Pantene is made for hair and not feet.

I’m just saying…

Someone from work got me a subscription to Women’s Health- which I think is very thoughtful.

I guess now that means I have to stop stealing their Men’s Health magazines.

Do you think they were trying to tell me something? 

So I mentioned earlier that I thought today was Friday.

For this reason I believe I’m having an off day.

When I wear flats with no socks I spray my feet with deoderant.

Only today I sprayed them with Pantene Pro-V hairspray.

I think that calls for some dry joke about having feet so healthy they shine.

I ran 2.25 miles without stopping today- and then ran another .25 after a quick .50 mile speed walk.

I need to be able to run 3 by the end of next month.

I think I need to lay off the Taco Bueno, but who are we kidding- that’s not going to happen.

Instead I’ll just continue to gasp for air each time I reach 2.25 and force myself to run a little longer until I get to 3 miles.

Give up Taco Bueno. Ha. 

I got up today thinking it was Friday.

I was bummed.

The good news is that I realized this prior to wearing jeans to work.

That might have been awkward. 

A year ago today I was embarking on the most amazing trip ever. I must say, 5 August 2009 was far different different than 5 August 2008. Instead of boarding our amazing cruiseship and getting ready for what truly was one of the best three weeks of my life, I sat in my little cubicle reading the Federal Acquisition Regulation and trying to make heads and tails of our finance guy’s pricing sheet.

Good times.

I must admit, my heart hurt a little bit today when I got up. I know it sounds silly to be all reminiscent and bummed about the “anniversary” of my dream vacation, but I was.

I guess that’s got to be normal, right?

Please tell me that’s normal.

Okay- so we all agree that my feelings today were normal.

What is not normal is looking ahead to the next 20 days of my life thinking about how I’ll be all, “Oh on the 14th I was in Pompeii” or “On the 12th I was in Tunisia. Sigh...”

I think that borderlines as a little crazy. When I stop and think about it- that trip, last year, was the last time I took a vacation! Granted, it was three weeks (Yes, my boss is amazing. I had already had this trip planned before taking the job so she let me go.)- but it was a whole year ago! Craziness. I did take two days in January to go to Miami, but that’s more of a long weekend.

Anyway, perhaps I’m just bummed because I fully realize that the next time I’ll get to do something that spectacular is when you win the lottery and give me all your earnings we retire.

I guess I am being rational, right?

Oh, and so today I went back for old time’s sake (um, which bummed me out even more) and read about all the amazing adventures me and P went on. It’s sort of funny to look back and read these now because it was our chance to say goodbye to each other before she headed to school in Dubai for four years and Will and I settled down in Oklahoma.

Well, I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you that P is moving back to America! She’ll still be far away, but not an ocean away- and close enough for long girl weekends! I’m very pleased with this decision.

I tell you that because it’s funny how things work out. Last year i was just certain I’d never see my sister again, and here we are a year later and she’s going to be fairly close again. I guess that’s why we’re not meant to worry about things, right?

Enough rambling today. Here’s to the most amazing trip of my life, and some of the best memories I’ve ever made-

and here’s to planning something just as great in 2010, perhaps?

Um- only way way shorter. I’m pretty sure that three week vacation thing was a one time deal.

1. I went to DC on Wednesday- for just one night- and have yet to unpack my bag a whole week later.

2. I made brownies last weekend just for the heck of it. I got the amazing and trashy ones and even slathered them in chocolate frosting. Hello fatness!

I made them Friday night and they were gone Sunday night.

Two days.

Two people.

You do the math.

I feel my teeth rotting and my butt growing just confessing that.

3. I’ve eaten more of Will’s birthday cake than he knows, but since I serve it to him he has no idea. Shhh! Geez I’m so fat.

4.(Ha! After sharing all my food fatness confessions) I think I’m going to run a 5k this October. I really want to do it but I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to run 3 straight miles between now and October (um without going into cardiac arrest, that is). I always do the elliptical and never run. I want to do this and challenge myself- and change up my workout- but at the same time I have this fear that I won’t be able to do it. Sigh- okay that was a sad confession! Let’s end on a good one.

5. I washed my hair last Wednesday and put a freaking TON of hairspray in it so I could wear it nice and curled Thursday while I was on my trip without having to wash it.

And I did just that- and wore it Friday too.

And Saturday.

And Sunday.

Yes. I really did do that. Perhaps I can say it’s because I’m “going green?”

Hey- this is about confessions, right?

Need to get something off your chest? 

I locked myself out of the house this afternoon.

But wait- there’s more.

There’s always more.

I keep waiting for a time in which my bad fortune no longer follows me, however that time has yet to come and once again reared its ugly head in the form of a locked door today.

Let’s get started.

Okay. So today is Will’s birthday. Yay for Will’s birthday!

I was determined to make today great.

Which was my first mistake.

I should know by now that if I’m out to make a day great something is lurking around the corner to squash my plans.

Will I ever learn?

Work was really busy all morning and I really needed to work through lunch, however I thought it might be a good idea to run home today, check on the doggies, and grab a quick lunch- which is what I did.

As I finished my lunch I noticed it was raining pouring outside. I thought I better get an umbrella to take with me to avoid the downpour, only I realized my umbrella was in my car- and Will had my car today.

Aha! I remembered I had a random umbrella out in the garage. So- barefoot and all I ran out to the garage (closing the door behind me, of course) and grabbed the umbrella. As I went to enter the house it happened.

The door wouldn’t open.

I then began to feel a little panicky, sick to my stomach and started experincing that yucky upper lip sweat.

I pryed and jolted and yelled (you know- because yelling always unlocks bolted doors) but nothing happened.

I then got the genius idea to use a screwdriver to leverage the door between the frame.

Um, the terrible dig marks in the door frame clearly yell, “That wasn’t a good idea you freaking moron!!!”

Yeah- so don’t do that.

So then I began to get totally irrational and ridiculous. Like a mad woman. “I know, I’ll run and thrust my body against the door to force it open!”

Okay- so I didn’t really do that, but trust me- I was quite irrational nonetheless.

So… what to do, what to do…

I had a pair of nasty old tennis shoes and a pair of tacky black cheap-o flip flops.

Choices, choices.

I lifted the garage, opened my umbrella and started knocking on doors up and down my street.

In the rain.

The pouring rain.

In a pretty white dress.

A pretty white dress.

In tacky black cheap-o flip flops (I figured that went better with my dress… in that trashy sort or, “I like to dress up but have no regard for what I wear on my feet” sort of way).

No one answered.

Why would they? They were al at work- where I needed to be.

Up and down the street. Finally! Someone answered. This woman across the street had just had a baby and was home- thank God for your baby woman! It was if God allowed you to have your kid so you would be home at this exact.moment.in.time.

Okay- so maybe not, but it did feel a little like a divine moment after trudging up and down my neighborhood in the pouring rain, pretty white dress, and tacky flip flops.

Anyway- she was gracious enough to let me in and use the phone. I called Will- who was not in town today (of course!). He told me to call a locksmith and work it out that way.

Oh- and he was annoyed that I managed to lock myself out.

Happy birthday honey!

Anyway, the lady told me that she could just go ahead and take me back to work so that I wouldn’t have to wait for a locksmith and pay for him to come out. I thought it was so nice of her to offer. I have very nice neighbors. I graciously accepted, took my tacky flip flops, got in her car and went back to work.

As we rode back I realized that there were a few bad things I had failed to think through when deciding not to call the locksmith.

1. My purse was in the truck, totally exposed for all the world to see and steal.

Genius Brittny.

Will tells me time after time, “Brittny- bring your purse inside and don’t leave it in the car!” And for once in my life he was so very right (actually, he’s always right about this one...). My freaking locked house was beyond safe at this point. I could most certainly confirm all doors were locked! Sigh…

Then there were the doggies.

The doggies stay in a kennel all day long because you may remember they’re quite naughty and cannot be trusted to roam around the house all alone.

Just recall this post or this one or this one.

Good times.

Anyway- they’re bad doggies and cannot be trusted.

And I had left them in the house.

All alone.

Home alone doggies.

To roam free.

And chew my wood.

And the shoes I was wearing as of 11:30 this morning and should have been wearing as I was riding to work.

I could just imagine what was happening to my house.

What a mistake to leave them out!

Sigh…

Will loved finding that out.

Oh- and I didn’t tell him. I just let him come home and be surprised.

Surprise! Happy birthday!

Anyway… it’s been quite a day.

Will picked me up from work and I felt back because I had to have him drive me to get his cake oh- and I had intended to get his birthday card on the way home too. Opps.

So- there you have it.

There’s probably a ton more I’m leaving our and need to share but Will wants me to watch “Dating in the Dark” tonight because this guy on his favorite sports talk radio was talking about how funny it was.

I think it’s weird.

But hey- it’s his birthday, and I did leave our kids home alone today.

Oh- and locked myself out.

Let’s not forget that one.

Genius. 

Good: I got up on time and made it to the airport really early.

Bad: I planned on using my extra time at the airport to do some work, only to find out the OKC airport charges for WiFi. I hate those guys.

Good: Leaving on time from OKC.

Bad: Not having enough time for lunch in Cincinnati and having to go straight to our gate.

Good: Getting a window seat on my stretch to D.C.

Bad: Having the ice sensor thing break on the right wing, which caused us to be an hour delayed.

Good: The cookies they gave out on our trip.

Bad: The fact that those cookies were the only thing I had eaten all.day.long.

Good: Getting to see a few landmarks as we flew into D.C.

Bad: Being here for work, not pleasure (it’s a super fast trip).

Good: Setting up my computer and catching up on emails- all in my comfy clothes.

Bad: Catching up on emails and having to squint due to the poor lighting.

Good: The giant fattening burger I had delivered to my room tonight. I <3 room service.

Bad: Um, I think I’m over per diem. I should probably look into that…

Good: Having time to post!

And let’s end on a happy note. I’m enjoying my trip out of the office. I’ve never been to D.C. (and I’m not sure if this even technically counts since it’s such a quick trip!) so the whole 10 minutes I’ve been here have been great! (ha ha)

Hope you are doing well! 

There are two things in life you can be certain of:

Death

and

Taxes.

I think right about -> ______ there is where I’m supposed to insert some sort of pithy comment or remark about this subject, but sadly I have nothing pithy so share today.

More like lamenting.

I won’t get into all the terrible details but let’s just say Will and I got this huge random surprise in the mail this past weekend.

Um- and since we’re both alive you can probably guess it’s not the death part I speak of.

Although… it sort of felt like that. I began to feel all claustrophobic and itchy and sweaty as if I were trapped in some cheap velvety low quality wood coffin.

Good times.

Anyway there was this big misunderstanding (Um that’s my cute and polite explanation of what happened. If we were discussing this issue with you in person I would definitely not say “big misunderstanding.” I would instead say something that would probably make you blush a little.) and much to our surprise we owe taxes we thought we had already paid.

Like I said- a “big effing misunderstanding.”

Good times.

Oh- and it’s Monday.

Oh- and it’s freaking hot.

Oh- and it’s supposed to storm tonight.

Wow! This day just gets better and better. Okay- I realize I can’t blame all my troubles on Monday, but it just feels so darn good!

Don’t you guys sometimes seriously miss the days of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and naps on the blue cushy kindergarten mats? It’s days like today where I do.

Actually, it’s days like today where I think, “Seriously. What in the HELL am I doing living here!?! Why am I here!? I could be back in Kuwait away from all this stupid ‘real life’ trouble and crap.”

I’d be lying if I haven’t been thinking that a.lot. lately. I guess it’s normal. I mean we seriously found this amazing “loophole.” Where the real world worries are distant memories. I realize that what we had wasn’t exactly normal and that what happened to us this weekend happens to people all the time, but it’s days like today, when Uncle Sam has kicked me square in the stomach when I was already down- and wearing my Sunday best- that I really wish we never even moved back.

I realize we moved back probably at the worst time ever- which is something I often have to remind myself- and a lot of people are experiencing the same things we are. I also truly believe everything worked out so perfectly to move back and was definitely of God. I’m still not sure of how it fits into “the master plan,” but I know I had a peace about coming back.

I also know I love my job and where we live. I’m very blessed. However, I’m not going to lie- days like today seriously make me miss life in Kuwait.

Oh- and days when I have a messy house. So you know… like Monday thru Sunday (ha ha).

Sorry to vent. It’s just been a seriously lousy day and has me bummed. “Big misunderstandings” suck. I know we’re not the first to experience them and we’ll certainly not be the last. I know everything will work out and we’ll be okay, but I just felt the need to blow off some major steam.

You know- because I know how much you love hearing about other people’s problems when you have a slew of your own!

More typical Brittny posting to come soon. I’m traveling this week and you may remember what happened last time I travelled. Who knows what’s bound to happen!

More to come.

<3