “real life” friends, and so many times I came to you all and you were there- even when it was across an ocean. Now- now we’ll be in the same country! Like- “Hey, why don’t we meet and it will only be a 5 hour drive!” same country!

Don’t tell Will, but you’re all invited to a gigantic house warming party when we move. I may hand you a paint brush and put you to work, but hey- everything is more fun with friends (and perhaps wine). Plus half of you have either bought a place or redecorated your houses since I’ve known you- so you’re FULL of ideas! This is the best idea ever! Painting Party Weekend 08!

Okay- I guess I better run that by Will before I have 60 ladies from all over the US show up at my door. That goes a little beyond a girl’s weekend. That’s more like college sorority house gone mid twenties with husbands and babies. Yeah- Will would LOVE grown women giggling and acting like high schoolers- all with paint, wine, and sharp tools within reach. Not…

I started looking for houses yesterday. Ladies, it’s a dangerous, dangerous thing to allow a woman to look for houses. I had us living in 3,500 sq. foot homes with heated floors and in ground pools. Yeah, looking was lots of fun, but I seriously need to buckle down and lock into reality- which is far from heated floors! But it’s so darn fun…

To answer some of your questions- Will is hanging around and helping us get ready for the big move. We’ll fly out together (with the doggies) in a couple weeks. From there we’ll begin the house hunt- which I’m officially dreading. I hate the idea of trying to find “the perfect house” in a matter of days, but thus far God has worked everything else out so I expect this situation to be no different. Will has called family that live near where we’ll be, so we have a few ideas of places to start looking. To answer your question about where we’ll be living- we’ll be close enough to drive to OU games each weekend- which is all you really need in life right (ha)?

Oh guys- now all I need is for us to have a Big Huge Decorating Party Weekend! Oh- and a house and a car and some other (very) important things… but you get the point. 

I just wanted to write to say thank you so much for helping me through these 3 years. I’m not sure you’ll ever know how much I appreciate you guys, and to have you share in my joy and be excited for me makes me so happy. I’m glad we can celebrate things with each other.

Continuing to keep you posted… <3

Big Huge Decorating Party Weekend 08- be there or be square.

Oh, and I’ll keep you posted on any houses for sale next door to ours- (so you can run away in fear and tell any prospective buyers to do the same!)!

All Good Things Must Come to an End.

A little over 3 years ago, Will got in his car and began the long drive across town.

He was about to sit his parents down and tell them we would be moving across an ocean- and not only that, but we also planned to live there for quite a while.

The whole time he was gone, my stomach was in knots. I prayed the entire time- and cleaned incessantly. When Will returned home he told me about the conversation with his parents. It obviously was full of his mother’s tears, and awkward silence, but it was over. Officially done.

Just a few short weeks later, Will and I were sleeping on our bedroom floor and recounting memories of the house we would soon be leaving. It was emotional, but at the same time exciting. I couldn’t wait to leave Oklahoma and begin a new chapter in our lives. I couldn’t wait to be reunited with my family and lead a whole new life in Kuwait.

I felt so many different things as we drove away from our house that last time. So many questions, wonders, and uncertainties. We simply drove off trusting God to take care of us and unsure about all the details the future would hold for us.

It’s so hard to believe that this week marks 3 years since Will and I bid our life in Oklahoma goodbye. In some ways it seems like yesterday, but in other ways it feels like an eternity. I have truly learned to call Kuwait home, and I truly enjoy living here. I’m comforted by the prayer calls that sing me to sleep each night, and unalarmed by the ladies garbed in all black. I’m no longer shocked when the scorching summer heat takes my breath away, or when it’s raining mud. This has become my life. It’s incredibly normal to me. As odd as it sounds, I have grown comfortable with a place not my own. A place that worships a different god than mine, and a place that does not value so many things that I value. I know it seems as though such things are contradictions, yet at the same time they make so much sense to me.

The thought of saying goodbye makes me heart hurt, though I’ve known along it was something I would have to do one day. I just never knew I would grow attached to this place, and that’s what makes it so hard.

I resigned today.


Driving Miss Daisy (I’m Driving Will Crazy)

Will’s last day of work was yesterday.

Yep. The guy is officially a house-husband, but don’t get any visions of fresh baked cookies or newly painted walls. Will? Yeah, he’s not exactly into such things.

bummer.

Anyhow- along with not renewing his contract come a whole host of potential arguments inconveniences- such as no longer being able to drive a company car.

You wouldn’t think driving would be a big issue between husband and wife.

Ha- who am I kidding!? Driving has been an issue since day one. You don’t think Adam had a lead foot as they road out of Eden?

“Adam! Slow down! Don’t make me stop this camel!”

“Cleopatra you MUST properly signal while driving this chariot! Do you know what people must think of me,Caesar, when they see the way you recklessly drive?”

Yeah- driving has been an issue among the ages.

See, Will is the driver of the marriage. Whenever we go somewhere, Will is behind the wheel. Now, however, it’s me behind the wheel, and well, let’s just say Adam and Eve have nothing on us.

We went out last night to celebrate a few things in our lives (namely Will’s contract completion and my sister’s college acceptance letter) which required me to drive in extremely heavy traffic to our destination. Have I told you Kuwait is one of the most dangerous places to drive? Lovely.

Prior to arriving, we made a pit stop at the movie store. After our stop, Will thought it best to take a “short cut” to avoid the Gulf Road traffic.

Genius.

This little short cut was not only filled with last minute, “Turn there!” comments as I passed by the exit, and “You need to give me time!” responses.

Not only that, but this “short cut” actually put us farther away from the destination! So then we had to take another “short cut.”

Repeat above conversation.

Times 5.

Oh guys- it was fun.

not.

“You’re such a bad driver.”

“Well you better get used to it because I’m the driver now!

That’s right Will, I’m, the driver.”

Oh wow- I only wish there were a video camera to capture last night’s events. Let’s pray that Will never breaks his right foot. We’d be in trouble friends.

I know I’ve said this a thousand times- but I really mean it: Will and I could absolutely never ever go on The Amazing Race.

Ever.

Despite the constant bickering to and from dinner we had a great night. I posted a few pictures on my Flickr. My camera’s battery was low so sadly, they didn’t turn out very well.

Oh and I posted some pics of the old apartment. Excuse the mess- we were moving.

Have a lovely weekend! More crazy driving arguments to come- I’m certain…

Memo

Note to Self: Post Soon.

Sorry I suck this week.

More to come…

posted in Blogging,Nothingness bullet permalink bullet 5.07.2008

Losing Lucy

I’m pretty sure I’d make a crappy parent.

It could be the fact that I’ve caught myself on a daily basis occasionally calling the dogs names such as “freaking idiots”

“Pieces of crap”

“Accidents”

It could also be the fact that they haven’t had a bath in -oh- about 2 months,

Or even the fact that there are many times sometimes in which I notice Boz has marked our trashcan and I just pretend I don’t see it so Will can clean it up.

Oh shut up- I know what you’re thinking and the fact of the matter is that Will does that to me ALL the time so I’m totally due for an occasional ignored trashcan pee- but that’s a different post for a different day.

Anyway- back to the matter at hand- confirmations that I would be an awful parent:

I lost Lucy.

Yes- Lucy. My dog. Gone. Wandering the streets… or perhaps eaten by a vicious Doberman.

Okay, not really- she’s alive, but I did lose her and that’s the truth.

Friday was moving day. As I mentioned in my last post we got to move right next door.

Side note: How amazing is that, right!?! Moving is a pain, but it’s hard to complain much when you’re simply taking things from one side of the hall to the other!

Well, the doors were wide open so we could feely pass with stuff in tow without having to constantly open a door. The dogs loved this open door thing. They ran back and forth between the two apartments and really had fun with all the space.

Well, around noon I went downstairs to pick up our lunch. I got back upstairs and proceeded to get everything ready for me, Will, and my family to eat. As we’re preparing to sit down Will asks, “Where’s Lucy?”

We call her several times but get no response. We go over to the old apartment and try the same thing- all to no avail. We quickly realize that Lucy is not in either apartment and is officially a missing person- or whatever.

Guys- I’ve never seen Will act so maniacal. It really freaked me out. I mean, sure I knew he loved Lucy, but my gosh that guy is crazy about her! He was like a bloodhound after a steak. Up and down the elevator. Outside, asking around. Shaking and yelling at people. Crazy, I tell you! Crazy! (okay, so the last part was a lie- but wouldn’t that have been funny?)

I had a feeling I knew where she went, so I hopped on the elevator and went up a few floors. Sure enough- our Lucy was there, wandering around the lobby area! She looked at me and cocked her head as if to say, “ Who’s the freaking idiot now!?” and I didn’t argue. I scooped her up and showered her with kisses. I was pretty scared for a minute there too! Lucy is so curious and when you couple that with her friendliness it’s just a recipe for disaster. Apparently she hopped on the elevator when I got off with lunch and took a ride.

As you can imagine, Will was very relieved to have his Lucy back in one piece, and I think Boz might have even been happy too (though I’m sure he’d never admit it).

It was quiet an exciting move day, that’s for sure.Oh, and don’t worry- I’ve moved the hour hand on my biological clock back a few hours because of this incident. I’m not prepared to lose a toddler just yet. 

no one ever said it would be this hard, i’m going back to the start

I think I hurt my dad’s feelings today and I hate that.

I didn’t hurt them by saying something or intentionally doing something stupid, yet I know I left with him feeling sad as I got out of the car from our lunch date today. He was positive, yet quiet, and I know a lot was on his mind.

As I got out of the car I just felt like crying and hiding in my bed forever. What a strange feeling for a grown woman, but that’s what I felt. I just wanted God to be wrong or come from behind the corner in some awful leisure suit and be like, “Ahahaha, gotcha Brittny! This is all going to go away- and for being such a good sport you win an NIV copy of the book of James!”

Wait, I retract the leisure suit comment. God totally has good taste in clothes, right?

Anyway- I just felt so bad having to be courageous today.

My heart hurts because I know more sadness may be on the way and I just hate it guys, I really hate it.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. I have lots and lots to talk about. Sorry I’ve been MIA this week. More to come soon.

PS- Remember the whole “you have to move out of your apartment because we’re remodeling and oh by the way since you have dogs you can’t come back” issue? Yeah, well, we’re moving this weekend. Right next door. Very exciting yet at the same time a little melancholy.

Love you guys. I promise- a real post soon! Blame my boss.

oh and PPS- I was totally about to name this post My Sad Dad- but it just made me laugh so much because it rhymed and I felt as though I shouldn’t have a freaking hilarious rhyming title for something sort of sad. Just had to throw that in to make you guys smile. smile <3

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About

brittny I'm B-Love. Lover of God, my husband Will, my doggies, OU football, weight training, plyometrics healthy eating (mostly!), peanut butter, and all things health related. Buckle up and get ready for my constant embarrassing moments, health and fitness tips,and my effort to rely on Christ while living life in the real world. Follow me on Feedly! Sign up for monthly emails at blove@theblovelife.com!


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